If I didn’t know better I would think David Lynch was Italian. He uses his hands to describe ideas more than anyone I have ever met. It’s fascinating to watch this man communicate. He pulls out the cigarette pack, the lighter, moves the ashtray, lights the cigarette, puts the pack away the and then,... more

If I didn’t know better I would think David Lynch was Italian. He uses his hands to describe ideas more than anyone I have ever met. It’s fascinating to watch this man communicate. He pulls out the cigarette pack, the lighter, moves the ashtray, lights the cigarette, puts the pack away the and then, once his hands are free, resumes emphasizing his words with enigmatic gestures. Lynch, a four-time Oscar nominee, remains one of the most enigmatic American filmmakers. He first entered the feature world with Eraserhead, which was a five-year journey. Since then he’s directed the film adaptation of Dune, Blue Velvet, co-created the cult television series Twin Peaks and directed many other features. His latest picture, Inland Empire, is the first feature he has shot on video. He's even taking a stab at self-distribution. Inland Empire was another five year journey from start to finish, and once again Lynch is working with old friends and collaborators such as Justin Theroux, Harry Dean Stanton and perhaps his most talented muse, Laura Dern. Dern plays an actor who, after a long dry spell, lands a coveted role in a big film. While filming, Dern's character and the other actors are told that the film is actually a remake of another picture that was never completed for mysterious reasons. Along the way Dern plays two other characters and seems to segue from reality to fantasy without any warning. In other words, Inland Empire is classic Lynch.

Check out the official website for Inland Empire

Daniel Robert Epstein: Hello David, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve been a fan of yours since I saw The Elephant Man as a kid.

David Lynch: Did it freak you out?

DRE: Yes, it did.

DL: Doggone.

DRE: Isn’t that what you wanted to do?

DL: No [laughs] but it’s tough for a little kid. I remember someone telling me they saw The Elephant Man when they were eight. I think it was a little too much.

DRE: I might have seen it when I was nine or ten.

DL: Uh-huh.

DRE: I had nightmares about your elephant scene.

DL: Right, sure.

DRE: It was very scary. Elephants were friendly when I was a kid.

DL: Uh-huh [laughs].

DRE: I look at Inland Empire as more of an art piece than a feature film. Do you see it that way?

DL: No I don’t but I’ve heard people say something like that.

DRE: Do you see a narrative in it?

DL: Yes.

DRE: How many times do I have to see it until I discover the narrative?

DL: You’d only have to see it once. Well, you might have to see it a couple times, but it’s there.

DRE: It reminded me of that old quote of yours from when you first got into film, where you said that you wanted to see the pictures move. Inland Empire feels like you are using the paintbrush to go in many directions. Is that more of an editing process or are you already thinking about this stuff when you’re shooting?

DL: It is weird. It is all from ideas and then the ideas tell you everything. But you get to a point where the ideas are gathered and now you’re getting close to a whole thing, a sequence is indicated pretty clearly. Then there’s a point where for the sake of the whole, another thing happens. When you finally see the whole thing and react to that you see that there’s much more work to be done and then there’s sometimes rearrangements and deletions, maybe even something new that you never thought you were going to use. So it’s a process but driven by the ideas.

DRE: Watching Inland Empire is a harrowing experience for the viewer. Is creating it as harrowing?

DL: When you get an idea it’s like seeing it in a movie so it’s not so much as harrowing, it’s like thrilling. It fires you up because then you know what you’re going to do. You get an idea, you love the idea and you love the way cinema is able to translate that idea. Those things are what drive the boat for me. It’s not so harrowing, but if you get a fragment of a whole, that’s usually the way it happens. Starts with fragments, then an unknown thing opens up and that’s sometimes harrowing, but beautifully harrowing because you don’t know what’s there and you want to know.

DRE: Is it true that you were writing scenes right before you shot them?

DL: No, not right before I shot them, I’d write them before I shot them but not necessarily right before [laughs]. Now a couple of times I wrote them the day before, because I was in a place where I had to take advantage of an idea that was there. It was like a blurred, veiled inkling and then this thing happens and you focus on it and it comes into focus and you see it and you write it down. I was in places where I needed to do something there because I’d be leaving.

DRE: The scene where the prostitutes do the song and dance number to The Loco-Motion reminded me of Lost Highway where in the middle of the movie Robert Loggia freaks on the guy on the highway and also the Naomi Watts audition scene in Mulholland Drive. These are very impressive, in-your-face scenes. Do those things liven it up for you or is that all just part of the process?

DL: It’s part of the process. Different scenes do different things and when you’ve got nine girls dancing to The Loco-Motion or something like that, it’s got to be in the liveliness department.

DRE: Does a scene like that energize the movie?

DL: No, it’s not like you say, “Oh, I need something here.” The idea came along for it. It is not that I feel I need something and then would make something to fill that need. The idea is what’s doing it.

DRE: A few years ago I interviewed David Cronenberg. Now, I’m not comparing the two of you.

DL: Good.

DRE: Too many people do that. I asked him if he puts certain things in his movies to tweak the audience and he told me that if he were to do that it would be more like he was tweaking himself. That seems to jibe with what you were saying with just putting something in a film.

DL: Yes, that would be a real false note and I feel like if you’re true to the ideas and you work on it until you realize those ideas and they feel correct based on the idea, then they have a chance of feeling correct for others. Even if you’re going on a intuitive feel, if you’re true to those ideals, sometimes they’ve got these harmonics, if you dick with them, you might ruin the harmonics. They would be bad things and people would start smelling a rat. You may not even understand those harmonics, but somebody out there might and it’s true on that level and it’s true on the harmonic levels. So you’ve got to be real careful.

DRE: Are the harmonics ever not correct?

DL: No, they have to be. If the notes, the chords are correct, the harmonics are going to be correct. But you may not understand the beauty of the harmonics but somebody else might. If you’ve been true to these notes, they’ve got a chance to appreciate some other thing. On Eraserhead, I don’t remember what it was but I had the feeling that I appreciated some other level of it later, but I wasn’t even aware of it when I did it. It’s that thing.

DRE: Your past films are so recognizable and famous for having great, lush cinematography and beautiful colors. Even though Inland Empire does have those things, it is in a much different way.

DL: It was because I was shooting DV so the quality isn’t film quality. But it is it’s own quality. For projection in theaters it needs to go to film, so you’ve got a certain quality resolution DV up-res-ed to Hi Def and then put on film. All these processes are opportunities to me. They keep adding something that’s really magical and beautiful.

DRE: Besides it being shot on video did you try to shoot it the way you did your other films?

DL: I sometimes put it on the tripod and light it but sometimes it’s floating. Something happened because I’m holding the camera more on this and when you hold the camera you find yourself moving based on the feeling you’re getting from the scene and I think that’s a secretive act. You’re looking and listening and you are just doing things that you wouldn’t do if you had an operator. You wouldn’t be able to tell him in time. It’s more like you’re in there and you’re doing things that you couldn’t have done before.

DRE: Did the idea of the movie come before the idea of self-distributing it?

DL: Oh yeah. People would tell me that I’ve got a three hour picture that no one understands. [laughs] But I long for the 14 year old girls in the Midwest to fall in love with Inland Empire and embrace it. That would be so cool. I don’t see why it couldn’t happen but there’s a whole bunch of things happening and I don’t know all of it at all. It’s a feeling that the studios are just following the music industry. The music industry used to be a big advantage to artists and then those advantages started going down and down and down. To the point where they say, Jack give me your final album and maybe we’ll distribute it. They’re going down low enough so that you say, “Well wait a minute. I’m going to do the same amount of work, take this advance and that’s the last nickel I’m ever going to see.” You don’t see another nickel even if your film is doing good. How depressing is that? So I’d rather go a different route and take my chances. It’s a little bit thrilling to do it. It is a large amount of work but I’m getting to meet the people. I’m getting to meet the theater owners and I’m taking a hair more responsibility than in the past. I think it’s the way of the future.

DRE: I saw the video of you with the cow in Los Angeles on Youtube, are ventures like that something you want to be a part of?

DL: It is what’s just going to happen, but for me, I’m still hanging on to the theatrical experience as the best. But it won’t be too long before there won’t be any DVDs. We will be downloading our films and what you do with it is up to you but I would recommend squirting it on a big wall with speakers in a dark room and seeing it all the way through. Kill the phones so you have that experience and you can go into another world. But a lot of people are going to see it on their phones and their computers but in my book they won’t have seen the film.

DRE: Was it very important to have actors you’ve worked with before like Laura [Dern] and Justin [Theroux] in the main roles?

DL: What’s important is to get the right actors for the roles. If you’ve already worked with them, you’ve already developed a shorthand and you’re friends but that is not the reason to cast them. But when they marry to the part and you’ve got that added bonus, it’s beautiful. Laura is in a film that’s considered somewhat strange, but she has given a performance that will rival anything done this year so I hope she fares very well. The danger is that it will take a while to filter into the culture and miss an award but I think she’ll be remembered for her role.

DRE: It is interesting how self-referential the film is. Much of it takes place on a film set, part of the movie is about a director working with actors, part of the movie was shot in Poland and there’s a Polish character in the movie. Do you like putting what’s happening to you right into your movies?

DL: I also went to New York City but no ideas came in New York. You see what I mean? It’s the ideas coming and how one relates to another. You never know what’s going to trigger them or when they’re going to come. When they come along, then you focus on those and that focus and desire for more brings more in time. So the thing starts growing, you don’t know where it’s going, it just starts growing. A whole thing comes from Poland and from Hollywood. Now if I hadn’t gone to Poland, I don’t think I’d have gotten the Polish idea, but something was happening there. But I’ve gone to other places where something’s happening but the ideas didn’t come.

DRE: What is it you like so much about Los Angeles?

DL: I love the light. I love the feeling. It comes, I think, from the light, maybe more than that. But in LA I get the feeling of all possibilities. A freeing feeling of all possibilities can be gotten.

DRE: You started the short film Rabbits before you finished Inland Empire, did you always intend to put it into Inland?

DL: It started something happening. One thing leads to another, that’s the beautiful thing about the world. So some things you do and that’s it. Some things lead to more and more and more.

DRE: I believe you had some non-professional actors in Inland Empire.

DL: Well there were Polish actors, American actors, professionals and some surprises.

DRE: And regular people?

DL: Regular people, yeah.

DRE: What does putting regular people into your movie do for you?

DL: Everybody’s an actor and they might be bad, but there’s an actor in everybody. So sometimes you meet someone and see that their face would work. If they’re right for that thing, then that’s what you got to do.

DRE: Would you ever work for a studio again?

DL: Well, I haven’t ever worked with a studio, really. But it is like asking, would you ever poke a knife through your chest? Maybe, but I don’t think so.

DRE: Are you already doing things for your next project?

DL: No, I’ve got to do this distribution. But I’m longing for the day to start focusing on catching ideas. Maybe I’ll catch them during the distribution thing. I’ve got some ideas for the next one but a lot more has to come.

DRE: I heard a rumor about more Twin Peaks.

DL: No, somebody asked me about that the other night. I don’t know where that rumor is coming from.

DL: Is there material there for a special edition DVD of The Elephant Man?

DL: I don’t think so.

DRE: What do you think about the rise of Eli Roth?

DL: Oh, Eli’s my buddy. I haven’t talked to him in a long time. Eli is a go-getter and he’s smart and a good guy. So everybody’s got their own voice but Eli, I guess, is making it happen.

DRE: Do you watch many movies?

DL: No. I don’t have time. I’ve got to work.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck

When i, likely drunk, decided to interview Jhonen Vasquez for SuicideGirls, i knew i was embarking on a dangerous mission, and would almost immediately regret the decision. In spite of this, i rose, wobbling, from my workstation, staggered into the newswire office and declared it would be done. Asking... more

When i, likely drunk, decided to interview Jhonen Vasquez for SuicideGirls, i knew i was embarking on a dangerous mission, and would almost immediately regret the decision. In spite of this, i rose, wobbling, from my workstation, staggered into the newswire office and declared it would be done.

Asking you readers to contribute some questions would surely spell trouble, too. Allow me now to thank those of you who pried yourselves away from the naked girls for two minutes and actually took your time to think about what you were about to DO. And also to scold the rest of you. Childhood photos? Cheese?! Fucking hospital stays? People, i expect more of you, though i'm suddenly and acutely unsure why.

Jhonen's books have earned him a well-established place in comics and a hefty, if undesirable, credit for founding the Goth comic genre. His work is biting, insightful, revolting and hilarious without missing a step. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Fillerbunny, Happy Noodle Boy and other delightful characters have spawned a myriad of fandoms and questionable tattoos worldwide. His animated series Invader Zim, while short-lived, garnered immense popularity, he's worked in music video, and he's still expanding his genres. With its distinct drawing style, uncompromising humor, and bitter infectious world-view, his work has risen Jhonen to cult icon level in some 10 years, and we can only fear what the future may bring.

So here he is, appearing in SuicideGirls for the second time in all his belligerent mucusy glory, brazenly riding a giant pig directly into your brains, like the sacred whore of Babylon. Do try and enjoy.


ZE: Alright, so I had a dream about this interview last night for some unknown reason.

JV: You did?

ZE: Yes, I did. I had a question I asked you in the dream.

JV: Was this a dream where I was naked?

ZE: Yes, this is a dream where you were naked, indeed.

JV: Why was I naked in your dream?

ZE: You actually said you couldn’t do the interview unless you were, in fact, naked.

JV: Right, but it was a dream. I’m fully clothed now. Let’s make that clear.

