PICS
Back to the real world, the 40 degree weather and two weeks left til finals.
I had a beautiful break in SF. I bonded with my teenage cousin, spiked the punch, and went record shopping. I love records! I've never bought any before. I also got a coat on telegraph, which looks like this :
Spent one day in Berkely and one in Chinatown, combing through kitch, buying tea and lotus cakes and paper lanterns. I want to live in a rinky-dink apartment in a sketchy alleyway in Chinatown where I could air my laundry on the fire escape. Walking from Market Street felt like I had stepped into the Vogue I was reading on the plane. I felt brave taking the bus, the Bart and the streetcar all in one day without getting lost.
Went to see Street to Nowhere at the Bottom of the Hill with the beautiful lessthanthree and friends. It was really good and I "met" some band members which was fun. It was a little sad though because I know that I have to go back to my real life in Portland and I wont be able to live out my adolescent fantasies of going to shows every weekend and living in the bay being a merchgirl-roadie-photographer for life.
It made me miss California the beautiful and the people there so I gave in, yes, and joined myspace. I feel like a big tool. So please, add me, because wherever you are, California friends, I've missed you.
I had a beautiful break in SF. I bonded with my teenage cousin, spiked the punch, and went record shopping. I love records! I've never bought any before. I also got a coat on telegraph, which looks like this :
Spent one day in Berkely and one in Chinatown, combing through kitch, buying tea and lotus cakes and paper lanterns. I want to live in a rinky-dink apartment in a sketchy alleyway in Chinatown where I could air my laundry on the fire escape. Walking from Market Street felt like I had stepped into the Vogue I was reading on the plane. I felt brave taking the bus, the Bart and the streetcar all in one day without getting lost.
Went to see Street to Nowhere at the Bottom of the Hill with the beautiful lessthanthree and friends. It was really good and I "met" some band members which was fun. It was a little sad though because I know that I have to go back to my real life in Portland and I wont be able to live out my adolescent fantasies of going to shows every weekend and living in the bay being a merchgirl-roadie-photographer for life.
It made me miss California the beautiful and the people there so I gave in, yes, and joined myspace. I feel like a big tool. So please, add me, because wherever you are, California friends, I've missed you.
Tra la la.
How lovely to have thanksgiving break soon ! I'm currently making pie. Last night my lovely dormies and I got baked while baking, and ate ice cream out of the tub. Yes, it comes in tubs.
It's been one of those weeks that just whizzes by and I can't seem to do anything the right way. I put off a paper and ended up writing it at work yesterday. I broke my dormie's car. I had my academic honor challenged and then fessed up to shady survey-administering in my psych class (which resulted in laughter from the entire class, the whole situation was pretty funny). I lost my sketchbook which is still behind the counter at Joann fabrics waiting for me to pick it up. I said I could work a shift that I couldn't, but fortunately got out of it when Scylla the amazing covered it for me out of the kindness of her heart. I used up four dozen eggs making 24 pies for our co-op's thanksgiving feast inferno, so now it's time to buy more. Why am I inept?
I don't mind too much since the week is over and I survived with minimal trauma. But it begs the question of whether I'll be able to say I'm thankful for my cognitive capacity during thanksgiving grace this year. heh. I'd rather be dumb and in love than smart and unloving, but I don't think those things are mutually exclusive ... maybe just for me.
How lovely to have thanksgiving break soon ! I'm currently making pie. Last night my lovely dormies and I got baked while baking, and ate ice cream out of the tub. Yes, it comes in tubs.
It's been one of those weeks that just whizzes by and I can't seem to do anything the right way. I put off a paper and ended up writing it at work yesterday. I broke my dormie's car. I had my academic honor challenged and then fessed up to shady survey-administering in my psych class (which resulted in laughter from the entire class, the whole situation was pretty funny). I lost my sketchbook which is still behind the counter at Joann fabrics waiting for me to pick it up. I said I could work a shift that I couldn't, but fortunately got out of it when Scylla the amazing covered it for me out of the kindness of her heart. I used up four dozen eggs making 24 pies for our co-op's thanksgiving feast inferno, so now it's time to buy more. Why am I inept?
