(image) by Laurie Penny a.k.a. @PennyRed (image) [Image of Staten Island Relief Workers by Jenna Pope a.k.a. @BatmanWI] In the forty-eight hours since I landed in the United States, flying into storm-torn Brooklyn just days after a bunch of cars floated down Wall Street, nobody has mentioned the election... more

by Laurie Penny a.k.a. @PennyRed


[Image of Staten Island Relief Workers by Jenna Pope a.k.a. @BatmanWI]

In the forty-eight hours since I landed in the United States, flying into storm-torn Brooklyn just days after a bunch of cars floated down Wall Street, nobody has mentioned the election to me once. You know, the presidential election, the one that’s happening in - what is it, three days? Right now, New Yorkers have more important things on their minds.

Access to food, fuel and electricity, for a start. People who do have these things are opening up their homes to friends and strangers who don’t. Across the city, volunteers are packing cars and heading to the disaster zones of Red Hook and the Rockaway, as well as to Staten Island, the borough worst hit when Hurricane Sandy battered through to flatten homes and devastate lives.

Like I said, nobody’s talking about the election. The island I always privately think of as Starship Manhattan spent days cut off from the rest of New York state, all of the lights out for days under 34th street, basements choked with brackish water, old people stranded in their homes. There’s an actual crisis taking place: houses have been destroyed, lives lost. The eighteen-month media circus that passes for representative politics in this country seems worlds away from the women in Staten Island weeping in front of the remains of their family homes on the nightly news.

With it being practically impossible for anyone without a car and a full tank of fuel to cross the city, I’ve just come back from volunteering down the street at the Williamsburg Church emergency blood drive. Right now New York is in a blood crisis. When the hospitals were evacuated during the storm, there was no time to collect the blood left in storage banks when the power went out, and by the time they got everyone to safety, that blood had rotted. Now they need new blood desperately.

When me and my friend Veronica Varlow went down to the Church to open our veins for the cause, I was told that my tangy British blood was not acceptable because I might be riddled with mad cow disease (this from people who haven’t even read my Twitter feed). They did, however, need volunteers to help shepherd those donors who were waiting patiently in line for up to three hours to hand over pints of superior all-American hemoglobin. So, I pinned on a badge and spent a few hours buzzing around filling out forms for people, cleaning tables and chairs, handing out snacks and tea and generally making myself useful. Even doing something so small to help the people helping to rebuild the city felt powerful.

Blood: when disasters happen, I’m always struck by the readiness with which people queue up to restock the banks of blood, platelets, and plasma. In the days after September 11, 2001, the donation centers had to start turning people away, and indeed, here at the Williamsburg Church we’re doing the same thing; with the donation line already thirty people deep, we’re running around with sign-up sheets where eager donors can leave their name and number in case we need more blood tomorrow.

There’s something so tender about that impulse. Sure, it says, we could raise money or go and help pump water out of basements in the Lower East Side, but wouldn’t it be simpler just to give you this part of my own body that was pumping in my heart five minutes ago? I’m pretty sure that if the New York blood centre were to put the call out tomorrow asking people to donate a pound of flesh cut from the chest closest to the heart because someone stranded on Staten Island needs it, there’d be plenty of volunteers, and not all of them would be kinky Shakespeare fetishists.

When there’s a crisis on, people want to help. Running around with the snack basket I was reminded of the floods of volunteers who gave their time, money and expertise to the Occupy camps last year. Practical anarchism. Everyone so keen to do whatever they could to help. Not just the kids from all over the country who kicked in their lives to sleep in the cold and be arrested multiple times in the name of a better future, but the shop owners who shipped out their spare produce. The trained nurses who turned up to administer basic medical care to those who had none. The parents who donated freshly-baked pies and soups to the kitchens. The librarians and academics who created an enormous library that, almost a year ago, I watched the NYPD rip apart and hurl into dumpster trucks, just because it was messing up their nice clean corporate dead-zone.

It’s no accident that the original Occupy Wall Street organizers were among the first to set up and co-ordinate volunteering efforts across New York. The group, which has drifted in recent months, immediately set about organizing teams and transportation to the worst-hit areas. The Zuccotti Park protest camp which was evicted last November and the enormous post-Sandy volunteer effort going on this week are different expressions of the same thing: overwhelming human response to crisis.

Crisis is what people in the United States have been living with for at least four years. Active emergency, turning people out of their homes and into the cold, destroying lives. It’s not crass to compare a climate disaster to a juddering crisis of capitalism, because the two are connected, not least because those most responsible are also those most likely to be snugly tucked away in gated compounds shrugging their shoulders when the storm hits. Like the crash, Hurricane Sandy hit the poorest hardest, smashing through Staten Island and Rockaway while the lights stayed on on the Upper East Side.

Nobody expected it to be quite this bad. Last year’s Hurricane Irene was bearable for most. But what I’m seeing here, at least in Brooklyn where I’ve been stuck for two days, is a city coming out of a six-month paralysis: finally, there’s a concrete task that people can put their hands to.

Sarah Jaffe’s brilliant piece at Jacobin draws attention to Rebecca Solnit’s work on the communities that arise in disaster zones:

Volunteerism, of course, can be regressive as well as radical. I am reminded of those “broom armies” in London in the middle of the August riots last year; the sea of white, middle-class faces holding up brooms they’d brought to unfamiliar areas of the city, the sweet intention to mop up after a disaster tempered by the idea that the kids from deprived areas who came out to fight the police could just be swept away like so much filth. Like any desperate human impulse, volunteerism can easily be co-opted, twisted into something violent, calcifying.

Greece, where I spent part of my summer documenting the human effects of economic collapse, isn’t the only developed country where people have been living in crisis for so long they are starting to numb down and accept it. As Imara Jones pointed out in The Guardian today, 50 million Americans, the same number as those in the states hardest-hit by Hurricane Sandy, are living in acute poverty, and nobody in the presidential race has deigned to talk to or about them, despite the fact that they also have votes.

How do we respond to crisis when crisis has become status quo? That’s the question facing the entire developed world this year, and neither of the men jostling to lead the nominally free world appear to have any sort of answer. The Occupy Sandy operation is not an answer either, not even the shadow-play of an answer, but it is deeply radical and compassionate. That means someone’s probably going to try to shut it down reasonably soon, especially if it continues to provide food and assistance to the needy after the floodwaters have receded. A community response to immediate external crisis can be spun as good PR for an administration, but a community response to structural, internal crisis is just embarrassing. In every case though, the most dangerous thing you can do in any crisis – the absolute worst thing you can possibly do – is sit at home and accept it.

Back to blood. Funny thing about blood: until the 1970s, America used to buy it. Blood donation, as the United States quickly discovered, is not something you want to inject with a market incentive when you have to juggle things like infection risks and supply shortages. All that changed when Richard Titmus’ book The Gift Relationship: From Human Blood to Social Policy was published in 1971, explaining why the values of public service beat the private market every time when it comes to social care. The private market in American blood was regulated until it became something like the British voluntary model - people coming in to open their veins for a biscuit and a cup of coffee, just because somebody else needs their blood more than they do. Quite a lot of my job at Billyburg church today was handing out packets of Oreos to younguns waiting in line to do just that – I still have no damn idea who donated those biscuits – and telling the people massing at the door that no, we have all the blood we need for today, thank you, come back tomorrow.

“There is in the free gift of blood to unnamed strangers no contract of custom, no legal bond, no functional determinism, no situations of discriminatory power, domination, constraint or compulsion, no sense of shame or guilt,” wrote Titmus. “In not asking for or expecting any payment of money, these donors signified their belief in the willingness of other men to act altruistically in the future.” There is still enough blood beating in the cynical hearts of New Yorkers to pound out an immediate, compassionate response to crisis. Today that gives me hope.

***

Occupy Sandy Relief information here can be found at interoccupy.net/occupysandy/ – a website put together by the good folks at OWS, which contains all you need to know about what you can do to help. Click here for the NYC Blood Drive list of donation centers and opening times.

Laurie Penny is a journalist, feminist, and political activist from London. She is a regular writer for the New Statesman and the Guardian, and has also contributed to the Independent, Red Pepper, and the Evening Standard. She is the author of Meat Market: Female Flesh Under Capitalism (2011) and Discordia (2012). She has presented Channel 4's Dispatches and been on the panel of the BBC's Any Questions. Her blog, "Penny Red", was shortlisted for the Orwell prize in 2010.

A.J. Focht (image) One announcement surpassed all others this week, shaking the foundations of this galaxy and those far far away as well. Disney bought out Lucas Film, and therefore the Star Wars franchise, for $4 billion dollars. A new Star Wars movie is already planned for 2015. What does this mean... more

A.J. Focht



One announcement surpassed all others this week, shaking the foundations of this galaxy and those far far away as well. Disney bought out Lucas Film, and therefore the Star Wars franchise, for $4 billion dollars. A new Star Wars movie is already planned for 2015. What does this mean for the geek universe? Since Disney also owns Marvel comics, the potential for crossovers is high. Also the purchase begs the question, is Leia now officially a Disney Princess? And, if so, will she get bigger boobs and a fancier ball dress? In an interview, Lucas said he intends to donate a large portion of the sale profits to charity.

Some news has surfaced about The Amazing Spider-Man 2, including the film's villain. Jamie Foxx is reportedly in talks to play the shocking Electro. While Foxx is not confirmed, it is likely that Electro will appear in the film. Electro is one of Spider-Man’s first villains, appearing first in The Amazing Spider-Man #9.

Sin City: A Dane to Kill For is in the casting process and we already have some new faces. Jaime King is returning for the sequel, playing the sister of her character in the first movie. She is joined by newcomer Jamie Chung, who plays the part of Devon Aoki. A Dame to Kill For is currently set to hit theaters on October 4, 2013.

If you have a vacation coming up, why not choose Middle Earth? Or the next best thing, New Zealand? To get you in the Hobbitsville mood, Air New Zealand has created an inflight safety video using characters from the film. Director Peter Jackson even makes a cameo appearance.

One last message before Election Day, Joss Whedon has given his endorsement to Mitt Romney – apparently so he can drive this country into a corporate wasteland ending in a Zombie Apocalypse. So if you haven’t voted yet, listen to your nerd overlord and embrace the "Zomney Apocalypse." While you’re at it, go take a parkour class.

A friend just asked why I don't date, and so I pointed him in the direction of an old blog I wrote on dating, and why you should never, ever, ever, in a million years, ever, ever do it. Suffice to say, I'm ideologically opposed to it. At the end of the day, if I want to have dinner with the... more

A friend just asked why I don't date, and so I pointed him in the direction of an old blog I wrote on dating, and why you should never, ever, ever, in a million years, ever, ever do it.

Suffice to say, I'm ideologically opposed to it. At the end of the day, if I want to have dinner with the primary purpose of being judged, I can just go round to my mom's, so it's surplus to requirements anyways.

Anyhow, my first point on the aforementioned post is this:

My friend subsequently asked what the "Queen's English rules of engagement" were.

As it happens, I once wrote a chapter for a friend's book about dating British Blokes, which more or less covers things...The book was billed as "The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend--and to Living Life Like a Rock Star," and was written specifically for girls who want to meet boys, but nevertheless gives a fairly accurate overview of the rules of cricket so to speak. Also, please excuse the tone, which was intended for a somewhat different audience...

British Men: How to flirt with, seduce and land a bloke from Blighty

The phrase "dating a British man" is misleading, as in essence it's an oxymoron. The English don't date per se, the term being considered rather crass and, well, American. Though the English may make use of American-style computer dating websites in private, in public even the use of the word "dating" is frowned upon. To get around the embarrassment caused by the "D" word, the English use the euphemism "going-out," which is less direct and therefore far less threatening.

Since the whole "going-out" thing is so painfully embarrassing for Brits, the use of social lubricants and disinhibitors such as alcohol is essential (otherwise the nation would quite likely go the way of the dinosaurs). Consequently, if you're looking to hook up with a British man (or "bloke" as they're called in "Blighty") the best place to start is where copious amounts of said lubricants are consumed, i.e., down the pub.

Once down the pub, the way to flirt with a British bloke is by not flirting. Aggressive American-style flirting would just put the fear of god into your intended, and would likely have the opposite effect as the one desired. A basic knowledge of football and British TV is essential when breaking the ice, since an opening line such as "can you explain the offside rule" will likely be more successful than an obnoxiously obvious "do you come here often" (Brits are rarely direct with their verbiage, and are notorious for taking the scenic route whenever possible). British pub conversation is highly competitive, so get you wit on if you want to be noticed; He or she who jokes best wins. Once you've struck up a good conversation, relax and let the beer take care of the rest.

The mating ritual of a British bloke generally involves him getting rat-arsed (very, very drunk) in the general vicinity of a potential mate before "copping off" (disappearing for some sexual interaction) with them at a point when all inhibitions have disappeared along with the beer. If you're lucky, he'll be drunk enough to ask for your number yet sober enough to remember it, which means you're well on your way to taking the relationship to the next level.

Since Brits don't date, men may arrange to be in the vicinity of you and a pint of beer at a future point by asking if you fancy going out somewhere at some predetermined time. Just remember, in responding to such a proposition, never, ever, mention the "D" word. Indeed you may only be certain whether such an appointment is a date after the fact, and even then it's not always clear, but that just goes with the territory and is one of life's great mysteries.

The rules of engagement between the sexes are subtly different across the pond. If a man and woman share conversation on neighboring barstools repeatedly, then the couple concerned are considered to be an "item" (a couple). This happens by default, with no American-style discussions of exclusivity, which would be beyond embarrassing for a Brit. Indeed there's really no such thing as non-exclusive dating as far as Brits are concerned (though one-off drunken shags are always excusable).

Once you have your Brit bloke keep him happy by learning a few essential skills. Once the sex is over, you'll need to locate the kettle and put it on. Put a tea bag into a pre-warmed pot (if available) or mug and pour boiling water onto it. Serve with milk and sugar to taste, saving the honey for your next bout of foreplay.

Stan Lee was recently named the 26th most influential American by Atlantic Monthly, but if it was up to me I would have put him quite a bit higher. Lee is, of course, best known as the co-creator of Spider-Man, X-Men, Fantastic Four and dozens more, though controversy has always swirled around how big... more

Stan Lee was recently named the 26th most influential American by Atlantic Monthly, but if it was up to me I would have put him quite a bit higher. Lee is, of course, best known as the co-creator of Spider-Man, X-Men, Fantastic Four and dozens more, though controversy has always swirled around how big his real contributions might have been. But first and foremost Lee has always been the consummate salesman, whether it was selling the latest weird Spider-Man villain to the readers or hosting the television show Who Wants To Be A Superhero?

Lee’s latest projects are totally without connection to Marvel Comics. His company, Purveyors of Wonders, has been producing original characters for straight to DVD movies. One of the best is Mosaic, an animated film starring the voice of Anna Paquin as Maggie Nelson a high school student whose father is an Interpol agent investigating a mysterious race that can change appearance at will. After Maggie is bathed in the power of one of her father’s discoveries, an ancient runestone, she gets all the powers of a chameleon. Maggie teams up with a member of that ancient race, codenamed Mosaic, to defeat the evil Mannequin who wants to take over the world.

Check out the official site for Stan Lee Presents: Mosaic

Daniel Robert Epstein: So Stan, these are the Purveyors of Wonders projects you’ve been talking about for years.

Stan Lee: Yeah Purveyors of Wonder or POW! is our company. Obviously we wouldn’t purvey anything that wasn’t at least wonderful.

DRE: How involved are you with this?

Lee: I come up with the basic concept for what we do. I’ll write an outline or a treatment or something of that sort. Then we find the best script writer to put it into script form and I stay on top of the whole operation.

DRE: Do you find it difficult to keep relevant?

Lee: I have this one problem. I’m a little too hip. I have to cut back as much as I can because I don’t want to lose too many readers or too many viewers because I am too advanced. When I walk past a bunch of kids playing ball in the street I am always surprised when they don’t yell at me, “Hey fella we’re one man short. You want to join us?” I still feel like I’m one of them.

DRE: I interviewed Roger Corman not too long ago who I believe you’re friends with.

Lee: He’s a great guy.

DRE: His company is now doing stuff straight to DVD. I think some of the best stuff I’m seeing now is straight to DVD. Do you feel this is a really untapped market?

Lee: I don’t know how untapped it is because we’re starting to tap the hell out of it. It’s a great market absolutely.

DRE: Did you find more freedom in straight to DVD movies than theatrical films or even comic books?

