by Floydian There are many milestones one encounters in life when heading down the road to becoming a daily user of marijuana. The first time you ever smoked. That first trip to the head shop to buy your own pipe. Which would inevitably be followed by the first time your parent's found your pipe;... more

by Floydian

There are many milestones one encounters in life when heading down the road to becoming a daily user of marijuana. The first time you ever smoked. That first trip to the head shop to buy your own pipe. Which would inevitably be followed by the first time your parent's found your pipe; Who could have imagined your mom could have penetrated the impregnable fortress of the back of your underwear drawer, right?

The only thing worse than mom and dad finding your Zig Zags is the first time your parent's found your stash. That's the "Oh, shit!" moment. You’re thinking, "Oh, shit! I'm, so busted!" Your parents are thinking, "Oh, shit! Do I still have the record player and that Dark Side of the Moon album?"

Outwardly, they must punish you and explain that drugs are bad, have no positive role in society, and will be a dead end in your life. But on the inside, they are secretly waiting for your next sleepover at a friend’s house so they can re-live their glory days, thanks to your freshly confiscated grass. In reality, the legal status of marijuana is the only thing stopping a majority of parents out there from enjoying it in their free time.


[Lainey in Hail The Leaf]

But what about when you’re an adult and have kids of your own? Now how do your feelings change about marijuana use? I've been a daily user of marijuana for years and years, but when I think about my own child using marijuana, I'm not sure how I feel. I don't have any children of my own, but I hope to one day.

It's hard to imagine getting mad at them for using pot, but it's also hard to imagine not caring about it either. In college, I seemed to always be the more responsible person in my group of friends. Meaning I never lost my license or life due to driving under the influence of alcohol, and was never arrested or put in jail. But I definitely wasn't a perfect student by any means. I think at that time I let pot influence my life more than I do now.

I feel that as my own personal and work responsibilities became greater, I was forced to focus more on that and less on marijuana. But everyone needs a way to relax at the end of the day, and, more often than not, a hot vaporizer and some tasty herb is my preferred method. Would that all change if I have little ones running around the house?

I still remember the first time I ever smoked with a parent. It was my girlfriend's mom in college. She had been divorced from her father for many years at that point. My girlfriend and I were watching a movie with her mom, and she got up to go get a beer. When she came back to the couch, she sat down and pulled out this little black, metal pipe and just started smoking. My girlfriend and I looked at each other and our eyes just got huge, like, what is happening??

"Hey, you guys want some," her mom asks.

"Uh, sure, mom," she replies.

Then we all just sat around and keep watching the movie, as if nothing ever happened. In fact, I don't think it was ever really mentioned again, nor did it happen again. It was so weird, yet something about how casual the whole situation was made it no big deal at all.

It's hard for me to imagine being so cavalier with marijuana use around my own kids. What would I do if my kids asked me about it or asked if I ever used it? I wouldn't want to give them the impression that there are no possible negative effects, but I also wouldn't want them to think there are no positive aspects either.

Now that one of my college stoner buds has a mother dying of pancreatic cancer, he has tried to get her to use marijuana to ease her pain and increase her appetite as she continues to lose weight. For months she fought him on it, because of a bad experience she had with it when she was 14. Finally after trying it, her pain was not as intense, she had an appetite again, and she was able to eat more than she had in months. It was the first time he had ever used marijuana with his parents and, thanks to the positive results she experienced, it won't be the last.

My own parents know of my marijuana use, and while they don't approve or agree with it, they don't hate on me too much for it either. I end up the butt of stoner jokes from time to time, but I can deal with that. Still I wonder what it will be like when I smell that familiar scent coming from my kid's room one day. What will I say to them?

One thing is for sure, I can't wait to confiscate their bag so I can compare it to mine and make sure I'm still getting the best shit it town.


Those with an interest in combustible culture may want to hit SG’s 420 Group. Come on in and roll up a fattie!

by Steven-Elliot Altman (SG Member: Steven_Altman) Our Fiction Friday serialized novel, The Killswitch Review, is a futuristic murder mystery with killer sociopolitical commentary (and some of the best sex scenes we’ve ever read!). Written by bestselling sci-fi author Steven-Elliot Altman (with Diane... more

by Steven-Elliot Altman (SG Member: Steven_Altman)

Our Fiction Friday serialized novel, The Killswitch Review, is a futuristic murder mystery with killer sociopolitical commentary (and some of the best sex scenes we’ve ever read!). Written by bestselling sci-fi author Steven-Elliot Altman (with Diane DeKelb-Rittenhouse), it offers a terrifying postmodern vision in the tradition of Blade Runner and Brave New World...

By the year 2156, stem cell therapy has triumphed over aging and disease, extending the human lifespan indefinitely. But only for those who have achieved Conscientious Citizen Status. To combat overpopulation, the U.S. has sealed its borders, instituted compulsory contraception and a strict one child per couple policy for those who are permitted to breed, and made technology-assisted suicide readily available. But in a world where the old can remain vital forever, America’s youth have little hope of prosperity.

Jason Haggerty is an investigator for Black Buttons Inc, the government agency responsible for dispensing personal handheld Kevorkian devices, which afford the only legal form of suicide. An armed “Killswitch” monitors and records a citizen’s final moments — up to the point where they press a button and peacefully die. Post-press review agents — “button collectors” — are dispatched to review and judge these final recordings to rule out foul play.

When three teens stage an illegal public suicide, Haggerty suspects their deaths may have been murders. Now his race is on to uncover proof and prevent a nationwide epidemic of copycat suicides. Trouble is, for the first time in history, an entire generation might just decide they’re better off dead.

(Catch up with the previous installments of Killswitch – see links below – then continue reading after the jump…)



[THE KILLSWITCH REVIEW – CHAPTER THREE, PART TWO]

[CLONE JESUS]

[Previous Chapter]

“NOOOOOOOO! No, no, no, no, no!”

Regina’s screams woke him abruptly. Haggerty threw on his robe and rushed into the living room, catching her as her legs began to buckle.

On the viewscreen Haggerty saw a thin-lipped viewcaster in mid-sentence.

“. . . during a concert where three as yet unidentified teenagers apparently committed simultaneous suicide live on global television.”

On the replay, Clone Jesus strummed their guitars and pounded their syncdrums; Haggerty felt he could touch the bass player’s branded arm, the definition of the telecast was so real. Fireworks erupted off the stage as the song ended. The lead singer came forward and bowed. He was shirtless and, unlike the rest of the band, his blisterbrands were not limited to his arms. Brands were raised along his chest, his back, and his shoulders, and a single weal curved from just beneath his left eye to the corner of his lip. The singer rose up, spread his arms, and signaled backstage.

Two boys and a girl in Clone Jesus jackets, all teenagers looking younger than Regina, rushed to his side. Staring at him in evident adoration, they pulled out three KV units, armed and flashing, and displayed them proudly.

Haggerty caught his breath as Regina wailed and buried her face against his chest.

The crowd went silent as the youths pressed their black buttons in unison, than crumpled to the stage.

The transmission abruptly cut back to the newscaster.

It’s a hoax, Haggerty thought. Dear God, let it just be a hoax.

The chime sounded an incoming call.

“Answer, visual off!” Haggerty barked, muting the telemonitor.

Elsa’s image appeared. She was still in the BBI viewing room.

“Jason,” she said calmly, “we have three lights on board. They appear to originate from the Clone Jesus concert site at Death Valley Commemorative Park.”

Regina’s screams escalated into uncontrollable sobbing. She collapsed to the floor, hands to her face.

“Jason, who is that with you?” Elsa queried.

“Never mind,” he shouted. “Who’s the agent on call?”

“Corbin,” she said. The last name Haggerty wanted to hear. It figured the agent with the least experience would be assigned to cover this potential publicity nightmare.