ZE: You’re not, in fact, naked, to make the record clear, no one’s naked.

JV: The fact still stands that you had a dream where I was naked, you sick fuck.

ZE: Ehm. The question was “who the hell are you?”

JV: I’m apparently the naked guy: hater of clothing.

ZE: Is that all?

JV: Someday, I hope to at least be the guy with shoes and maybe a cummerbund.

ZE: Your new book’s called “Jellyfist”. What is a Jellyfist?

JV: Apparently it’s a horrible book of surreal comics I wrote and had Jenny do the artwork for, as my latest blight upon the comics world. As far as the word itself goes, I don’t know, we were just walking around in Chicago and Jenny was talking about something and the words “jelly” and “fist” came up in the same sentence when I stopped her and said that was a great name for the book.

ZE: What was it you guys were talking about?

JV: We were trying to figure out the logistics of someone we knew having sex.

ZE: [laughs]

JV: [laughs]
Anyhow, we concluded that massive amounts of natural and possibly supernatural physical jellies and a fist were involved.

ZE: Where was this fist going?

JV: It was pushing into the flesh of their stomach, into the gelatinous flesh of their stomach.

ZE: Through an orifice or just straight through?

JV: No, no, not fisting in the classic, playground sense.

ZE: No, of course not the classic sense. Okay.

JV: The book has nothing to do with fisting or even jelly, just in case any church groups were on the fence about picking up hundreds of copies of it.

ZE: There’s no jelly?

JV: Maybe in a couple of the stories. There’s one about young couples in love and the male cracks the female’s head open and releases a jelly-like, sort of this amoeba style creature that he then ingests which I guess could be a jelly-like thing.

ZE: Does he then give birth to the very same creature?

JV: He sort of mixes it with his own internal jelly and then launches it at a nearby child.

ZE: Launches it how?

JV: A cannon formed of flesh, a gun, forms out of his belly meat and fires it at the kid and the kid then, under the control of the jelly, crawls up between the female’s legs.

ZE: The circle of life is then complete.

JV: A sort of revisionist stork theory.

ZE: The cover image is a drawing of tiny wiener people trapped in a jar. What is that?

JV: The cover acts as a sort of “cover” to hide the contents of the book.

ZE: No, what is the idea behind the cover image?

JV: Originally, I wanted the cover to have a warm, homey, family photo album binding vibe to it, the sort of album your lace-doily-loving grandma might haul out. The jar of preserves is the only thing that stuck around from that idea, something Jenny came up with. Makes me think of all the jars of “things” you see in a Svankmejer film, like when Alice is descending in that elevator. As for the sausage shapes, I kept harping on Jenny to make the characters more balloony or sausagey, possibly to tap into the primordial human dread of balloons filled with meat.

ZE: Are these fetuses related to one of the characters in the book?

JV: Well, no one image would really tell you what the book was about, especially since I never intended for the book to be anything other than a stream of conscious nightmare with Jenny and myself doing the streaming, so we went with the ambiguous approach. If there are any baby-preservers out there buying the book based on the cover, they’ll be pretty pissed.

ZE: The press release said the project began as a really big, surreal trip. What was the very first story about, the one that started it out?

JV: It’s not so much the first story that started the project so much as the situation when the first story was done. I was working on some of my own stuff at the time, and Jenny just happened to be at my place, not doing much but wandering around the room, or playing Guitar Hero or something. I scribbled what would be the first “story” onto a scrap of paper, handed it to her and told her to draw a comic with that as the script, which she promptly did in a matter of hours. I loved how mad the end result was and pretty much decided right there to do a whole book with her. I don’t think she thought I was serious at the time.

ZE: That is what spawned Jellyfist.

JV: Yeah. It was just a fun thought, to do an entire book of stuff that even I didn’t know what the end result was going to be, other than it being fast and loose like that first comic. That’s not quite how it turned out in the end but that’s how it started off.

ZE: So you were inspired by her work.

JV: I had always liked her work, yeah, but it takes funny little moments like that to give me the bigger idea.

ZE: This is a question from one of our readers. Okay, so how was it working with Miss Goldberg? Does she share your loveable trait of absolutely despising humanity? I don’t know if you’ve worked with many females in comics or in any of the businesses you’ve worked in but I assume that this is the closest business interaction with the opposite sex. Did that change anything?

JV: Female or not, there’s always complications working with someone co-creatively, but this was a case where our differences were part of the plan, and when things started getting uglier in the process, I decided to take that one step further by doing the running commentary in the book itself. No, she doesn’t share my, what they call my “trait of despising everything”. She’s a much nicer person than I am, but I’m taller.

ZE: How would you say this compared to your earlier collaborative project with Crab Scrambly on “Everything Can be Beaten”?

JV: She smelled better than Crab.

ZE: Aww, poor Crab.

JV: Which isn’t to say that Crab smelled bad, it’s just that she smelled like cherries and Crab smelled like cinnamon...and crabs. I don’t like cinnamon.

ZE: [cat sound]

Would you say that Jellyfist is more advanced than Everything Can Be Beaten in any way? How do you feel about it?

JV: I was never very happy with Everything Can Be Beaten, based on the writing alone, but it’s a great showcase for Crab’s paintings. There was quite a bit more thought behind Jellyfist, and for all its gibbering absurdity, its’ a more complicated mess, where even the things I hate spark a bit more thought and conversation than the other book did. Maybe it’s an easy out, but incorporating my bitching into the book itself probably helped push it slightly above being just an inside joke between Jenny and I, and into something that lets the readers in a bit on what leads up to a hideous mutant project like this.

ZE: [laughs] I guess that’s the beauty of collaboration. I mean you both got something you didn’t expect, I’m sure.

JV: Well, she’d never done a book before so this whole thing was comic book boot camp for her… maybe she’s better for the wear that this project had on her mind. I hope she is.

ZE: You have traumatized her beyond repair? Will she ever work in comics again?

JV: Yes, I hope she does. She’s a great talent and a very good friend but whether or not we were designed to work together on a book like this, I don’t know, and I don’t know that we should ever do one again, not like this. Ever.

ZE: So would you say, overall, that you guys are both now happy with it?

JV: I don’t know if she’s even seen it. I kind of kept her in the dark [laughs] at the tail end of the project. I did all the layout on my computer over a few sleepless nights, long after the deadline was broken, and by that point I was so irritated at being made late on a deadline like I had never been before that some vengeful bastard part of me just wanted to do the final bit myself, and not show even her until the thing was published.

ZE: You’re a sadist.

JV: Nope. A masochist. This is comics.

ZE: You’ve been also branching out in several directions in recent years. A lot of your newest stuff involves other collaborations. Could you talk about working with bands and other artists? Is this something you want to pursue further?

JV: It was a while back, but I did the "Shut Me Up" video for Mindless Self Indulgence and people seemed to dig that. Thank YouTube for that one because I think that’s the only place people get to see it. I was pretty jazzed to hear that the band was a fan of my work, and them asking me to do a video of pretty much anything I wanted was awesome since, well, that’s pretty much how I work anyhow. That’s how that one was…they really had no direction other than “do a video” so I listened to the demo song they had sent me, and ended up with a loony retail guy chopping customers in half.

ZE: It’s still kind of on your terms.

JV: Yeah, but working with people in that way there’s always going to be some, you know, some little snags. We had a few on the video, after it was pretty much put together, because once the video was done the band ran into some trouble with airing the video without the band actually appearing in it. There were some changes made to the thing without my being involved, though I wish I had been. I like those guys and I want them to be shown in as cool or fucked up way as possible, but I don’t think the changes helped so much as they kind of flattened the thing.

ZE: You sort of cut your teeth on the comics because your comics have always been particularly cinematic.

JV: Yeah, I think when people say that, I mean, I’m very conscious of trying to do that whether it comes across or not, so when someone says it’s got a very cinematic feel to it, then I’m happy because that makes me think, “Hey, either this person is as visually retarded as I am or they are picking up on something I am successfully conveying, regardless of my otherwise crippling artistic deficiencies.” Hopefully it carries over into the non-illustrative work and into the actual motion picture work I am doing lately.

ZE: More reader questions. Have you ever felt pressure to make your subject matter more mainstream and less dark in nature?

JV: No.

ZE: Are you ever accused of stuff when there are school shootings?

JV: No. You know what, surprisingly no. I’m pretty critically invisible, which might be part of why I don’t get blamed for the school shooting or when I actually do shoot people. I don’t get blamed. Other people get blamed. I’m going to shoot you after this is done.

ZE: [laughs] Is there any subject matter you consciously try to avoid when sitting down to write a script or a comic?

JV: To date, no. It’s never crossed my mind to have to baby-sit anyone’s perception of right or wrong, no, so the only conscious decision making as far as content goes is whether or not an idea is right or wrong for the particular project. I’d love to think that the people who choose to pick my noise up are already well enough equipped with a decent balance of hard reason and absurdist thinking to not need to be sat down and told why something is okay or why it isn’t okay. It’s just like in drawing, the more you know what something is supposed to look like in reality, the better equipped you are to abstract it, to stylize it on purpose and have fun with it instead of simply interpreting it badly for lack of education.

ZE: Alright, someone has to know if you actually have a MySpace.

JV: Someone HAS to know?

ZE: They HAVE to know.

JV: What happens if they don’t find out?

ZE: No, no, listen to the rest, from what they’ve seen of your personality all signs would point to no, but they have seen some pretty convincing profiles.

JV: I’d actually like to know what happens if they just never knew, if they never found out I had a MySpace or not.

ZE: I had to include this question for that very reason.

JV: It sounds important to them. In fact, it sounds like a very big deal to them.

ZE: They have to know.

JV: Let’s have a bit of fun with that and not answer, yeah? Then we’ll scan the news sites for stories about some lunatic guy or girl, probably fifteen years old, clutching a GIR doll in their cold, dead hand, who leapt from a tall building, strapped with explosives after screaming “Why didn’t you friend me, Jhonen!? WHYEEEEEEE?!”.

ZE: They will no longer support your product.

JV: It’s creepy shit, man, how seriously people take that stuff, the levels of accessibility they think everyone should have just because they themselves write a blog about what color their shit was that day. Discretion is a dying artform. By the way, mine was blue.

ZE: Do you like processed American cheese or did you like it as a kid?

JV: That’s a horrible question. That falls into the “zany randomness” category of questioning.

ZE: I don’t know.

JV: But no, I don’t think I’ll answer that because then I’ll have lost all my power. I have to keep my mystery. I have to maintain my mystique.

ZE: [laughs] Will Questionsleep.com ever be updated?

JV: Does this person asking have any internet website building skills? Because maybe it will, maybe that’s the person that will make the site come to life. Let’s just say I’m cursed in terms of finding adequate web design help. Web designers are some of the shiftiest, most flighty, you know, sketchy people I’ve ever known and they’re dirty. They’re dirty people. Unclean, in my experience.

ZE: [laughs]

JV: They’re swarthy types.

ZE: They smell like cinnamon.

JV: No, only Crab smells like cinnamon.

ZE: Crab, sweet Crab.

JV: Only crab smells like delicious cinnamon sprinkles.

ZE: Cinnamon crab.

JV: He rolls in Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

ZE: I could so picture it.

JV: I’m picturing it now.

ZE: Frolicking.

JV: Sparkling.

ZE: [laughs]

JV: Glittering in the night.

ZE: Spends the night rolling in the cereal.

JV: There’s a lesson to be learned there, but I don’t quite know what.

ZE: Hold on here’s my favorite one from a reader. In the director’s cut of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, you mentioned you built a teepee in your back yard. Did you have any other play equipment in the back yard? [laughs] Well, did you?

JV: Jesus…I don’t even remember writing that…or even doing that. I envision a future in which I’ll be using other people’s brains as external hard drives of sorts, retaining memories that I myself have already discarded in favor of shiner, newer ones with more buttons, only, with all the misinformation about me out there I’ll be reclaiming all these diseased, distorted memories that never quite took place.

It wasn’t a teepee I built, but a concentration camp for the local children who opposed my ideas, my visions of the future in which I ruled over the neighborhood and then the planet in a kind and just and occasionally brutally mad way. The children were used as forced labor to build my ziggurat, manned by my army of intelligent insects. You know…that sorta thing.

ZE: That has all been very informative, thank you.

You can buy Jellyfist on Amazon and other Vasquez works at the Slave Labor Graphics goods dispensary. Do visit uncle Jhonen at his website, the never-ever-ever updated Questionsleep.com.

*It is my duty to inform you that i did makeup for that MSI video. UNGH!

God where do you begin with a talent like Les Claypool? He has one of the most unique voices and bass playing style in all of the entire music industry. He first broke out with Primus, one of the best bands ever, but they still manage to suck at the same time. With the popularity that Primus gave Claypool... more

God where do you begin with a talent like Les Claypool? He has one of the most unique voices and bass playing style in all of the entire music industry. He first broke out with Primus, one of the best bands ever, but they still manage to suck at the same time. With the popularity that Primus gave Claypool he was able to strike out with a number of smaller projects such as Sausage [which is mediocre], the Fearless Flying Frog Brigade, Bucket of Bernie Brains and his own solo work. 2006 is a big year for Claypool because he has a mockumentary he directed called Electric Apricot making the festival rounds, a new solo album Of Whales and Woe and his first novel, South of the Pumphouse, will be out in early July.

Buy Of Whales and Woe

Daniel Robert Epstein: This is the first record you’ve done that’s credited solely to you.