Lee: We can do whatever we want but I still love movies and television. But the beautiful thing about POW is that we’re involved in all of them. We’re working on movies, TV series, videogames and we’re doing things for cell phones. DVDs are fun because we just decide to do one and we damn well do it.

DRE: People have trouble creating new franchise characters, what’s the key to writing compelling characters?

Lee: Sure I’m going to tell you so that all our competitors can make note and put us out of business [laughs]. The key is to create characters that people will care about and will want see more of. Now how you do that, I am not going to tell you.

DRE: [laughs] We spoke of a few years ago and you said that you weren’t a fan of pure fantasy, did you relax that a bit for Mosaic?

Lee: It depends on what you’re talking about pure fantasy. If your story has nothing but fairytale qualities then I’m not interested in it. Fantasy has to be tempered with reality. For example, one of the famous fairytales is Jack and the Beanstalk. The fantasy element is that he had magic beans and they grew a giant beanstalk that went up to the sky where a giant lived. That’s fantasy, but it was coupled with reality. Jack was a poor kid who lived with his mother. They didn’t have enough money and finally she told him to sell their cow. By making the character’s realistic and empathetic, you can go into fantasy but if everything is fantastic then it gets boring.

DRE: I know that you said many times that the executive producer credit you get on the Marvel movies are honorary.

Lee: I really don’t have that much to do with producing the movies. Though many of them are based on the things that I have written years ago. As far as the production of the movies, there are so many talented people that they don’t need any help from me.

DRE: Would you be interested in being more involved with the Marvel movies in the way you are involved with the Purveyors of Wonder projects?

Lee: Any creative juices that I have, I can expend on POW so I don’t have to butt into other projects. At POW we are doing so many things that I’m totally involved in so I do manage to keep busy and stuff.

DRE: I read that you will be making a cameo in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

Lee: Yes and it’s a great appearance too. I have a couple lines to say and I think the viewers who are old Marvel fans will get a kick out of it because my appearance is based on something that happened in a Fantastic Four story years ago.

DRE: I assume that means Willie Lumpkin will be using his ear wiggling superpower.

Lee: I’m not going to be Willie Lumpkin in this one. I’ll be an even more recognizable figure and I can’t tell you anymore.

DRE: Obviously I write for the internet and so much of the comic book community can be traced back to the fanzines that came about after you started printing people’s addresses on the Marvel Comics letters pages. What made you start doing that?

Lee: I just wanted to make everything personal and friendly and make it seem as if we’re all part of a little club. I wanted to have a warm friendly feeling for everything we did and I thought that helped.

DRE: Did you have any inkling that people would start corresponding with one another?

Lee: I hoped that would happen like that and it did and it was very satisfying. It was very gratifying.

DRE: I read that Atlantic Monthly voted you the 26th most influential American.

Lee: I don’t know how I missed being in the first 25 but you can’t win them all.

DRE: What does being a living legend mean to you?

Lee: Between you and me I don’t give it much thought. I just keep busy doing what I am doing and having fun working with people that I like. That’s the most important thing. I’ve always worked with people that are very talented and whom I like personally so it doesn’t feel like work. You are joining your friends and you get to have a good time.

DRE: I always wondered why it seems that Marvel and whoever their parent company is never gives creators like Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko their due. What are they afraid of?

Lee: I don’t know what you mean but if what is it you would want them to do?

DRE: It always seemed that they never seem to get as much credit as they deserved.

Lee: Everything that they’ve done, their name has been on. I make sure of that. How much more credit could they get? Anytime I do an interview and we are talking about Spider-Man or Dr. Strange, I always mention Steve Ditko. When we talk about some of the other things I always mention Jack. Nobody has been hiding them. Marvel publishes a series called Marvel Visionaries and one whole book was devoted to Jack. I think they’ve done one devoted to Steve Ditko. I’m happy to say they did one devoted to me. I don’t really know what more you would want. I’m not a spokesman for Marvel so I’m not speaking as a Marvel representative but just as a guy outside looking in.

DRE: Years ago Daniel Clowes wrote a book called Dan Pussey and it had a Stan Lee-like character and Kirby had a character based on you in New Gods called Funky Flashman. How did you feel about those?

Lee: At that time Jack was mad at me and he had some fun doing it. I thought it was funny.

DRE: You thought it was funny even though he was mad at you?

Lee: Well, he didn’t stay mad very long. If you’ve worked with an artist for years. it’s almost like a married couple. Every so often you have a quarrel then you get over it.

DRE: Are you working on any new comics?

Lee: Not really. I did some comics for Marvel called Stan Lee Meets. I am in the story and I meet Spider-Man and then I meet Dr. Doom. In another one I meet The Thing and Dr. Strange. John Romita Jr. has done the art. We planned to do that five years ago and I forgot all about it and John was busy. But he got the artwork done a couple months ago. I’ll do a story if something comes up and if they ask me but basically I am pretty much out of comics now.

DRE: Howard Chaykin told me that he doesn’t think comic books are going to last through his life time, which is another 30 years or so, because of computers and the internet. Do you think comic books have a lot of time left?

Lee: I think that comics will be around for a hell of a long time. My gosh, comics are fun to read. Now there is more competition then there has ever been. When I was writing comics they didn’t have television, they didn’t have videogames, they didn’t have iPods and they didn’t have computers. The only competition was movies. But comic books take their place with all the other forms of entertainment and I think that they’ll always be here.

DRE: It’s interesting that you say that while you’re not working on comics anymore.

Lee: Believe it or not I don’t think that I am so important that if I am not working on comics, the companies would fall. People would think that I am stupid or the most conceited guy in the world. Comic books are a great way to read a story. Movie producers are getting more and more interested in comics because they realize that they are great sources of material for TV shows and movies.

DRE: Marvel has many amazing properties but most of them are not nearly as popular as the X-Men and Spider-Man, do you think Marvel has properties that could be as popular in movies as those characters?

Lee: I don’t know if they could be as big as Spider-Man but there is always a chance. I don’t think that anyone will agree with me but I feel almost every character can be successful depending on how you write and produce the character and who plays the role and who directs it.

DRE: A lot more women are interested in superhero comics than ever before. Was that an audience that you found difficult to crack in the 60’s and 70’s?

Lee: Back then there weren’t many female readers but the movies have helped a great deal. Women who have seen X-Men and Spider-Man realize that there is romance, human interest and quite a bit of realism in them besides the fantasy. That’s what women like so more and more women are getting into comics and comic movies.

DRE: You’ve said publicly that you and Steve Ditko were never friends, right?

Lee: Well, we didn’t socialize. But I always thought of him as a friend when we worked together. I had great respect for his brilliant talent. He was so important in creating and making Spider-Man important.

DRE: Do you ever think he’ll show himself publicly again?

Lee: If I had to guess, I would say no. If he hasn’t done it in all these years I don’t know why he would do it now. For some reason the guy just doesn’t want publicity or he just doesn’t want to speak to the press. It’s certainly his prerogative.

DRE: How many Stan Lee related tattoos have you seen on people over the years?

Lee: Quite a few. When I would go to comic book conventions for autographing, very often somebody would roll up their sleeve and say, “Would you sign under the Spider-Man tattoo?” Or under the Dr. Strange tattoo. One of them actually had a tattoo which was a caricature of me [laughs]. I don’t think it did me justice, but hey, what are you going to do?

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck

by Laurelin (image) There are moments in life when nothing has changed, yet all of a sudden everything is perfect. As I walk down the street from my house – the same street I walk every day with my head down – I suddenly look up and notice the leaves have changed colors and the sky is perfect. The... more

by Laurelin



There are moments in life when nothing has changed, yet all of a sudden everything is perfect. As I walk down the street from my house – the same street I walk every day with my head down – I suddenly look up and notice the leaves have changed colors and the sky is perfect. The wind blows and a single leaf falls into my outstretched hand, Tori Amos’s “Gold Dust” is playing on my iPhone, and I feel silly for being upset about such simple things when there is so much beauty in the world (“and then you’ll understand, we held gold dust in our hands…”). There are some songs you just remember, the songs you equate with moments, the songs that from that time forward will always remind you of autumn.

Taylor Swift’s “Enchanted” came through my ear buds on the way home from the bar one night two years ago on Boylston Street. I had met someone, our eyes connecting from across the bar, and after flickering away and back again a few times we wound up chatting; At the end of the night I had a new phone number in my phone and a smile on my face. She sang, “All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you, this night is sparkling, don’t you let it go, I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home.” And I was so hopeful, proudly wearing my newly blushing cheeks.

Ellie Goulding’s “Guns and Horses” reminds me of a year old summer fling, a boy who I would have done anything for after we broke up, even though I knew he and I never should have worked in the first place. He got a new girlfriend not long after our relationship ended, and I was devastated. His new girlfriend eventually broke up with him and it was his turn to be sad, and that’s probably why he and I started sleeping together again. I clung to those drunken nights with him, and always on the way home alone the next morning Ellie sang, “But I wish I could feel it all for you, I wish I could be it all for you, if I could erase the pain maybe you’d feel the same, I’d do it all for you, I would.” I wished so badly that he would choose me. He never did.

Oceanlab’s “Satellite,” while an upbeat electronic song, still makes me impossibly sad. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting to find different results. After being left not once, not twice, but three times by this abusive punk rock loser, I finally pulled what was left of my own self from the wreckage and managed to walk away with some shreds of my own personality and dignity left to cultivate and finally nurse back to full health. Each time I hear that beat and “You’re half a world away, but in my mind I whisper every single word you say,” I can’t help but cringe and remember the eight years when every day was spent feeling so hopeless and alone I could have just ceased to exist.

Taylor Swift’s “I Almost Do” has been on repeat as of late, and in my current state of mind I find myself reaching for the phone, wanting to reach out to someone and then remembering that I shouldn’t waste my time on people who don’t care. I delete his number and I feel foolish for wasting my time, silly for believing the things that came out of his mouth when I was as disposable as a Styrofoam coffee cup, only useful until you’ve sucked the last drop from the depths. It starts after I lock up the bar at 3 AM and I’m walking home alone as the city sleeps. “I bet this time of night you’re still up, I bet you’re tired from a long hard week, I bet you’re sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city and I bet sometimes you wonder about me. And I just want to tell you it takes everything in me not to call you… every time I don’t, I almost do..”

I almost do. But I don’t, and I quicken my pace and I tuck the leaf that fell into my palm in the pocket of my black leather jacket. The wind picks up and I turn my head back towards the ground.



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Life Beyond The Bar Scene: My Manager’s Pants Look Better On The Floor And Other Tales Of Responsibility
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Blonde Ambition
Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Love is Better Soaked in Tequila
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Fake It ‘Til You Make It
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Apologies and Other Useless Utterances
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Liquid Running
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Anger and Other Mostly Useless Emotions
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: One of the Guys
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Case of the Crazies
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Unsettled
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boys of Summer
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Play On Playa'
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: How to Lose a Girl in Ten Minutes
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Naked Laurelin Reading
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Healthy Relationships are for Boring People and Other Mishaps
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Letting Go
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Does it Exist?
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The Dating Game
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: After a Few Beers Everyone Looks Good and Other Love Stories
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Getting Naked With Laurelin
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Seven Days and Seven Nights of Sobriety
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: When it’s Time to Move On
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Starting Over and Other Stupid Resolutions
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: He Broke Up with Me on a Post-it and Other Travesties
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The End of Four Loko As We Know It
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boston’s Top 5 Dives

(image) by Rachel Allshiny (image) (image) (image) Occupy Wall Street has hit the streets of New York in force once again. This time, instead of protesting the symbiotic relationship between big banks and politics, they are organizing relief efforts in the hardest-hit areas of the city in the wake of... more

by Rachel Allshiny







Occupy Wall Street has hit the streets of New York in force once again. This time, instead of protesting the symbiotic relationship between big banks and politics, they are organizing relief efforts in the hardest-hit areas of the city in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.

In the immediate aftermath of the super storm, Occupy Wall Street activists began coordinating aid to those in need in conjunction with climate activist group 350.org and recovers.org – a site that offers tools for organizing disaster relief within affected communities. This effort, dubbed "Occupy Sandy," combines the organizational power, established communication network, and autonomous agility of the Occupy movement to provide direct relief where it is needed the most. Occupy Sandy not only connects those who are able to donate supplies or volunteer their time with those looking for aid, but also fills in the gaps in services that organizations with non-profit status are not able to provide. For example, one recent Facebook post shows a photo of shopping carts full of perishable food that is unusable by Red Hook Initiative due to sanitation codes and the community center's 501c3 status. The caption recommends picking the food up to redistribute "DIY style," thus circumventing a frustrating technicality.

Remarkably, the Occupy Sandy effort is not limited to the hardcore Occupy activists who camped in Zuccotti Park and were arrested on the Brooklyn Bridge. The immediacy of the situation at hand and the speed at which Occupy networks were able to mobilize has drawn new recruits into a movement that had recently been losing steam.

Jeremiah Birnbaum, of Astoria, describes himself as apolitical and lives in a collective house with Occupy Wall Street organizers, but is not personally involved with the movement. He joined up with Occupy Sandy as a way to offer immediate help to those in need, particularly poor communities that are often overlooked. "We asked: Who is not being helped?" Birnbaum explained in a phone interview. "I could have gone to Red Cross and done two hours of training, or I could help people right now." He is working to coordinate efforts on the ground, matching abilities and resources to meet needs within the community, especially for those without access to the internet or social networking sites.

Birnbaum further described the process of contacting the city or other relief organizations as rife with red tape. "The bureaucracy is insane," he said. When he was unable to get in touch with ConEd about getting power restored to a nearby housing project, he turned instead to the Occupy Sandy network.He sent a text message asking his partner to request donations of flashlights, batteries, and candles through their website, providing his home address as a drop-off point. By the time he arrived home 15 minutes later, nearly 100 flashlights had been delivered. "I was stunned," he admitted. "People have been given the ability to help."

That, ultimately, may be the power of Occupy Wall Street moving forward; Restoring power to the people with their ability to organize and mobilize in a way that empowers individuals to make change within their own communities. "People ask me, are you from the Red Cross?" Birnbaum says. "We tell them no, we're your neighbors, and we're here to help you." This is where a leaderless, horizontal movement can shine. As Birnbaum puts it, "There's been this organic network created, and it works. It's time to get away from process to focus on taking action." Whether or not he will participate in future protests remains to be seen, but working with Occupy Sandy has initiated him into the Occupy community. "It's made me appreciate what Occupy has been doing behind the scenes for the past year."

Resources available for coordinating relief efforts through Occupy Sandy include a Google doc volunteer sign-up sheet, a donations page, and recovers.org pages for the communities of Staten Island, Red Hook, Astoria, and the Lower East Side. You can follow @OccupySandy on Twitter or search related hashtags, such as #SandyAid and #SandyVolunteer. You can "Like" the Occupy Sandy Facebook page or even sign up for text alerts by texting "occupysandy" to 23559.

All these resources and more have been collected on an Occupy Sandy hub by InterOccupy.

Photos by Jenna Pope (@BatmanWI), Julia C. Reinhart (@juliacreinhart), and @an0nyc.

by Greg Palast (image) For Mitt Romney, it's one scary Halloween. The Presidential candidate has just learned that tomorrow afternoon (November 1) he will be charged by the United Automobile Workers (UAW) and other public interest groups with violating the federal ethics in government law by improperly... more

by Greg Palast



For Mitt Romney, it's one scary Halloween. The Presidential candidate has just learned that tomorrow afternoon (November 1) he will be charged by the United Automobile Workers (UAW) and other public interest groups with violating the federal ethics in government law by improperly concealing his multi-million dollar windfall from the auto industry bailout.

At a press conference in Toledo, Bob King, President of the United Automobile Workers, will announce that his union and Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) have filed a formal complaint with the US Office of Government Ethics in Washington stating that Gov. Romney improperly hid a profit of $15.3 million to $115.0 million in Ann Romney's so-called "blind" trust.

The union chief says, "The American people have a right to know about Gov. Romney’s potential conflicts of interest, such as the profits his family made from the auto rescue. It’s time for Gov. Romney to disclose or divest.”

“While Romney was opposing the rescue of one of the nation’s most important manufacturing sectors, he was building his fortunes with his Delphi investor group, making his fortunes off the misfortunes of others,” King added.

The Romneys' gigantic windfall was hidden inside an offshore corporation inside a limited partnership inside a trust which both concealed the gain and reduces taxes on it.

The Romneys' windfall was originally exposed in The Nation magazine – see "Mitt Romney's Bailout Bonanza" – after a worldwide investigation by our crew at The Guardian, the Nation Institute and the Palast Investigative Fund.