I don't mind too much since the week is over and I survived with minimal trauma. But it begs the question of whether I'll be able to say I'm thankful for my cognitive capacity during thanksgiving grace this year. heh. I'd rather be dumb and in love than smart and unloving, but I don't think those things are mutually exclusive ... maybe just for me.
tra la la ...
everyone I know is sick of various illnesses of the throat and nose and head. I am just on the recovery, as is business as usual at work. It's nice to be making $ again so that I can buy cough drops and lemon-ginger toddys at the pied cow.
Well, nurse Absinthe is off to care for the sick and then off to work.
Sponge bath !
everyone I know is sick of various illnesses of the throat and nose and head. I am just on the recovery, as is business as usual at work. It's nice to be making $ again so that I can buy cough drops and lemon-ginger toddys at the pied cow.
Well, nurse Absinthe is off to care for the sick and then off to work.
Sponge bath !
When I was 12 i started writing in a diary and didn't stop until I was 18 and out of high school. I tried to keep writing but it got harder and harder to keep up and I finally stopped. I recently realized that back then there was this sense of urgency, this feeling that i had to get my feelings and thoughts and every single detail in the narrative of my life down in writing to make me feel alive. Adolescence - living in this half-life that keeps dividing and dividing away from childhood until you there is a lead weight inside of you - aware of how the way you are living is not the way you want to live and never wanted to live. Somehow we get free of this and finally we are able to construct life how we wished it would be, but only if you can drag yourself away from your once home and your once life.
It troubled me that I stopped writing when therre was so much to write about, being on my own for the first time in my blue apartment, all the new things i was seeing and going and feeling. But i couldn't help it, the diary didn't feel like something I needed to do it was just something i had to do, a chore to narrate everything. Like being constantly behind the camera of one's own life. Now I see that it was the urgency that made the narrative possible and now that I'm free I don't feel the need to get it all out. I don't know if that's good or bad.
In sculpture class I'm making a box to house all my diaries in. It will have cherry cabinet doors that open with glas doorknob handles and it will hold everything i wrote then. I'm sure it will be big enough too. I'm exited that I'm finally constructing a home for my most valueble possesions and it's cool to get that feeling back of urgency that i now only get with photographs.
It troubled me that I stopped writing when therre was so much to write about, being on my own for the first time in my blue apartment, all the new things i was seeing and going and feeling. But i couldn't help it, the diary didn't feel like something I needed to do it was just something i had to do, a chore to narrate everything. Like being constantly behind the camera of one's own life. Now I see that it was the urgency that made the narrative possible and now that I'm free I don't feel the need to get it all out. I don't know if that's good or bad.
In sculpture class I'm making a box to house all my diaries in. It will have cherry cabinet doors that open with glas doorknob handles and it will hold everything i wrote then. I'm sure it will be big enough too. I'm exited that I'm finally constructing a home for my most valueble possesions and it's cool to get that feeling back of urgency that i now only get with photographs.
the week in review (midweek)
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This weekend my dear frend from the Oaktown came up to visit us. It was good to see her and i love showing my town of to everyone who visits. It was reaining, in true PDX form, but we ventured out nevertheless. In true PDX form, she was hit on skeezefully at the bus stop, and my little tour of downtown was made tha much more true-to-life!
Went to go see the Decemberists play on Friday which was really great. I love it when you hear music so beautiful and eerie that just rips into your heart with guitar picks and drum keys and, in this case, a violin bow; music that shreds you up inside and keeps you from being still. Lately i haven't been able to listen to or see anything sad or I'l just burst into tears. Fortunately the Decemberists weren't sad, They were just, really, really good and we danced and danced until we were almost dead. It was like sex or something.