“Connect me to dispatch,” Haggerty said.

Tanner came on immediately. “Jeez Haggerty, you see that on the news?”

“Listen Mitch,” Haggerty said. “You can’t assign this to someone as inexperienced as Corbin. The agency’s about to get slammed.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Tanner quipped. “You wanna take it? It’s in your jurisdiction and you’ve got seniority. Corbin’s on the other line now, requesting assignment and warrants, but I can’t reach the Dragon.”

Haggerty felt torn. Why now? he thought. He glanced at the black box waiting on his coffee table, then down at Regina’s crumpled form on the floor, moaning at fever pitch. Don’t do it, he thought, pass it on. But the call to duty roared within him.

“I’m on my way,” he said.

But first he had to deal with Regina. Nothing he did or said seemed capable of calming her. She wailed and gasped, struggling for breath. Haggerty managed to get a celtrex down her throat, and carried her back to bed. The drug would soon exhaust her — the enhanced effect on someone who hadn’t gone through the therapy. He murmured something soothing, placed a box of tissues within her reach, and fetched a glass of water for the nightstand as her eyelids fluttered shut. It wouldn’t be good if she woke up alone and panicked, so he bent over and spoke quietly, his tone reluctant.

“I need to leave . . .”

Regina’s eyes flew open, all confidence leached from her expression, and she grabbed his arm. “Don’t!” she cried.

She looked so pale, so vulnerable, so young.

“Just for a little while,” he said soothingly, gently extricating himself. “I shouldn’t be more than an hour. Get some rest. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

She closed her eyes and turned her face into the pillow as Haggerty backed quietly out of the room, grabbing his uniform on his way.

Regina’s renewed sobs echoed in his ears. He hated leaving her alone, although he couldn’t imagine why her reaction was so extreme, even given her abhorrence of the black boxes. There had been worse disasters caught on live viewcasts over the years. But if BBI had ever faced a crisis, this was it.

He had to get to the press scene as quickly as possible, and there was only one way to do it. Donning his grays, he ordered his car from the garage.

* * *

“I was beginning to wonder if you forgot you owned a car,” the valet greeted Haggerty cheerfully as he stepped out of the autolift and handed him a tip. “It’s been so long since you’ve used it, I was thinking of offering to buy it from you.”

Apparently he was unaware of the public tragedy that had just unfolded on the airwaves.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Haggerty said pleasantly.

He slugged into his vehicle and powered it on. The thrusters engaged. Firing into the long downgrade sloop that fed into the intercity slotway, he punched the comlink to BBI.

“Elsa, please feed me the coordinates of the triple press and give me any pertinent news commentary.”

“Coming through to you now, Jason,” she said.

“Thanks,” he replied. “Now code me warrants for those three units, check status on all related police warrants, and meet me there as soon as you can.”

Sirens ablaze, the car shifted into autodrive. Elsa had set its coordinates onto a priority track, past the stopped traffic. Haggerty swiveled his seat to bring up the latest coverage on a small plasma console. The thin-lipped viewcaster offered, “Following the alleged triple suicides, the entire entourage of the chart-topping musical group Clone Jesus, including the band members themselves and their manager, entertainment magnate Shintag Lake, are being held for questioning. . . .”

Haggerty’s car slotted into the exitway for Death Valley Commemorative Park. He saw ambulance lights near the stage, where police forced throngs of spectators away from the press site. The sirens allowed him to park reasonably close by.

Climate control in outdoor venues wasn’t impossible but it was costly, and not designed to last more than a few hours. The system was beginning to fail, and the oppressive heat had begun to seep into the area. Haggerty found himself loosening the top of his uniform. The huge field was packed tightly with crying and shouting JCs. Many seemed dazed. Flashing his identiplate, he forced his way through the mob, past security, to the lip of the stage where JCs pushed and shuffled for a better view, and hoisted himself upward with a grunt.

He was unprepared for the sight of the crumpled teens being prepared for transport by gloved Med Techs. Usually by the time he reached a press scene the bodies had been removed. Detective Woyzeck was calling the shots, his badge slung from his neck and a frown on his dark, leathery face. Haggerty had worked with Woyzeck for years, and knew him to be thorough and focused. If anyone could keep this press scene from turning into a circus, it was Woyzeck.

“Fucked up, huh?” the detective said as Haggerty came to his side. Sweat trickled down Woyzeck’s face; he mopped it away with a handkerchief already limp with moisture.

Haggerty looked at one of the teens, her blonde curls splayed against the stage, her eyes blank. On her cheek was a small blisterbrand in the shape of a teardrop.

“Have they been certified?” he asked Woyzeck.

“The coroner hasn’t arrived yet. But I was told to remove the bodies immediately. Normally I’d make you wait for your boxes, but if you promise to get back to me on the contents over drinks sometime, you can have ’em now. Just wait till the bodies get lifted.”

It was a break in procedure to take the boxes prior to certification of death and removal of the bodies. Haggerty knew of cases where reviewers had been docked pay, or worse, for such infractions. But this situation wasn’t normal. Haggerty hoped there’d be something on the recordings that would help him make sense of this tragedy.

“Deal,” he said.

He gloved up and moved toward the girl as two techs rolled her body onto a stretcher and lifted her in unison, then excused themselves. Haggerty watched them move past him toward the foot of the stage. He knelt down to retrieve her KV unit and stared at the popped tab, then glanced back to where she had fallen and saw that she’d dropped something else — a white plasticine keycard.

Haggerty looked around for Woyzeck, but the detective had gone to speak to one of the cops working crowd control and it would be several minutes before Haggerty could get his attention. He glanced from the keycard to the black box.

The casing of the Kevorkian unit was gouged and abraded where the alphanumeric code should have been, the name and serial number completely scrubbed from the unit.

Haggerty went cold. An unheard-of triple press in a public venue, a higher-up ordering a break in protocol to remove bodies before their deaths could be certified, and now this. The wrongness factor had increased exponentially.

Haggerty had never seen anything like it. The only reason for removing the means of identification was that the unit wasn’t hers. But that was impossible. Only the person to whom a unit was registered could successfully press it. If somehow this girl had got hold of someone else’s box and broken through the safeguards, the registration files for the unit would be useless. Unless the recordings on the box identified her, or someone who recognized her from the broadcast stepped forward, it could take weeks, even months to determine who she was. The information they could obtain from a thumbprint — largely transit and consumer purchase data — might prove useful. But again it could take months to navigate the maze of constitutional protections and procure a warrant that would allow them to get an ident that way.

The right thing to do was to alert Detective Woyzeck to the problem. Woyzeck had been a by-the-book guy as long as Haggerty had known him. Surely he would tag the keycard as evidence and ensure that it was properly processed. Unless someone ordered him to break protocol on that, too...

Haggerty looked around. Another M.T. headed toward the next body. Heart racing, Haggerty placed his boot over the card, suddenly wary of everyone. He forced himself to follow procedure, concentrating on the need to secure the unit in the minthizine case, to insure against contamination.

“You okay, Haggerty? You look a little tweaked.” Detective Woyzeck was beside him again. “Maybe you’d better hang back with me until they clear the bodies.”

Woyzeck took Haggerty by the elbow. As Haggerty began to step away, the plasticine card scraped beneath his boot.

“Don’t touch me,” Haggerty said, disengaging his arm. “I’ve got hazardous chemicals on me from the box.”

Woyzeck pulled his hand back. “I forgot.”

“Wash your hands at one of the M.T. units,” Haggerty advised.

Both men turned as sirens whirred close to the stage. Haggerty used the distraction to bend down and pocket the keycard, mindful that having touched it with his glove it was now potentially toxic. The vehicle pulled in almost at their feet, and a moment later its doors extended upward, the BBI logo clearly displayed. Elsa stepped from the driver’s side, with Corbin emerging from the passenger door, her uniform half unfastened against the rising heat, revealing more of her ample cleavage than was professional. Woyzeck gave the exposed flesh a fleeting glance, then turned to Haggerty.