Les Claypool: Yeah but it’s pretty much mostly in name because the Holy Mackerel record I did many years ago was my solo record. I just have always had a hard time just saying, this is Les Claypool. I’ve always had something along with it whether it was Frog Brigade or Holy Mackerel. I did the Bucket of Bernie Brains thing, but that was a real band. But my agent finally said, “Look you have all these projects and people are calling to book you for these festivals and whatnot and I never know which band is going to go. So I’m just booking you as Les Claypool and you just show up with whoever you want.” Since then I’ve just been going under my own moniker.

DRE: It is same thing when we buy tickets to your shows. We’re just never exactly sure who we’re going to get.

Les: Yeah, I’m the Forrest Gump of bass players. The box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.

DRE: The album is really stripped down as well.

Les: Yeah, I would say this hearkens back to the Holy Mackerel type stuff. It’s a similar approach to a lot of material. It’s definitely more aggressive than anything I’ve done since Pork Soda. It’s got a lot more hair on it.

DRE: Why is that, do you have more hair on you?

Les: I do have more hair on me. But it was drums and me banging on my four string bass. That’s what started all these songs. It had a very primal raw start so there wasn’t a lot of elaborate arranging or anything to these pieces. There’s not a lot of foresight in these things. They just come together. I assume they reflect my state of mind at the time, but I couldn’t really analyze it and tell you why it’s like that.

DRE: A few weeks ago I got to speak to Mike Patton, a guy who mirrors your career a bit. Both of you have so many different projects and you’re admired so much. He said that his latest album was basically sitting on his desktop of his computer and he’d just fool around with it whenever he had a chance. When you’re on one project are you just doing that until it’s over?

Les: There are usually a few pots on the stove, which would be apparent with me having a book coming out in July as well as my record as well as a tour as well as a film we’re trying to get distribution for. There tends to be a lot of things going on. I’m touring with my band right now, I have an Oysterhead show next week and a Primus show at the end of all that. I keep a lot of balls in the air. But my approach to this record was at least technically a lot different than Mike’s because I’ve become this vintage analog gear nut, so I have all this insane old vintage analog gear. This album was all tracked to 2” 16-track through an old API console and mixed down to a half inch ATR machine. It has that analog sound to it.

DRE: Is that because you’re not into computers?

Les: I just prefer the sound of analog. You can’t deny the convenience of utilizing ProTools and these various programs, but there’s an inherent quality to analog which is very pleasant to the ears. A lot of the programs and software and plug-ins you get with your various ProTools rigs are designed to replicate a lot of these sounds. They do a good job so I do use ProTools in the final stage but the original basic tracks are all done in analog.

DRE: Was this album done in your personal studio?

Les: It’s all done at my house.

DRE: Is your home studio very elaborate?

Les: I’ve lived there now for 12 years and I’ve made a lot of records in this building, which was basically a pool house. When we bought the place, both my mother and my mother-in-law each tried to stake claim to this building and I said “No way, I’m going to start filling it full of gear.” It looks like a little apartment full of all this old gear. It’s not pristine by any stretch of the imagination.

DRE: How did you select the guys that are on this album with you?

Les: I’ve been playing with Skerik and Mike [Dillon] for years. I produced Gabby La La’s first record and she’s been touring with me this last year. So they’re people I’ve worked with.

DRE: Were they just around?

Les: I brought them all in when they were in town. Skerik and Mike tend to be on tour quite a bit, so when they were in the area I just had them come up for a day or two and lay some stuff down on these tracks.

DRE: When you come up with a riff or a line, how do you know it goes on Of Whales and Woe and not go with Oysterhead or any of the other things you’re working with?

Les: The stuff we do with Oysterhead is done when we all sit in a room and jam together. It’s the same with Primus, for the most part. Every now and again we all bring in stuff, but when I made the Holy Mackerel record I always joked that it was the material that I didn’t want to inflict upon the guys in Primus. It was all these leftover things. I’ll write the drum part as well as the guitar part and blah blah blah and that’s just not how we do things in Primus or in Oysterhead. Everybody writes their own parts.

DRE: So it’s simply because you’re not with those guys?

Les: It depends. It’s not like I sit down and write a song and go, “That’s going to be on my album!” I go in and I’ll record some stuff. Usually I’m just fiddling around, because one of my favorite things to do with all this vintage analog gear is to go out and try to get drum sounds. That’s my favorite thing. So I’ll be out there fiddling around, next thing you know I’ve got a beat recorded, then I start laying bass over the top of it and then these things start stacking up. I will go back and listen to them and go, “That’s interesting” and write some lyrics and throw on parts or bring somebody in to put in parts. The next thing you know I have a song.

DRE: So it’s cobbled together.

Les: It’s always different. There’s no real formula to any of this stuff. If you start thinking about it too much, I think it becomes a bit contrived. I would imagine you do some creative writing. For me, I’m just constantly writing stuff down in my notebooks. If I get an idea I write it down in my calendar or it might be something that turns into a song someday or it may not. It’s the same with music. You get a little something and you think it’s interesting, you lay it down somewhere, at some points it becomes a song and many times it doesn’t become anything.

DRE: Where does that stuff go?

Les: It’s all laying around. It’s like building materials. If you know people that are carpenters, there are always random bits of building materials lying around their property. Some of it gets used and a lot of it doesn’t.

DRE: From listening to your music over the years I knew there was something going on with fishing, but I didn’t know you were actually into fishing. I read that you were on some fly-fishing TV show.

Les: When I was growing up we didn’t have any money. I come from a long line of auto mechanics and what we did on weekends was that if I wasn’t digging or something with my dad or fixing some deck or remodeling a bathroom or whatever, we were out floating around in San Pablo Bay trying to catch sturgeon or we were out in the ocean, salmon fishing. Every year we would take camping vacations in the same spot. What do you do when you camp? A lot of fishing.

DRE: A lot of people would call it an obsession with fishing. It’s in everything. I’ve got a copy of your book and that has fishing in it as well.

Les: Hemingway wrote a lot about fishing and bullfighting. Bukowski wrote about booze and horse racing.

DRE: Do you have other vices or hobbies?

Les: Yeah, there are all kinds of things I enjoy doing. I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed with fishing. I’m always fiddling around with cars. I have my tractor that I go out with and rip and tear through big mounds of poison oak and blackberry bushes, mow the fields, I have to work the land. I’ve got this damn land that I got to deal with it. But the main thing is, I’ve got kids and hanging out with them is the greatest activity.

DRE: How old are your kids?

Les: My son just turned ten and my daughter will be nine next month.

DRE: Do they play music yet?

Les: My daughter’s taking piano. My son’s learning a little bit of violin. He’s yet to really find what he wants to do. She really enjoys piano so she’s getting pretty good. They’re actually on the first song of the record, they were out in the studio banging on some stuff and I just recorded it.

DRE: Oh so they are Cage and Lena!

Les: Yeah.

DRE: What was the inspiration for making Electric Apricot?

Les: I’ve written a few screenplays and I had some ideas for various things over the years so this was just an idea. I was talking to Matt Stone about it one day and we were laughing about. Then I was talking to Jason McHugh who is a mutual friend of ours who produced a lot of Trey [Parker] and Matt’s live action stuff and he just pushed it through. It was a lot of work and a hell of an achievement. We’ve been in three film festivals and won awards in all three.

DRE: Congratulations, so is it an improvised mockumentary or was it all scripted?

Les: There was a definite storyline and some of it was scripted, but most of it was reacting to scenarios. As director, I just corralled these guys through the storyline but we relied a lot on their improvisational skills.

DRE: Are you in the movie?

Les: I am a character in the movie who is part of the main band.

DRE: What’s the main band’s deal?

Les: They’re a hippie jam band.

DRE: I read that your book [South of the Pumphouse] was a screenplay at one point.

Les: It was a 60 page screenplay about ten years ago and then as it slowly evolved into a 120 page screenplay over the years, we raised money, had producers come on and go off and film companies interested and then not interested, same as the record industry. Finally I decided to write it as a novel so that if it ever gets made into a film and it’s convoluted, at least the original story will exist somewhere for whoever might care. So I wrote it, found a literary agent and they got me this deal with Akashic Books. It’s been great. They’re really good people and they are the hotshot indies.

DRE: Are you going to look at repitching it as a movie?

Les: I’m sure we will at some point. We have a few different other projects on the table that we’re taking around right now, but I’m sure Pumphouse will be one of them.

DRE: I know you’ve directed some animated music videos and you’ve done songs for both South Park and Robot Chicken. Do you have ideas you want to do as a cartoon?

Les: I’ve got a couple treatments written up. There’s a long list of things I’d like to do. How much of it will come to fruition, I have no idea.

DRE: Who are you looking to collaborate with that you haven’t yet?

Les: I don’t really know. A lot of these collaborations come out of the blue. I was working with working with Adrian Belew and Danny Carey a while ago but we never really finished it. We just did some stuff for Adrian’s record and that was fun. I’d love to do some stuff with my string bass, some acoustic bass stuff. I’d love to play with someone like Merle Haggard or Neil Young or Willie Nelson. I think that would be great with a duo type thing, but I don’t know if they’d want to work with me.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck

by Nahp A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups. (image) [Yesenia Suicide in Vesuvian] This week Yesenia tells us why she gets the warm and fuzzies with Cute Overload. Members: 1,200 / Comments: 7,459 WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: I can always count on the posts in this group to make my... more

by Nahp

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.


[Yesenia Suicide in Vesuvian]

This week Yesenia tells us why she gets the warm and fuzzies with Cute Overload.

Members: 1,200 / Comments: 7,459

WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: I can always count on the posts in this group to make my day better. It is impossible for me not to smile, giggle, and have my heart melt when I browse the threads in Cute Overload. It is packed with cute photos and videos of animals, kids, and other cute things. There is a video someone posted of a blind kitten playing with its first toy, a jingly ball, and it nearly made me tear because it was so cute! There is a sticky thread dedicated to posting photos of your own pets, and another for posting baby pictures of yourself. Many members start their own threads to discuss a particular cute video they found online.



DISCUSSION TIP: Post anything cute! It can be something you saw online, or something you took a photo/video of yourself. The cuter the better!!

MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD:
I don't think there are any heated threads. I would be surprised if I found one.

BEST RANDOM QUOTE: Pretty much anything a child says, and there are plenty of those videos in the group.

WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: Anyone is welcome to join, and once you do, The cutest thing I saw today... is always a good place to start.


***
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A.J. Focht (video) CW’s show Arrow based on the Green Arrow from DC comics will be premiering next week on October 10. Before it premiers, catch a first look at the story of Oliver Queen’s return after five years exiled on an island. There is also a first look at Kelly Hu as China White. Jessica... more

A.J. Focht



CW’s show Arrow based on the Green Arrow from DC comics will be premiering next week on October 10. Before it premiers, catch a first look at the story of Oliver Queen’s return after five years exiled on an island. There is also a first look at Kelly Hu as China White. Jessica de Gouw, who is playing The Huntress, talked about the difficulties with the role, citing she researched the comics for her role.

Thor is Marvel’s premier fantasy based title. The movie blended the fantasy element with reality, and the sequel, Thor: The Dark World, is set to delve even deeper into the fantasy side. It has recently been announced the film will take place across all nine realms, not just Earth and Asgard. Producer Kevin Fiege hopes the studio’s choice to go with Game of Thrones director Alan Taylor will pay off in bring out the fantasy element. Thor: The Dark World is scheduled for November 8, 2012.

Superman is returning to the silver screen on June 14, 2013 in Man of Steel.

A few months back, I reported there were talks of remaking The Munsters into a new show called Mockingbird Lane. It’s sad news with Halloween around the corner, but it looks like the series will not happen after all. The pilot was directed by Bryan Singer and starred Jerry O’Connel, Portia de Rossi, and Eddie Izzard as the Grandpa. NBC axed the show reportedly due to its ‘high-concept premise.’

On a final note, Stan Lee, in an effort to be more like Tony Stark, has had an electronic pacemaker put in. Lee took a short break from his convention schedules last week, and announced the news on Twitter. Lee comments that the pacemaker is “to insure that he’ll be able to lead thee for another 90 years.” I for one am glad the Generalissimo is doing well, and hope that whatever incidents that led to this (besides wanting to emulate Tony Stark) are now all fixed.

Frank Portman is best known as the lead singer/songwriter for The Mr. T Experience but now that he’s written his first novel, King Dork, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you referred to him as the next JD Salinger. But that’s a non de plume that the main character of King Dork, Tom Henderson, would hate. more

Frank Portman is best known as the lead singer/songwriter for The Mr. T Experience but now that he’s written his first novel, King Dork, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you referred to him as the next JD Salinger. But that’s a non de plume that the main character of King Dork, Tom Henderson, would hate. You see Henderson calls himself King Dork because of his status in high school. He only has one friend, Sam Hellerman, no girlfriends or friends that are girls and he hates the fact that every teacher in his school is obsessed with making the students try to be obsessed with The Catcher in the Rye. Henderson spends his time making up band names for him and Hellerman and obsessing over girls he will never get to touch. But all that changes when he finds his dead father's copy of The Catcher in the Rye with many mysterious notes in the margins.

Buy King Dork

Daniel Robert Epstein: How long have you been working on King Dork?