The full story of Romney and his "vulture fund" partners is in the New York Times bestseller, "Billionaires & Ballot Bandits," available from Truthout with a contribution by clicking here.

According to ethics law expert Dan Curry who drafted the ethics complaint, Ann Romney does not have a federally-approved blind trust. An approved "blind" trust may not be used to hide a major investment which could be affected by Romney if he were to be elected President. Other groups joining the UAW and CREW include Public Citizen, the Service Employees International Union (SEIU), Public Campaign, People for the American Way and The Social Equity Group.

President Obama's approved trust, for example, contains only highly-diversified mutual funds on which presidential action can have little effect. By contrast, the auto bail-out provided a windfall of over 4,000% on one single Romney investment.

In 2009, Ann Romney partnered with her husband's key donor, billionaire Paul Singer, who secretly bought a controlling interest in Delphi Auto, the former GM auto parts division. Singer's hedge fund, Elliott Management, threatened to cut off GM's supply of steering columns unless GM and the government's TARP auto bailout fund provided Delphi with huge payments. While the US treasury complained this was "extortion," the hedge funds received, ultimately, $12.9 billion in taxpayer subsidies.

As a result, the shares Singer and Romney bought for just 67 cents are today worth over $30, a 4,000% gain. Singer's hedge fund made a profit of $1.27 billion and the Romney's tens of millions.

The UAW complaint calls for Romney to reveal exactly how much he made off Delphi – and continues to make. The Singer syndicate, once in control of Delphi, eliminated every single UAW job – 25,000 – and moved almost all auto parts production to Mexico and China where Delphi now employs 25,000 auto parts workers.


A version of this story originally appeared on Buzzflash. Forensic Economist Greg Palast's investigative reports can be seen on BBC Television. His latest New York Times bestseller, Billionaires & Ballot Bandits: How to Steal an Election in 9 Easy Steps, contains a comic book by Ted Rall and chapters by Robert F. Kennedy Jr.



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Crispin Hellion Glover is, in many ways, a man that embodies the Renaissance ideal. There is an intensity that fuels his life and his work; one that some may view as somewhat strange, but others realize as truly impassioned. He is an author, actor, director, and, though he doesn't consider himself... more

Crispin Hellion Glover is, in many ways, a man that embodies the Renaissance ideal. There is an intensity that fuels his life and his work; one that some may view as somewhat strange, but others realize as truly impassioned. He is an author, actor, director, and, though he doesn't consider himself a musician, a recording artist. He is the misfit auteur with a fascination for the macabre who first impressed mainstream audiences with his breakout role as Back to the Future's George McFly, though it wasn't until the release of his directorial debut What Is It? (2005) that audiences got their first real look into Glover's mind and his penchant for films that go beyond the realm of good and evil.

The first in a trilogy, Glover once described What Is It? as, "The adventures of a young man whose principal interests are snails, salt, a pipe and how to get home, and is tormented by a hubristic, racist inner psyche." SuicideGirls' own Daniel Robert Epstein called the film, "Weird, different, frustrating, bizarre and even brilliant; but it’s so far from the mainstream that it almost overlaps and becomes mainstream again."

The second film in Glover's trilogy, It Is Fine! Everything Is Fine, made its world premiere at 2007's Sundance Film Festival, dizzying audiences with its bold and fresh treatment of what might otherwise be considered taboo subject matter. Written by and starring Steven C. Stewart, a man afflicted with Cerebral Palsy, the film follows Stewart's character as he moves in and out of relationships with women, despite his handicap, and indulges his fetish for long hair before ultimately murdering them by strangulation. But rather than lose touch with Stewart's screenplay in the trappings of a crime drama, Glover explores the film as a graphic, genre-style fantasy that he likens to "a television murder mystery movie from the '70s."

During his US tour of It Is Fine! Everything Is Fine, SuicideGirls caught up with Glover to chat about creative financing, working with Steven C. Stewart, and the importance of choosing one's words carefully.

For more information and your chance to catch a screening of It Is Fine! Everything Is Fine, check out Glover's official website here.

Erin Broadley: Hey, how are you?

Crispin Hellion Glover: Good, good. Everything’s terribly hectic, but that’s good. There’s been a lot of press interest for the film. I really am proud of the film and excited to show it to people so I am glad.

EB: So, this film is the second in a trilogy. How did you fund this film? Do you think that, in terms of creative financing, the nature of what you might call pro culture dictates how we have to finance the projects that we really want to do as filmmakers and artists?

CG: The money that I made from the first Charlie’s Angel’s film went straight into making this film, Everything Is Fine. I think what’s happening in corporately funded filmmaking is that, no matter who funds the film, they are the person who is going to have the final say on what is in the content. Rarely will somebody fund a film without wanting to have a particular element in it. So, if the filmmaker does not fund the film, it’s usual that there is some kind of concession in it. And sometimes that’s okay, there certainly have been good films made with that consideration, but I find that within the last 20 or 30 years in the corporately funded and corporately distributed film entities, it’s become the norm that anything that can possibly make the audience uncomfortable in any way whatsoever is necessarily excised, or the film will not be funded or distributed.

EB: Right, and you’ve said before that those uncomfortable feelings, those moments, are when an audience is really having an interaction with the film.

CG: Where questions start to happen. It’s when an audience member sits back and looks up at the screen and asks themselves, “Is it right what I’m watching? Is it wrong what I’m watching? Should the filmmaker have done this? What is it? What is it that’s taboo in the culture? What does it mean that this taboo has been excised from the most important form of communication in the culture?” I think that is a bad thing. It is those moments when the audience is questioning these very things that they are having an educational experience. For that to be ubiquitously excised from the most important form of communication in the culture ends up stupefying the culture. And one can feel that that’s happened. It’s very important for sociological studies to be able to determine what the taboo of the culture is. One can understand the culture much more readily when they understand what the taboo of the culture is. When it’s kind of made murky it’s a little bit harder to disseminate the information.

EB: Would you agree that it’s more important for art and for film these days to pose questions, rather than offer answers?

CG: Yeah. The problem is that there are dictations in the way that films are made that do not let audience members think. The way I’ve really been talking about the films that I’m interested in making right now are films that go beyond the realm of that which is considered good and evil. Wherein if there is something that would be considered a bad thing, an evil thing, within a corporately funded and distributed film, in the structure of the film it must necessarily be pointed to as an evil thing so that the audiences understand that the filmmakers feel that’s how it is. [It must be] dictated to the audience that that thing is a bad thing and there’s no other way to think about it. Whereas, in a film that goes beyond the realm of that which is considered good and evil, this so-called “evil thing” may very well exist within the structure of the film but the filmmaker may not necessarily point [it out], an audience member may sit and think about it themselves, as opposed to being dictated to. Then that’s educational. For the most part is not happening in corporately funded and distributed films at this time.

EB: Yeah, it seems like a lot of corporately funded and distributed film makes decisions on a very fear-based level when it comes to their audience. I never think somebody should underestimate the intelligence of their audience to be able to come up with their own interpretations or decisions about good or evil, or what something means, whether it’s taboo or not.

CG: Yeah. Right. I don’t even necessarily think it’s a fear of that but a concern about is what is going to be salable, not to audiences, but in terms of foreign market sales, to the people who are buying things en masse. It’s not a concept of what the audience will be dealing with but what is easy to sell to particular business markets. It’s not even a concept about people actually enjoying or getting something out of the film, it’s more about what is readily salable to particular market areas. It’s very apparent when I go on tour with a film there is a huge amount of audience interest in unusual subject matter and thoughtful subject matter. In fact, on some level I’m kind of quite grateful for the fact that such a large gap has come to exist so as an entrepreneur I can come and fill that gap. It’s unfortunate, in terms of an audience member myself, not being able to find content that is genuinely thoughtful and interesting.

EB: In your last interview with SuicideGirls you opened up by talking about the phrase “counter-culturalism”.

CG: Right. I’ve stopped using that phrase. That’s why I started using “films that go beyond the realm of good and evil”. The reason I stopped using it, it's slang. I mean on some level people understand what it is that I’m referring to. Specifically it had to do with the counter-culture that the media spoke about, using that term, in the late '60s to early '70s. That counter-culture has stopped being represented in the media. At that point in time corporate entities were able to point to that group and say, “This is where we can sell this more esoteric fare to.” That’s very specifically why I was using that term but why I’ve stopped using that term is because counter-culture is almost an oxymoron. Culture is anybody that’s a human being or the byproduct of human beings so how can there really be a counter to it? It’s just a matter of words that could be misinterpreted. So I’ve stopped using that.

EB: I like people who choose their words carefully. You’re right -- so many words get used incorrectly and there are so many misconceptions that happen.

CG: Yeah. I’m finding there is less misconception when I am describing it as films that go beyond the realm of that which is considered good and evil. It’s a bit longer but more specific.

EB: The work you create is very all encompassing. You’re a writer, you’re an actor, you’re a director, and you’ve made music. Have you found your role as a director any more fulfilling than certain other of those pursuits?

CG: Yeah. I definitely like making my own films the best, there’s no question about it. I still enjoy doing all of the other things that I do. But making my own films, that is my favorite.

EB: How did you meet Steven C. Stewart?

CG: It’s a long story about Steven C. Stewart. When I was 19, which would be 1983, I was working on a film at AFI called The Orkly Kid, which was a good movie. It’s a movie I’m still proud of. The filmmaker, the director and writer of that film was from Salt Lake City, Utah. He was friends with another Salt Lake City filmmaker named Larry Roberts who had done a documentary on Steven C. Stewart. He was born with a severe case of Cerebral Palsy and he had been locked in a nursing home when he was in his early 20s when his mother died and he couldn’t get out for approximately 10 years. The people who attended him there derisively would call him MR, a mental retard, which wasn’t a nice thing to say to anybody. He was of normal intelligence.

I have to see the documentary again. It’s been many years since I saw it, but I believe that the documentary Larry made about helped get Steve out of the nursing home and then he lived the rest of his life in an assisted living place, which I went and saw. It was a nice place. Once someone sees the film, almost everything is shot on sets. Steven C. Stewart’s screenplay was written in genre style, like a television murder mystery movie from the ‘70s. It had a naïve element to it and yet very detailed sexual elements and a lot of fantasy elements having to do with women’s hair. It’s a fascinating story. When he got out of the nursing home he told Larry about this screenplay that he wanted to make into a movie. Larry was involved in certain other things but he knew of a filmmaker that was making interesting, unusual films and he told Steve he should meet with that filmmaker. Also, Trent and Larry, not too long after I had worked on The Orkly Kid, they showed me some of David Brother’s movies and it was right around the time that I wanted to start making my own films from some of my books. I thought he was very creative and would be good to work with, so we started making The Backwards Swing, which, actually, is next thing I want to edit together now. That was in 1986 and that’s when David showed me the screenplay for Everything Is Fine. As soon as I read it, I knew that this was a movie that I had to produce.

EB: I think it’s interesting that you came across this script before you had written you had written What Is It?.

CG: That’s correct... they were not related to each other at all. What Is It? was written originally to be a short film to promote yet a different screenplay, which will ultimately be part three of the trilogy of films. Two screenwriters from Arizona had contacted me and wanted to direct me in a movie that they had written a screenplay for. They made an offer to my agent, which they really shouldn’t have done because they didn’t have any money.

EB: [Laughs]

CG: It was right about the time that I decided the first filmmaker that I’d work with would be myself and I stuck with that. I talked to them about it and they said they wanted to hear what my concepts were. So they came out and met with me, and the main thing was that the characters in the film to be played by actors with Down Syndrome. They set about rewriting the screenplay and then David Lynch agreed to executive produce it for me to direct. I went to one of the large corporate entities in Los Angeles and after a number of meetings and discussions they said that they were concerned about funding a film where the majority of characters were played by actors with Down Syndrome. So it was deemed that I should write a short film to promote that this was a viable idea. That short film that I wrote was What Is It?. I could see that with more work I could make it into a feature film, so that’s what I did. I took that footage and figured a way to change the antagonism within it and make it into a different film. I put myself in the film as the central antagonist, or a personification of the antagonism. I knew that the screenplay, It Is Fine!, could serve as a sequel to what would now be a feature film. Then I started thinking that there were certain themes and elements that were related to the Steven C. Stewart screenplay in certain ways.

EB: Right, there were certain elements there that you could tie together and connect.

CG: Yes, and I realized that if I put Steve into part one with myself then his could be a sequel to What Is It? and it would help commercially with his film and be an interesting way of working all of these things together.

EB: Well, with his screenplay, how much were you involved in kind of bringing that to form on the screen? How much were you working together hands on?

CG: David Brothers and I were very concerned with making certain that a naïve element comes through. The strength of the film is that there is a very strong, cathartic, emotional resonance with the Steven C. Stewart character, and that it was very apparent this was in his screenplay. This was the most important thing to get through. Steve would have let us do anything we wanted to the screenplay. He wouldn’t have any thoughts or concerns or worry but David and I wanted to make sure that there were certain elements that just came through. We wanted to have a genuine respect for the naïveté with which the screenplay was written and not to interfere with it, in terms of funding. Margit Carstensen plays one of the main characters in it and, really, the emotional crux had to do with the relationship having to do with her character and the daughter character. There’s another element that it goes into with other women and everything having to do with long hair and women cutting their hair. It’s really a fascinating thing.

The things that were incredibly detailed and important with Steve’s script were the dialogue, how he described the hair and how he described the graphic sexuality of it. Another element that was important, there’s a lot of sexuality in the film. In the original screenplay there was even more graphic sexuality. I wasn’t against bringing graphic sexuality into the film for any kind of moral reason but I was concerned about being able to find a certain caliber of actors that was comfortable with as much sexuality as there was. There was an element that he had written in very specifically that was graphic in nature in the sexuality. So it was important to have some of that. When one watches the film, I’m very pleased with it. I said it before even before finishing it and I still feel like this -- I do feel like it will be the best film of the trilogy, and that isn’t to say I’m not trying to dismiss the other films, I’m incredibly proud of What Is It?, and I want to make all kinds of films. But no matter what, this film will be the best film I’ll have anything to do with in my whole career.

EB: There’s something about this one.

CG: There’s something about it, and it has to do with Steven C. Stewart and his particular story. What Is It? is my intellectual reaction to the restraints that have happened within corporately funded film and distributed film within the last 30 years, and that’s a valuable thing to be dealing with but Steve’s story is about his reaction to a very specific set of circumstances. Some of it has to do with the fact that he has Cerebral Palsy but even more than that it really has to do with this particularity that he has about hair.

EB: Right, and how he interacts with the world because of it.

CG: That is at least as important, and what’s even more important is that this film is not a documentary, this is a documentation of this particular person living out this particular fantasy. That is a very unusual thing and I do not know of another film that has happened in. I would have genuinely felt I had done a bad thing if I had not gotten this film completed or done if Steve had died. You know, he did die within a month after we finished shooting. Cerebral Palsy is not degenerative but he, one of his lungs had collapsed in the year 2000 and that’s why, when I, I knew that with the money I made from the first Charlie’s Angel’s film I could put it straight into making this movie and that’s exactly what happened.

EB: I’m assuming that it was important for you as well to have him not only behind the screenplay, but also involved in the film and every aspect while you were making it.

CG: There was no way that the film could have been made without him. If Steve had died and the screenplay would exist -- theoretically you would hire another man who had Cerebral Palsy or, if it was done in the standard kind of corporately funded and distributed film situation, an actor that didn’t have Cerebral Palsy that played somebody that had Cerebral Palsy -- it would just be nothing. As far as I’m concerned, even if it was a man who had Cerebral Palsy playing this role of a man who had a hair fetish, again it was important that it was a documentation of this man living this particular fantasy out. Something that’s interesting about the movie that I’ll never know is exactly what Steve’s reality was with this whole thing. It’s something David Brothers and I will talk about a lot, “What did Steve feel about all of this?” We talked to Steve about it. We said, “You know, people will think this is strange.” Steve said, “Oh yeah, I know.” He definitely had the mindset of somebody that was a bit of a prankster.

EB: Yeah [laughs].

CG: Which is something I could relate to and I like that about him. At the same time, if you ask specifics about it, I don’t know how analytical he would have been. Sometimes David feels like maybe the only thing that Steve wanted to do was to have the attention and the experience of doing this. I tend toward feeling like that’s not just what it was. Within a month after we finished shooting the film, Steve died. I had gotten a telephone call one morning after we finished shooting and basically Steve asked David and I permission to take himself off of life support. One of his lungs had collapsed again and he would have had to get an operation and wouldn’t have been able to go back to the assisted living place he had lived in. He would have had to go back to the nursing home and he did not want to ever do that again. That was, of course, a very sad day and a heavy responsibility to indeed say to Steve that yes, indeed we did have enough footage and he could do what he needed to do. I had contemplated beforehand how I would feel about [the fact] that Steve may die. He could have died right in the middle of when we were making the film but I also knew that he wouldn’t because he was a very strong-minded individual.