“They with you?”

Haggerty nodded. “Give me a second alone with them. The new kid’s a little green about procedure.”

“Sure thing,” Woyzeck said with a wink. “I gotta go wash my hands, remember? But call me later.”

They watched Corbin and Elsa trot to the lip of the stage and bound up and onto their level.

“You got it,” Haggerty told Woyzeck as the others arrived. Woyzeck nodded to Corbin, then stepped away to the nearest M.T. unit to clean his hands before overseeing the removal of the second body, a teen with a shock of blue hair in a white pleather jacket with CLONE JESUS embroidered in red on the back.

“I want this assignment,” Corbin told Haggerty.

“It’s my assignment,” Haggerty stated flatly.

I tried to stop her from coming, Elsa linked to him. But she’s been cleared by the Director.

“I’ve got training in youth counsel,” Corbin retorted, turning to survey the stage. “And you don’t.”

“There aren’t any youths to counsel,” Haggerty said.

“Maybe not here, but less than twenty minutes ago there was another press — a teenage girl, right in front of the viewscreen as her parents watched. And that’s my assignment.”

Sounds like a copycat, Haggerty thought. While it was ridiculous for Corbin to assert that the connection justified her taking over the triple press, it was sufficient for Haggerty to let her in on it in a subordinate position.

But Corbin wasn’t finished. “I believe your little cryppie’s got inside information. Remember this?”

Corbin held up a crumpled piece of paper. Haggerty recognized the Java Joint logo and Regina’s hand-drawn timeline of Old Testament names. He tried to mask his surprise as he reached for Regina’s discarded napkin.

Corbin pulled it back and folded it into her jacket. “You’re not the only one with a taste for the finer things in life,” she said.

Haggerty handed Elsa the minthizine case with the girl’s unit and told her to retrieve the other two after making sure that the bodies had been moved and the units remained where they’d fallen.

“I don’t know what you were doing at the Java Joint or why you swiped that from my table,” he told Corbin, “but the person you refer to as my cryppie has no connection to what happened here.”

“What do you know about her?” Corbin said smugly. Clearly she had information and intended to make him ask for it.

“Not a lot,” he said. “We only met a few hours ago. What makes you think she’s involved?” Brief as the time he’d spent with her had been, he couldn’t believe Regina had anything to do with this tragedy.

Corbin produced a photograph of the protesters Haggerty had encountered that morning outside BBI. There was Regina, standing next to the girl who had moments earlier lain dead on the stage at his feet. Both girls had their arms raised in protest.

“Like it or not I’m in on this one,” Corbin stated. “And we’d better get answers off those KV’s fast before any more go off. The Dragon’s authorized a media conference in one hour.”

Elsa stepped up. “Do you want to review here?” she asked Haggerty.

“Yes,” Corbin answered.

Elsa ignored her, awaiting Haggerty’s instructions. Corbin glared at his assistant.

God bless whoever forgot to remove Elsa’s chip, Haggerty thought. Sixty years ago, review agents working with the first androids assigned to BBI discovered that their new assistants were frighteningly narrow in interpreting company policy and frighteningly zealous in enforcing it. After a few “unfortunate accidents,” the union demanded the installation of Personal Loyalty Chips to combat the problem. Ultimately, design improvements and continuous upgrades rendered the chips unnecessary and BBI directed that all PLCs be removed. It was hardly Haggerty’s fault that a clerical error incorrectly recorded the removal of Elsa’s chip.

“I don’t want to do the review here,” Haggerty said. “We need someplace more private.”

* * *

Excerpt from The Killswitch Review, published by Yard Dog Press. Copyright 2011 Steven-Elliot Altman.

Steven-Elliot Altman is a bestselling author, screenwriter, and videogame developer. He won multiple awards for his online role playing game, 9Dragons. His novels include Captain America is Dead, Zen in the Art of Slaying Vampires, Batman: Fear Itself, Batman: Infinite Mirror, The Killswitch Review, The Irregulars, and Deprivers. His writing has been compared to that of Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Michael Crichton and Philip K. Dick, and he has collaborated with world class writers such as Neil Gaiman, Michael Reaves, Harry Turtledove and Dr. Janet Asimov. He’s also the editor of the critically acclaimed anthology The Touch, and a contributor to Shadows Over Baker Street, a Hugo Award winning anthology of Sherlock Holmes meets H.P. Lovecraft stories.

Steven also bares ink on his body, and is bi, as in bi-coastal, between NYC and LA. He’s currently hard at work writing and directing his latest videogame Cursed Love, an online free to play gothic horror RPG from Dark Hermit Studios, set in Victorian London. Think Sherlock Holmes, Jack The Ripper and Dorian Gray mercilessly exploit the cast of Twilight. Friend Cursed Love (Official Closed Beta) on facebook and you can have fun playing out this tawdry, tragic romance with Steven while the game is being beta tested!

Diane DeKelb-Rittehouse spent several years in Manhattan as an actress before marrying her college sweetheart and returning to the Philadelphia area where she had been born. Diane first worked with Steven-Elliot Altman when they created the acclaimed, Publisher’s Weekly Starred-Review anthology The Touch: Epidemic of the Millennium, in which her story “Gifted” appeared. Diane has published a number of critically acclaimed short stories, most notably in the science fiction, murder, and horror genres. Her young adult fantasy novel, Fareie Rings: The Book of Forests, is now available in stores or online.

Interested in buying a printed copy of The Killswitch Review? Well, Steve’s publisher Yard Dog Press was kind enough to put up a special page where SuicideGirls can get a special discount and watch a sexy trailer. Just follow this link to KillswitchReview.com and click on the SG logo.

* * *

Related Posts:
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One, Part Four
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Two, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Two, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Two, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Three, Part One

Todd Solondz had to leave the Toronto International Film Festival early to return to one of his international teaching engagements. I saw his latest film, Dark Horse, on the second to last day of the festival, so he was not at the screening to give a Q&A in person. However, he was happy to make time... more

Todd Solondz had to leave the Toronto International Film Festival early to return to one of his international teaching engagements. I saw his latest film, Dark Horse, on the second to last day of the festival, so he was not at the screening to give a Q&A in person. However, he was happy to make time to speak by phone. Across a 15 hour time difference, his distinct voice came over the phone through a clear connection to Singapore where he is teaching a film class.
If you’ve never seen Solondz or heard him on a DVD for one of his films, it may surprise you that he has such a warm, soft spoken voice given the subjects he often deals with. He had a sympathetic child molester character in Happiness, and in Palindromes a group of religious fundamentalist killing abortion doctors, and their families in the crossfire.
Dark Horse is a comparatively less volatile film, though still deals with characters consistent with Solondz’ ouvre. Abe (Jordan Gelber) lives with his parents, collects toys and slacks off at the office job his father (Christopher Walken) gave him. Abe meets Miranda (Selma Blair) at a wedding and proposes to her after a week of awkward non-dating. He is unshakable despite Miranda’s morose apathy, not just towards him but towards life.
It’s a comedy, by the way. Those awkward interactions between Miranda and Abe, Abe’s total confidence in his lifestyle and his contentions relationships with coworkers and families remind one of Solondz’ breakthrough film Welcome to the Dollhouse. Hopefully Dark Horse will secure distribution soon so everyone can experience what Toronto got to preview at the festival.