Frank Portman: From the first time I had lunch with the editor to the publication was just about two years. My band was on tour in New York and the agent who was trying to talk me into trying to write a novel set up a lunch with an editor at this publishing company. I didn’t have a book idea and I didn’t really think I was going to write one, but I thought, “Hey, free lunch.” So I went there and talked to her and I had to admit that I hadn’t written anything and I didn’t have an idea. So she was like, “Well, that’s okay. You’ve written a lot of songs. Why don’t you try to turn one of the songs into a book?” So I thought about it and gave it a shot. But then it was a long process after that because I procrastinated for awhile and then I typed out the first draft, which took about a month. That’s the thing with a book, you have to keep doing it over and over again. So you turn in your draft and then you wait while you get it back with notes. It’s like being in school and turning it homework. You wait until you get your grade back and then you’ve got to go work on it again to improve your grade. Two years later, it’s published and then it’s all over.

DRE: Did you really adapt a song?

FP: Yeah, pretty much. The book turned out to be quite a bit different from the song as you’d imagine. But the song that I got the title from is called King Dork. In the song there was the character of the narrator, who is the same character who had been the narrator of several other songs actually. I just thought King Dork was a pretty catchy title, so I just tried to imagine what that guy in the song would’ve done as a little interior monologue and then eventually it turned into a book.

DRE: It’s amazing that the character in the book came up with all those band names and there wasn’t one having to do with Mr. T.

FP: Yeah I had made that mistake myself. I didn’t really feel like forcing it upon my fictional character. But the book takes place over three months so he was coming up with band names for much longer than that. By the time you get out of high school and have your own band there is no telling how many fake band names you’d end up accumulating.

DRE: Is that how you came up with Mr. T Experience?

FP: It was something like that. People often don’t seem to realize how little difference there is between the fake band that you make up in high school and actually having a “real band,” where you play shows and put out records. It’s all imaginary. But the way that my band ended up being called Mr. T Experience is similar. We’d be sitting around watching TV and drinking Budweiser and someone says, “Hey, let’s call it I Dream of Jeannie on Acid.” Everyone goes, “Yeah. That’s good.” So someone said at some point, “Hey. How about Mr. T Experience?” Everyone laughed and we were making a flyer for a show and we got stuck with the name because it happened to be what we put on the flyer. Then I was in denial about it for years. I never really thought I’d have to be explaining it 20 years later. That’s a pretty terrible name, but it’s by no means the worst name. Anything can be a band name. That’s really the lesson. I just noticed a brazil nut on the linoleum there in my kitchen. Brazil nut linoleum, that’s a band name.

DRE: That’s why you’re an author.

FP: That’s right. This is how the content gets provided.

DRE: Why’d you meet with those guys in the first place about doing a book?

FP: The guy who’s my agent now was a fan of my band when he was a youngster and he grew up to be a pretty sharp literary agent. He thought, “Hey. Maybe this guy could write a book.” So he contacted me several times over the last few years and I never took it very seriously because I didn’t really have any literary ambitions or the idea that I could really write a book. But in the end I gave it a shot. I typed out a few chapters like a demo book, just to ask him, “Is this the thing you’re talking about?” and then I didn’t hear from him for awhile and I thought “Okay, it sucks and that’s why I’m not hearing from him.” But then when I did hear from him, he said, “I sold this to Random House.” I was like, “Man. Now I got to finish it.” So it took awhile and it was scary because if you don’t finish it, then you have to give at least part of the advance back. So that’s a real incentive.

DRE: There are a lot of blowjobs in this book for a young adult novel.

FP: Yeah. There’s a long tradition of YA novels that deal with sex. A lot of traditional teen lit and movies tiptoe around the actual reality of it. I’m not the only one who ever thought this would be a good idea, but I just thought, “Let’s not tiptoe around it.”

DRE: I’m not criticizing it. I’m just saying.

FP: Yeah. I think a lot of people are surprised. “Wow. I can’t believe they let you do that.” But I was surprised because Random House is a big company so I thought there would be some attempt at censorship or trying to make it more commercial. But there was nothing like that. They made suggestions, but it was like, “You’re the writer.” That was a pleasant surprise.

DRE: I thought it was cool when she wrote “slurp” on the note.

FP: That was cool. I’d like to get a note like that.

DRE: Why aren’t I getting notes like that?

FP: Yeah, sometimes you get lucky. You should go around telling people you’re in a band because that’s a good first step towards getting notes like that.

DRE: If I had known when I was young that being in a band would’ve done for me, in terms of girls, I would’ve been in a band since I was five.

FP: I just stumbled onto it blindly. No one told me. But it’s a valuable lesson.

DRE: My kid’s going to be jammin'. I’m going to shove an instrument in his hand, if and when I have a kid, If I have a girl she won’t be in a band!

FP: Yeah. The dynamic might be a little different. You make your decisions on child rearing yourself though.

DRE: Is the book autobiographical at all?

FP: Not really. The narrator is not me. But the general experience of what happens when you are an alienated teenager, even alienated from within the alienated subcultures, is what I experienced. If you were on the A list socially in high school, it’d be hard to write a book like King Dork, but by definition most people were not on whatever the A-list is, so I think that’s why it’s relatable.

DRE: What age did you start a band?

FP: I first started to say I was in a band around 13. But I was in a “band” long before I even had an instrument or anything. In fact I probably had like 20 or 30 bands before I actually learned how to play the guitar. If there’s any message to that book it is that having a band where you play instruments is optional. It’s more the concept and if you say that you are in a rock and roll band, you pretty much are in one.

DRE: When did you get your first girl as a result of being in a band?

FP: It was almost immediately. It’s the strange power of rock and roll, but I merely point it out.

DRE: When did the idea of the mystery of the Tom Henderson’s father come into your mind?

FP: One thing that writers often say that I always found pretentious is that once you have your characters and your setting, you start writing to find out what’s going to happen and the characters take on a life of their own. That is sort of what happened. One of my hobbies is that I collect found objects like letters and cards and various things from other peoples’ lives that are interesting or amusing or poetic. So I really like to go to yard sales and used bookstores and the Salvation Army and look through the books because a lot of times people have interesting things written in books. I noticed that the book that tended to have the most things written in it is The Catcher in the Rye. So as I was writing this book and I was engaging in my hobby of looking through these books, I had the idea, “Well, what would be interesting is if something written in one of these books turned out to have a mysterious significance in this character’s life.” Once I had that idea, then the plot snapped in. But of course the mysteries and the paranoid idea of conspiracies is really just a structure to hang the characterization on.

DRE: Is Henderson a good looking guy?

FP: He doesn’t think so. He’s probably not bad looking though because if you remember his sister’s really good looking. His parents are good lucking. But he’s a nerdy guy with glasses so you don’t really tend to think of yourself as really great looking when you’re in that mode. But if you’re anywhere shy of being a hideous monster and maybe even if you are a hideous monster rock and roll can counteract almost anything.

DRE: Is Sam Hellerman based on anyone you know?

FP: He wasn’t really based on anyone I knew. I was a little more like the Sam Hellerman figure in my childhood than I was like the Tom Henderson. You always find that books and movies are from the point of view of a single person with another person there so that there’s something to interact with or else it’s very hard to get anything going. For dramatic purposes I needed there to be a friend of some kind.

DRE: Do you like Catcher in the Rye?

FP: I reread it while I was writing the book and I liked it better than I did when I was a kid. I didn’t hate it as much as Tom Henderson does but I did feel that there was something weird about how everyone was in love with it. The only explanation Tom can come up with is that it’s a sinister cult. Maybe I wouldn’t have gone that far, but I did think there was something a little spooky about how everyone was under its spell without reservation. Now that I’ve written a book that is more or less an attack on it, although an ironic attack, I’m running into more people who say, “Yeah. I’ve always hated that book.” I never met anyone who did when I was a kid or up until now. I just thought it was required that you love it or else they put you in jail or something. Any time you are forced to feign enthusiasm for something, it fosters an antipathy. There’s a lot of stuff in school like that. It doesn’t have to be that particular book. It’s anything that your teacher is really excited about. Your job is to come up with the best way to act like you’re excited about it as well, but you want to find your own things to be excited about. So there’s a classic tension there with Catcher in the Rye.

DRE: Whose idea was the cover?

FP: That was actually my editor’s copy of the Catcher in the Rye that she used to carry around with her when she was a kid. We just took that and defaced it. It was fun. I was originally worried about being sued by the Salinger estate because I know they sue people and he’s still alive, which I was surprised to learn. But the result from the legal department is that it’s the same company. They can’t sue themselves. We can do anything we want to that cover.

DRE: What’s going on music wise for you?

FP: I have my eye on doing another rock and roll album, although it’s not completely in the planning stages. It’s past the fantasy stage and now it’s more in the daydreaming stage. But I’m writing some songs and trying to pull together some ideas. I’m really hoping I can get my act together enough to do another tour in the fall.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck

This October 18th a number of SuicideGirls will be appearing on an episode of CSI: NY. This kind of acceptance from such a mainstream narrative television series on a major network truly proves that SuicideGirls has become a significant part of pop culture. The episode truly focuses on the positive aspects... more

This October 18th a number of SuicideGirls will be appearing on an episode of CSI: NY. This kind of acceptance from such a mainstream narrative television series on a major network truly proves that SuicideGirls has become a significant part of pop culture. The episode truly focuses on the positive aspects of SuicideGirls. They aren’t just in the background while the main characters are showcased. The SuicideGirls are integral to the storyline which makes for a very unique and exciting episode. I had a chance to talk with the creator of all the CSI shows, Anthony E. Zuiker.

SuicideGirls CSI: NY episode airs October 18th at 10pm EST

Daniel Robert Epstein: How did this whole thing get started?

Anthony E. Zuiker: About three years ago, I was in a B. Dalton bookstore and I saw the hardback SuicideGirls book, just by accident. When I opened up the book, I found the picture of Al nude in the bathtub with a pink wig. I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, outside of my wife obviously. I was so inspired to keep looking at the pictures. I brought the book back to work and then it was stolen.

DRE: Oh geez.

AZ: So I went out and bought the book again. Then about a week later it was stolen. Then I bought it again and it was stolen again. So I figure if people are stealing these books out of my office or off my coffee table, it must be something of interest to people. Then, on accident I saw the SuicideGirls on HBO Real Sex. My wife, who has impeccable taste, was watching it with me and her quote about Missy was, “That bitch can shoot” meaning she’s a great photographer. When she pointed it out to me, I was inspired by that and then pretty much the next week I saw the Icons episode on G4. That was enough for me to pick up the phone and call Missy and say, “Hey. How’d you like to do a show with the SuicideGirls playing themselves on CSI: NY?” Missy, of course, was down for it. That’s how the whole thing started.

DRE: Was the reason it is on CSI: NY because that’s the show that you’re currently working on?

AZ: Correct. It’s just the one I’m on full-time. It’s the one I can control more, so I figured that was the best bet. All three are my shows but I work fulltime on New York. Since it’s the third installment of a franchise, we can be a little more radical on this show.

I wanted to make sure that we had SuicideGirls that all got along. It was a learning curve for me in terms of that. I was really focused on getting a lot of people that were veterans and people that were from Los Angeles, so it would be easy for shooting and travel. But in the same respect I wanted to be able to give the viewers girls like Amina and Al and Fractal and Nixon. We narrowed hundreds down to about eight girls. When we did that, I went back to casting and CBS and said, “Look. These girls will be acting and playing themselves. I don’t want to hire girls and put tattoos on them and call them the PatBrats. If I can’t use the word SuicideGirls, I don’t want to do it.” I wrote the outline then it got back to me that legal was very upset about any reference to websites because if you surf the website without being a member, you can still see nudity. With the whole Janet Jackson thing, we’re under a very difficult situation with that. So I had to de-website it but I wanted to make sure that I still got the story right and that Missy was happy with the story. When she read the first outline, she loved it. I talked to the girls probably three months ahead of shooting. I had Al come out from North Carolina. I flew Tim Kern, who does a lot of the tattoos for the SuicideGirls, from the Last Rites Tattoo parlor in New York. I wanted to make sure that the girls knew somebody besides the girls on set. Tim was also hired as a technical advisor. When the girls showed up, it was just so pleasant. I feel that the SuicideGirls are American royalty. To have 18 million people see SuicideGirls in a story that’s emotionally moving and really captures their spirit makes it a special show.

DRE: Jeremy Kasten just directed Wizard of Gore with a number of SuicideGirls like Amina and Fractal.

AZ: I heard about that.

DRE: Since it is a horror movie Jeremy used special effects to make it look like Amina’s leg was cut off in the movie. But you don’t do anything like that in the CSI episode.

AZ: Well don’t forget this is a network audience. I wanted to tell a story about a girl that at the end of the day felt trapped in the Midwest and was looking for a sense of belonging and found it in the SuicideGirls. Therefore I chose to have a girl from Wyoming who desperately wanted to get out and find her place amongst other girls like her and really tell an emotional story, but still give you the essence and the spirit of the sisterhood and what they represent. I didn’t want to go for shock value or missing legs or showy tattoos. I think the website has such great cache, great style and it’s so classily done. It’s so not about the nudity. It’s about the style and the spirit of the women so I wanted to make sure that we captured that.

DRE: How much do the attitudes of the girls of the show reflect the real attitudes of the girls that are playing them?

AZ: I think pretty good. Al sometimes is perceived as being a harder, rougher individual. But she isn’t. She’s a complete sweetheart. I talked with the girls by email. I watched a lot of the first tour. I talked a lot with Missy, who was involved every step of the way from wardrobe to the production meeting to script. I got notes from the girls. I addressed almost all of their notes. But again, I wasn’t so worried about capturing the exact attitude of the individual, more of the spirit of what SuicideGirls represented. I made sure that they all had different sassy, naughty, interesting attitudes. What I was so amazed with was that when I came to the set, they were just so gung ho. They were so low maintenance and so high-spirited. I would tell them constantly, “If I hired eight actresses in this town to do the same thing, it would be a completely different ballgame.” For the most part they’d be complaining. These women from SuicideGirls didn’t complain once. They went on stage. They were ready. They kicked ass. It was a dream to work with. If I could work with the SuicideGirls every day, I would.