EB: He had rewritten the screenplay a few times, correct?

CG: The basic crux was there. What he would tend toward adding would be more scenes of sex with women having to do with hair and then there’s a great deal of violence in there as well. He’s not a nice guy in the movie. He wanted himself to be the bad guy.

EB: Many people who have seen the film also note how charming he is, though.

CG: Oh yeah, he was.

EB: I don’t necessarily think they’re mutually exclusive; you can be a bad guy and be a total charmer.

CG: Yeah, yeah, that’s exactly what he is in the movie. It’s a funny thing. [Laughs]

EB: [Laughs] To touch back on some of the darker undertones of the film, was there a certain beauty you wanted to bring out in the graphic qualities?

CG: Well, it’s very apparent that there’s an emotional connection that’s going on in the kind of violence that there is in the movie. If he had just written a standard autobiography, it would not have had anywhere near the emotional truth and interest that comes through by just the fact that he’s using truthful elements of his psyche within a genre structure. That, and yet he could have made a complete fantasy movie where he wasn’t in a wheelchair or he didn’t have a hair fetish. In the movie the women like him and they’re sexually attracted to him and they have sex with him and they love him, in fact. But he still ends up being very violent and killing many of them.

EB: Do you think it’s important for people to see the first one before the second?

CG: Well, my business plan is that I will always play the first film first in any city that I go to. Then, when I come back a second time, I’ll play the second film for a majority of the run but I’ll always let another showing of What Is It? be there so people can see it as well. Everything Is Fine does completely work as a film on its own. It does not have to have a prequel or sequel but I don’t wish to dismiss the importance of What Is It? as well. What Is It? is almost a thesis going into the realms of these taboo subject matters. Everything Is Fine does have taboo subject matter mainly having to do with the graphic sexuality involved. But I just, I feel that films I’d like to go into are going into territory that is not typically dealt with in the manner that I want to deal with it and I feel like What Is It? addresses all those elements and opens the doors. Like I said, it’s a thesis saying its time to be able to just explore all these things without being so concerned about whether it’s a taboo or not. Beyond the realm of that which is considered good and evil -- I certainly feel that the Steven C. Stewart film is. I’ll be touring both of these films for many years to come.

For more information go to crispinglover.com

A very special super spooky story written by Robert Ropars for SuicideGirls feat. Gogo, Radeo, Milloux, Spliff, Tita, Moxi, and Bradley. (image) [Gogo in The Twelth] A black sedan drove slowly down a long, gravel driveway. A group of models was being driven from Chicago’s O’Hare airport to a remote... more

A very special super spooky story written by Robert Ropars for SuicideGirls feat. Gogo, Radeo, Milloux, Spliff, Tita, Moxi, and Bradley.


[Gogo in The Twelth]

A black sedan drove slowly down a long, gravel driveway. A group of models was being driven from Chicago’s O’Hare airport to a remote farmhouse ninety minutes southwest of the city. The seven passengers were Suicide Girls: Gogo, Radeo, Milloux, Spliff, Tita, Moxi, and Bradley.

It was late October, and even though it was only dinner time, the sun was already near the horizon about to set. A long summer drought had left the various Autumn Blaze maples lining the long driveway nearly stripped bare of their foliage. A chilly wind blew some of their multicolored leaves across their view, illuminated by the limo’s headlights as they drifted past like spirits.

In the back, the Suicide Girls had now begun to gather their things. Gogo finished a cigarette and flicked it out the window while exhaling. Her breath turned into a smoky whistle as she saw the ancient farmhouse coming into view as the last trees were passed and they turned to approach the front porch.

“So that’s the Bellingham estate?” Gogo looked at Milloux and smiled. “How the hell did you find this place?”

Milloux smiled at her and replied, “I was in Chicago earlier this year and was looking up haunted places for our shoot. This one was remote enough for us, but not too far to get to.”

Radeo looked up from her phone as she finished a text message. “What happened here? You still haven’t told us.”

Milloux smiled and her eyes sparkled as she remembered what she’d read and the plan for the shoot. “No way! Let’s get in and settled first. I’ll share the story soon enough. The owners are letting us stay all night for our Halloween shoot…but they are sure we’ll never make it.”

The girls looked at each other and then the house with nervous smiles. Gogo smiled the broadest, excited at the idea of a scary photo shoot for Halloween. The others were anxious to stretch their legs after the long drive as soon as the limo parked. As the driver got their luggage to the aged porch, Tita and Moxi wandered over to a large tire swing hung from the maple closest to the house, the others ascended the creaky front porch steps.

Around the house was an outhouse, a large well, a silo that towered over them, a decrepit barn and behind all of these things a cornfield stretching to the horizon. As the sun set, it cast everything in bright oranges and reds and soon all would be in darkness. A security light on the barn had already come on illuminating a small area in front of it and two porch lights on either side of the door had also come on in the decreasing light.

As Gogo and Radeo walked over to a very old porch swing that rattled and drifted in a slight breeze, Milloux entered a code for the lock on the front door. The owner had added security after kids had broken in recently, and had set up a temporary number for their visit. The light turned green and she held the door for the driver who brought their things to the foot of a grand staircase. The house smelled dusty and moldy and Milloux pressed a light switch so everyone could see.

As the lights came on, a thunderous crash erupted from the porch. Milloux and the driver rushed out, the other girls stood and laughed at Gogo and Radeo. One end of the porch swing had come loose and they’d crashed. Moxi and Milloux shook their heads, helped them up, and one by one entered the creepy old house.

Milloux took care of the driver and confirmed that he would be back in the morning at 10 AM sharp. He smiled, said goodbye, got in the car, and started back down the long driveway. Bradley and Moxi watched from the front room windows as his tail lights faded from sight. Milloux closed the front door and they heard a loud metallic noise followed by some beeps.

“What was that?” asked Spliff.

Milloux smiled at Spliff who looked a bit jumpy already. “That was the front door locking.”

The others stared at her with a mixture of apprehension and fear. The girls looked down the main hallway to the back of the house, up the stairwell, at the faded and torn wallpaper and frowned at several creepy old portraits lining the wall that led to the second floor.

“Relax, the driver will be back in the morning and we’re shooting all night. Let’s get unpacked and meet in the main room in an hour ok? I brought stuff to eat and we can get our drink on. And I’ll tell you the terrible horror of Edward Bellingham and the ghosts some say still haunt this home. MMUUAAHH HAHA HA!”

“You are such an asshole!” Bradley punched Milloux in the arm and each girl grabbed their bags. Slowly they began to make their way up the creaky wood stairs. Reaching the top landing, they spread out and paired up in various bedrooms. Milloux insisted on being on her own and Moxi watched her carefully placing covered items on the bed. She was going to ask what they were, but knew Milloux had planned a night of fun and games.

Outside, the temperature continued to drop and the wind picked up. The creaking of the trees and the house around them sent shivers up and down most of their spines. Milloux was giddy with anticipation at the night ahead. She had planned that this would be a scarefest of a shoot they would all remember.

***



An hour later, the girls were gathered in the downstairs front room, a large crackling fire was burning, they’d finished eating and the girls were enjoying drinks, smoking, or sipping tea. Milloux stood and all eyes turned to her.

“Ok ladies, we’re going to have so much fun tonight. I’m so excited to be shooting all of you and we have this haunted house as the perfect backdrop. But before we get started, let me tell you the story of the house.”

Lifting her tablet, she began to read from notes she’d prepared for the trip.

“Edward Bellingham came to America with a wife and two girls, Emma and Eliza, in 1832. He had made a decent amount of money in London and sought a new life here in the Midwest. He had this place built and ran a successful farm for many years, but the period before the Civil War brought a new opportunity.

“Many slaves escaped and fled northward, most using the Underground Railroad. There was a hefty bounty for returning slaves to the South, and Bellingham devised a twisted plan. He got word out that his home was a stop on the path to freedom. But those who came down the long driveway to his farmhouse soon regretted the decision.”

Milloux paused dramatically letting her gaze cross the room. All eyes were on her.

“Edward had a tunnel built between the basement of this home and the barn we saw outside. He had his wife bring them food and clothes while he contacted members of the Klan to arrange his bounty. For a few years he managed to convince his wife that the men who took the former slaves away were helping smuggle them north. She discovered the truth one night when she overheard him talking to one of the smugglers and they had a bitter fight.

“As their girls held each other in terror in one of the rooms, the fight raged into the night until Edward lost control. He hit her so hard she fell down the stairs and her neck broke killing her right there.”

All the girls turned to follow Milloux’s finger pointing to the bottom of the stairs. The lights flickered briefly and everyone shifted nervously for a moment until they returned to normal.

“But that wasn’t the worst of his crimes. He kept up his smuggling business until one day a beautiful 15-year old Creole girl knocked on the front door. She had long since lost track of her family, and was trying to find a safe haven. The wealthy widower convinced her that staying as his house maid and nanny was her best option. It wasn’t a hard decision for her.”

The girls stared at Milloux dreading what was next in the story.

“Edward patiently let the girl, her name was Marie, get settled into her life as nanny to his daughters. He seemed like the perfect guardian with only one rule that she never enter his bedroom. One day he was out tending to the fall harvest and Marie was tidying up. For some reason we may never know, curiosity got the better of her and she entered his room.

“At first, nothing seemed out of place or particularly interesting. Then she saw the box on his desk. Made of wood, it had strange symbols carved on it. Opening it she backed away in terror and screamed. Inside was a skull with empty eyes that stared at her. Turning she ran into Edward who was standing behind her. Enraged, he grabbed her and said, ‘I told you never to come in here. You’ve upset my wife!’

“Edward choked her until she passed out and dragged her limp body to the basement. There it’s said he chained her to a wall standing up. She awoke and realized he was building a wall and he ignored her pleas and screams as he positioned brick after brick. When he finished, he could barely hear the sounds of her screams and chains. Even to this day, people hear the rattling of chains and the sounds of scratching if they linger too long in the basement.”

Gogo lit a cigarette and exhaling looked at Milloux with a combination of dread and anticipation. “What happened to his daughters?”

Milloux had an evil twinkle in her eye because she had saved the worst part for last.

“He began to have headaches and nightmares and stopped sleeping. He slowly fell into a pit of despair and became convinced his daughters were communicating with their mom’s and Marie’s spirits. They missed her and cried all the time. He knew they hated him and were plotting against him.”

Milloux paused and took a drink.

“And?” Spliff was on the edge of the tattered couch close to slipping off and falling on the ancient pine floor boards.

“Some say he tied them to scarecrow posts in the cornfield so crows could feast on them. Some say he locked them in the silo and filled it while they screamed for help choking on the dust. But some say there was plenty of room in the basement for two little girls. Nobody knows for sure, but it’s said their spirits still linger here.

“Edward slowly went insane alone with the sounds of the four women his only company. Finally, one night he ran screaming into the night and fell down the well outside to his death.”

Milloux put down her tablet computer and sat by Bradley on a chair and played with her hair.

“Wow…you really are full of shit!”

Milloux looked at Tita in surprise.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Tita looked at the others and then back at her.

“You made at least half of that up. Total bullshit.”

Bang! Upstairs, a door had slammed shut and the girls jumped and screamed in unison. Some looked really nervous while others laughed, though some of them nervously so.

“Girls it was just the wind. It’s an old place and full of gaps for the wind to get through.” Moxi did her best to reassure herself as much as the others. Then they heard a sound. Faint at first, it sounded like girls crying faintly on the second floor. Their eyes widened and they shivered. It stopped almost as suddenly as it had begun.

“That was the wind right?” Tita had a look of confusion and fear now doubting herself about Milloux’s story.

“Well I have a brand new app for us to try out some ghost hunting and seems like the spirits are ready to play.”

“An app? For ghosts?” Radeo eyed Milloux skeptically.

“Girls listen. Phones and tablets have cameras, compasses, gyroscopes, decibel meters, magnetometers, and all kinds of other sensors. We’ve all watched ghost hunter shows right?”

Most nodded remembered various reality series featuring people using all manner of gadgets to detect the paranormal.

“This app called ‘Ghostdar’ just pulls all of that together to measure changes in electromagnetic energy and such to sense when spirits may be near and how strong. Let’s try it out.”

Milloux lifted the tablet, launched the app and her face was illuminated in a green glow. Holding it up, she focused the rear camera on the stairwell and moved it up and down and then held it above her focused on the ceiling. The others ducked down to look and they saw the ceiling with an infrared view, a moving radar animation over it and all manner of numbers cycling around the screen.

“Seriously? That’s crap…”

Before Moxi could finish her thought, two green lights appeared above them and began to move around the upper area. Their eyes were wide and no one spoke.

“Sad.”

The app spoke a word that also appeared on the screen before fading away.

Gogo exhaled smoke and said, “What was that?”

“The app analyzes the energy of the spirits and tries to translate their attempts to communicate. Sometimes you get lucky and words come through.”

As they spoke, the lights faded away. They waited a few more minutes and nothing else appeared. Milloux brought the app down and when it was eye level she jumped and let out a gasp. Several of the others screamed, having moved behind her, they all saw the ghost at the same moment. Standing at the bottom of the stairs was a woman with her neck bent to one side. She said nothing, slowly turned and drifted down the hall passing out of sight. Her strong red radar contact however continued on behind the wall and stopped before the kitchen.

They were all shaking as they heard the sound of metal and then wood creaking. The radar contact faded to green and vanished.

“Dark.”

The app spoke aloud again. Then they heard something, faint at first, then louder the sound of chains rattling from the basement. Milloux lowered the tablet and swept the floor and in the far corner of the house a red contact appeared.

“It’s Marie! The spirits want us to find her. Maybe if we find her, she can move on. Come on girls!”

“No fucking way!” Bradley looked at the others and back at Milloux. “No fucking way I’m going down there.”

Milloux scowled at her. “That’s fine. You can stay up here by yourself and keep an eye on things.”

Bradley scowled at her.

“We’ll all be together that’s the key. I’ve got the app and it has built-in video and sound recorders. Let’s go.”

Milloux led the way to and down the hall toward the kitchen screen held in front of her. She paused when she realized that the door to the basement was opened a few inches. She continued with the girls close behind and the floor boards creaked as did the walls around them and trees outside in the chilly October night.

Milloux reached out and pulled the door fully open. The hinges were extremely rusty and it was very noisy. Seeing a light switch to her left, she flicked it on and they saw a long wooden staircase, the steps open to the space behind them leading into darkness. It appeared that another light was on further onward, but the darkness fought against the light pools making it hard to see clearly. The lights flickered and they could now more clearly hear the sound of chains and something else that sounded like scratching.

Slowly, the nervous and giggling group started down the dusty, creaky stairs. The wind that howled above and the roof that rattled began to be muffled by the basement walls. Milloux reached the bottom and turned and as they gathered behind her, the saw a large red contact in the far corner currently in darkness.

“Ok girls, let’s get…”

Bang! The door at the top of the stairs slammed shut and they screamed as they spun around. Milloux held the tablet up, but didn’t see any ghost contacts above them.

“It’s ok, stupid drafty hous…”

At that moment, before Milloux could finish her thought there was a crackling sound like static electricity and the lights flickered. The basement was a big space filled in every direction with boxes, furniture, and all manner of debris. There were walkways through the mounds leading to the far wall and two lights hung flickering along the path.

“Let’s keep going. That’s got to be Marie back there.”

“Ok I’m going to try and speak to the spirits so everyone be quiet. Marie? We mean you know harm. We are here as friends and want to do some photos here.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Moxi asked through chattering teeth. Whether the cold, the fear or both caused the rattling even she was unsure.

They were now halfway towards the back wall. The rattling and scratching sounds were louder and now they heard a woman weeping.

“Trapped.”

The girls stopped.

“It’s her?” Gogo asked as the word faded.

“It has to be. She’s trapped and we can free her. Isn’t this exciting?”

Before anyone could respond, a floor board creaked upstairs sending a small shower of dust downward.

“Oh my god, what the fuck?” Spliff adjusted her glasses as she and the others looked up at the wood boards above. Milloux held up the tablet, and now a large red contact was above them slowly moving through the house. It faded to green and disappeared quickly.

“Spirits of this house, we are here as friends. We want to help you and learn from you.”

