got my digicam after i came home from dinner. so here is a silly picture story. pictorial?

i c u


psst!!! hey... whats up?


whats that moving around over there?


you said its a what?!?


a trouser snake? what the fuck...


oh!!! it's been so long i forgot what a trouser snake was!

pervert.



that was fun! hehe! i love this camera!!! so many bells and whistles! i reccommend the canon powershot digital elph sd300!

im gonna have so much fun with this damned camera!!!

night...

aaaarg!!! i hate shaving. if it were up to me i would never shave. anything. ever. the last guy i dated i was with for 2 years and he didnt give a rats ass about whether i shaved or not. it was awesome. i could have corn-rowed my armpit hair and he wouldnt have cared. oh, good times. we used to be the dirtiest, scummiest couple in SoCal. sometimes we'd compete as to who had stinkier pits, hahaha. i had alot of fun with that asshole. too bad he went out for hamburgers when he had steak at home.

my digicam has not arrived yet. im SO impatient. i want it now. "but i want it NOW daddy..." ahahah.

as you saw in the pic i posted yesterday im kinda growing my hair out. its sooo normal and boring... my grandma loves it. she keeps saying things like, "oh your hair looks so nice baby" and "grandpa! look at your granddaughters hair! isn't is just adorable?" blah blah. she hates my head shaved. she says its better than my tri-hawks but she doesnt like my style. haha go figure.

my mama bought me a new stereo. its nice! it has a dvd played built into it and shit... but i cant get it hooked up. damned technology.

im hungover. went out to some bar last night called the juke joint i think in anaheim. saw my friends band play. got free beer all night. got free smokes from some camel promoter. got smoked out for free. all in all it was a spectacular evening. maybe found a job. im not sure though. i want to do what the cigarette promoters do... they sit at a bar all night and talk to people and scan their ID's for statistical info and then hand em a free pack of smokes! how awesome would that be? i live in LA too so we have some rockin bars around here. anyone know anything about those sorts of jobs?

i keep finding myself in situations at home when i need a man around. for instance: repairing a broken window, lifting a heavy entertainment center off the carpet, investigating a scary noise, etc etc. i've decided that it blows not living with a man. my father has been a pillar in all of my life. he could do anything anytime and fix everything. when i got kicked out of my parents house a couple years ago, i moved into an apartment with my ex-boyfriend. he wasn't nearly as handy as my father, but he did what he could. now, my father doesnt live with my mom anymore. and i moved back in with her. just us two. its nice and peaceful and there is never any fighting in the house cos we get along great but some things go easier with a man to help. i miss having a man in my house.

i beginning to miss alot of things now that i think about it...

like i said the other day, my mind wont stop doing backflips. dont you ever wish you could turn the on/off switch to your mind? i keep mulling over things in the past, over analyzing situations, stressing myself out for nothing.

my life is becoming increasingly monotonous. i am drowning in a sea of monotony. ever catch yourself dreaming of having another life? another place? another time period? i fantasize incessantly about being in different time periods. i dream of being a happy fun young girl in the 17th century... poofy dresses and horse drawn carriages. luxury and despair. famine and wealth. extremes. im rambling...

toodles~

thanks to everyone who checked out the new set. isn't it just great? Sawa did a fucking fantastic job shooting the set! when we got around to shooting the sn had just begun to set and the light shining from the sunset played soooooo well with the gold hues in my bra and the fresh blonde hair. i am just super duper impressed!

i ordered a digital camera finally! digicam yay digicam yay! its a "canon elph sd300"... 4 megapixels and shiot. the last digicam i had got plopped in the toilet... my ex and i were fighting and it flew out of my purse. i guess it wanted to go for a swim... well when i get this damned thingy (hopefully it comes in the mail tomorrow) --damn snail mail-- i will take tons of pics and im gonna try to post a new picture everyday... we'll see how that goes but thats my goal.

my mind is doing fucking backflips.
i need a job. i dont want a job. im broke and im tired of it. my hair is a little grown out now.

so i think my chances of getting hired are greater if my hair looks a little more normal and stylish rather than the way i like it which is trashy and scary.