DRE: How did they do acting-wise?

AZ: They’re phenomenal. They had the best attitudes of any group that I’ve ever been involved in with CSI. It was just really a pleasure. They were treated like gold while they were here and they all came to play. It’s funny because a lot the girls don’t like to wear clothes. So I constantly had to keep putting clothes back on them. One of the SuicideGirls wanted to wear something a little skimpier or that showed more breasts or more ass. I had to go in with Missy and have a talk with her and say, “Look. If we do this, we’re going to waste film, waste money and the audience will never see it. It’ll be part of the DVD.” She finally played ball and put some more clothes on, but it was really the spirit of that. Also what was great is when we were taking a break, Missy would take the girls and go shoot on our sets. I walked by Nixon and she was straddled on top of a dummy. She had a saw in her hand and was sawing off the dummy’s head. You definitely got a laugh to yourself when you walked by and go, “Wow. The SuicideGirls are definitely on the set.”

DRE: I’ve watched CSI: New York pretty much since the beginning and CSI since the second season. Sometimes the forensic investigators in the show could be very judgmental. Was that something that you tried to avoid in this episode?

AZ: You’re absolutely right. This was never going to be a freak show. That was very key to me. I’m a creator of a franchise so I understand what Missy’s done and I wanted to make sure that this was captured in the perfect spirit. I didn’t want to have my characters being judgmental. I kept the SuicideGirls out in front of the show, not in the back. I had my characters reinforce that spirit, rather than be judgmental towards it. To the American public, it’s already a bit radical. So to go radical upon radical I think is a mistake. I think finding missing legs and that kind of thing is not what we do. What we do is regard the world. We’re true to it. If you’re not a SuicideGirl expert, I think you’ll be moved by the show. You’ll probably shed a tear or two. You’ll have a laugh and go, “Wow. Those girls have really inspired me.” I want to inspire the viewers as they watch my show.

DRE: CSI obviously has long arms into pop culture. Besides this episode, do you ever see a time when a television character with tattoos and piercings could be the norm on a television show without being a freak?

AZ: I think it’s possible. For us, in New York, we deal with all kinds of worlds, but I think America is still a little bit conservative in terms of television. I don’t think people can get too radical from week to week, but I think going into a world for an episode is definitely tolerable and that’s what we’re doing.

DRE: What aesthetic do you think SuicideGirls is replacing or adding out there in the world?

AZ: SuicideGirls promote individuality, strength and the courage to really live as free as possible without any shame. These are unique girls and Missy has found a way to bring these unique women together via a website. Some of these girls have never even talked to each other before, but they knew of each other and you’d think they were all best friends. There’s really a deep sisterhood involved in that. The courage of what they exude is so inspiring, to the viewer and to me because we do live in a very conservative time right now, especially politically and in terms of entertainment. I think a show like this is going to break a lot of barriers.

DRE: Did Missy have approval over aspects of the show?

AZ: It was a mutual respect. There wasn’t a lot of “No, you can’t do this.” I involved Missy in every step of the journey. The only difference we ever had together was when she was a little iffy about doing the creepy Carrie-like opening but I talked her into it. I said, “Look. I think this is really going to be great in terms of doing an homage to Carrie.” As we dumped 50 gallons of fake blood on the girls in the teaser and they’re dancing to Pantera’s “Walk,” you know that the SuicideGirls have definitely arrived on the show.

DRE: Is it a coincidence that Goth icon Edward Furlong is joining CSI this year?

AZ: It’s a coincidence, but yeah, that’s really awesome. Eddie did a great job. He’ll be in the episode a week before the SuicideGirls one airs on October 18.

DRE: I’ve spoken with the creator of The Shield, Shawn Ryan, a number of times. His show is pretty much all character development. CSI drips and drabs character development throughout a season. With the serialized drama becoming such a big thing now on television, would you like to see more of that on any of the CSIs?

AZ: No, the formula is the formula. We are a procedural drama. We do a little more character on New York than any of the other shows. Our viewers expect an element of science and mystery and as we begin to open up the characters and feature more character stuff, it’s an added value to an already successful franchise. But we have no intent of reinventing the wheel so to speak and making it all character-driven. Though we’ve been opening up the characters a bit more since we’re in seasons seven, five and three of the franchise.

DRE: Is that satisfying to you?

AZ: Absolutely because we were never going to abandon what the game plan is, but people do want to know more about our characters. So we emotionally invest our people into the cases and maybe learn something new about them. In the SuicideGirls episode we have a story about a girl from the Midwest trying to get into the spirit of the SuicideGirls and you have one of our characters emotionally invested and having an issue that will come out later in the season. So you have a couple different levels going there, which makes for a really good drama.

DRE: How surprised are you that the CSI shows are among the most popular shows on television?

AZ: Well, I think that we’re definitely in a very healthy crime cycle. I think the viewer and the world will always enjoy a great mystery and a great drama. I think that the casts have amazing chemistry and we just tell stories differently than anybody else. I think that there’s a part of the show that while you’re watching it, you’re learning. It’s captured the world’s fancy because it’s just great drama.

DRE: Do you have a theory why CSI: Miami is so popular overseas?

AZ: I do. I think it’s David Caruso. It’s the fact that it’s colorful and sexy and young and probably captures the domain of Miami better than Vegas or New York. I think it really captures Miami and you feel like you’ve been there for that one hour. That’s our recipe for success.

DRE: What’s it like to have something that’s such a powerful marketing tool, knowing that you could take just about anything and make it very popular?

AZ: Well now we’re in a very interesting time right now. We’re in the Wild Wild West of multi-platform. We have a couple different tricks up our sleeves. We’re not only doing a show with SuicideGirls, but we also have the actress who played Omen, who’s not a real SuicideGirl, hidden on the site right now. People who are on the site will look at that and go, “Oh, is she a new girl?” But she’s actually an actress. People who watch the show may be driven to the website. If they do that, they’ll be pleasantly surprised that the girl on the show is on the site. She has a profile and pictures.

DRE: What tattoos do you have?

AZ: I have a Z in the middle of my left arm and then around it is a D for Dawson my boy, J for Jennifer my wife, A for Anthony and E for Evans, which is myself and my family with the Z in the middle.

DRE: Do you want to get more?

AZ: My wife is pregnant with our third child so I’ll add one more letter which will make it like a cross. Then I’ll probably do a little bit more on my sleeve.

DRE: What city is next for CSI?

AZ: At this point I think CSI: Hawaii would be great. Then maybe I can go out there and relax and my wife can sleep on a boat or something.

DRE: Do you ever see bringing SuicideGirls back for another episode?

AZ: I got an email from Al a couple days ago that said, “Hey. If you ever want to bring us back, I’ll definitely do it again.” We’ll see how the response is. If the response is overwhelming, there’s a possibility next season that we would bring them back. But it has to really work in the fabric of our season. Right now we’re still cutting the episode together. I have a feeling it’s going to be a big success and we hope that it’s everything that we dreamed it would be and hopefully this does raise big awareness for Missy’s brand.

DRE: When you say response, does that mean from the network or from the audience?

AZ: The audience. If we get a bump in the ratings because of the SuicideGirls, that’s a good thing.

DRE: I’m not an actual SuicideGirl, do you need any fat, Jewish interviewers to be on CSI: NY?

AZ: I think we have that covered. There are millions of them. We like to subscribe to the Bruckheimer School of good-looking, edgy people.

DRE: All right. I’m out then.

AZ: So am I by the way.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck

by Laurelin (image) I remember that I used to go to his bar after we had broken up. I had always gone there, why should I change anything just because my life as I knew it was over? Besides, I was fine. I would do my hair differently, a different style, parted to another side. And I’d wear a little... more

by Laurelin



I remember that I used to go to his bar after we had broken up. I had always gone there, why should I change anything just because my life as I knew it was over? Besides, I was fine. I would do my hair differently, a different style, parted to another side. And I’d wear a little black dress because I was on my way to a fancy event that once he would have also been invited to. I was okay, and he would see that.

I wasn’t okay, I was drunk. Lines blurred and people stared, and when I fell backwards off my barstool he came running to help me up. I screamed that I didn’t need his help anymore, that I was fine. Our friends shook their heads and saw me home, and I knew that I was far from fine. That night would replay a couple of times a week; a different dress, the same sad looks. And always I would cry when I thought no one was looking, even though everyone was. He must have been horrified.

Three years later, I watch him walk drunk into my bar regularly. He has his head held high, but I can always tell that something is wrong.

After the scene unfolded for the first time, I leant over to one of our friends and said, “This is what it was like all those years ago when I used to go into his bar, isn’t it?” Our friend nodded his head, and I felt impossibly sad.

I would rather have nights of my own endless heartbreak than know I’m causing someone else to ache like that. I don’t know what’s happening, and I am powerless to stop any of it. I have my own problems and having front row seats to his makes me feel guilty for being annoyed, but I am.

“I just miss you,” he says, reaching for me. I turn away, just out of his reach and I want to cry, but I don’t. Not until I was telling someone else the story later did my eyes fill with tears. “You’re happy now,” he had slurred and I wanted so badly to shake him and tell him that I was anything but happy; I was still always being let down, the only constant in my life was our sad city bar scene. But he didn’t need to know that. If he thought I was happy and that made him sad, it wasn’t my place to let him know that I really did want to be rescued – just not by him anymore.

It’s raining outside today, and I can’t bring myself to get out of bed. I don’t feel like drinking, I don’t feel like talking, texting, writing, eating. I feel sad, alone, heartbroken. I have to be at the bar in one hour. As shitty as I feel I know, I’ll get up, I’ll add some color to my pale cheeks and I’ll fake a smile, and while some people will know, others won’t. I’ll be okay. Maybe he’ll call and maybe he won’t, and no matter which “he” it is, I shouldn’t answer the phone, because nothing is right.

I have to be at the bar in one hour, and the mere thought of lifting my face off this pillow is enough to make me turn to ashes.



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Occupy LA First Anniversary Photo Essay (image) The weekend leading up to Occupy LA's October 1st anniversary featured a packed schedule of activities, which included panel discussions, educational events, and a Really, Really Free Market. In anticipation of the big day, several protesters reoccupied... more

Occupy LA First Anniversary Photo Essay



The weekend leading up to Occupy LA's October 1st anniversary featured a packed schedule of activities, which included panel discussions, educational events, and a Really, Really Free Market. In anticipation of the big day, several protesters reoccupied City Hall on the Sunday night, erecting tents on the sidewalk surrounding the now restored South Lawn. Though the LAPD harassed campers under the premise of minor infractions, occupiers ensured they stayed within the bounds of local bylaws and codes, and were allowed to stay in their temporary encampment overnight. Despite the fact that two arrests were made -- after those suspected of "crimes" such as first degree jaywalking and possession of a bike with no light were found to have outstanding warrants -- the symbolic victory set a distinctly upbeat tone for Occupy LA's first birthday celebrations, which featured a rally at Pershing Square at noon (where OLA kicked off exactly one year ago), an afternoon of marches and direct actions, and a special evening GA. Though anti-Occupy propaganda and general burnout had taken its toll on numbers, a hardcore group of protesters, who through shared goals have forged strong bonds over the past year, came out to celebrate their numerous tangible achievements (most notably in the realm of foreclosure) and their new American Dream: that another -- fairer -- world is possible.


[Occu-puppy springs into action on the restored South Lawn of City Hall.]


[Agreed: "Revolt Is All We Have -- We Must Overthrow This Corporate Dictatorship."]


[End the Koch party: "Billionaires Your Time Is Up."]


[Yep: "Free Pussy Riot."]


[Clowning around...]


[...As the media circus comes to Downtown.]


[Son Fish gets carded.]


[As temperatures soared well above 100 we wanted to get our nipples out too -- but the sexist law in LA doesn't allow women to bare their breasts in public.]


["Imagine Fairness" -- Nowhere Man gets everywhere; We've occupied with him in LA, Chicago, and New York.]


[A couple of dishy and delish ladies!]


["Power To The People" -- Problem is corporations are apparently people too!]


["Free Hugs" make us happy ]


[Money talks...and corporations walk..over everyone and everything.]


[Anon love...]


[...Can lead to Anon babies.]


[Love it when OccupyFreedomLA gets that faraway look in her eyes.]


["Capitalism's Fate Is The Corporate State."]


[Beware of this chalk pusher -- she could get you arrested with her wares. #Chalkupy]


[Yummy family dinner.]


["Anti-Imperialista ~ Anti-Fascista."]


["Police Are Pawns...And Shellfish."]


[The best kind of birthday party.]


[Who Is Your Enemy?]


[The US Government "Now Detaining Awakened Americans" under unlimited detention without trial provisions of the NDAA.]

Visit our gallery for more pictures of OccupyLA's first anniversary.



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by Steven Whitney When Mitt Romney recently declared that 47% of us are “dependent on government,” he made it sound like a bad quality – starkly un-American, as if we were all addicts smoking the administration’s crack pipe. Yet dependency in and of itself is neither a good nor bad attribute... more

by Steven Whitney

When Mitt Romney recently declared that 47% of us are “dependent on government,” he made it sound like a bad quality – starkly un-American, as if we were all addicts smoking the administration’s crack pipe.