SuicideGirls: I’m sorry I missed you in Toronto.
Todd Solondz: Ah well, but here we are. I hope the hour wasn’t too inconvenient for you.
SG: Is Dark Horse a milder film for you?
TS: Milder, I don’t know. I guess in the sense that it doesn’t contain any of the overtly controversial subject matter that many of my other films do. I guess one could characterize it that way, although I’m not sure that that’s the impression that people ultimately feel after seeing the movie.
SG: Was that your goal, to take a somewhat different approach to subject matter?
TS: Well, I just wanted to remove I think some of the kinds of so-called taboos that I’ve been associated with and felt that would feel fresh for me.
SG: Did it feel fresh in the end?
TS: Yes, I’m very pleased with the film. You always want your movie to feel fresh. It’s just at a certain point, because I realized how much controversial material had been addressed in my previous work, it got to a point where this was another way of approaching story.
SG: What do you think of this idea that in our culture today, nerds and geeks are considered cool?
TS: Well, it really depends on who’s using the word and the context in which it’s used. It can be used as a compliment of cool or it can be used derisively and disparagingly. So it really depends on from whose mouth it comes and so forth. Certainly what you’re describing is not a new phenomenon. I think they said the same thing years ago when Welcome to the Dollhouse came out.
SG: Do you think Abe mistakenly takes being a nerd as a compliment when he has some problems he’s not dealing with?
TS: Well, no one certainly calls him a nerd or a geek and I don’t think he would look at himself that way. In fact, he very clearly makes a point of separating himself from what he thinks is uncool. So on the one hand there is a certain I think lack of awareness of his social status at the same time that he is only too keenly aware of it.
SG: He has a surprising amount of confidence for someone who lives at home and isn’t very ambitious.
TS: Sometimes that confidence also can be just a front. It’s really cockiness I think that camouflages some more internal vulnerabilities and how wounded he is.
SG: When he goes to the toy store, the outdoor sign is blurred. Did you have to obscure the
Toys R Us logo or was that a joke?
TS: No, it is funny but it was required to the extent that I was not allowed to use their logo. They didn’t want to be associated with a movie that I directed, but I didn’t want to create a fake name of a toy store and I felt audiences are certainly used to the blurring effect from reality TV so it lends a certain authenticity. Obviously it harkens back to the requirement that I use a red box 10 years ago on another movie, so I suppose there is a little play there. So that was the logic behind that.
SG: It’s funny because we can obviously still tell what store it is.
TS: Maybe just by the nature of its architecture and so forth. Probably my producer would have liked me to blur it even more.
SG: How did you decide which toys Abe would be obsessed with? I noticed a lot of Simpsons toys but he makes it a point that he’s not interested in Star Trek.
TS: We first had to see what we could clear and it was based on that. I think having grown up when he did grow up, the kinds of things that he would attach himself to. In fact since my actor was that age, he was very helpful in letting me know the kinds of things that would be deemed cool or not.
SG: One thing I feel I haven’t seen on film before is hearing the noises of an online chat through a telephone. Did you want to comment on our tendency to multitask and have multiple conversations simultaneously?
TS: I think certainly it’s an indicator of how uncompelled certainly Miranda was at that moment by the phone call that she got from Abe. But I think that this is, I imagine, a common enough aspect of living with the computer, IM, cell phone, tech system that we live in today.
SG: And it was surreal to see Abe watching pre-movie slides in a movie theater, within a movie. What were your thoughts on including that?
TS: That was fun. I did want to of course by the framing and so forth give a certain kind of meta movie experience, that you’re watching a movie within a movie as if you’re in the theater watching what Abe is experiencing and make you connect in that way to it. I almost felt the shot of him rattling off the answers to these scrambled celebrity stars, I could almost have pulled that out and just extended that for a long time. It would have been very pleasurable but there was only so much I could do given the story requirements.
SG: How did you cast Jordan Gelber?
TS: He had auditioned for my last movie and then I’d seen him in a Mike Leigh play. So instinctively I had a strong sense that he would be most suitable for the part. The question was whether I’d be able to cast an unknown. Obviously ultimately I was able to but there was a lot of pressure on me to cast a name. The names were all very talented and so forth but I felt either too old, too young, too soft, just not quite as suitable as I felt Jordan was.
SG: What are your distribution hopes after Toronto?
TS: I know that as we speak, I think the producers are deciding. I don’t even know the details but something will be worked out. We’ll find out soon enough. I just haven’t been in touch with him. I know he’s e-mailed and said he’s just in the midst of negotiating with different people.
SG: How was your experience as a filmmaker at the festival?
TS: It’s always an honor to be part of these festivals but of course my time at these festivals is primarily solely taken up with doing interviews to help support the film. So I never really see movies at festivals. I wait until they come out in the theater.
SG: Does that audience get you?
TS: They seemed very responsive when I was there. It’s always hard to evaluate and gauge these things. If they didn’t like it, they certainly were very polite about it.
SG: You’ve been able to put a lot of alternative images of women in films, whether it’s Heather Matarazzo or all the women in Palindromes. Is that something you would like to continue exploring in film?
TS: I just take it one at a time. I see dramatically what I need and what I’m looking for. That’s what dictates the casting process. I don’t have any calculated plans as to a certain type or a style of performance.
SG: Has Selma Blair been a kindred spirit in your films?
TS: I love working with Selma. Of course she’s a wonderful actress with so much untapped potential that I hope audiences get to see more of. We feel very happy I think and comfortable working with each other.
SG: Are your films still controversial?
TS: To the extent that I always get a divided response, I suppose you could say yes. It’s just the nature of the controversy may change from film to film.
SG: Would Happiness still be as controversial today?
TS: All of my films have in some sense divided audiences because in some sense they’re all fraught with ambiguity. It’s a tricky line that they navigate and audiences often are on one or either side of the fence.
SG: Do you look in the news for topics that could be interesting issues for a film?
TS: No. I mean, I read what goes on out there on a regular basis and it’s possible that certain things may pique my interest and something may evolve from that, but I don’t look for ideas. As you get older, you seem to just get more ideas. It’s just you have to figure out how to make them compelling stories that people want to see and that people want to put money into.
SG: As a teacher, what do you like to impart to your film students?
TS: Gee, I try to be straightforward about my feelings about their work. Film school, like any other school, is a way of growing up and finding out who you are as a filmmaker and as a person.
SG: Do you focus on film theory?
TS: I don’t approach things from any theoretical standpoint. I’m much more pragmatic and approach things really from the nature of story itself.
SG: Who are some of the new filmmakers who excite you?
TS: New, there are so many talented filmmakers. Who’s new? I just don’t keep track who is the newest. Certainly Kelly Reichardt is not new but in the last few years she has gotten a lot more attention. I‘m of course a great admirer of hers.
SG: How much time do you have to watch movies when you’re making movies and teaching?
TS: Where there’s a will, there’s a way. I don’t have as much time as I did when I was younger and could spend my weekends watching double or triple bills, but I manage to keep up with what most intrigues me.
SG: What is your writing schedule?
TS: It’s always erratic. It doesn’t take so long to actually write it. It takes a certain amount of time to commit oneself to writing it and to puzzling it out. I don’t have any recommendation. Everyone works in his own peculiar way I suppose but in some sense they all take 30 years to write. It’s life experience that informs so much of what you do. The writing itself, not so long.
SG: Some writers are structured 9 to 5ers and others are more free flowing.
TS: I’ll have to be more in the latter category.
SG: As important as life experience is, how do you spend your time when you’re not working on films or teaching films?
TS: Well, I have family. There are always things to ponder and read and write and so forth. That fills it more beyond the brim I think.
SG: Since you teach abroad, how do you find the filmmaking community around the world?
TS: The nonstudio filmmakers are having a tough time of it because of not the economic turmoil which I think is global right now. It’s not that per se but living in a time when there’s the internet and cable TV and Netflix and downloading and piracy and so forth that ultimately eat into the budgets of these independently made films. So they’re grim times but somehow movies still get made. They’re just getting made for less money.
SG: Could it be a good thing that there are more avenues for exhibiting films, whether YouTube or streaming?
TS: There’s a plus and a minus to all of it. Certainly the technology that’s developed over the last decade or so has made making films much more economical and economically viable than they’ve been in the past. To get the kinds of distribution I think people would like to have becomes much more competitive in this economic climate.

by Brad Warner A guy named Brian who posts on my blog (hardcorezen.blogspot.com) asked: Most people interpret this story as saying that the master imagined watching a boat race and Sanzo guessed it, then the master imagined watching a monkey and Sanzo guessed it, then the master put himself in some... more

by Brad Warner

A guy named Brian who posts on my blog (hardcorezen.blogspot.com) asked:

Around the same time I got a message from one of my Facebook friends mentioning this video by Ken Wilber:



In case you can’t view it, this is a video of the uber-spiritual wonderman Ken Wilber hooking himself up to a machine that supposedly demonstrates how he can voluntarily stop his brainwaves.