Only silence. Milloux got them moving again and now they were nearly three quarters of the way to the back wall. The red light ahead of them faded and the sounds of weeping, scratching and rattling ceased. Milloux scanned the back area and found no more contacts.

“Wreath…”

“Why the hell did it say that?” Moxi asked.

“Sometimes the words aren’t clear to the app I think.”

“You think?” Gogo was getting angry and scared at the same time.

“Wreath…”

“Why did it say it again?” Radeo was now terrified and the repeated odd word wasn’t helping matters.

Milloux looked concerned for the first time and wasn’t sure what to do.

“Maybe we should…”

Behind and above them, the door at the top of the stairs slowly creaked open. They heard a single footstep, then another on the creaky steps. A heavy, unseen set of feet slowly descended into the basement. At the same time, the lights began to flicker and with a pop went out leaving them in darkness save for the tablet glow.

The girls stood frozen in terror, momentarily blinded as their eyes adjusted to the sudden inky blackness. Slowly, Milloux raised the tablet to the stairs. Their eyes widened as they saw a bright red contact over a man who stood staring at them in old fashioned clothes. His eyes were completely black.

“Wreath…”

“Who the fuck is that and why does it keep saying ‘Wreath?’” Radeo was shaking and her words were uneven.

“It’s Edward. And it’s not getting the word right maybe.” She paused and said, “Is that you Edward? We mean you no harm. What are you trying to tell us?”

The man’s right hand lifted and he pointed at them and disappeared. The radar beeped and a large red contact appeared behind them. Milloux and the girls spun around and as the tablet focus its infrared view they saw Edward right behind them, empty black eye sockets gaping and his hands came up quickly towards them.

“Wrath.”

As the app translated the spirit’s voice, Milloux dropped it. The tablet shattered on the cold stone floor. Darkness and panic were followed by screams and silence.

THE END



Robert Ropars is a Chicago based horror author, liberal/progressive, Doctor Who fanatic and bullying surTHRIVEor. You can get more of him on Kindle and Nook. For more, visit his Wordpress Library.

by SG's Team Agony feat. Fabrizia Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls. (image) [Fabrizia in Cottonwood] Q: I just found that my boyfriend is in fact a werewolf. However, I’ve got an issue with, err, zoophilia. And tomorrow... more

by SG's Team Agony feat. Fabrizia

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Fabrizia in Cottonwood]

Q: I just found that my boyfriend is in fact a werewolf. However, I’ve got an issue with, err, zoophilia. And tomorrow will be full moon, and we have already planned a romantic dinner with candles and some French wine. I don´t want to hurt his feelings, but figure it might be best to back out. What do you think?

A: Sigh. Werewolves can be soooo inconsiderate. I mean, really, planning a romantic dinner during a full moon? What was he thinking? The bigger question you might want to ask is, were you the actual dinner? Perhaps you can cancel this time, then coordinate your future dates around his "time of the month" and have your own girls night out when he is in full wolf-mode. Personally, I would stick to dating humans. They are less hairy, smelly, and most important...they actually exist!

Fabrizia
xoxo

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Aaron Colter (image) [Clio Suicide in Magica Sexualis] Anthony Alvarado is an inquisitive man. Most of us grew up playing make-believe, pretending to be different people or different things. We played games like Bloody Mary, and often wondered how much we were told was real and how much in our minds... more

by Aaron Colter


[Clio Suicide in Magica Sexualis]

Anthony Alvarado is an inquisitive man. Most of us grew up playing make-believe, pretending to be different people or different things. We played games like Bloody Mary, and often wondered how much we were told was real and how much in our minds what we perceived could be. Although magic and the occult have been seen as destructive elements in American society due to the puritanical roots of our religious culture, beings like monsters, wizards, ghosts and other worlds are no less improbable than the miracles of the Bible. Such strong beliefs, of any nature, can affect the way we perceive reality. Heaven, hell, angles and demons, how many people would swear on their very life that such manifestations are real?

Though children shed their belief in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, millions of humans still trick their minds into believing fantastic creations. After being struck by a profound revelation, of sorts, Alvarado decided to write a book about the many ways a person can start to open those channels of accepting the impossible. His curiosity is documented in a new book titled D.I.Y. Magic, a short and easy-to-read guide to some seemingly opposing practical actions a person can take to start to hack their brain into believing all sorts of reality bending events. No reason why Christian fundamentalists should have all the fun playing inside their heads. But, be warned, sometimes, if you want to swim in the chaotic, hallucinating waters of the psyche, then you'll have to dive in the deep end.

Alvarado was kind enough to answer some questions about his inspiration for writing D.I.Y. Magic, which should be the perfect way to prepare that brain of yours for a truly frightening Halloween.


Aaron Colter: What made you want to write DIY Magic? It seems that the methods you mention have already been documented in other sources.

Anthony Alvarado: Some of the approaches have already been written about a ton, and so I didn't try to re-write the book on stuff like lucid dreaming or flotation tanks. And stuff like Tarot cards I added a new twist to them: what happens when you design your own Tarot cards?

Some methods, there is very little information out there. Like keeping yourself suspended during the hypnogogic state for example, that's pretty rare. I think a lot of people have stumbled on this trick from different paths, and been like, "Wow, this works, am I the only one who knows about this?" So yeah I hope for the reader it's like a good mixtape: some stuff is like an old classic in a new context, and some stuff is brand new for you.



AC: I'm assuming you tried all of the tactics mentioned in the book? Which was the most effective? Were there things you tried that didn't work at all?

AA: Yeah, I did try all of the tactics. I'm sure my girlfriend thought I was going crazy. Every day I'd be doing something weird. Taking naps with a big spoon in my hand and an empty bowl, or lying on the couch with ping-pong balls covering my eyes and listening to white noise, super loud.

Out of everything I tried, I was really surprised at how effective flotation tanks are. And I'm surprised that pretty much everybody hasn't tried these yet. One trip will make you a believer. The stuff that didn't work consistently I didn't include in the book. That doesn't mean that it might not work for some people: chanting, and dancing, and drumming – there are a whole bunch of rituals that are some people's cup of tea but not mine.

AC: Are there methods you still use today?

AA: Absolutely! I'm a fiction writer and I'm constantly searching for new ways to get into the deep end of whatever project I'm working on. My hope for this book is that it will find its way not only into the hands of people interested in magic, but writers, storytellers, poets, comics artists, musicians. My book is spinach for the muscles of the imagination! I've been playing around a lot lately with using Tarot and other idea/symbol generating engines to add an element of chance. I also have found that the more attention I pay to dreams in the morning, the more likely I am to have a flash of inspiration for a story while taking my morning shower.

AC: What's your favorite tip or suggestion in the book?

AA: I kind of like the simple ones. Like grow a beard or buy a weird looking jacket you would never normally wear, and watch how much it changes your day-to-day, because people react to you differently.

AC: How did you go about selecting the illustrations in the book?

AA: I was lucky to have my friend Jason Leivan, the owner of Floating World comics, curate all of the illustrations. He is really plugged into the underground comics and art scene, and the roster of artists he pulled together for D.I.Y. Magic is awesome. I felt honored to have illustrations by artists like Farel Dalrymple and Ron Regé, Jr. because I've been reading their comics for years.

AC: What's the most significant paranormal or outside-of-reality event you've ever experienced?

AA: I had a full blown mystic epiphany type experience, some years ago, that happened suddenly while I was walking past an oak tree. I won't go into detail about it here, because it would take pages and pages. It was basically this intense realization of . . . the incredible strangeness that the world exists. You know, why is there something instead of nothing? But it was overpowering. I could hardly talk for 24 hours. And it seemingly came out of nowhere. I was like, what the heck was that? Later, it was through reading about other people's experiences, that I started getting into a lot of the ideas that eventually became D.I.Y. Magic.

I've since learned that you can't really convey the reality of a mystic experience. If you try, it just ends up sounding cheesy, like listening to somebody else's drug trip. You can only write down pointers on how to get there.

AC: Do you think most modern mages, wizards, psychics, yogis, etc. are legit? How do you find the true believers from the snake oil salesmen? And, in the end, if you believe in it, does it even matter?

AA: What's the Bible say about judge a tree by its fruit? It's like that. I think you can tell by . . . well, is it working for them? And does it really work for you? The spell, or the yoga pose, or whatever.

At the same time, you've got a good point, does it matter? There is a teacher at the yoga studio I go to who is so amazingly cheesy, vapid, and New Agey, that I have a hard time not cracking up during downward dog. But his classes are just as demanding a workout as the other yoga teachers, so I guess it works. At least if all you want from the class is a good workout.

AC: If you could only give one piece of practical advice to someone trying to shake up the mundane, what would it be?

AA: Meditate. Just take 10 minutes every morning, sit down and empty out your thoughts. It does so much for you, and if everybody in the world did it we would be living in a different reality.





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Rob Zombie is not one to rest on his laurels. Indeed, his rate of productivity in the realm of music and film means he’s one of the most interviewed artists on SuicideGirls – this being his sixth one-on-one conversation with SG. Mondo Sex Head, a collection of Zombie classics remixed and reinvented... more

Rob Zombie is not one to rest on his laurels. Indeed, his rate of productivity in the realm of music and film means he’s one of the most interviewed artists on SuicideGirls – this being his sixth one-on-one conversation with SG.

Mondo Sex Head, a collection of Zombie classics remixed and reinvented by the likes of Photek, Big Black Delta and Ki:Theory, has just been released, and a new studio album is currently in the works. In the live arena, Zombie recently signed on to co-headline with Marilyn Manson on the Twins of Evil Tour. The 28-date US jaunt kicks off on September 28th, and perhaps fittingly ends on Halloween.

Meanwhile, on the film front, Zombie is in the final stages of post-production on Lords of Salem, a movie he wrote, directed, and produced in association with the team behind the Paranormal Activity franchise. It’s the latest entry in a filmography that includes such titles as House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects and Halloweens I and II. However, not one to be typecast, Zombie’s next movie marks a distinct departure from the cosy confines of the horror genre. We caught up with Zombie to find out more…

Nicole Powers: Where are you calling in from?

Rob Zombie: I’m in the recording studio right now working on a new record.

NP: So this is the new studio album that I’ve been hearing rumors of.

RZ: Yes. Yes. We’ve been working on it for a while. We should be done in about a month.

NP: How does this record differ from your previous ones?

RZ: I’m really into this record right now. We have a long way to go, but it’s the most free sounding record I feel like I’ve made in a long, long time. As time has gone on I feel at different moments in my career I’ve made a record that’s significant for that time period. With White Zombie, Astro-Creep was the significant record at that time for that band. Then the next one was Hellbilly Deluxe, my first solo record. You make other records and they’re cool and they’re good, they have good songs, but you haven’t really turned the page to a new thing. I feel like this record is the beginning of the next phase of what I’m doing. It’s just a big crazy live sounding record. I just love it. It’s hard to describe, but every once in a while a creative vein opens up and you head off in a direction that’s just…you don’t question it because it doesn’t happen that often, let’s put it that way.

NP: I guess if you think about too much, you’ll over analyze it and then you’ll fuck it up, so you almost don’t want to question it.

RZ: Yeah, I just like the idea of doing it right. Also, one of the things that I think is the reason for this freedom is, once you have success, whether you know it or not, you subconsciously want to achieve more success or maintain the success that you’ve had. So, obviously, if you write a hit song, you try to write other hit songs. That’s sort of the nature of the game. But, with the fact that nobody really buys records anymore, I’m not really sure what constitutes a hit record or a hit song. Those rules don’t quite apply anymore because you’re not going to sell millions and millions of records no matter what you do. It just doesn’t happen anymore really. So, because of that, you feel like, fuck it, who gives a shit? And because you feel that way, you almost feel like a new band does. You’re not chasing the dragon anymore, you’re just being creative and coming up with great stuff. And that’s usually when you do have hits, strangely enough, because you’re just creatively free at that moment.

NP: It’s the nature of need; When you need something too much, you often don’t get it.

RZ: Yeah, basically. Because you just can’t manufacture these things. Most of the time whenever I’ve had a “hit song” or a big record it’s always come from something that someone said “Oh, I don’t even like that song” [about] when you first record it. So it’s totally unpredictable. That’s why you always have to do what you find satisfying. You can never predict anything.

NP: So who are you in the studio with right now?

RZ: Right now I’m just here with the producer [Bob Marlette]. The rest of the band is not here right now. They were here. They all went home for a while. I’m just laying down vocal tracks and working on the arrangements and doing different things, so I’m just here by myself.

NP: What’s the current line-up that you’re working with?

RZ: The line-up is the same that it has been for a while. John 5 is still the guitar player, he’s been in the band now for over seven years. Piggy D is still playing bass. He’s been with me for about six years. And Ginger Fish is still playing drums, and he’s been around now for a year and a half maybe.

NP: And you guys are heading out on the "Twins of Evil Tour” with Marilyn Manson in September. That’s a tour that should’ve happened a long time ago.

RZ: Yeah. It seems like an obvious tour, but I’m kind of glad it didn’t because I’m running out of people to tour with. It’s nice that at this stage of the game you can still put a tour together and it still seems exciting. Right before you called I got word that the ticket sales are just huge for the tour. So it’s great. People are into it.

NP: I understand you’re going to be doing quite a bit of production on this tour.

RZ: Yes. A lot of production.

NP: What can people expect from the shows?

RZ: Well, it’s going to be huge and amazing but I’m not going to tell anyone because we’re building it now and I want there to be some element of surprise.

NP: I like that. I’m also really intrigued by this Lords of Salem movie that you’ve been working on. When are we likely to see it?

RZ: The movie is almost done. I just have to mix the sound and do a couple of little things like that in post-production, then it will be out…This time it was a little bit screwier with the movie because I was trying to make a record at the same time as the movie, going back and forth. Usually when I do one thing, I don’t do the other, and I take long breaks between. This time I was trying to see if I could balance both at the same time, and because of that I wasn’t able to lock in a definite release date yet, so I don’t actually know when the movie is coming out yet.

NP: Right. You’ve got a lot on your plate because you’ve also just bought the rights to the Philadelphia Flyers / Broad Street Bullies’ story. Why do you have an affinity to that tale?

RZ: Well, basically, I remember that story from when I was a kid. I was a big hockey fan when I was young in the early ‘70s. I remember all these characters and just the story of it all. I like sports movies, even if I don’t know anything about the story, and this is a great story. This is one of those stories that everyone could get into even if they hate hockey and don’t like sports. The characters involved are so outrageous and ridiculous. I’ve just been looking for something different to do too. Because making horror movies is great, but that’s not the only type of movies I want to make or the only type of movies I like. This is the perfect film to take me up out of that world.

NP: I was going to say it’s a massive departure for you from the horror genre, which is where you’ve been typecast. That must be kind of exciting for you. I mean, this is a movie that Ron Howard might make, but I’m sure you’re going to do it in a very different way.

RZ: Well, yeah, because it’s a really crazy story. It’s a really violent story. The reason these guys became known is they basically were the ones that brought fighting and all this stuff to hockey. It’s a very bruising, bloody movie. They basically intimidated their way to the championship. But, yeah, I don’t like being typecast as one thing. Not that I never want to make another horror movie, and maybe I’ll make 100 more, but I don’t want to have to do it. I want to want to do it. I don’t like getting stuck in anything.

NP: Does that go with music? Could we see a Rob Zombie ambient album for example?

RZ: Well, I’ve always tried to vary up the sound a lot. I didn’t want to get stuck in a thing like, oh, it has to be this, it has to just be heavy guitars and drums. That’s why, over the years, we’ve brought in mandolins, and sitars, and acoustic guitars, and hundred piece orchestras, and all kinds of stuff in all the records. Because I didn’t want to get trapped in that thing where it has to be this, and any time you varied from it the fans don’t like it. I think sometimes that becomes just learned behavior. I always liked bands that had that vibe where they could do anything and the fans are accepting of it, because that’s part of the journey with the band. I never wanted to be, oh, it has to be exactly like this or it’s not right – that’s just seems so boring to me.

NP: I noticed on this remix album that there’s a lot of light and shade. I know it’s a collaboration between you and KCRW’s Jason Bentley, which is a very intelligent combination. It’s a great mix of mixes. I was expecting it to be really heavy and grungy, and on the more industrial side of dance music, but there’s a complete across the board mix. How did the project come about? Where these mixes that were done specifically for this album? Or are they ones that have happened over the years that you’ve just been collating?