Even though it's bitterly cold outside I feel glowing and good. I was feeling black and terrible for so long. I'm trying to shake the bad dream that was fall break by snuggling, watching Ally G, and sleeping in. According to nurse Absinthe, this seems like the best possible cure. <3
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Ever since a fire extinguisher fell off the wall at work (coating the entire place with this white powdery smoky dust), making every surface in the bar look like a cocaine party from a 70's movie, or a snowstorm inside of hell, I've had a lingering cough. My glands looked like bowling balls for a couples days but I seem to be alright now. The school nurse's prognosis was inconclusive. "Maybe you have a virus? It could be mono. I don't know what's in fire extunguishers exactly." Thank goodness all those years at med school paid off. I prefer to let my space doctor friend diagnose me.
I am having a little bit of an academic crisis. I suppose I've been having one for this entire school year. I can't seem to turn in anything less than a couple hours late or come to class on time. I get argued with in class when i didn't realize I was being opinionated. My papers come back with either placating or worrying comments. I can't seem to measure anything to save my life in sculpture class and the prof tells me to stop being so hard on myself, it doesn't have to be perfect. I get my grades and it's always "satisfactory, saitsfatory, saisfactory." Quizås, Quizås, Quizås.
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----This weekend my dear frend from the Oaktown came up to visit us. It was good to see her and i love showing my town of to everyone who visits. It was reaining, in true PDX form, but we ventured out nevertheless. In true PDX form, she was hit on skeezefully at the bus stop, and my little tour of downtown was made tha much more true-to-life!
Went to go see the Decemberists play on Friday which was really great. I love it when you hear music so beautiful and eerie that just rips into your heart with guitar picks and drum keys and, in this case, a violin bow; music that shreds you up inside and keeps you from being still. Lately i haven't been able to listen to or see anything sad or I'l just burst into tears. Fortunately the Decemberists weren't sad, They were just, really, really good and we danced and danced until we were almost dead. It was like sex or something.
Even though it's bitterly cold outside I feel glowing and good. I was feeling black and terrible for so long. I'm trying to shake the bad dream that was fall break by snuggling, watching Ally G, and sleeping in. According to nurse Absinthe, this seems like the best possible cure. <3
---
---Ever since a fire extinguisher fell off the wall at work (coating the entire place with this white powdery smoky dust), making every surface in the bar look like a cocaine party from a 70's movie, or a snowstorm inside of hell, I've had a lingering cough. My glands looked like bowling balls for a couples days but I seem to be alright now. The school nurse's prognosis was inconclusive. "Maybe you have a virus? It could be mono. I don't know what's in fire extunguishers exactly." Thank goodness all those years at med school paid off. I prefer to let my space doctor friend diagnose me.
I am having a little bit of an academic crisis. I suppose I've been having one for this entire school year. I can't seem to turn in anything less than a couple hours late or come to class on time. I get argued with in class when i didn't realize I was being opinionated. My papers come back with either placating or worrying comments. I can't seem to measure anything to save my life in sculpture class and the prof tells me to stop being so hard on myself, it doesn't have to be perfect. I get my grades and it's always "satisfactory, saitsfatory, saisfactory." Quizås, Quizås, Quizås.
Oh, I am in a black mood, a black Plath mood.
these seem to be happening more and more regularly.
Maybe because it's no longer beautiful October, my favorite month of the year. Instead it is dreary November and that means Winter is coming and I just hate winter. It makes me feel vulnerable and worn out and hungry but apetiteless. I also had a painfully vivid dream last night that i can't seem to shake. Cure me of this haunted mood.
Even eating an ice cream bar and chocolate kisses for breakfast didn't help as much as it should have.
I like listening to the rain at night and in the morning when I started walking to the shop I stood on the bridge watching the drops make perfect rings in the water and the leaves getting shiny and wet before rotting away. (anyone want to crawl under the porch with me?)