This stuff kind of reminds me of juggling.

When I lived in Santa Monica, I used to walk down to Venice Beach on weekends. There would always be lots of talented people on the boardwalk doing various tricks for chump change from tourists. One of these guys was a juggler. He was absolutely amazing. He had this trick where he’d climb up on a balance board on top of a top of a rickety wooden ladder and juggle like five butcher’s knives, all while making clever jokes at his own expense. It was astounding. Take a look:



Like most people on the boardwalk, I’d watch his act, be amazed and then put a dollar or two in the bucket he passed around at the end. I was a local, and hence a cheapskate. Maybe the tourists slipped him fives and tens. Or maybe some of them were cheaper than me and just threw in quarters.

I’ve done twenty plus years of daily zazen meditation, plus more intensive retreats than I care to remember. Having been through some interesting scenes during practice I can understand how one could use meditation practice to learn to do some pretty impressive tricks. I personally could not sit still while I was on fire and I doubt I could wire myself up to an EEG and make the indicators do whatever I wanted. But I can see clearly how that could be done.

Let me try to explain what I mean by saying I can “see clearly.” It’s like if you learned to juggle three tennis balls. Having done that, you’d be able to understand clearly how you might eventually be able to sit on a balance board on top of a rickety ladder and juggle knives. I’m not talking here about comprehending something intellectually as a concept. Anyone can do that. You’d have to at least accomplish three tennis balls at once before you could truly get a handle on how juggling knives isn’t as superhuman as it seems to people like me who can’t even juggle one tennis ball. There’s a kind of body/mind comprehension that goes beyond just getting something as an idea.

Having understood how you might one day be able to juggle knives on a balance board, you’d have to ask yourself if it was worth it. It would take years of tremendous dedication to accomplish such a trick and you’d have to forgo a lot of other things in life just to devote yourself to the task. So you’d either have to really, really, really, really want to juggle knives. Or else you’d have to have some other motive, like believing that if you could juggle knives on a balance board you might be able to join Cirque du Soleil and make a living at it. Either way, you’d need some kind of motivation.

The problem I have with Ken Wilber, as well as others like him, is all about motivation. Ken Wilber seems to imply that his accomplishments indicate that his meditation is somehow qualitatively better than other peoples’ and that without such accomplishments “something is missing” as Brian my commenter asked. While I admit these accomplishments do indicate a commitment to something, I’m not sure it’s something I’m interested in committing to.

To me, Wilber’s goal in meditation appears to be to get more advanced at it than anyone else in the world and to be known for having done so. It’s very competitive. This assumption appears to be borne out by the comment I received when I said that I thought Wilber’s trick with the brainwave machine looked phony.

“Brad, just because you can't do it doesn't mean it's fake,” said the commenter. True enough. Maybe he actually is going into Nirvikalpa Samadhi, whatever the blazes that is. It might not be a fake. But it’s the “just because you can’t do it” part that’s telling.

Wilber may say he doesn’t intend people to take it this way. But that would be disingenuous. He knows full well people are going to take it this way. The message my commenter got is, “Ken Wilber is a better meditator than Brad Warner.” It’s the kind of message I’m sure most people take away from Wilber’s various demonstrations of power.

If meditation is a competition, I don’t want to play that game. But it’s not. So I meditate.

In the case of those Vietnamese monks who burned themselves, they appear to me to be deeply confused people. When I see that damned video I just get incredibly angry and sad. What a fucking waste. What they did amounted to the most macho display of macho-ism ever. What could be more macho than burning yourself alive and not flinching? The fact that you actually had to die to prove how macho you were just makes you that much more macho.

If what they did had actually made any difference in the war, maybe I’d think differently. Sadly, I don’t think their tragic wasteful ugly deaths did anything to stop the war in Vietnam. They could have done a lot more by staying alive and working for peace.

I’ve seen enough in my own personal practice to be quite convinced that I could do a lot of impressive things with this practice if I wanted to direct my efforts that way. But why would I do so? I can’t think of any compelling reason to pursue such things. It would take a lot of hard, hard effort. It doesn’t seem worthwhile to me at all. I’m not interested in being macho. I don’t need to display my meditative achievements to the world.

Which is not me saying I’m better than those guys because I don’t want these things. It’s just a fact. I don’t have the desire. Being better has nothing to do with it. You can put in all that effort and still end up as confused as anyone else. It looks like a big waste of time to me and I don’t have time to waste.

There is a certain class of people who enjoy bragging about their supposed spiritual accomplishments. They’ve been around for a long time. But the truth is most of us who meditate don’t learn to do tricks. And if we do, we generally keep it to ourselves.

Dogen, the 12th century monk who founded the sect of Buddhism in which I practice (and who was also the loose basis for a character on the TV show LOST), tells a story about people who brag about their spiritual accomplishments:

Most people interpret this story as saying that the master imagined watching a boat race and Sanzo guessed it, then the master imagined watching a monkey and Sanzo guessed it, then the master put himself in some kind of formless Samadhi (perhaps like the one Ken Wilber supposedly enters in the video) and Sanzo couldn’t see it because he wasn’t as advanced as the master. The master wins and Sanzo loses. One traditional interpretation Dogen sites says, “The first two times the master’s mind is concerned with external circumstances; then he enters the samadhi of receiving and using the self, and so Sanzo does not see him.”

But Dogen begs to differ. It isn’t about what sort of mental states the master enters. And it has nothing at all to do with winning and losing. First off, Dogen points out that the National Master never actually says Sanzo got it right the first two times. Then he goes a little deeper.

Dogen says, “The National Master’s words ‘Where is the old monk just now?’ are as if to ask ‘What is the old monk?’ ‘Where is the old monk just now?’ asks ‘Just now is what kind of moment?’ To ask ‘where is (the old monk)’ asserts that ‘This place is where something ineffable exists.’”

In other words the master is not asking Sanzo to read his mind. He is asking Sanzo to tell him where the real person who stands in front of him in this concrete reality (i.e. the National Master) is right now. He wants Sanzo to tell him what this real world is. He wants to help Sanzo see what is actual.

Sanzo has only succeeded in demonstrating a parlor trick — if, indeed, he has even demonstrated that much. He never gives any indication that he really understands the fundamental nature of reality.

It annoys me to see someone like Ken Wilber who does tricks — ones that nobody can ever even verify he’s accomplished, by the way — make tons more money than that street juggler down on Venice Beach who does something far cooler. I guess people are impressed by imaginary stuff.

I don’t see any great value in most of what passes for “altered states of consciousness.” Every possible state of altered consciousness is contained within this state of consciousness you possess right at this very moment.

It’s true we are evolutionarily developed to filter consciousness in a particular way. And most of us assume that this particular way is the only way available. There are methods by which you can learn to filter your consciousness in different ways. And perhaps there is some minor value in knowing that there are other ways of filtering things. But it’s just another sort of filter. It’s the difference between looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses and looking at the world through green-tinted glasses. You’re not getting the true picture either way.