Yet dependency in and of itself is neither a good nor bad attribute – it’s just a part of who humans are on the most basic biological and anthropological scales. We are a social species – it’s in our DNA – and everything we do that has any meaning is dependent on social interaction, whether it’s buying and selling to make a living or profiting emotionally by just hanging with friends and loved ones.

No one exists in a vacuum. We live in families and tribes and cultures, and sub-tribes and border cultures – whether it’s surf bums or car enthusiasts or school parents or Wall Street self-proclaimed “Masters of the World” – we are all dependent on some grouping that sustains us emotionally, psychologically, and often financially. We seek out others who share our interests, passions and values to give us a sense of belonging, precisely so we don’t feel isolated and alone as we float down the river of life on something akin to Sartre’s ice floe.

This is the most basic concept of what it means to live and work in a community. And, with the freedoms America offers, it’s normally a community of our own choosing – be it a church, a bowling league, a book club or rotisserie league, or even a political party.

As a devoted acolyte of the self-interest rationalization (objectivism) of Ayn Rand, Paul Ryan can be excused for not knowing this simple human truth. But Romney should. Whatever their faults, Mormons famously take care of their own – perhaps to the exclusion of those outside the Latter-Day Saints circle, but Mormons comprise a real and ongoing community.

But just maybe the extremely insular nature of the church has impacted Romney more than its communal practices. As Romney has shown almost every day of the campaign, he is uncomfortable with and wary of outsiders, or “the other,” a trait commonly found in minority sects that robs them of any real sense of either a national or global community.

Mormons make up just 2% of our population – yet as a group they are so tight-knit that the other 98% have become “those people.” Ann Romney is afraid of giving “those people” tax returns they might use as ammunition, and Mitt said his job is not to worry about “those people.” So one has to wonder if it’s a lack of empathy or social skills on their part or an extreme level of xenophobia – but none of those can or will play well on a world stage that foreigners and all sorts of “those people” inhabit.

As time (and the song) has shown – people need people. The well-being of every person on earth – and every nation – begins and ends with dependency on our social and professional interaction with other people, for companionship, for work, for sex, and for love. We cannot be free or happy if we are imprisoned in our own solitude.

Indeed, study after study shows that prisoners in solitary confinement inevitably suffer from schizophrenia and other serious mental disorders. Free in society, those who isolate themselves are prone to paranoia, obsession, depression, agoraphobia, pre-senile dementia, and early onset Alzheimer’s.

Many experts in the mental health field define true madness as the loss of self. If they’re right, and madness ensues from extreme isolation, then it follows that we lose at least a part of ourselves – of who we are – when we forego social interaction, when we lose our connection to other people. The “other,” then, becomes not only necessary for our optimal survival but must also be an integral part of each of us. Who of us, for instance, does not carry inside someone living or dead – a parent, a lover, a friend, or mentor – who in some way changed the course of our life and helped make us who we are?

Even higher education – colleges and universities – was originally conceived not only as a venue of advanced learning but as a necessary social and psychological bridge from narrow adolescent groupings to the larger adult society.

Especially in democracies - which are by definition created “of the people, by the people, and for the people” – we are dependent on other people in every aspect of our lives.

But Romney and Paul Ryan are distancing themselves and their party from the immutable truth of community and what it means by adopting a by now all too familiar “I did it all by myself” stance.

First because it’s not true – both Romney/Bain and the Ryan family have depended greatly on government contracts, subsidies, and corporate tax exemptions. Romney often puts forth his involvement in Staples as proof of his extraordinary skills as a businessman. But one of Staples’ biggest clients is the Department of Defense – our military – with $13 million in orders. And in the second quarter of 2011, Staples received a $21 million tax refund through a special exemption. As for Ryan, his grandfather built the construction company that has provided for three generations of privilege on the back of government highway contracts.

Secondly, it’s just too much too bear from the neo-Gatsbys of Massachusetts and Wisconsin who were more than a tad bit dependent on the rich families that gave them a leg up. Someone has to explain to these two the old axiom that if you’re born on third base you did not actually go to bat and hit a triple. They did not build lives of privilege and elite schools and exceptional opportunities all by themselves. They had help from their DNA, those who loved them, and many others. To be successful, it does indeed take a village.

Mitt and Paul and all of us are dependent on workers who make furniture, who build houses and apartment complexes, who labor on the assembly lines, who pack our microwave lunches, and who make with their hands all the things the rest of us need. And yet, like the soldiers in Afghanistan, Mitt didn’t find them worthy of even one mention during his convention address.

Dad works two jobs, Mom works one and takes care of the kids, and this family has the temerity to feel they’re entitled to food or to some kind of basic housing? A soldier in Iraq gets his legs blown off and now expects healthcare? A senior citizen who paid into Social Security every two weeks for more than fifty years now has the balls to demand the government fork over a check every month? What an outrageous lack of personal responsibility!

More than 400 years ago, John Donne wrote an elegant prose section in Meditation XVII that he later turned into a poem.

Still, when referring to 47% of our population in what was supposed to be a top secret briefing to financial backers, Romney says: "My job is not to worry about these people."

That doesn’t cut it – a President’s job is to represent and worry about all the people – the richest and the poorest, the healthiest and the most infirm, the overworked and the unemployed, and everyone else. You cannot lead if you do not care for all the people.

So for Mitt and Paul – and all the rest of the rugged Republican individualists who built everything by themselves with absolutely no help from others, all of them who are not in the least involved in mankind – the death knell of the upcoming Presidential election tolls for thee...and, hopefully, for your sociopathic mindsets as well.

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A Tale Of Two Grovers
A Last Pitch For Truth
America: Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.
Gotcha!

Portishead’s pre-Coachella, private rehearsal in L.A. is about to get a lot less private. It’s still daylight but people are lined up for a city block outside the Mayan Theater on downtown’s Hill Street. Inside, the venue is crowded with industry types and journalists -- experienced and sometimes weary... more

Portishead’s pre-Coachella, private rehearsal in L.A. is about to get a lot less private. It’s still daylight but people are lined up for a city block outside the Mayan Theater on downtown’s Hill Street. Inside, the venue is crowded with industry types and journalists -- experienced and sometimes weary veterans of many rehearsals, concerts, and bands -- and even they buzz with anticipation for tonight’s performance. There is a flush of excitement in the air that has become contagious. This is the first time Portishead has played a gig in Los Angeles in a decade and it might be the last. Singer Beth Gibbons takes the stage and at the first sound of her voice, the crowd goes silent, enchanted. By the encore’s finish, Gibbons eases off stage and into the crowd. She smiles, shakes hands… she is both delicate and devastating. The crowd goes nuts.

The media may love its rock gods and heathen priests, but it loves its elusive characters as well. Portishead’s power comes from the unspoken, sensual language used to craft each song, piece by piece, with the elegance and self-discipline of musicians who respect one another. Theirs is a camaraderie borne from essential privacy. The band has no public story, per se. They neither feed the headlines nor have managed media personas of any sort. They lead private lives and from that, draw great strength and create great art. Geoff’s rhythm reinforces Beth’s meaning, while Adrian’s tone shapes our mood. The music is mysterious but never misleads; it is never what you expect, but shows it’s meaning when you finally just shut up and listen. Some say its theme is loneliness, but others might say it’s about the possibility of human connection. Regardless, its affect on the audience is spellbinding.

Three days before the rehearsal, I meet with Portishead at the Roosevelt Hotel: Beth is relaxing in her room, Adrian Utley is busy with another interview, Geoff Barrow and I are sitting poolside and we can’t stop laughing. I’ve just given him permission to throw me in the pool. We are surrounded by strange people acting up in strange ways and it’s making him a bit uncomfortable so I’ve suggested an alternative way to relieve the stress of an afternoon filled with press and publicity functions. Indeed, poolside is an odd place to find oneself with Portishead, discussing Third, the band’s new album and first in ten years, released April 29 to coincide with band’s appearance at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival.

Erin Broadley: You seem like you have a very healthy sense of humor. Do you think Portishead is misinterpreted as overly serious most of the time?

Geoff Barrow: Yeah, massively, but you don’t really get to hear from us a lot. Most people are full of bullshit so there’s not many truths out there. You’ve got to take everything with a pinch of salt. I mean, we are [laughs] fairly serious about making music but… I can’t really take myself seriously as a performer. I’m 36-years-old; I’ll probably lose my hair in a couple of years and put a nice little ponch on, you know. Our seriousness comes down to trying to project our music in [a certain] way… we look really miserable because we’re just trying desperately. A lot of people nowadays have backing tracks and tape and we just don’t. We shit our pants every time we play. So far we’ve been really lucky and things have worked out. But you never know in a big gig scenario. We do live on the knife-edge of it actually sounding any good or totally rubbish. [Some bands] work in ginormous situations. We work in a studio.

EB: Controlled, personal…

GB: Yeah, controlled environment. But when it comes to taking ourselves seriously, Beth really doesn’t take herself seriously at all.

EB: One thing Beth said about you is that you’re a contradiction of sorts: in some senses very traditional and then in other senses just hell bent on breaking the rules. How do you find the balance between the two?

GB: I’m passionate about music. I think there’s just so much shit everywhere… politically, business wise, the way that people interact, communication. Portishead really comes about through frustration and we write about the inability for human beings to communicate, human conditioning and the way you’re supposed to live your bullshit life, things that you’re supposed to buy that you don’t really need, mass marketing demographic swipes… talent-less fucks being popular for no reason. It always happens; it was always sex symbols. I’m not a grumpy old fuck at all but I feel passionate that we’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere and we constantly keep on taking those wrong turns. I mean, I think sites like yours make a difference to people. I think that you can live outside the box without fuckin’ being attacked.

EB: Like you can create your own little world where what you do makes sense.

GB: Yeah, and you’re not alone in that world. Because that’s always the preconception that as soon as you disagree with the mainstay of kind of human conditioning then you’re ostracized outside and it’s bullshit, really. It’s strange because we’ve always been considered like dance music…

EB: Really?

GB: Well, I think so, by people who hang around by pools like this.

EB: [Laughs] Doing laps…

GB: [Laughs] Doing laps, drinking cocktails, doing their party drugs, getting their skin cancer. It’s pretty weird; the most horrible people I’ve ever met have actually been through dance music. And all the people I really love are the people that make rock and roll [laughs]. But there’s a definite distinction, especially in England because dance music is so enormous. Dance music in England is extreme electronic, Detroit-based, doing loads of pills and getting off your head… that kind of vibe.

EB: You have always seemed a bit more organic than that.

GB: I mean, we’re fairly hard to categorize but [I don’t know whether] that’s not a good or bad thing, really.

EB: What are some of the other misconceptions that you run in to?

GB: We write music for people to chill out to. That’s the biggest misconception you could ever have.

EB: Do you think people are overly hyping the fact that it’s been so long between albums?

GB: Of course, yeah.

EB: Some are calling it a reunion but, well, you guys never broke up.

GB: We didn’t, no.

EB: How do you keep from being frustrated with that kind of thing?

GB: Well, the thing is, the media as it works, most people you see have already answered your questions. That’s why they’re asking that question because they want a certain answer, because it works for their publication, because it lets them deliver what it is they need to deliver. There’s a lot of journalists out there so they want to make sure they get the job the next time… then it all turns into one cluster-fuck of crap [laughs].

EB: [Laughs]

GB: So, it’s really weird. We’ve met some really nice people and done some good interviews but all you’re doing is fulfilling their needs for product.

EB: The balance between art and commerce…

GB: Oh, massively, yeah. I think that that’s the big thing. I think it’s a ginormous thing, actually, that we seem to always struggle with. When we do TV shows, sometimes we present ourselves in maybe a slightly harsher way. People have got this preconception that we’re actually this arty, English culture…

EB: Standoffish?

GB: Yeah, they might think we’re standoffish because we just present music in quite a harsh way sometimes. In England, recently, when they were telling us to play this track and chop this up it’s like, “You asked us on, you know what our record sounds like. This is us. If you don’t like it then fuck off.”

EB: It seems a lot of popular music lately is compromised by compromise.

GB: [Laughs] So why doesn’t it sell anything? Because it’s shit and it’s been compromised.

EB: It’s like the snake eating it’s own tail.

GB: Yeah, feed the monster. We call it “feeding the monster” all the time …

EB: Feed me, Seymour!

GB: [Laughs]

EB: Being on both sides of the glass, as a producer and musician, how do you know when a song or album is done?

GB: It’s in your gut, really. That’s what it comes down to at the end of the day. I always over think everything [laughs]. But it’s in your gut when it feels finished.

EB: Like, when your kid grows up and you finally just know it’s time to kick it out of the house.

GB: Yeah, exactly. I’ve got two little girls. One’s been sick back in England at the moment. She’s not seriously sick but she’s only four and a half so we’re a bit nervous about it. Kids are kids.

EB: She’s got your feisty genes. She’ll be a fighter.

GB: [Laughs] I fuckin’ hope so.

EB: What were some of your favorite parts of this recording process? You wrote something on your website comparing it to a Tomb Raider or “Lost”. This journey with no answers…

GB: It is. That’s what it was like. And now since we finished it, all the doors are open again so we can really go back into those things again.

EB: Do you enjoy recording?