RZ: No, they were done specifically for the album. They’ve been compiled over the last six months…I just wanted it to be all over the place. I didn’t want them to do what the fans would expect it to be because that’s boring. I know some of the fans will love it and some of them will hate it, but that’s going to happen anyway with everything. You can’t guard against that. Pretty much, it is what it is. What I like about these remixes too is that they play better in places. You want to hear it at a club with people out and about…

NP: Do you have a particular favorite track?

RZ: I like a lot of them. I mean, the ones I picked were my favorites, because there were more that I didn’t like quite as much. I like different ones for different reasons. I liked “Foxy, Foxy [Ki:Theory Remix]” because I actually thought it was kind of better than the original song, the groove in it. I like “Living Dead Girl [Photek Remix]” just because it was this long atmospheric thing that almost had nothing to do with the original song. That was kind of cool. Truthfully, I wasn’t really loving any of it until one night when I could clear my head. I was just driving in LA at night and the lights were zooming by, and I listened to the record and that’s when I got into it. Sometimes I find that as life goes on, it’s cluttering your mind all the time. It’s hard to just focus on the music…Most of the time people are listening to music and fussing around on their phone or the computer, they’re always doing something else. It’s really only in the car that I find that I can focus on it. There’s this zen thing, driving and listening to music. That was the moment where I discovered the record for myself.

NP: I feel with music that sometimes it’s a situational thing. There’s music that I specifically like to listen to on trains, and music I like for parties, and music I like when I’m hanging out by the pool, and they’re very different vibes.

RZ: Yeah. Exactly…If you’re in a club, a song that might sound really annoying on the radio comes on booming in the club and you go, “Ah this is fucking great.” It works great in that situation, but you wouldn’t want to hear it somewhere else, so I totally agree. I just wish…there was a day where I used to just have a record or an album and sit in my bed and just listen to it and that’s literally all I did…Now I find that it’s hard to just listen to music, there’s always something else going on.

NP: Plus, I don’t think kids do that anymore. I remember going to the record store, and when I bought a record, I couldn’t wait to get it home. Then I’d play it over and over and over again until I sent my parents crazy. Now, if kids are listening to music, they’re doing it while watching a video on YouTube. And while they’re watching the video on YouTube, they’ve probably also got a game going on too.

RZ: Yeah, they’re texting and doing other things.

NP: Music is much more the background for life.

RZ: Music is not as important as it once was. Yeah, it’s just one of the many things now. Before it used to be the only thing. I kind of miss that. But that’s life, that’s the way it is.

NP: Talking about situations and music, the new studio album, where could you see someone having the perfect moment with it?

RZ: Well, for me, I think for this record, there’s two ways. When I was a kid, I used to always love listening to music on headphones in my bedroom at night. Because there was just nothing and you were just sinking into the music so hardcore that it’d almost become like an altered state….Now, the other way I really like is driving in a car. That’s when everything sounds great to me.

NP: Is there anything else that you’re listening to right now? Other people’s music that’s hitting the sweet spot?

RZ: No, not really. It’s funny, what I usually like to listen to when I’m in the car, I like to listen to the radio, because I do miss sometimes, it doesn’t really happen much, but I want to hear the DJs and hear the songs and the concerts coming up. Even though you get stuck listening to the commercials…I have satellite radio, but I think sometimes that’s very isolating…I still like that feeling of there’s a song, and there’s a concert announcement. I feel like there’s a community of people around this music. Whereas when you listen to satellite radio, somewhere there’s a robot that’s playing a group of songs to you and it’s not connected to anything. A great example of this, I remember reading an interview with Tim Burton and he said that he really likes watching movies on television because he said there’s something about knowing that if you were sitting down to watch that movie at that moment so was somebody else. It’s like we’re all watching this movie at the same time. But when you DVR or it’s on your TiVo, there’s no feeling of that. Everybody is in their own little bubble, and that’s cool too, but there was always something about like, you hear a concert announcement, the band is coming to town, they’re playing this song, and there felt this excitement about things that I don’t feel quite as much anymore.

NP: Right. Like the Olympic ceremony tonight that’s going to be on TV, that’s going to be one of those event things that a lot of people are going to watch. And then people can talk about it the next day and have something in common. People used to have more of that with music when there was more community based radio.

RZ: Yeah…That’s a good example. Everything used to be like that. Any stupid TV show, if you didn’t watch it that night, you didn’t watch it. So the next day, everybody knew what it was, whatever TV show it might be that you’re talking about or song that you hear on the radio.

NP: Right, it’s not just the automation of radio programming, it’s also things like TiVo that are robbing of us that community spirit too.

RZ: Yeah. And it goes back to what you said before about going to the record store. First day the record comes out there’s a line of people to buy it. It’s exciting. As opposed to, I don’t know, is it really that exciting to go to iTunes and hit purchase? [laughs] That’s not very exciting. It’s pretty boring.

NP: I think that’s why the live shows are all the more important. That’s almost the only time now where you feel that kind of shared excitement.

RZ: Yeah, that’s why I love touring and that’s why I love playing shows. That’s really the only thing that has not changed at all. Well, actually, let me take that back, it’s changed a little bit, but for the most part it hasn’t changed at all. The one thing that has change – and I fucking hate this – is people filming the show with their phones.

NP: I knew you were going to say that.

RZ: And it’s not because they’re bootlegging – I don’t give a shit about that. It’s just because I can tell they’re not watching the show. They’re staring at their phone trying not to jiggle their hand too much. And you look out at a sea of that and you’re like, this is ridiculous. These guys stand there as still as possible so they that they can go home and relive the concert later on their crappy little phone they shot it on. It’s so dumb.

NP: I get annoyed with that too. As a fan, I just want grab the phone off people who do that and shake them, and say like, experience this with me, I want to feel your excitement. Because those people suck the energy out of a crowd.

RZ: Yeah, you’re right. People don’t understand, the show is good because the band feeds off the energy of the crowd. And if the energy of the crowd is not there because everybody is filming, the show is not going to be as good, and it just becomes an endless cycle…

NP: And I think it’s fucking rude to just stand there with your cell phone.

RZ: Yeah, what we do a lot of times is I’ll just stop the show and wait for everyone to put their phone away…As soon as they put their phones away, you can feel the show jump up to a whole other level. It’s so funny.

by Aadie Suicide (image) I am sure you have heard of them, the walking dead, the zombies. Flesh falling off there limbs, drained of blood, intellectually dull and hungry for brains – a walking dead horror story phenomena. But have you seen one or met one? Would you really want too? Looks can be deceiving,... more

by Aadie Suicide



I am sure you have heard of them, the walking dead, the zombies. Flesh falling off there limbs, drained of blood, intellectually dull and hungry for brains – a walking dead horror story phenomena. But have you seen one or met one? Would you really want too? Looks can be deceiving, I had the pleasure of interviewing a Mr Rick Genest a.k.a. Rico the Zombie. This zombie art collecting gentlemen is full of heart, phenomenal inner strength (he survived a brain tumor at age 15), and intelligence to boot. With the majority of his body covered in ink inspired by the rotting corpse, you may know him as 'Zombie boy,' a Canadian artist and tattoo clad fashion model.

Aadie Suicide: Where did you grow up?

Rick Genest: From the ground, from the grave; alive with no pulse but a craving for brains. Growing up happened in different places and in different ways. I loved spending the better half of my time keeping it in the streets of Montreal.

AS: How do you like to spend your free time?

RG: Getting high on rooftops and low under bridges. Telling jokes and lighting smokes.

AS: Do you have any pets?

RG: My shadows were twin sister and brother Rottweiler cross German Sheppards, Skullz and Bonez. When they passed, I became more involved in circus…I recently gave away my 8 foot Albino Boa, Lucifer, due to excessive traveling and lack of time for her.

AS: What did you want to be when you where little?

RG: I do believe I did become what I wanted to be. I still want to creep more in horror movies, as well as freak more at sideshows. Asides from these things, I would like to spend more down time on taxidermy projects.

AS: If you weren’t the Zombie Boy that you are today, what career path would you be on and why?

RG: I always thought that zombies could do anything. Just more dead-ish.

AS: I understand your artwork is a tribute to the horror movie genre, what is your favorite director and film?

RG: There are so many masterpieces, it would be hard to choose. Ultimately, Tobe Hooper’s 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

AS: What was the first horror movie you can recall seeing and how old where you?

RG: The earliest I can remember, Tremors, was the first to traumatize me. But it was The Adams Family and Batman that got to me first. As for comic books, Morbius The Living Vampire and Ghost Rider were my favorites.

AS: When you were 16 you got first Tattoo; What was it?

RG: My first tattoo was an outline of a Jolly Roger, but instead of a skull, a living zombie’s head.

AS: You were featured in Lady Gaga’s music video for “Born This Way.” How did that come about?

RG: As an illustrated man, street busker, and performing artist, I had not been a stranger to photography. Being tattooed as a living skeleton, I found work easily that way. I’ve preformed in stage shows, carnivals, landed small parts on TV, worked once as a talent on a movie named Carny staring Lou Diamond Philips. I worked at a pirate themed bar and often get stopped in the street for pictures. I had already been published in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not, Bizarre, and National Geographic, as well as others. One afternoon, a man named Ludo stopped me in the street and offered me a sum to model one afternoon for a fashion magazine named Dressed to Kill. This was the shoot that got the attention of Nicola Formichetti. Thierry Mugler is the brand name that Nicola Formichetti hired me to work for, and soon after, he offered me an appearance in Lady Gaga’s “Born this Way” video. I love showbiz, and it makes it so much more fun when you get to work with positively charged people like Gaga. She is one down cat – passionate about what she does, very head on earth, and treats everyone with respect.

AS: What is the general reaction you get from people who see you in public? Positive, negative or mixed?

RG: Most people can tell I’m just a tattooed man, but, previous to working with Gaga, often authority figures, the old fashioned, the elderly, and the upper class, would be quick to judge.

AS: Have you had to cover up any work you no longer favored or just to complete the art of the rotting cadaver? And if so, what was it?

RG: Many years ago I got my hyena head- Baphomet covered with a biohazard symbol.

AS: Since GaGa’s discovery of you, you have kind of exploded. How does that feel?

RG: I have a lot of work to do and Gaga gave me the chance to get things done. If any of you creeps out there are reading this, I’m the right monster for the job!

AS: Are you enjoying your new found fame?

RG: I have always loved entertainment and have been entertaining since I first discovered I could pick my nose. I’m grateful I’ve still got blood left.

AS: I saw a video clip of makeup artists completely covering over your tattoos. When you looked in the mirror, what was that like for you? How did that feel?

RG: The job was fun, and the people’s reaction funnier. I love practical jokes!

AS: You have your own Character Figure! That for me is basically one of the highest honors. What was that like for you?

RG: I have been turned into a metal statue and also a wax statue. Honestly, I was waiting for a downsized plastic guy. He is very well made; I thank the good people at Tonner.

AS: Any words of wisdom for people who have never had a tattoo but are thinking of getting one?

RG: Chewing gum helps with the tough spots.

AS: Do you have anything else you would like to say?

RG: Stay fresh or smell bad J

Photos by Colin Singer. For more info visit RickGenest.com/.

Though Kinky Friedman was born in Chicago everyone knows he has the heart of a Texan. Friedman first came to notice as a musician with the Kinky Friedman and The Texas Jewboys which created satirical country music. Soon Friedman brought his satire up to a new level with his novels using a fictionalized... more

Though Kinky Friedman was born in Chicago everyone knows he has the heart of a Texan. Friedman first came to notice as a musician with the Kinky Friedman and The Texas Jewboys which created satirical country music. Soon Friedman brought his satire up to a new level with his novels using a fictionalized version of himself as a private detective solving crimes in New York City. Friedman’s most recent bid came as he ran for governor of Texas this past midterm election which he lost to Rick Perry.

Right on the tail end of the campaign Friedman released the book, The Christmas Pig, which is about a fictionalized land where the king needs an artist to create a nativity scene. The king decides to hire an artistic but mute child prodigy. While the child is creating the scene, he becomes friends with a talking pig who helps him along the way.

Buy The Christmas Pig

Daniel Robert Epstein: What are you up to today?

Kinky Friedman: Well, I’m on a book signing tour for The Christmas Pig.

DRE: I loved the book, by the way.

KF: You’ve read it already, wow. You don’t waste much time Daniel. It’s a lovely little Christmas book that has turned out to be one of my best efforts.

DRE: [laughs] We Jews are always inundated with Christmas and Christmas stories and a lot of them are done by Jews. What made you decide to write Christmas Pig?

KF: Kind of like Dostoyevsky I took an assignment to write a celebrity Christmas book to earn gambling money for Vegas. It turned out to be a better book than I anticipated because sometimes when you set out to write the great American novel or paint your masterpiece, you never do. It’s always done accidentally. The great work is done obliquely by people who are trying to pay the rent or gambling debts, either one will work. Once you can get that mindset going you have a chance. But Christmas Pig goes beyond Christianity and Judaism. As Thomas Payne said on his deathbed, “The world is my country; to do good is my religion.”

DRE: Have you ever known a kid like Benjamin?

KF: Yeah, I have. In fact I know several but I know one very much like that and I suspect there are lots more. His autism is academic and a lot of autistic kids are brilliant artists. I also knew a pig once.

DRE: It wasn’t a talking pig I assume.

KF: No but close though. I’ve never really known a king though. Mark Twain only met one king. It was the king of Hawaii.

DRE: Why did they offer you a Christmas book?

KF: I don’t know. That was David Rosenthal’s idea at Simon & Schuster. It’s worked out well because the wonderful Germans have already translated it with illustrations for next Christmas. If the Germans like it, the rest of the world can’t be far behind.

DRE: Was part of the fun you being a Jewish guy writing a Christmas story?

KF: Well, I kind of am a Judeo-Christian. I contend that I have Jesus and Moses in my heart and they were both good Jewish boys that got in a little trouble with the government. I don’t think of myself as a Jewish guy. I’m pretty damn open about being Jewish, but none of it makes a lick of sense. Heroes of mine are Father Damien, a Catholic priest who died of leprosy over 100 years ago. Martin Luther King was one. Gandhi, Breaker Morant. A lot of people who weren’t Jewish are my heroes. Jesus was just one of a great line of misunderstood people that I admire.

DRE: Do you celebrate Christmas?

KF: I don’t celebrate anything but hunting accidents. I don’t celebrate holidays. I don’t like them.

DRE: Why is that?

KF: Because they’re stultifying dull. I think life is moments, that’s all. I don’t think you can contrive having a Jewish singles of Dallas Purim party and make it soulful.

DRE: [laughs] Was that your pig on the cover of The Christmas Pig?

KF: Might as well have been. No, my pig has already gone to Jesus.

DRE: I read that you save many animals. Do you eat meat though?

KF: Yes. I have been a vegetarian in the past although I still love a big, hairy steak. Do I eat pork? No. I don’t eat pork for spiritual reasons not for any narrow, stupid religious reasons. I like pigs, I think they’re really smart, good and I think we’re very deceitful toward them. Pigs are getting them a very bad deal. It’s like the horse sslaughter plants in Texas that I’m trying to close. They’re shipping meat to France for people to eat. After you get past closing the horse slaughter plants then you should close the cattle slaughter plants too.

DRE: Are you still involved with the Max Soffar case?

KF: Yeah, I don’t know where it’s going to go except that I’m now closer friends with the governor than I’ve ever been. That’s one that’s really an injustice in a lot of respects. I don’t think Max did this crime and I don’t think that there’s much evidence that he did either. Yet two juries have convicted him. Why did that happen? When was the last time we executed a rich man in Texas? The answer is never.

DRE: That’s crazy.

KF: Yeah so it’s probably true in New York. You wonderful, progressive motherfuckers. You are probably the most parochial, provincial group of people on the whole planet, people around New York. Particularly Manhattan because they look down on you as well, they don’t think Queens exists.

DRE: Well, I just moved to Queens.

KF: Then you just step up. It’s a real place in the world. The Christmas Pig was written for people. It wasn’t written for Jewish intellectuals. This is a book for people who can read between the lines. Really being Jewish or being Christian is pretty damn similar.

DRE: If they follow the basic rules.

KF: Yeah, which they never do. Those are the ones they totally ignore. That’s why Israel’s main support comes from the Christian right, not the Democratic left who ought to support Israel if they look at the Lord.

DRE: Do you still create music?

KF: As little as possible.

DRE: Why is that?

KF: Because I never have time. I hang around musicians a lot. A lot of them are good friends of mine. I like music but mostly I’m writing and campaigning even though that’s over with. But I may get back to music though I doubt it. I say musicians can run this country better than politicians although we won’t get a lot done in the mornings. We’ll work late and we’ll be honest.