So maybe Ken Wilber really can trance out on Delta waves. I’m more impressed with the guy who can juggle butcher’s knives on a balance board. Look at both videos. Honestly, which one is more impressive to you?

***

Brad is on tour right now and may be in your area. To see where Brad will be speaking next take a look here.

Brad Warner is the author of Sex, Sin and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between as well as Hardcore Zen, Sit Down and Shut Up! and Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate. He maintains a blog about Buddhist stuff that you can click here to see.

You can also buy T-shirts and hoodies based on his books, and the new CD by his band Zero Defex now!

***

Related Posts:
Brad Warner's Hardcore Zen: Secure Your Mask Before Helping Others
Brad Warner's Hardcore Zen: Uninvited To The Buddhist Party
Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: Win A Date With Brad Warner!!!
Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: The End of the World As We Know It
Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: Meditation, Depression and the Sense of Self
Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: How To Make A Zen Monster
Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: Living Simply
Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: I Resent My High School

(image) by Blogbot (image) Artist / SG Member Name: CREATIVE80 Mission Statement: I guess that as an “artist” I have not really considered a mission statement as such. I work as a commercial artist all day. My job is in advertising and marketing and I create designs and illustrations for other people... more

by Blogbot



Artist / SG Member Name: CREATIVE80

Mission Statement: I guess that as an “artist” I have not really considered a mission statement as such. I work as a commercial artist all day. My job is in advertising and marketing and I create designs and illustrations for other people –– to their brief and their whims –– so when I get a chance I like to create work for myself using subjects that interest me. When I first started to create art and exhibit I was at university and working with a very talented friend of mine. I was designing work on the computer and he would then take that and re-paint it on to canvas by hand. We exhibited these in bars and shops around Bristol (UK), which was always fun to see. Since then I have continued to create slightly strange and surreal work but keep it purely digital, along with portraits and images using more traditional methods.



Medium: I work in a range of styles and mediums, from vector based digital work to more traditional pen and ink.


Aesthetic: I guess I have a few aesthetic styles, but they range from the bright and colorful digital work to the darker pen and ink portraits.










Notable Achievements: Exhibiting work in the bars in Bristol was always fun to see on a night out (but that was a good few years ago now). As far as my more commercial illustration work goes, I did my first magazine cover last year and first US based commission this year.

Why We Should Care: My work comes from my head and is created by me, so you won't find it exactly the same anywhere else.


I Want Me Some: At the moment I’m not really selling individual pieces, but am open for commissions and projects to get involved in. You can find me via my website and on Twitter.









***

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The Venture Bros. has since its 2003 debut been one of the best, and most under-appreciated, shows on television. Airing on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim block, the show began as a parody of (and tribute to) Jonny Quest, and other ‘60s space age adventure shows. However, it quickly developed its own... more

The Venture Bros. has since its 2003 debut been one of the best, and most under-appreciated, shows on television. Airing on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim block, the show began as a parody of (and tribute to) Jonny Quest, and other ‘60s space age adventure shows. However, it quickly developed its own mythology and a massive cast of characters representing everyone from David Bowie to Spiderman. Only four seasons of the show have eked out so far, but hopefully the recent Shallow Gravy special represents progress toward bringing us more. SuicideGirls recently spoke with the series’ creators, pseudonymously known as Jackson Publick and Doc Hammer, about the show, the special, and the possibility of season five.

Keith Daniels: It sounded like you guys were talking about SuicideGirls when I cut in.

Jackson Publick: Yeah, yeah. We were talking about how we’ve name-dropped your site twice.

Doc Hammer: We’ve said “suicide girls” twice on Venture Bros.

KD: You two write and direct the show and do practically all the voices yourselves. Would you do it that way again if you had to make a new show?

DH: Would we be as hands-on as we are?

JP: Probably. [Laughs]

DH: It’s nothing we set out to do in the first place. It turned into this because we’re both control freaks. We’re good at what we do, so we took on a lot of responsibilities, and I think it worked. We think the success of the show has a lot to do with Jackson and I really molly-coddling this crap.

KD: What happened with World Leaders Entertainment recently and moving over to Titmouse?

JP: They [World Leaders] went out of business.

KD: Any more detail than that?

JP: Nah, the economy hit hard. Whatever happened. They didn’t have enough projects to stay afloat, and we weren’t going to be coming back for a while. They folded like many animation studios in New York have.

KD: Will fans of the show notice a difference as far as it coming from a different studio?

DH: I doubt it very much.

JP: I doubt it, because we’re just in pre-production [of the new season]. This new studio did it completely in-house, but we’re going to do the series the same way we always have.

DH: If anybody notices a difference, it’ll be because they’re looking for a difference. Like when a bands puts out a record and it’s called ‘a complete sell-out’ and ‘garbage’, and then you listen to it ten years later and it’s great.

JP: They’ve noticed a difference and said something about every season we’ve put out. Every new season we try to up the animation ante. I’ve seen message board complaints about CG Hank.

DH: Yeah, we’re totally lame for trying to get the animation to look the way it does in our heads. We’re huge sellouts.

JP: [Laughs]

KD: I can think of a record like that. The Replacements Don’t Tell A Soul.

DH: They’re all sell-outs! Every Pixies album was a ‘sellout’. Speak to anybody of any generation and they’ll tell you [something like], “Aw man, Led Zeppelin III was such a sellout.” I have a question for you, Keith. If you’re a Replacements fan, were you disappointed by Let It Be?

KD: No way. I love all their records, even All Shook Down. I like Paul Westerberg’s solo stuff.

DH: It’s beautiful. They’re masterpieces. But a lot of people were let down by that [Let It Be] because even though they had songs that talked about other bands selling out, it was a very grand record. Anyway, sorry.

KD: The Venture Bros really allows you guys to do anything you want. Is that sort of open-ended freedom ever a challenge?

DH: We can’t do anything we want. There are a lot of things that the show doesn’t accommodate. We can’t afford to use every song we want. We don’t understand parody law so we can’t talk about everything we want.

JP: We can only get a certain number of backgrounds and locations in every episode, because that’s how fast people can draw. It makes us have to self-edit more. It forces us to keep in mind what our show is and should be about, and not necessarily go down every road that seems interesting.

KD: You two pretty much alternate writing episodes. Do you also alternately play the foil, in terms of keeping each other in check, for the episodes the other person wrote?

JP: I think whatever the other person wrote, that’s the next guy’s jumping off point and you pursuit the new angle. We’re usually refreshed and appreciative that somebody found a new angle on something that makes a character you were bored of more fun, or whatever.

DH: Sometimes Jackson will pull me back or we’ll push each other around, or whatever. Sometimes I pull him forward. We trade off. But yeah, we do kind of push each other around in the universe.

KD: The mythology of the show has gotten increasingly dense over the years, with the OSI, Sphinx, etc. Does that density make it difficult for people who’ve never seen the show before to jump in on, say, season five?

DH: I honestly think the show is so much about character development and interpersonal relationships that all the mythos is just to make it seem more plausible, and to give diehard viewers something to grab onto and deal with. I think you can jump in at any point and enjoy yourself.

JP: I think we try to not go too far up our own asses, or at least not for very long. We do try to make things a little self-explanatory sometimes. But I think the series started with you feeling like you were dropped into the middle of it.

KD: Why start the new season with this Shallow Gravy special?

DH: We’re not really starting the new season. We’re bridging the gap between the two seasons with something tangential.

JP: It’s just something that was fun to do. The new season probably won’t be hitting the air for a while. A little aperitif.

KD: “Hey, don’t forget about us.”?

DH: That wasn’t the intention. [Laughs] It was just, “Hey, we want to do this stupid little thing,” and we could do it quickly.