GB: I enjoy the recording process because the writing and recording and mixing process for us kind of all happen at once, even though we do eventually do a mix of all the tracks at the end. We generally try and write and record at the same time and keep on edging it. Like, one track might have started off as an acoustic track and ends up as something completely different at the end of the album. It’s not over-remixing; it’s just evolving. We definitely try hard not to do just standards. The idea for us is to progress musically, all the time, if we can. The whole idea of this album was to progress, to sound like us, but not repeat ourselves. Which is really hard.

EB: You did an interview with Pitchfork where you were talking about how you like to discover new things in the studio. What are some favorite tricks you’ve discovered? Like something that came about randomly but turned out really well…

GB: There’s very little randomness in our studio. On this album there’s a track called “The Rip” and it starts with an acoustic guitar and vocal and then I put some drums on it and a synth bass from the start because the idea of an acoustic track was doing my head in. I thought, I’ll write this completely different thing. I decided to play half the track acoustically and then fade the track in, which is kind of like a studio thing anyway, but I did it and listened to it back I was like… there’s these things that you do, they’re really rare, like once every five years you get something that gives you chills. And that’s what you do it for, totally.

EB: It’s different for every artist but for actors sometimes the only reason that they do movies is to get to experience something they’ve never experienced before. Is it the same for you?

GB: Yeah, I think it is. We changed. It might be subtle direction change to some people but it could be massive to others. I’ve heard the people go, “Oh I can’t listen to that its weird, that’s not Portishead.” And it’s like, “Well, it is because we’re us.” But other people go, “Oh yeah, it’s great, I really like that…

EB: Who is anyone to decide what Portishead sounds like?

GB: Yeah. But you get these people, especially nowadays in our media friendly world. It was sort of weird; in 1998 we did this massive tour and we did all this stuff and then I kind of quit music for like three years.

EB: You also started your own label, Invada, during that time.

GB: Yeah. The label mainly deals with drone metal and just experimental jazz stuff and anything that’s just fucked and a bit interesting. I met so many nice people that are just so not into the music industry… no commercial aspirations because they know what they’re doing is just fucking odd. I met those people and just instantly it was like…

EB: You’re home.

GB: Yeah. It really was. And I discovered bands like Sunn O))) and Ohm. I fuckin’ love Ohm. And people like Electric Wizard and bands like Silver Apples and lots of old English psych stuff. The Coral, we produced their album and they’ve got an amazing collection of stuff. Interesting, old, horror rock-and-roll stuff.

EB: I read that you love old soundtracks and they’re a big influence on you.

GB: Yeah. Not so much on this record but in the past it used to be. Soundtrack people used to be able to really experiment with sound. Because they don’t have to write a song, they just have to hit a drum and put it through an echo and all that kind of mad stuff. So lots of stuff… Can, the Plastic People of the Universe who are a Czech republic psychedelic band from the mid-70s, they’re brilliant. Really out there. And they got locked away for playing music.

EB: In jail?

GB: Yeah. In the Czech Republic.

EB: Wow. Are you excited about where this album might take you? You’ve said before that with the amount of time that went by between albums, what it allowed you to do was get rid of that pressure to come out with a big success which was nice because then you got to do whatever you wanted.

GB: Well, we’re contract free now in publishing and recording. So, to be honest, we’re just kind of not too sure whether we want to play the media game anymore, at all. I think we could always play it and I don’t mean that in an arrogant way. I just mean that if we release interesting music then hopefully people will be interested in it. I think that we might disappear even more and just carry on releasing music and just let the music talk.

EB: Would you miss performing live?

GB: Well, we could possibly still do that. I just don’t know how because if you consider traditionally on a 10-pound album in the UK, the band would get 80 pence and then we would give 20 percent to management and then might end up with 15 pence on an album or something. And I’m not just talking about money here, but obviously that’s what you need to live.

EB: That’s the thing, we can talk about art versus commerce all we want but at the end of the day you gotta eat. Your family’s gotta eat.

GB: Exactly. So we’re going to investigate. We’re talking to people about deals but, to be honest, I’m finding it’s tougher and tougher doing the interview thing and finding it tougher and tougher to communicate with the media. Because, there are some brilliant journalists out there, but everyone’s got to do shit to survive and sometimes I’d rather not be part of that game. And that’s a really lucky position to be in, to have that choice. But sometimes I think we just think, fucking hell, how ridiculous is this. I think you can just put out a mission statement and just put out how you feel about that stuff on the Internet now. Why we took so long to make this record [is because] we had to feel it, really. So the future’s going to be interesting, I’m actually genuinely excited about releasing music by ourselves and not having to compromise.

EB: How’s it been with your fans?

GB: We have very little contact with our fans, really. It’s not because we don’t want to, because everything that we do is in our music...

EB: Audiences can be harsh, like asking you to apologize for taking time to record the album you wanted.

GB: [Laughs] Yeah. See, that’s kind of fairly weird. That’s just the monster. The monster has created people like that. They basically go, “Well, I want it now.”

EB: They’re all Veruca Salts.

GB: Basically, yeah. That’s who I see; Veruca Salts everywhere. But they don’t know any different because that’s the way they’ve always had what they wanted, because manufacturing in China is cheap.

EB: And information is cheap.

GB: Yeah, exactly.

EB: But you have you draw the line somewhere because an album might belong to you but the band doesn’t.

GB: Yeah, I know, but a lot of people probably think that the bands do. Strangely enough, I think a lot more people in America think that the band owes them something more than any other country. That’s what I’ve noticed. Like, “Why haven’t you done this?” That is the weird thing about the Internet. We dip our toe into it. I usually drunkenly add a blog [laughs].

EB: How do you keep from losing your head?

GB: I kind of do, a lot. I kick the shit out of stuff. It’s usually just using my punch bag or throwing Yorkshire pudding through a window, which I did recently. I burnt it and it was after a bad week so I just chucked them through the kitchen window. Not a good idea, really.

EB: There’s nothing like the sound of a shattering window.

GB: [Laughs] I know. Dangerous! I play a lot of football, you know, soccer. It’s never violent ‘cause I’m fairly unfit… any anger that I have is just taken out by collapsing on the floor.

[Both laugh]

Third is available in stores now. For more information go to Portishead’s official site.

by Damon Martin (image) Over the past four seasons, Sons of Anarchy has been a show that has developed its cast along with its storylines. Creator Kurt Sutter has always created formidable villains inside and outside of the outlaw motorcycle club, but for Season 5 he upped the ante when introducing all... more

by Damon Martin



Over the past four seasons, Sons of Anarchy has been a show that has developed its cast along with its storylines. Creator Kurt Sutter has always created formidable villains inside and outside of the outlaw motorcycle club, but for Season 5 he upped the ante when introducing all new big bad Damon Pope.

Described as the biggest gangster in Oakland, Pope's name was first introduced at the end of Season 4 when enforcer Tig Trager took out his daughter accidentally when gunning for the leader of a rival gang. Now, Pope wants payback and he's getting it with devastating results, with all of the members of SAMCRO falling victim.

Veteran actor Harold Perrineau, who portrays Damon Pope, has worked for some of the best show-runners and directors in all of Hollywood, but he knew he had to be ready when stepping onto a set headed up by someone with the presence of Kurt Sutter.

"I've been saying this all along that I need to show up and know my lines because Kurt Sutter, he writes the shit out of that show. I'm really glad everybody really liked it, but that first episode Damon Pope is no joke," Perrineau said in a recent interview with SuicideGirls.

The first episode officially put a face to the name Damon Pope, and his reaction when coming head-to-head with the man who killed his daughter was nothing less than incendiary.

With his enemy Trager tied up in chains, Pope revealed that he had kidnapped his daughter and put her in a pit alongside several other victims. After dousing her with gasoline, Dawn Trager awoke, but only for a few seconds, before Pope stared at her father and said, “Know my pain,” as he tossed his lit cigar into the pit, burning the young girl alive.

In his veteran career, Pope had seen a lot and acted in some very tough and even disturbing scenes, but even he was taken back when he read the script to the first episode he would appear in as the ominous Damon Pope.

"Kurt and I had the conversation after I got the job, and he said 'listen, your character's going to do some heinous things. Don't judge it, hopefully just go with us.' I was like, 'I was in prison in Oz, on Lost on the island, you probably couldn't scare me with anything,' and that first thing I was like 'Oh my god!'. I was flipped out as soon as I read it. I was like here we go," said Perrineau.

We’re now well into Season 5, and Pope hasn't slowed down with his systematic destruction of the Sons of Anarchy. Perrineau promises that burning a girl alive may seem harsh, but that's nothing compared to what's ahead.

"Without giving away anything, he's definitely a different character. It was really interesting when I got the gig, and people asked me if I knew how to ride bikes, and if I looked really cool on a bike. I said 'You won't see Damon Pope on a bike.’ When you do see Damon Pope you'll know why," Perrineau stated. "So this is a different kind of monster for SAMCRO and it's going to be tough for them to deal with him. All I can say after the first episode is it just gets worse."

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by Lee Camp (video) Did you know that Transformers is a propaganda film produced by Toyota? Or that The Hangover was made by the recreational drug industry in order to convince people that blacking out is fun? Or that the new Maggie Gyllenhaal flick Won't Back Down is a propaganda piece by the people... more

by Lee Camp



Did you know that Transformers is a propaganda film produced by Toyota? Or that The Hangover was made by the recreational drug industry in order to convince people that blacking out is fun? Or that the new Maggie Gyllenhaal flick Won't Back Down is a propaganda piece by the people who want to privatize education?...I have a confession to make. Those first two sentences were lies. (But that last one is true.)

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Moment of Clarity: This Video Is Not Fracking Offensive
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by ChrisSick It's very early in the morning here, well past my weekly deadline to bring Tactical Animal, first, to my editor, then to all you fine people. There have been significant travails in the Sick Cave of late, and many more yet lay ahead. I won't bore you with the largely irrelevant... more

by ChrisSick

It's very early in the morning here, well past my weekly deadline to bring Tactical Animal, first, to my editor, then to all you fine people. There have been significant travails in the Sick Cave of late, and many more yet lay ahead. I won't bore you with the largely irrelevant details, just suffice to say, I blame Ed Gillespie. As ever.

Moving on, as I'm sure you — patriotic and well-informed citizen that you surely are — are aware, there's a debate a'coming. This Wednesday, October 3rd the first of three Presidential Debates will be held. The topic — domestic policy. The format — six topics covered in fifteen minute segments, each candidate will have two minutes to respond to the opening question with the balance of the time used to more thoroughly explore the issue. The host — Jim Lehrer, whom my entirely made-up sources assure me will not be moderating the debate while drunk. Quite a bold move on Mr Lehrer's part.

But! I foolishly promised you observations didn't I? Yes, I am almost positive I was foolish enough to do that. Well, let's stop wasting time and get right into it.

Observation the first: The best way to win is to tell every one you're going to lose.

This is the nicest these campaigns will ever be about their opposition until they're drafting concession speeches. Because modern political debates aren't about, say, thoroughly exploring issues in a deeply meaningful way with great respect given to the context and nuance necessary to understand complex political, social, and economic problems. They're basically about doing your best not to create a photo opportunity like this:


[Image:Democratic Undergroud]

And to that end, it’s all about lowering the bar to the point where the pundits are impressed by your ability to speak in complete sentences, Sarah.

Observation the second: If you haven't gotten the drift yet, this is all pretty meaningless theater.

The debates are, at bottom, good television – in that they're entertaining. Granted, that's mostly because hardcore political junkies generally turn them into drinking games (drink every time Mitt Romney says 100%, drink whenever Obama blames W.). Which is, in large part, why the media hypes them up so much. But as Gallup bluntly put it in the title of an article, “Presidential Debates Rarely Game-Changers.”

Ms. Saad does go on to say that in close elections — specifically citing Kennedy/Nixon and Bush/Gore — debates may influence the race, because a percentage point or even two might matter. Of course, good political junkies already have a deep and abiding interest in those two races, due to allegations and accusations of fraud in both races, and contentious court battles that ultimately either re-affirmed — as in 1960 — or de facto appointed the President.

The Gallup article also posits that it’s not unlikely this debate could have a significant impact on the election, due to the overall tightness of the race. However, they also note that it’s nearly impossible to tell — given all the factors of any election — how much changes in the polling are due to debate performance. After all, there aren't many historical polling models for a candidate standing up and saying that he doesn't even care about 47% of the electorate.

Final observation: The polls are not wrong.

In my last column I mentioned the emerging talking point from the right that the polling data showing Mitt Romney losing is unreliable because...well, because so many survey respondents insist on self-identifying as Democrats, and pollsters insist on not ignoring them. The talking point has now been forcibly mated with Gallup results showing a sharp decline in trust in the media:

Note the wild hyperbole, the sky-is-falling dementia, the pounding-the-fist-on-the-table insistence that — at any minute — the Republic will fall apart thanks to the efforts of yellow-bellied “journolists” who carry the President's water and don't report how Mitt Romney is really going to steamroll over him come November.

All of which, I'm just guessing, is primarily in service of ensuring the Pat Caddell always has a home — and a paycheck from — Fox News and other reliable right wing media centers that learned long ago there's more money to be made in telling their audience comforting lies than any disquieting truths.

Caddell contrasts the findings in the Gallup media poll, which shows that only 26% of Republicans have “a great deal/fair amount” of trust in the media with the 58% of Democrats who express the same trust to “prove” that the media is liberally biased. I, on the other hand, would like to suggest an alternate hypothesis: Maybe Democrats aren't so shit-scared the media is lying to them because they don't have shrill cunts like Caddell shouting it at them constantly.