i want a job at a strip club. i want to be a cocktail waitress cos i dont have to get nekkie but i can still look sexy and make that money. i need money. im almost tempted to strip but i dont know how to dance for shit and i dont think i have the balls to strip live in front of people... strippers make tons of money... and i need some money but i have tons of insecurities. im soooooo broke i hate it. i want to be able to go out and buy new shoes is i want to or get buy some records... something. anyone have any hook ups for strip clubs in the so cal area? i want to be a cocktail waitress and see what the stripping world is like...

a sugar daddy would be cool... i could use some jewelry and fur...


i know this might sound silly but im kinda feeling inferior... seeing all of these drop dead gorgeous girls with professional ass photo sets. the more and more girls that become suicidegirls the more and more they start to look like normal model girls... i dont wanna offend any of the girls so i think i'll just shut my mouth right now.

i wont do it with you.

i'll do it to you.

im embarking on the early stages of love handles.

im so upset!

im gonna go run like 50 miles now.

hahah.

then im gonna stop to rest and die of heart failure!

despite the silly face i am making, this midori margarita rocked my world.

im turning into a boozehound.

i took off for the weekend. went to my uncles. i needed to get away from LA and relax.

i learned many interesting things this past weekend which might or might not interest you...

-there are 3 requirements which must be maintained in order to keep me happy: being warm, fed until im full, and well rested
-im whiny
-im needy
-im like a little child basically
-i have the taste buds of a 2 year old, in other words i have not acquired an 'adult' sense of taste... i dont eat things with spices or whatnot on it... just hot dogs and mac-n-cheese ahahahaha
-cadillac margaritas with alot of lime juice are YUMMY and get me VERY VERY DRUNK
-skinny dipping is a blast
-yo no soy marinero
-men are a dime a dozen
-im young and i plan to have a fuckin blast while i can... fuck drama

about 2 hrs after i arrived at my uncles house i was belligerently drunk and after about 2 and a half hours i was worshiping the porcelian god (a.k.a. the toilet).

it was a wonderful weekend although i did miss one of my friends birthday parties. that sucked. plus i heard that there were TONS of hot men there...

i want a digital camera and i will not be satisfied until i get one, dammit.

my mother and i are painting my room 'victorian red' with black trim and were installing a chair rail this weekend. im soooo stoked. its gonna look awesome. classy, hahah. my room used to look like my 'punk rock' set. with flyers from floor to ceiling and wall to wall. it was very busy to say the least. now i need classy decorations and shit... i mean im gonna put fylers back up on one wall and one wall has big mirror closet doors so really i only need decorations for 2 walls, but i dont know how to go about it. i wish i knew someone who worked at a halloween store. it would be bad ass to get some halloween decorations like fake torn off arms and shit to hang from the wall... hahah make it look like a toture chamber... does anyone know someone who makes that kind of stuff or works where i can get some? i like employee discounts

haha... must go fulfill my #2 requirement: eating.

xoxo
aiden

now i remember why i dont want to have anything to do with my ex.

now he is targeting my friends and starting shit with them.

when will the drama end?

he came by. i knew he would so i took off. i left him a note. after he finished reading the note, it fell to the floor. he left.

my heart feels like it has been ripped out.

he says he loves me. i still love him. but it just wont work.

my heart says Yes but my brain says NO...

PLEASE DONT WISH ME A HAPPY VALENTINES DAY UNLESS ITS A HAPPY ANTI-VALENTINES DAY WISH! -thx much

okay. i think im going to have to smoke a FAT bowl.

i saw my ex boyfriend at this show i was at tonight.

i've been avoiding that for months.

love sucks ASS. i wish it were different, but, i just cant forgive him. once i get burned, i never get burned again. i am not a person to fuck around with. i have ZERO problem writing someone off if i get fucked over. this blows. i forgot how good he smells. you know what i mean? he doesnt literally smell good like with cologne but on a chemical level, a purely animalistic instinct, he smells good. i want to lie in his arms, with our cats, and laugh... But, then i think about his arms being all over some other bitch. i gave my all and in return i got nothing. nothing but hurt.

god, im a fuckin emo kid.

aiden