JP: It includes a lot of the elements of our show. There’s even mild plot development in it, so it’s not completely against the Venture Bros., but it’s its own thing.

KD: What inspired the character of Dermot? I think everybody has known a guy exactly like him. Who was he for you?

DH: Jackson had a Dermot and I had a Ficktel [sp]. He’s actually an amalgamation of both of our bullies.

KD: It seems like everybody had that friend growing up that you think, “Why did I even hang out with that guy? I didn’t even like him!”

JP: That’s exactly why we wanted to write that guy, because we hadn’t seen him on TV, but we’ve all met him.

DH: Yeah, you know the answer better than we do. Everybody has a Dermot in their lives, and Hank has Dermot.

KD: What’s going to happen with Hatred in the next season? At the end of season four it seemed like he was running off with Princess Littlefeet. And it also seemed to hint that Henchman 21 was going to flip to the good guy side.

JP: You will have to wait and see.

DH: We left it with a lot of change, and we’re still playing with all that change. Sometimes changing something that went haywire like it did makes it feel like it went back to how it was. So instead of big changes there’s a lot of resetting back to, “Go,” you know what I mean? We’re playing with that idea.

KD: One of my favorite running gags is the kind of.. obscure cocktails..

Both: [Laughing hard]

KD: ... like the ‘Sam in a Sweater’ or the ‘Hot Mommy’. Things like that.

JP: ‘Hot Mummy’, yeah.

DH: That’s one of our favorite gags. We keep doing that. We’ve done it already and we just started writing.

KD: Where did that idea come from?

JP: I don’t know. I dropped that into a super early one. Everything about Dr. Venture is kind of dated. Old clothes and stuff like that.

DH: He considers himself a mixologist. He’s not just a guy who has weird taste in drinks. He thinks that he’s an epicurean and that he can create these delicious [inaudible]

JP: We spent like a good three hours making up names [for cocktails] like that a few months ago, didn’t we?

DH: Yeah, we did!

JP: Because we looked on Wikipedia at like real cocktails and we found out that some of them are worse than anything Dr. Venture could come up with, and they have, like, quinine in them.

DH: [To me] So, I’m glad that you saw that too. That’s one of our favorite things about Dr. Venture, that he has a mixed drink thing.

KD: I love that you’re talking about characters like Dr. Venture as if they were a real person. Is that how you think about them?

JP: Absolutely.

DH: Oh yeah. Every one of these people, there’s such a fully realized version of them in our head. That’s where the respectful writing comes from. We really do think of these people as people and understand them really well. There are things that each one of them does that the others don’t do.

JP: Most of them are aspects of ourselves or perceptions of other people, you know? 

KD: Season four had a lot of guest voice actors, like Kevin Conroy, Patton Oswalt, Bill Hader. Do you have any lined up for new stuff? Will Bill Hader be coming back as Professor Impossible?

DH: We really hope so!

JP: As soon as we write an episode with Professor Impossible we’ll know. We had a really good time with him and he seemed to have a really good time with us, so I hope he comes back if he’s not too busy. And that we have something good for him to read. As far as casting anybody else, it depends on what new characters we come up with, and what voices -- in our heads -- that character demands. We make a lot of permanent characters out of guys we think are one-offs on this show, so if you hire somebody famous to do it it makes it trickier to bring the character back.

KD: Do you have any idea in mind when we might see a new season?

JP: I would say this time next year, is probably a fair guess considering where we’re at in the writing and production.

KD: How many hours of work is involved in one 22-minute episode?

JP: Oh my god. [Laughs]

DH: It’s incalculable. From when we start the production to when the episodes leave Astro-Base to go on the air there’s not really a second where we’re not dealing with the show.

JP: Yeah. Every script is like day-and-night writing for three weeks or a month or something like that. Three weeks if you actually know what story you’re going to tell, a month if you’re figuring out along the way.

DH: You insult me!

JP: [Laughs] When we were in full production I was working 60, 70, 80 hours a week, and also the weekends and everything for nine months straight. Then it would lighten up for me when we were editing the shows, but that’s when it would get heavy for Doc.

KD: Do you ever wonder how Trey Parker and Matt Stone have managed to do so many seasons of South Park?

JP: I do. I do wonder that. I know they have writing help. I know they have a crazy pipeline of re-use stuff. A giant render farm and everything. But I still wonder how they do it in a week.

DH: I’m not amazed that they do it in a week. I’m amazed that they do with such consistent quality. That show hasn’t slacked off at all. So kudos, they make a fucking brilliant, fantastic TV show. And they do it quick. They are better than us, apparently.

JP: [Laughs]

KD: Music has always been a big part of the Venture Bros. Just in the last season you have the song when the Monarch got his rocket sled, Dr. Venture trying to write a musical, the “Jacket” song, things like that. Is that one of your favorite parts of the show?
DH: It’s one of our favorite parts of life, period. Jackie and I just love music. It just gets stuck in there. It’s a part of our world, so it’s a part of their world.

JP: Yeah. That said, last season was an uncommonly musical season.

(image) by Blogbot (image) (image) (image) (image) (image) Bella (a.k.a. Bella Booski, Kangaroo, Portabella, and Bella Boobies) the Chihuahua/Papillon (pictured with her mistress Kraven Suicide) INTO: Bones, food and lots of it, growling at someone one minute and then being their best friend the next,... more

by Blogbot











Bella (a.k.a. Bella Booski, Kangaroo, Portabella, and Bella Boobies) the Chihuahua/Papillon (pictured with her mistress Kraven Suicide)

• INTO: Bones, food and lots of it, growling at someone one minute and then being their best friend the next, playing with ping pong balls, bones, going for walks, being outside, bones, cuddling, licking faces, did I mention bones?


• NOT INTO: Loud noises (such as fireworks and the vacuum), going to the vet, any other dog being near my Mommy.


• MAKES ME HAPPY: Getting new toys, dinner time, getting attention, meeting new people, getting pampered with a bath and hair drying, McDonald's French fries, and car rides.


• MAKES ME SAD: When my mommy leaves to go to work, when I do not get to sleep on the bed, when I lose my toys.


• HOBBIES: Looking cute so Mommy can't tell me no (I have perfected it!), being a princess, doing dog things –– you know, tug-a-war, day dreaming about chasing squirrels, slobbering.


• 5 THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT: Food, food, food, food, and food. Ok fine...well maybe also my favorite mitten toy, and water.


• VICES: Laying on pillows when I think people have left the room –– when no one is watching, or so I think. I always try to eat out of everyone else's food dish. Scavenging the floor like a vacuum for any crumbs someone might have dropped. Whining two hours before it is time to eat because I am a fatty and think I can eat whenever I want. Destroying toys within the first 5 minutes of getting them. Rolling around in the mud when it rains.


• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Sleeping, wagging my tail, giving kisses, and being cute.

by Floydian There are many milestones one encounters in life when heading down the road to becoming a daily user of marijuana. The first time you ever smoked. That first trip to the head shop to buy your own pipe. Which would inevitably be followed by the first time your parent's found your pipe;... more

by Floydian

There are many milestones one encounters in life when heading down the road to becoming a daily user of marijuana. The first time you ever smoked. That first trip to the head shop to buy your own pipe. Which would inevitably be followed by the first time your parent's found your pipe; Who could have imagined your mom could have penetrated the impregnable fortress of the back of your underwear drawer, right?

The only thing worse than mom and dad finding your Zig Zags is the first time your parent's found your stash. That's the "Oh, shit!" moment. You’re thinking, "Oh, shit! I'm, so busted!" Your parents are thinking, "Oh, shit! Do I still have the record player and that Dark Side of the Moon album?"

Outwardly, they must punish you and explain that drugs are bad, have no positive role in society, and will be a dead end in your life. But on the inside, they are secretly waiting for your next sleepover at a friend’s house so they can re-live their glory days, thanks to your freshly confiscated grass. In reality, the legal status of marijuana is the only thing stopping a majority of parents out there from enjoying it in their free time.