DRE: Obviously you didn’t win the bid for governor in Texas.

KF: Well, the people have spoken the bastards, as Hunter Thompson said. The people have mumbled actually. There was a pretty apathetic turn out. I gave Texas my phone number and she never got back to me. But the whole point of the Alamo was not that they won or lost but the fact that they stood up against insurmountable odds and it led right to the battle of San Jacinto and the formation of Texas. The Alamo, while not being a technical victory, was what sparked and continues to spark the imagination of millions of people. It was like when Kissinger asked Chairman Mao if he thought the French Revolution made a difference or not and Chairman Mao said it was too soon to tell. That’s where we are at this point.

DRE: What were your expectations?

KF: I thought the people would turn out. Had they voted in big numbers, we would have won. They did not. As long as the turnout is low, the Crips and the Bloods are always going to control.

DRE: I know they attacked you for a few things you said. Do you feel like you should have said those things?

KF: No, not at all. Particularly the Democrats proved themselves to be vicious and the main victim was the truth. That was the casualty. I would have looked to the Democrats to stand up to the truth but they didn’t. They pretended that they didn’t understand what satire was. In other words, they pretended that they didn’t understand Mark Twain or Voltaire or Borat or Blazing Saddles. They pretended that I was a raging racist like the guy in To Kill a Mockingbird. To paraphrase Mark Twain, he said that the three most precious things in America are Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Conscience and the prudence never to use either one of them.

DRE: What do you think of Governor Rick Perry?

KF: Well, he called me yesterday. He’s been very gracious. He said that he could use a guy like me to reach the people he can’t reach, which are a lot of Texans. The vast majority of them are black. So who knows, there may be some bridge building here. We might both end up working for the people of Texas. I like him personally. I don’t think he’s been really been an activist type of governor in the past six years. There are a lot of areas that I don’t think are doing well such as education, immigration and environment. Those are big ones.

DRE: How do you feel about the Democrats getting control of Congress?

KF: Totally irrelevant. Just a different set of lobbyists moving to Washington.

DRE: You don’t think there’ll be any change for the good?

KF: Very unlikely. I think I’ve really had enough of the Republicans and the Democrats. The two party system is offering us some of the worst candidates that you’ve ever seen. If the best we can do is George Bush and John Kerry we’ve got a serious problem. We can’t even nominate guys like McCain and Rudy [Giuliani] for starters because of the system. George Washington was right, we don’t need two political parties. All government needs is common sense and common honesty.

DRE: When will that happen? Never?

KF: Never. Well, Texas had an opportunity.

DRE: You think you’ll run again?

KF: Pretty doubtful, I’m getting pretty old. I’m 62 years old which is too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.

DRE: When did you start doing the animal rescue?

KF: We opened Utopia Rescue Ranch eight years ago and it’s a real eye opener to deal with abused and stray animals and to see what people have done. We’ve adopted over 1500 animals in the past eight years; it’s a really great thing.

DRE: Was there something specific that led you to doing that or was it a decision?

KF: It was a dream. Cousin Nancy runs the ranch. She wrote a book called The Road to Utopia: How Kinky, Tony, and I Saved More Animals than Noah. That’s the whole story of the rescue ranch.

DRE: What’s the next project you’re working on?

KF: Maybe I’ll do a book on the campaign. We’ll see. I don’t think I’ll do another mystery book until I hear the literary world clamoring for it’s return.

DRE: We’d love to get you a membership to SuicideGirls.

KF: Well the problem I have is that I don’t use the internet at all. I think it’s the work of Satan. I don’t have email or any of that shit. Even Willie Nelson doesn’t approve of that. Willie was a little bit irritated when I told him I don’t use email.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck

by Damon Martin (image) [Bob and Kemper Suicide in Droids You're Looking For] For years, George Lucas has said that he wanted to pass along the Star Wars franchise to a new generation of fans, and with a $4 billion sale he's done just that. Lucas, who was the 100-percent sole owner of Lucasfilm,... more

by Damon Martin


[Bob and Kemper Suicide in Droids You're Looking For]

For years, George Lucas has said that he wanted to pass along the Star Wars franchise to a new generation of fans, and with a $4 billion sale he's done just that.

Lucas, who was the 100-percent sole owner of Lucasfilm, sold the property to Disney on Tuesday for a reported $4 billion sale price. Half of the transaction will be paid to Lucas in cash, with the other half coming in the form of 40 million shares of stock.

The purchase of Lucasfilm will also ensure a new Star Wars movie currently titled "Episode 7" will make it into theaters in 2015.

Current Lucasfilm co-chairman Kathleen Kennedy will now become Lucasfilm President, reporting directly to Disney head Alan Horn. Kennedy will also oversee the Star Wars franchise, and along with George Lucas, will begin immediate development on Star Wars: Episode 7. This will be the first major Star Wars film in theaters since Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith, which was released in 2005.

“For the past 35 years, one of my greatest pleasures has been to see Star Wars passed from one generation to the next,” said George Lucas, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Lucasfilm via press release. “It’s now time for me to pass Star Wars on to a new generation of filmmakers. I’ve always believed that Star Wars could live beyond me, and I thought it was important to set up the transition during my lifetime.

"I’m confident that with Lucasfilm under the leadership of Kathleen Kennedy, and having a new home within the Disney organization, Star Wars will certainly live on and flourish for many generations to come. Disney’s reach and experience give Lucasfilm the opportunity to blaze new trails in film, television, interactive media, theme parks, live entertainment, and consumer products.”

Disney's purchase of Lucasfilm adds onto its already impressive list of companies already under the corporation's control. Over the last few years, Disney has purchased Marvel Comics and Pixar Films, and now Lucasfilm joins the family as well.

Disney executives announced on a conference call with media that following the release of Star Wars: Episode 7, they will continue with episodes 8 and 9, with plans in place to release a new Star Wars film "every 2 to 3 years" after that. Executives stated that Episode 8 will likely land in theaters in 2017, followed by Episode 9 in 2019.

The purchase also includes the entire Indiana Jones franchise, Industrial Light and Magic, and Skywalker Sound. Disney also announced that the Star Wars franchise will become an integral part of their theme parks world wide.

But fans are no doubt wondering, will this move introduce a new generation to a rebranded and reinvigorated version of Star Wars or will the franchise be watered down with new films that ruin the legacy of the original trilogy and the iconic status of the sci-fi legend?

(image) by Rachel Allshiny Like most people, I use my Twitter account in a variety of ways. I interact with my friends, share interesting parts of my day, report on protest actions I attend, and check for on-the-ground news from other parts of the country and world. I also follow a variety of politicians... more

by Rachel Allshiny

Like most people, I use my Twitter account in a variety of ways. I interact with my friends, share interesting parts of my day, report on protest actions I attend, and check for on-the-ground news from other parts of the country and world. I also follow a variety of politicians and aspiring politicians, despite my disenchantment with most who currently hold or seek to hold public office. It's always useful to know what propaganda they are spreading.

When I received a direct message from Joe Biden last week, however, it didn't feel like the personalized interaction I suspect his campaign had intended. It felt like an invasion of privacy. What was so compelling that he felt he had to reach out to me in the backwoods of Twitter, where I chat with my closest friends? Had he finally noticed that I'd been deleting his emails for the past year (and then some), to the point that now they automatically land in my spam folder? Had the President himself noticed this and asked his buddy to talk to me on his behalf? Y'know, to soften me up a little. Or maybe the Vice President just wanted to remind me that no form of "private" communication is truly private when it comes to the insidious reach of the government.

Whatever the reason, I was creeped out. Then I opened the message and read:



Oh! He just wanted me to use my loyal Twitter following to help get him re-elected. Well, when you put it that way...err…no…I REFUSE!


The following is my response, sent via Twitter to @JoeBiden and @Obama2012.


Dear @JoeBiden,


Thank you for your kind offer and for noting my influence on Twitter. I built that influence by encouraging critical thought and discourse in politics and all else. Therefore, I will be happy to retweet any @Obama2012 tweets on the following subjects.


1. The unconstitutional nature of indefinite detention of citizens under NDAA.

2. The number of civilian casualties caused by US drone attacks.

3. The immediate closure of our detention camp at Guantanamo Bay.

4. The need for ACTUAL energy independence, i.e. clean and renewable energy sources.

5. The importance of unions, including teachers' unions, in securing workers' rights.

6. The proper use of punctuation, even on Twitter (see previous item).

7. Working to overturn the Supreme Court's decision re: Citizens United.

8. Addressing gender equality in terms beyond sexual, reproductive, or wages.

(More on 8: how insulting is it that even in discussions of equal rights we make women into sexual/reproduction objects.)

9. Making marriage available to all who seek it, regardless of the genders of those involved.

10. Single-payer healthcare.

11. Prosecuting war criminals for their crimes instead of whistleblowers for exposing them.

That's a partial list, @JoeBiden. Please DM me again if @Obama2012 starts talking about any of those and I'll be sure to follow/RT.

by Kristin Canty Rawesome, Venice, CA (video) [The Third And Final Multi-Agency Rawesome Raid] In the movie, Farmageddon…The Unseen War on American Family Farms, one of the stories covered was of a raid that occurred in Venice, CA, at a private food buying club called Rawesome. Whenever I was lucky... more

by Kristin Canty

Rawesome, Venice, CA


[The Third And Final Multi-Agency Rawesome Raid]

In the movie, Farmageddon…The Unseen War on American Family Farms, one of the stories covered was of a raid that occurred in Venice, CA, at a private food buying club called Rawesome. Whenever I was lucky enough to be in the vicinity and able to visit this club, it was like being a kid in a candy store…or, well, a raw foods lover in a raw foods store!

I was able to buy raw dairy products such as grass fed yogurt, butter, cream, cheese, and raw chocolate mousse – is that dairy? Raw meat and homemade delicacies such as ceviche and marinated raw meat salads were also available, along with salad dressings, pure olive and other freshly made oils, and a wide variety of fruits, vegetables, and fermented drinks…all organic and raw.

This may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but for me it was pure bliss. I was filming during one visit, and had the pleasure of having people come up to me to tell me their raw food healing stories. I heard many first person accounts of how the symptoms of diseases such as MS, Parkinson’s, cancer, arthritis, and other conditions, were alleviated greatly by a raw food diet.

Unfortunately, the FDA does not like stories of people being healed from food, and they don’t like raw foods in general. In the case of Rawesome Foods, multiple agencies (both local and federal) raided it three times. The last time, it was closed down. One of the club’s many suppliers, Sharon Palmer (a farmer who had provided raw goat milk for a time), the manager, James Stewart, and a Weston A Price Chapter leader, Victoria Bloch (who volunteered for Sharon), were all charged with multiple felonies. There were no actual felonies in the case, however, all three were charged with conspiring together to commit misdemeanor level offenses, which magically turned the charges into felonies.


[The Rawesome 3: Felonious Fresh Milk Dealers]

Thirteen months later, just before their preliminary hearing, Victoria Bloch and Sharon Palmer were both offered plea deals, which they accepted. Victoria pled guilty to one misdemeanor count of selling unlabeled milk and accepted a $100 fine and two years’ summary probation. Sharon Palmer pled guilty to one misdemeanor count of storing milk in unsanitary conditions, since on the day she was raided she was milking her goats to feed her livestock (Rawesome had picked up their milk up a day earlier). She received a $1,300 fine, 40 hours of community service, and three years’ summary probation. Both Victoria and Sharon would have preferred to have taken this case to a jury trial. But unfortunately, neither had the money to cover the high cost of defending themselves in a trial that would have lasted at least two weeks, perhaps more. James is still in jail, as he was considered a flight risk, and is awaiting either trial or the opportunity to plead out of the case.

There is still a separate Ventura County case awaiting both James and Sharon. And there is a change.org petition to set them free that was written by a Rawesome Foods club member. I fear that the Rawesome community has been torn apart by these circumstances. No one ever became sick from foods they had gotten at Rawesome Foods. Certainly, nobody ever complained about having access to some of the freshest, most delicious foods available. And nobody ever complained about the fresh goats milk Sharon provided to the club, as well as to a few of her own farm’s CSA members. On the contrary, I met happy, vibrant, healthy people who enjoyed the foods they sourced from these two wonderful people.

If you would like to learn more or help, please read and sign the Change.org petition.

***

Meadowsweet Farm, Lodi, NY



Steve and Barbara Smith, farmers in upstate New York were raided and shut down by New York State Department of Agriculture & Markets for their private buying club that provided raw milk, yogurt and cheese to many happy customers.

They went to court after the shutdown, and hoped a judge would find that the Department of Agriculture & Markets did not have authority over their private buying club. Unfortunately, the judge ruled against them, and said that the Department of Agriculture & Markets did have authority to shut down their LLC.

They were therefore forced to dissolve their club. They then sold the entire herd to the former members of the club. Currently, Steve and Barbara are under contract with the owners of the herd to milk and maintain the herd for them. They have had this herd share for two years now and they have a waitlist of people that would like to join in on purchasing a share. Unfortunately it is very difficult to obtain raw milk, so farms that supply it often have long waiting lists of customers.

In New York, as in every state except Wisconsin, it is legal to drink milk from your own cow and since the members own the cows, hopefully the Department of Agriculture & Markets willrespect that and leave them alone from now on.

The demand for raw dairy products is not going to go away, so hopefully more farms and farmers like Meadowsweet will pop up! We are thinking of the Smith family and their farm as the drought hit them hard and they had to sell off their beef herd in order to have enough hay to keep the dairy going through the winter.

For more information visit: meadowsweetfarm.com/

***

For background information on this, please go to farmageddonmovie.com, and watch the documentary, Farmageddon…The Unseen War On American Family Farms.

Related Posts
Multi-Agency Armed Rawesome Raid: Major Controlled Substance / Health Food Cartel Arrested
SG Interview with Kristin Canty – Farmageddon

by SG's Team Agony feat. Perdita Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls. (image) [Perdita in Eames] Q. I'm 27, and I haven't had sex. Apparently, this is noteworthy and some kind of BFD. I'm not religious. I'm... more

by SG's Team Agony feat. Perdita

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Perdita in Eames]

Q. I'm 27, and I haven't had sex. Apparently, this is noteworthy and some kind of BFD. I'm not religious. I'm not waiting for marriage. I just haven't found someone I like and trust enough. When I was younger, my first serious boyfriend did not treat me well, which included some incidents that, looking back, were assaults, though not rape. So I think it's understandable that after that, I'm not looking to care about someone, have sex with them, and then be treated badly. I'd rather get to know someone first, before getting naked and making myself even more vulnerable. I'd rather feel safe that that isn't going to happen again.

I'd actually really like to be having sex, and I've wanted to for some time. But I can't seem to find anyone I'm attracted to, who is also attracted to me, who's cool with not stripping down immediately. I've dated several guys in the last couple of years, but when they want to have sex and I say I'd like to wait, they lose interest. No, I don't explain my past experience, because I don't believe I am obligated to give a good enough reason to postpone sex. A good enough reason should be, "I don't want to yet." I also shouldn't have to fall all over myself reassuring them that yes, I will have sex with them at some point in the future, as if they'd otherwise be wasting their time dating me.

I haven't had success meeting anyone at work or in my grad school classes, or anywhere else. I've asked friends, and no one knows anyone to set me up with. So my dating has primarily been guys I meet on online dating websites. Is there some hidden, untapped market for non-religious, smart, funny, feminist guys who don't think you're a nutjob if you don't want bone them before you even know them very well? If so, please share, or tell me what the heck I'm doing wrong here.

Signed,

Ladypants.

A: Hi Ladypants,

First of all, I’m so sorry to hear you are a victim of assault; it’s a terrible ordeal that no one should have to go through once, let alone multiple times. Given your past experiences I understand why you are so cautious of trusting others, and you have every right to feel this way.

However communication is key in building a strong, trusting relationship, and it has to go both ways. Your personal information is your business, but I think it will be healthier for everyone involved if you are a little more forward in regards to your expectations of the relationship from the beginning. It’s possible to say: “I’m very interested in you, I would like to get to know you more, and I’m definitely physically attracted to you. But due to some past negative experiences, I would like to wait to have sex.” Be direct and honest, because a little bit of honesty and openness goes a long way towards building trust.

And while you shouldn’t fall all over yourself to reassure someone, I don’t think it’s unfair to have multiple discussions on the topic, because you’re not the only person in the relationship. It’s important to for the other person to respect your feelings, but you also need to remember to respect their feelings as well.