On a more positive note, I learned some sweet moves in my dance class and now I feel hot and buff (and sore). I think I'm going to go sit in the sauna this afternoon. now to go make tea. and write to lessthanthree, who I miss so much.
these seem to be happening more and more regularly.
Maybe because it's no longer beautiful October, my favorite month of the year. Instead it is dreary November and that means Winter is coming and I just hate winter. It makes me feel vulnerable and worn out and hungry but apetiteless. I also had a painfully vivid dream last night that i can't seem to shake. Cure me of this haunted mood.
Even eating an ice cream bar and chocolate kisses for breakfast didn't help as much as it should have.
I like listening to the rain at night and in the morning when I started walking to the shop I stood on the bridge watching the drops make perfect rings in the water and the leaves getting shiny and wet before rotting away. (anyone want to crawl under the porch with me?)
On a more positive note, I learned some sweet moves in my dance class and now I feel hot and buff (and sore). I think I'm going to go sit in the sauna this afternoon. now to go make tea. and write to lessthanthree, who I miss so much.
I love Halloween. When I can finally cast off my human disguise and become my true self. A Robot Maid, of course!
here we are, the beautiful Alohra and I.
there was one other girl who was a french maid but she was not from the future. I told her that even though I have space-age capabilities, that I envied her for having a real beating heart.
However, sometimes it is surely nice to not have to feel anything but cold, spacey electricity.
here we are, the beautiful Alohra and I.
there was one other girl who was a french maid but she was not from the future. I told her that even though I have space-age capabilities, that I envied her for having a real beating heart.
However, sometimes it is surely nice to not have to feel anything but cold, spacey electricity.
Fall Break
I had the most lovely time in SanFrancisco <3 The planets aligned to make the visit all cloudless afternoon sun and pirates and full moons and takeout and sweeping views and fantastically ostentatious buildings and overall it was a big delightful pile of storybook chiché. I'm a loyal PDXer but SF makes me want to call her home. Maybe when I'm rich and famous I'll be able to afford her. <3
The rest of my trip wasn't exactly restful but it did cure me of my homesickness and I went to Oakland and went to the pumpkin patch and went to the beach. All the trips were tinged with sadness and nostaligia but it made me think. Yesterday I watched the green waves roll in perfect spirals onto the gray sand and thought and thought and though. I slept in the car there and back and felt like the fog was creeping into me. Sometimes I feel like I haven't been doing anything right for a long time. I'm hoping that's going to change this quarter.
Also, I didn't throw an enormous party, but i did smoke an enormourmous joint in the backyard and leaped upon my parents new Tempurpedic mattress which is the size of Sweden, and I watched the cable and raided the liquor cabinet and ate ice cream sandwitches for breakfast. Hooray!
Now it's time to study and clean my room. Tra la la.
I had the most lovely time in SanFrancisco <3 The planets aligned to make the visit all cloudless afternoon sun and pirates and full moons and takeout and sweeping views and fantastically ostentatious buildings and overall it was a big delightful pile of storybook chiché. I'm a loyal PDXer but SF makes me want to call her home. Maybe when I'm rich and famous I'll be able to afford her. <3
The rest of my trip wasn't exactly restful but it did cure me of my homesickness and I went to Oakland and went to the pumpkin patch and went to the beach. All the trips were tinged with sadness and nostaligia but it made me think. Yesterday I watched the green waves roll in perfect spirals onto the gray sand and thought and thought and though. I slept in the car there and back and felt like the fog was creeping into me. Sometimes I feel like I haven't been doing anything right for a long time. I'm hoping that's going to change this quarter.
Also, I didn't throw an enormous party, but i did smoke an enormourmous joint in the backyard and leaped upon my parents new Tempurpedic mattress which is the size of Sweden, and I watched the cable and raided the liquor cabinet and ate ice cream sandwitches for breakfast. Hooray!
Now it's time to study and clean my room. Tra la la.