[Lainey in Hail The Leaf]

But what about when you’re an adult and have kids of your own? Now how do your feelings change about marijuana use? I've been a daily user of marijuana for years and years, but when I think about my own child using marijuana, I'm not sure how I feel. I don't have any children of my own, but I hope to one day.

It's hard to imagine getting mad at them for using pot, but it's also hard to imagine not caring about it either. In college, I seemed to always be the more responsible person in my group of friends. Meaning I never lost my license or life due to driving under the influence of alcohol, and was never arrested or put in jail. But I definitely wasn't a perfect student by any means. I think at that time I let pot influence my life more than I do now.

I feel that as my own personal and work responsibilities became greater, I was forced to focus more on that and less on marijuana. But everyone needs a way to relax at the end of the day, and, more often than not, a hot vaporizer and some tasty herb is my preferred method. Would that all change if I have little ones running around the house?

I still remember the first time I ever smoked with a parent. It was my girlfriend's mom in college. She had been divorced from her father for many years at that point. My girlfriend and I were watching a movie with her mom, and she got up to go get a beer. When she came back to the couch, she sat down and pulled out this little black, metal pipe and just started smoking. My girlfriend and I looked at each other and our eyes just got huge, like, what is happening??

"Hey, you guys want some," her mom asks.

"Uh, sure, mom," she replies.

Then we all just sat around and keep watching the movie, as if nothing ever happened. In fact, I don't think it was ever really mentioned again, nor did it happen again. It was so weird, yet something about how casual the whole situation was made it no big deal at all.

It's hard for me to imagine being so cavalier with marijuana use around my own kids. What would I do if my kids asked me about it or asked if I ever used it? I wouldn't want to give them the impression that there are no possible negative effects, but I also wouldn't want them to think there are no positive aspects either.

Now that one of my college stoner buds has a mother dying of pancreatic cancer, he has tried to get her to use marijuana to ease her pain and increase her appetite as she continues to lose weight. For months she fought him on it, because of a bad experience she had with it when she was 14. Finally after trying it, her pain was not as intense, she had an appetite again, and she was able to eat more than she had in months. It was the first time he had ever used marijuana with his parents and, thanks to the positive results she experienced, it won't be the last.

My own parents know of my marijuana use, and while they don't approve or agree with it, they don't hate on me too much for it either. I end up the butt of stoner jokes from time to time, but I can deal with that. Still I wonder what it will be like when I smell that familiar scent coming from my kid's room one day. What will I say to them?

One thing is for sure, I can't wait to confiscate their bag so I can compare it to mine and make sure I'm still getting the best shit it town.


Those with an interest in combustible culture may want to hit SG’s 420 Group. Come on in and roll up a fattie!

(image) by Laurelin God damn this blinking cursor in front of me, mocking me. Usually a blank page sits in front of me and I feel calm, able to take a deep breath and start over with a refined touch and total control over my words. But not lately. Now I feel so much anger and hurt that I can’t even... more

by Laurelin

God damn this blinking cursor in front of me, mocking me. Usually a blank page sits in front of me and I feel calm, able to take a deep breath and start over with a refined touch and total control over my words. But not lately. Now I feel so much anger and hurt that I can’t even see anything besides a black swirl, all my words pouring jumbled out of my bloodshot eyes. I’m tired. I’m tired of working six nights a week and two days, sometimes having a day off here and there to fulfill an obligation to someone else rather than myself. Rushing to the train, rushing to the next state, rushing to meet a deadline when all I want to do is collapse. I am just exhausted. And no one is here to catch me as I’m falling to sleep. No one is there when I wake up. How can someone be in a relationship and still feel so alone?

I always tell my friends that as happy as I am with this new guy, I can’t help but have this sinking feeling that it’s just going in a really odd direction. I spend a lot more time feeling alone, lonely and missing him, than I do happily next to him. Working at the bar doesn’t really allow much time for dating. We got to know one another at work. We talk about bartending. We talk about booze. We drink beer. We stay up late and drink. I wonder what would happen if someone removed beer and the bar. We would have…Nothing. Which means that essentially, we have nothing to stand on -- it’s just liquid to stand in. It’s horrible to even type, but it’s been filling my head lately that what I have is simply nothing at all.

I got drunk the other night after my shift while he was working and with a little bit of liquid courage down the hatch I gave him a quick quiz. “We’ve been dating for three months,” I said. “What’s my favorite color?” He looked confused.

“Uh… red?” He said.

“No. It’s pink. But I guess you wouldn’t know that,” I said, turning up my nose. He looked baffled for a minute and then wandered off. I dropped the subject.

I try, I really do. What days off do we both have this week? Maybe we can fit in lunch one day before we go to work. For some reason, nothing ever seems to work besides work. How is it possible that one person in a relationship can be happy with only sharing smirks over a beer tap or holding hands after I finish day bar in the brief time before he comes on to work the night shift? Don’t people need to have sex, sleep in, go see movies, go to dinner, meet each other’s families? I can feel myself getting weaker, becoming someone who chases after someone else, and I can taste bile rising in the back of my throat -- that girl makes me sick. I shouldn’t have to chase after anyone to spend time with me, especially someone who calls themselves my boyfriend. How did this happen? How did I become this person and how do I get rid of it? Make her go AWAY. This girl is not me.

Part of me just has to laugh about all of this. I was in a relationship and not the happiest. I got dumped, I was sad. I found the silver lining, started dating, met idiots. Met an idiot that I liked. Thought he was different, new relationship, new problems, not the happiest. Damn you bar scene, damn you. My head is spinning, and I keep thinking back to a few weeks ago when my roommate and I went to go see a psychic. I don’t really believe in that junk –– fate, dead spirits and energies and all that –– but I don’t exactly not believe in it either. So, if for $30 someone can talk to me about stuff I don’t understand, sure, let’s have at it.

The psychic was probably just over 30, a few years older than me. She said I was creative, and that I spent too much time dwelling on past relationships and that I needed to learn to let things go. (Who doesn’t that apply to.) Then she said she didn’t really understand my current relationship. She looked confused for a minute and said, “He doesn’t know you. He thinks he does, and he thinks you’re great. And you ARE great. But…he doesn’t really know why you’re great. It’s not going to last. You’re going to end it, and you’re going to say, ‘You’re not even going to miss ME,’ and he’s going to be so upset, but you’re right.”

I hate to base my argument on why a relationship should end on something a psychic told me. But it’s like…this stranger just added a strange validation to my argument. Nothing solid to stand on, only our bar scene. Beer. Late nights. Liquid. I don’t chase after anyone, it’s not my style. Running however, that’s right up my alley, and luckily, nothing runs better than liquid.



***

Related Posts:

Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Anger and Other Mostly Useless Emotions
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: One of the Guys
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Case of the Crazies
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Unsettled
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boys of Summer
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Play On Playa'
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: How to Lose a Girl in Ten Minutes
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Naked Laurelin Reading
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Healthy Relationships are for Boring People and Other Mishaps
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Letting Go
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Does it Exist?
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The Dating Game
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: After a Few Beers Everyone Looks Good and Other Love Stories
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Getting Naked With Laurelin
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Seven Days and Seven Nights of Sobriety
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: When it’s Time to Move On
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Starting Over and Other Stupid Resolutions
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: He Broke Up with Me on a Post-it and Other Travesties
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The End of Four Loko As We Know It
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boston’s Top 5 Dives

This made my day. more

This made my day.

So, I love reading others blogs - I like to hear of other parts of the countries, ideas, thoughts, and of course lives. And there are some great bloggers on here! Who do you think are great bloggers? I always enjoy Fatality and James. Also BigPoppa.