As for the sex issue, if you want to wait for the “perfect moment” that’s totally cool, but sometimes you can miss quite a few good opportunities that way. Ultimately you need to take your time, and do what’s right for you. Just remember that communication is key, and that it takes two people to make a relationship successful.

Perdita

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by SG's Team Agony feat. Perdita Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls. (image) [Perdita in Eames] Q. I'm 27, and I haven't had sex. Apparently, this is noteworthy and some kind of BFD. I'm not religious. I'm... more

by SG's Team Agony feat. Perdita

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Perdita in Eames]

Q. I'm 27, and I haven't had sex. Apparently, this is noteworthy and some kind of BFD. I'm not religious. I'm not waiting for marriage. I just haven't found someone I like and trust enough. When I was younger, my first serious boyfriend did not treat me well, which included some incidents that, looking back, were assaults, though not rape. So I think it's understandable that after that, I'm not looking to care about someone, have sex with them, and then be treated badly. I'd rather get to know someone first, before getting naked and making myself even more vulnerable. I'd rather feel safe that that isn't going to happen again.

I'd actually really like to be having sex, and I've wanted to for some time. But I can't seem to find anyone I'm attracted to, who is also attracted to me, who's cool with not stripping down immediately. I've dated several guys in the last couple of years, but when they want to have sex and I say I'd like to wait, they lose interest. No, I don't explain my past experience, because I don't believe I am obligated to give a good enough reason to postpone sex. A good enough reason should be, "I don't want to yet." I also shouldn't have to fall all over myself reassuring them that yes, I will have sex with them at some point in the future, as if they'd otherwise be wasting their time dating me.

I haven't had success meeting anyone at work or in my grad school classes, or anywhere else. I've asked friends, and no one knows anyone to set me up with. So my dating has primarily been guys I meet on online dating websites. Is there some hidden, untapped market for non-religious, smart, funny, feminist guys who don't think you're a nutjob if you don't want bone them before you even know them very well? If so, please share, or tell me what the heck I'm doing wrong here.

Signed,

Ladypants.

A: Hi Ladypants,

First of all, I’m so sorry to hear you are a victim of assault; it’s a terrible ordeal that no one should have to go through once, let alone multiple times. Given your past experiences I understand why you are so cautious of trusting others, and you have every right to feel this way.

However communication is key in building a strong, trusting relationship, and it has to go both ways. Your personal information is your business, but I think it will be healthier for everyone involved if you are a little more forward in regards to your expectations of the relationship from the beginning. It’s possible to say: “I’m very interested in you, I would like to get to know you more, and I’m definitely physically attracted to you. But due to some past negative experiences, I would like to wait to have sex.” Be direct and honest, because a little bit of honesty and openness goes a long way towards building trust.

And while you shouldn’t fall all over yourself to reassure someone, I don’t think it’s unfair to have multiple discussions on the topic, because you’re not the only person in the relationship. It’s important to for the other person to respect your feelings, but you also need to remember to respect their feelings as well.

As for the sex issue, if you want to wait for the “perfect moment” that’s totally cool, but sometimes you can miss quite a few good opportunities that way. Ultimately you need to take your time, and do what’s right for you. Just remember that communication is key, and that it takes two people to make a relationship successful.

Perdita

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

I’ve done about 800 original interviews for SuicideGirls and probably a couple thousand more for other venues, so I think it's fair to say that I’ve gotten pretty good at working around people’s tertiary expressions like “oh man” and “yeah.” But when you’ve got a legend like Bootsy Collins... more

I’ve done about 800 original interviews for SuicideGirls and probably a couple thousand more for other venues, so I think it's fair to say that I’ve gotten pretty good at working around people’s tertiary expressions like “oh man” and “yeah.” But when you’ve got a legend like Bootsy Collins saying "yeah mama, baby and man," it would be sacrilegious to delete it.

Collins is best known as one of the co-founders of the seminal 1970’s funk group Parliament Funkadelic, but I really got into his work in the early 90’s when he teamed up with Bill Laswell and Buckethead. As Collins and I discuss in this interview, that was a golden era--and it's still going on today. Bootsy’s latest album, Christmas is 4 Ever, features many new songs by Bootsy and his crew.

Buy Christmas Is 4 Ever

Daniel Robert Epstein: How are you?

Bootsy Collins: Everything’s cool man. Just working down here in the studio trying to keep it together. Everything’s coming along great.

DRE: That’s cool. What are you working on?

BC: Actually we’re working on new theme song for the Bengals. We’re going to the Super Bowl this year. So I’ve got to get it together.

DRE: Are you going to be performing at the Super Bowl too?

BC: Well, we’ll see. We’re working at it. Oh yeah. We’re going to see what happens.

DRE: Who’s up there in the studio with you?

BC: Actually I’m just laying a little bed down by myself here. Then later on we’ve got some guys coming in, a couple of keyboard players and a drummer. We’re just trying to piece it together a little bit here.

DRE: It’s really awesome to talk to you. I’ve been a fan for so long.

BC: Aww yeah. Like I said, we’ve been kicking around, working with different people and trying to keep it all happening. It’s feeling pretty good right about now. It’s coming back around.

DRE: What made you want to do a Christmas album?

BC: I’ve wanted to do a Christmas album forever, but I never really got the chance or the time to really think about doing it and putting the effort in it. Shout Factory had contacted me about doing one and I was like, “Wow. I always wanted to do one of those anyway.” It was like one of those right on time things. Some of those songs were from before so it was good to go back and revisit that stuff.

DRE: Have any of the tracks been ones that have been laying dormant and then you decided to spruce them up a little bit?

BC: We redid I’d Rather Be with You and we dedicated it to Roger Troutman. Me and Zapp [Troutman] redid that. That was one that’s been out before on I’d Rather Be with You on Bootsy’s Rubber Band’s first album. Then the other one would probably be Christmas is 4 Ever. I did that maybe about three or four years ago as a track and just never finished it or never done nothing with it. It seemed like it was perfect for this record. It actually turned out to be the title song.

DRE: I would imagine that you’re a big fan of Christmas. You dress a little Christmasy.

BC: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I’ve got to be, not Santa Claus, but Boota Claus. Then Bootolph too. Not Rudolph, but Bootolph, the funky soul reindeer.

DRE: Are you religious at all?

BC: Not religious. I got my higher level of anticipation, but I wouldn’t say I’m religious. I do live on another frequency.

DRE: What’s your Christmas like?

BC: It’s just having a good time and watching people just get off and have a good time, receiving gifts. Just that joy of seeing people get off. It’s like a big 1999 party that you always look forward to. It may be the last time, so you better go ahead and just enjoy yourself with it while it’s happening. We go all out for it. We just have a blast with it.

DRE: Do you do a show around Christmas time?

BC: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. One time we did one out in San Francisco. It was like a carnival nude thing. It was wild, man. They had them freak scenes going on out in San Francisco anyway. They asked us to play at this big carnival freak show on Christmas. It was wild, but it was cool. I guess they said, “Let’s get them crazy mugs out here, man.”

DRE: Of course you’ve got some of your guys who often work with you, like Buckethead, when did the two of you first meet?

BC: It was about 1990. We met back then and actually I did his first CD, Bucketheadland. We recorded it here when I first got my little studio happening. Actually that’s what broke my studio in. We just got back there and just started jamming and coming up with stuff, man. It was fun. That was like a Christmas man. So yeah.

DRE: Who first put you two guys together?

BC: Actually Bucket sent me a video out of the clear blue. When I saw it, I was like “This cat is gone. This is the cat I like.” He had a note with that video that said he had two heroes and they were Michael Jackson and Bootsy Collins. I was like, “Wow. What was that all about?” I said, “I’ve got to meet this cat.” Sure enough, I was working with Bill Laswell at the time and he was saying “Let’s do some sessions or something together.” That’s when it all started.

DRE: That kicked off a great run you, Buckethead and Laswell had.

BC: Yeah, man. Yeah. That was fun time. That was all the way back to musicianship and just having fun playing and vibing in the studio together. That was great time, man. Every musician looks forward to that time instead of the headaches of serious responsibility. That’s what throws everything off.

DRE: Is this Christmas album the first time you’ve worked with Charlie Daniels?

BC: Yeah it is. Actually right now I’m doing that hit song of his…

DRE: The Devil Went Down to Georgia?

BC: Yeah. I’m redoing that for him for his album. It’s going to be an ongoing relationship here. We just hooked up. We were doing Monday Night Football thing on ESPN with Hank Williams. That was fun. It was like all these different crazies from different bands, Cheap Trick, Aerosmith, The Roots, Little Richard. This was the craziest all-star band in the world. We all on the set, man, just grooving. Charlie came over and I started doing this little bass line. He was like “Yeah. Yeah. I want to record that. I want to record it.” So we hooked up man and just going on and on from there.

DRE: It’s cool to see that you’re working with Snoop Dogg too.

BC: Yeah, well Snoop and I go back a ways. I’ve been working with him for awhile now. For him to show up on the album, it was like, man you’ve got to do it. We wanted this to be relating back to what I do, but at the same time put a tad of today in it so it’ll go on and on. Who better to do that than the Snoopster?

DRE: With bands like Outkast so popular right now, do you feel like funk is at a good place?

BC: Yeah, but I would say that it has evolved into other music forms and other musical versions of funk. It’s not funk as we knew it, but it is funk as today describes it as. I can’t take nothing away from it because everything evolves and changes. To me, that’s the process. It’s about evolving and changing. Everything will not remain the same so as long as I’m here. I’ll always add what I add to the table. That’s the fun part of it. You take that and you add it with whatever somebody’s doing today and it changes the flavor. I like that. After about five or six years of doing the same thing and doing all the same groups you want to stretch out and do some different things. That’s why you’ve got me with Bucket and me with Deee-Lite and me with Keith Richards, Cyndi Lauper. That stuff to me is challenging and it’s fun because it keeps you sharp. It keeps you on it. You don’t keep repeating yourself and doing the same thing.

DRE: When you produce work for someone else or with someone else, of course you’re in there playing and doing vocals, but do you actually sit down and produce like the way Laswell might produce?

BC: Yeah. I learned a lot from Laswell. Oh man. Come on. Heck yeah. I’m pulled more towards that now. Now after I’ve laid the bed down, then I would come and do my part. That’s different from the way I used to when I would just go out with the band and just come up with the groove, put it down and somebody else was engineering and producing. But now I’ve changed seats. It’s fun for me. You’re talking about challenges. That’s a challenge. I like it. It gives me balance. It makes me feel like I’m not doing the same thing over and over. I think the time with Bill Laswell really helped open my mind, helped get me with a whole lot of different artists with different music approaches and just watching him and the way he worked opened up my whole producing mind. It showed me that it just wasn’t about playing and performing. It’s about how to get what you really want.

DRE: Do you ever see you and Andre 3000 doing something together?

BC: Actually, we had talked about doing something before Outkast even got big. They always would come to my shows even before anybody even knew anything about them. They make fresh work now by taking stuff and putting it with what they do. It’s like new because they’re doing it. To me that’s a part of the evolution. You have to put a new face on some old stuff and then it becomes new. That’s exactly what they’re doing. They’re adding their techniques and their vision of what it was all about today. They came up with a whole new thing. They did just what Funkadelic did back in the day. When Funkadelic hit the scene, it was so crazy. It was only certain people that really got it. We didn’t have all of maximum exposure like Outkast is getting from record companies, videos and all that. It was just people that would dare come to the gig. That’s the only way we got exposure. That went on until around 1976. That’s when we started really getting some record play.

DRE: Do you listen to a lot of new music?

BC: Not a lot but I try to stay up on certain things that’s going on, but I’ve never been a fan of listening to a lot of music because I was always the one that was like a receiver from the other planet. I didn’t want nothing to distract me or interpret or influence me in any way. I probably listen more now than I used to.

DRE: How much of your work is done with computers now?

BC: I still record analog. We do all our mixing on ProTools. The Christmas record was mixed all on ProTools. I’m in the process of learning ProTools myself now which is a challenge. I just want to be on top of things. I just can’t see myself just putting myself in a box and saying, “Well this is it. It’s either my way or the highway.” I just can’t see that. However the world goes or however it evolves, I feel like I can take what I got and add it with it. That’s my take on all that.

DRE: Is the reason that you record analog just because that’s what’s in your studio?

BC: Actually, I’ve got both analog and digital. I just got a brand new Mackie X200. It’s a touch screen. It’s got two computers in it. I finally learned how to work that mug about three weeks ago. I’ve been at it for about three or four months. At first I wouldn’t touch it. I was scared of it. Once I got on it, man, I can’t get off of it. Everything is so easy. You just press the screen. You don’t have to plug this in or plug that in. It’s like, “Wow, man. This is crazy.” It’s just preparing me for my ProTools adventure. I just built another building to have more musicians in. The room is great and I want to put in the HD ProTools system, the big one. We want to have a balance going on. We want real live drums and the pads with the sounds you can mess with. We want to have the best of both worlds.

DRE: Your look with the clothes and all that is very famous but I can’t imagine you sitting around your house dressed that way.

BC: Well, you know what? It took me a long time to really realize that you can take them glasses off, man. You can come out of those leather crazy outfits. You don’t have to sleep in them. It took me a long time to really realize I didn’t have to dress like that at home and everywhere because people would be everywhere I was at. It was like, “Wow. So I got to be Bootsy all the time.” That came from just trying to create that monster. Once he was created, that mug came back and wanted to bite me, man. I was like, “Wow. Wait a minute. Frankenstein trying to get me, man.” So I had to learn how to calm down, take the big boots off, put some sneakers on and chill out in the woods a little bit. Yeah, that was a learning process for me. I think I got it down now.

DRE: How old are you now?

BC: I’m 54 now and I’ll be 55 on October 26th.

DRE: Happy Birthday in advance.

BC: Oh, thank you, man. Thank you.

DRE: I was lucky enough to see the Parliament reunion tour about ten years ago with you and George [Clinton] and everybody. Do you guys see doing something like that again?

BC: Probably. It depends on George and what he really wants to do. We actually did the grand opening of Experience Music Project in Seattle with James Brown, the Godfather. We was the original JB's. Then we did it with Parliament Funkadelic. It was the best of both worlds, man. Those were two extremes. To be a part of both of those things was like wow. Anytime that opportunity comes around, it’s like, “Man this is incredible.” I look forward to it.

DRE: So you and George are getting along?

BC: Oh yeah. We have our little spats here and there, but I think with musicians, it has always been a continuous relationship. There’s just something about musicians. They don’t think like producers not to say something producers and singers and stuff like that, but musicians got a whole another way of thinking. I think that’s where I came from. I know how musicians think. Now that I got a chance to work with a lot of producers and actually become one I know how all of them think now. It’s good because it gives you a balance of how far to take different things.

DRE: Besides the Super Bowl, what else are you working on?

BC: I’m working with a couple of groups. I’m now talking to P-Nut, the 311 bass player about doing a whole album with Buckethead, myself and Brain. It got started when P-Nut was here about four weeks ago. We had started laying a couple of tracks down. It’s coming along real good. Buckethead will be here in October and we’re going to do about a whole month down here. He’s going to stay off the road. I’m going to just be here. We’re going to just add on to what P-Nut did and then cut some more tracks too.

DRE: Are you designing any more equipment for yourself?

BC: Well there’s the Traben Bootzilla bass and now we’re getting ready to do a Star bass. Actually they were just here last week getting all fitted up and how I want it, how I want the electronics because the electronics are very important. So we went over that. You’ll be hearing something about that around the end of November.

DRE: I read you may be composing music for a movie called Beowulf.

BC: Yeah, I’m working on that too. I’m doing stuff for different scenes like Viking music, Asian stuff. The things that Bill Laswell does, I’m getting a chance to really experience now. So far everybody seems to be very pleased. So it’s another challenge, man. I love challenges, man. You get down there and you don’t know what the heck you’re doing. You just go ahead and go for it, man. That, to me, is the challenge. Then when you play it for somebody and they just get this big smile on their face, it’s like wow. Yeah. It’s real cool, man. It’s real cool to go ahead and not be in that box, man. I’ve worked so hard to try to get out of just that one box. I think it’s really paying off now. I think it’s really a good thing for me because I get a chance to work in different areas that I really want to do. We just finished the soundtrack for the cartoon Loonatics Unleashed. That’ll be out really soon and actually I have a character that is going to be on Loonatics Unleashed in 2007. All that stuff people said George and I was really crazy for even talking about then, is happening now.

DRE: Who should play you when they do a P-Funk biopic movie?

BC: Who should play me? Wow. Probably Andre. He would fit right in on that one. He would be the bomb, man. Heck yeah. That would be more closer to home.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck