So apparently the photoshoot ain't happening tonight...
I'm so upset. I've been looking forward to this for how long?



I need to stop crying.
I understand why, but Jesus...

It'll happen eventually.
Sigh...

I'm aching to get some new ink! I'm deciding between a cutsie Halloween-ish tattoo and a Led Zeppelin one.

I was thinking of something like this, but minus the bunny:



And for the Zep tat, I like this cover art from When Giants Walked the Earth:



Or maybe getting text on my forearm saying "Does anyone remember laughter?"
(can't go wrong with a Song Remains the Same quote)

I wish I had ze monies for buying ze inksies! lol

So I'm visiting the in-laws for a few days, and it's like a little happytime vacation. They are so super-fantastic, I can hardly stand it! I can truly be myself around them, unlike my own parents. (Ugh, so much drama and rules and expectations with them...)

My hubby's family and I had a firepit pow-wow last night in the front yard. We roasted s'mores and hot dogs. Delicious, delicious hot dogs. It's always been a mild fantasy of mine to roast hot dogs over an open flame for some reason. It was so cozy and cute and fun and tasty. lol

Amarena is loving life right now.

I friggin love naps. I am the master of cranking up the air conditioning and partaking in some hardcore summertime snuggling.



Zzzzzzzzzzz...

I'm so bummed about my Digital SLR. About 2 months ago, one of the CF card prongs bent, and I'll have to drop $250+ if I want to get it repaired. Which beats buying another $1000 camera, for sure...but still. I don't know if it's worth spending almost 300 dollars towards a camera that's about 5 years old.

Anyone have any suggestions? Should I just forget about it and buy a new camera? Or should I invest in repairing this one?



And I was all amped to use it for SG shoots...

RIP, Angie's Canon Rebel XT.

I finally saw Public Enemies. Oh. My. GOD! Sheer GORGEOUSNESS!!!

I am a sucker for 30's fashion. Throw in some Johnny, Marion Cotillard, and Chi-Town coolness...***DIES***




Angie's threesome fantasy of the moment.


She is just stunning. <(0 0<)

Today, Noah and I have been married one year. Cuh-raaaaazy! But oh, so awesome!

During yesterday's ridiculous blowout over the phone with my parents, my husband and I finally stood up for ourselves. We let 'em have it pretty good. But the great thing is, we were both pretty damn mature and adult about it, whereas my folks (well, mostly my dad) acted like bratty children.

They can take their "traditional core values" and shove 'em where the sun don't shine. How dare they suggest our marriage is doomed to fail because we're not repressed conservatives. All that "This is MY HOUSE and you will go by what your mother and I believe" shit is just sad. Riiiiiiiight, Dad...you can totally control the way your adult children live their lives...lol.

Really, the anger has pretty much subsided, and now I just feel sorry for how closeminded they are. And it's kind of funny too. What started this mess was simple (simply retarded). I suggested Noah spend a few days over at their house with my younger brother while I worked all weekend (he gets lonely and bored...duh!). Apparently this notion of us not spending every waking second together scandalized them. "You mean he's going to be away from you while you're working!!! That will break up your marriage. It's not right!!!" Isn't that just ri-goddamn-diculous? I mean, Jesus Christ, we're headed to divorce because we have a life outside of eachother?!? I mean, c'MON! If they think THAT is immoral & crazy liberal behavior, how the fuck would they react if they knew me and Noah have an open marriage, and that I am trying to get paid for posing nude online??? LMAO.

I'm glad I can laugh about this now (I was pretty much crying all day yesterday).
Sigh...so pathetic.

I'll just throw it all on the table now. I am petrified of the paranormal. I'm not talking "oh I'm afraid of the dark and get creeped out by cemeteries" shit. I'm talking deep-rooted, almost crippling fear.

I'm an atheist, and I don't believe in an afterlife. However...drumroll, please...I was raised extremely Catholic. So all that fire and brimstone business is ingrained in me. Now my parents weren't all "let's put the fear of God in our children" or anything. Actually, my Dad isn't that religious at all; it's my mom and her mom, and so on. I was sent to Catholic grade school and high school. My mom believes in angels, demons, and the Devil (she claims her sister's twin daughters saw Satan hovering over their depressed older brother...LOL). My mom used to bless our house with Holy Water and pray the rosary every day.

I know that these fears are ridiculous. I often laugh at myself for being so pansy-assed when it comes to ghosts, and particularly demons. Logically, I can attribute paranormal activity to latent energy (who knows where energy goes after someone dies?) and the human psyche. There are so many things we will never understand about the power our minds. And I'm okay with that. However, despite all my rationale and common sense, I cannot shake my lifelong battle with this fear.

Lately, though, I've been feeling rather brave regarding my fear of all things paranormal. I've been suggesting to my husband, only half-jokingly, that we sit down and watch some movies I've vowed to never see. Rosemary's Baby, the original Amityville Horror, basically anything dealing with hell and its relationship with people on earth. Part of me thinks this would just be a stupid decision. Because as cheesey as these movies have to be, I'd most likely end up crying and having to sleep with the light on for weeks.

I feel such a strong urge to face these fears head-on. I almost wanna call up Jason and Grant from T.A.P.S and be all "Hey. Can you help a terrified sister out? Let me accompany you guys on one of your runs of a haunted location...Let's shake this fear outta me!" Noah thinks it's a baaaaaaad idea. lol

Lately I've been having this surreal, giddy feeling that something big is gonna go down. Good or Bad, I'm not sure. I just feel something bubbling under the surface, waiting to emerge and slap me in the face. Ominous, yet intriguing.

~~

I'm also getting the urge to dye my hair again. Last time it was a lovely auburn, but now I wanna go black! (And never go back...lol). Anyway, I'm kind of scared to go so dark. After all, I am very pale - let's face it I'm white as a ghost. I don't want it to wash me out, but I've always wanted raven hair. And I'm not good on hair upkeep, so I don't wanna have to deal with fixing roots and shit. Hmm...I kind wanna go for it. But I don't know.

Speaking of dye jobs, I'm so glad Britney went brunette again. I looooooove her with dark hair. I hope she keeps it brown for the Tour DVD.




Well, I'm off like a dirty shirt...