Here's a collection of headlines from just this past week to underscore the point:

1. “Bogus Polls and Declining Dem Registrations,” Powerline Blog
2. “The Media's Fatal Slide Continues,” Washington Times
3. “Democrat Delusions Driving Pro-Obama Polls,” Washington Examiner
4. “Juiced Media Polls: The Newest Negative Ad,” Big Government
5. “Is This The Most Corrupt Press In History?,” National Review Online

Lest I be accused of being a partisan hack, let me point out: I've seen headlines that similarly constructed alternate realities and boggled my head from leftwing journalists — EJ Dionne sticks out in my mind — before, as well. In the last forty-five days before the 2010 midterms, many Democratic talking heads and pundits were clinging to the idea that the coming battering of Democrats in the midterms wasn't going to happen.

Wanting to stick your head in the sand and ignore an uncomfortable reality isn't a uniquely partisan emotion. However, one key difference here is that those liberal pundits who were insisting that the Tea Party wouldn't be able to deliver electoral defeat to Democrats weren't attacking pollsters as corrupt, or claiming that Fox News was an existential threat to American Democracy, or saying that we were witnessing the end of accuracy or honesty in media.

They weren't arguing — to their audience, a large segment of the population —that if their candidate(s) lost, it would be because of a willful and deceitful conspiracy that joined “mainstream” media with one political party for the purposes of subverting the will of the electorate.

Because that job was, and apparently still is, fully staffed by a voracious shadow media that makes its living scaring the living shit out of white people, many of whom are heavily armed. Sleep well on that one tonight, friends.

Finally, my big-time, fake-political-pundit-style prediction, just for you:

Next week's debate?

Won't matter a bit.

Romney's bleeding percentage points daily and he's too risk-averse by nature to try anything major to “shake up the race” and under far too much pressure to execute a risky maneuver well should he be convinced he has to “go for it.” The President will primarily be playing defense, bobbing and weaving around questions about his record while directly challenging Romney to call him a liar to his face, a strategy that he hopes leaves Romney no place to go — forced to either back down from previous attacks, or defend them to both Obama and Lehrer with little substance to them.

It won't upend the polls, and it won't be pretty, that's for damn sure. You're probably better off just skipping them all together, not bothering to come up with a complicated drinking game, and just heading straight to the bar.

The election is 36 days, 2 hours, and 26 minutes away. After that? I'll meet you there.

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by Damon Martin (image) Over the past four seasons, Sons of Anarchy has been a show that has developed its cast along with its storylines. Creator Kurt Sutter has always created formidable villains inside and outside of the outlaw motorcycle club, but for Season 5 he upped the ante when introducing all... more

by Damon Martin



Over the past four seasons, Sons of Anarchy has been a show that has developed its cast along with its storylines. Creator Kurt Sutter has always created formidable villains inside and outside of the outlaw motorcycle club, but for Season 5 he upped the ante when introducing all new big bad Damon Pope.

Described as the biggest gangster in Oakland, Pope's name was first introduced at the end of Season 4 when enforcer Tig Trager took out his daughter accidentally when gunning for the leader of a rival gang. Now, Pope wants payback and he's getting it with devastating results, with all of the members of SAMCRO falling victim.

Veteran actor Harold Perrineau, who portrays Damon Pope, has worked for some of the best show-runners and directors in all of Hollywood, but he knew he had to be ready when stepping onto a set headed up by someone with the presence of Kurt Sutter.

"I've been saying this all along that I need to show up and know my lines because Kurt Sutter, he writes the shit out of that show. I'm really glad everybody really liked it, but that first episode Damon Pope is no joke," Perrineau said in a recent interview with SuicideGirls.

The first episode officially put a face to the name Damon Pope, and his reaction when coming head-to-head with the man who killed his daughter was nothing less than incendiary.

With his enemy Trager tied up in chains, Pope revealed that he had kidnapped his daughter and put her in a pit alongside several other victims. After dousing her with gasoline, Dawn Trager awoke, but only for a few seconds, before Pope stared at her father and said, “Know my pain,” as he tossed his lit cigar into the pit, burning the young girl alive.

In his veteran career, Pope had seen a lot and acted in some very tough and even disturbing scenes, but even he was taken back when he read the script to the first episode he would appear in as the ominous Damon Pope.

"Kurt and I had the conversation after I got the job, and he said 'listen, your character's going to do some heinous things. Don't judge it, hopefully just go with us.' I was like, 'I was in prison in Oz, on Lost on the island, you probably couldn't scare me with anything,' and that first thing I was like 'Oh my god!'. I was flipped out as soon as I read it. I was like here we go," said Perrineau.

We’re now well into Season 5, and Pope hasn't slowed down with his systematic destruction of the Sons of Anarchy. Perrineau promises that burning a girl alive may seem harsh, but that's nothing compared to what's ahead.

"Without giving away anything, he's definitely a different character. It was really interesting when I got the gig, and people asked me if I knew how to ride bikes, and if I looked really cool on a bike. I said 'You won't see Damon Pope on a bike.’ When you do see Damon Pope you'll know why," Perrineau stated. "So this is a different kind of monster for SAMCRO and it's going to be tough for them to deal with him. All I can say after the first episode is it just gets worse."

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In his 30 year career of writing, directing and producing movies, John Carpenter has made more people mess their pants than Billy Madison. He is best known for directing the original Halloween, The Thing and more recently he was unofficially “inducted” into the Masters of Horror by directing two episodes... more

In his 30 year career of writing, directing and producing movies, John Carpenter has made more people mess their pants than Billy Madison. He is best known for directing the original Halloween, The Thing and more recently he was unofficially “inducted” into the Masters of Horror by directing two episodes in the first two seasons. For his latest episode Pro-Life, recently released on DVD, Carpenter again teamed with the writing duo that penned his first episode, Cigarette Burns. Pro-Life tackles the sensitive issue of abortion and whether there is a right situation for having one but puts it into a horror movie context with terrifying and gross results.

Buy the DVD of Pro-Life

Daniel Robert Epstein: What are you up to today?

John Carpenter: I’m waiting for basketball to start. I’m a big basketball fan.

DRE: I’ve heard.

John: I’m going to play a couple of videogames. I’m finishing up one so I can make room for God of War 2.

DRE: It’s funny, I told a friend of mine that I was going to be talking to you and he said, “Ask him about basketball and videogames.”

John: Well, it’s March Madness so that’s always fun. I watch that out of the corner of my eye. But I’m a real big NBA fan. Right now, the Phoenix Suns and the Dallas Mavericks are just great. They had a great game the other night.

DRE: What’s your favorite team?

John: You got to love your home team. You got to be true to your home team but the Los Angeles Lakers suck. We’re just in awful shape right now. But I like the Phoenix Suns. I like the Dallas Mavericks.

DRE: Have you always been into videogames?

John: No, my son and his friends actually got me hooked on them. I guess it was in the 90’s. As my son grew up and became interested in videogames, I played along with him. I really loved it so I had my second childhood through him.

DRE: What systems do you have?

John: I have PlayStation 3, I have Xbox 360, I have PlayStation 2 but I don’t use it much anymore. I’ve got GameCube that I just don’t use. I’ve got basically everything.

DRE: I don’t know if you’ve seen 300 yet…

John: Not yet. I’m anxious to see it.

DRE: Often when film critics don’t like the story in a movie they will say it is comic-like but since 300 is already based on a comic book they started comparing 300 to a videogame. But they seem to forget that videogames, like comics, have some pretty complex stories. Would you say that videogames are starting to get close to being as complex as films?

John: With some videogames, because you’re involved in the action yourself, are truly exciting. You get lost in it. Whereas a movie is really a passive experience. You’re sitting, eating popcorn. If you’re at home, you’re drinking a beer, smoking a cigarette, whatever you’re doing. That’s a different experience. That’s what I grew up with, movies as passive entertainment. When critics compare 300 to a videogame, I’m not quite sure what they’re talking about. I think they’re talking about computer generated graphics. I think that’s a way in to attack a movie on the grounds that it’s more of a videogame or a comic book or something.

DRE: They can’t insult it by calling it a comic book-like movie. They just come up with something else they don’t really understand to compare it too.

John: Well, it’s all an insult, like this is not important enough. That’s the way it always happens.

DRE: I read about some videogame you were involved with a couple of years ago, Psychopath.

John: Yeah, that’s still percolating away. I’ll be involved with anything if it pays me money.

DRE: [laughs] With Pro-Life, was it just a coincidence that you decided to film another script by Drew [McWeeny] and Scott [Swan] or did you help them with it?

John: The first project that we did on Masters of Horror was a Drew and Scott original that I read [Cigarette Burns] and I thought, “This is great. Let me do this. I want to do this.” Then the second season came up and they pitched me, “We have this idea about a monster movie in an abortion clinic.” I said, “That’s great!” I love working with those boys. They’re just really talented. As writers, they’re very open and we worked it up a little bit. They just do a great job for me.

DRE: Since Cigarette Burns is all about film buffs did you connect on that level?

John: Yeah, we connected in the sense of loving horror, loving science fiction, that kind of a thing. Drew and Scott are very talented writers. They’re very knowledgeable about the genre. That always helps you when you’re doing something like an hour cable show. I suppose we’re all geeks in our own way. My brand of geekdom goes all the way back to the 50’s and 60’s. I’m the older geek.

DRE: You’ve got a couple of years on them.

John: Yeah I do, quite a few actually.

DRE: I thought that Cigarette Burns had an interesting look to it, cinematography-wise and production design-wise while Pro-Life was a bit more straightforward.

John: It was the same crew but it’s a different story. So your look and the way it feels is always going to be dependent on the story. The story and the look of Pro-Life is very different. It is set in a clinic so you can’t really apply the same techniques.

DRE: Had you known Ron Perlman before casting him in Pro-Life?

John: I met Ron for the first time at the very end of Cigarette Burns. There’s a famous hotel in Vancouver, where everybody who’s shooting there stays, called the Sutton Place. I met him in the bar one night and I said, “I really like your work and The Name of The Rose is one of my favorites.” We started talking and then he accepted the role in Pro-Life. It was very cool.

DRE: I read that you’re not a big fan of method actors. Is that true?

John: It doesn’t matter. It depends on how much work I have to do. Some actors come prepared and ready to go. I can give you a list of those, Kurt Russell, Sam Neill, Jeff Bridges. We work ahead of time on the rehearsals and we come ready to go on the set. Some actors need emotional stimulation and support and sometimes intellectual stimulation and support right on the set as we’re doing the work. That’s a little hard. So it’s all about my comfort.

DRE: I read that Ron was a bit of a method actor, but I’m sure you guys got along.

John: I didn’t see method in him at all. We talked real briefly about how to play the character in the beginning. I just said, “Play him as a hero. Play him as a good guy. He’s a strong man. Don’t have one moment of doubt about what you’re doing except for at the end.” That was it. We just did the work. It was fun.

DRE: I shouldn’t have, but I got stoned before I watched Pro-Life.

John: I got stoned while making it.

DRE: [laughs] I really almost got sick when it Ron was aborting the male doctor’s insides.

John: Actually that was a more elaborate scene originally in the script. The boys wrote something I’ve never seen. I said, “You can’t do this, okay? We have to tone this down a little bit.”

DRE: That was toned down?

John: That was really toned down. Oh man, it went on and on. Page after page of it and it was rough.

DRE: I don’t know how much of this new trend in horror, the torture porn, you’ve seen, but it seemed like that sequence was making a comment on that just because it was so outrageous.

John: It is but you don’t see anything. It’s all implied, which is just the reverse. Torture porn is what you see, the close-up. You get to see all the grotesque stuff. Listen I’m a big fan of the Saw movies. I love that shit. I don’t know if I’d want to do it but it’s great fun to watch. It is like the zombie movies in the 60’s and 70’s, with biting chunks out of people and all that stuff. It’s all great.

DRE: I got a chance to interview Drew [McWeeny] last year. He said that you’d never be able to guess his politics from watching Pro-Life. Was it important to keep the points of view a bit murky and not make something more pointed like what Joe Dante did with his Masters of Horror episodes?

John: That’s just not me as a director. Joe did a great job with his show. He did it out of passion. That’s not the way I approach things. I didn’t want to make a political statement though I have before. In the movie called They Live, I made a pretty strong political statement. In this one I can unfortunately see both sides of it so I can understand it. If you want to know my politics, I’m a pro-choice guy because it’s none of my business as a male. That’s a decision a woman has to make. But I understand how pro-life folks feel. I don’t agree with it, but I understand it. I think Ron did a good job being that guy.

DRE: He was terrifying and almost sympathetic until he sucked out the guy’s guts.

John: That’s where he goes over the top. He’s motivated and getting revenge.

DRE: I know you’ve done plenty of television in the past, including your own show. Have you ever had as much freedom script-wise and content-wise as you did with these Masters of Horrors?

John: Yeah, I’ve pretty much always had freedom. I’ve never really experienced too much censorship or lack of freedom in that area. I’ve been lucky. Actually that’s my whole career. Staggered into it. Staggered through it. Staggered to the chair. It’s always been great.

DRE: These Masters of Horror episodes just seem so personal. Is that the result of the scripts or was it the lower budget that makes things seem a bit more intimate?

John: Every director makes a movie in a different way. Takes his ten days of shooting, which is what we had, and takes it to where he wants it to go. Some people write their own scripts. Some folks have scripts written for them. Everybody’s different. But it’s fun to see everybody work.

DRE: Don Coscarelli told me he didn’t want to do an episode for the second season because he says with all the time and energy he put into making it, he feels like he could have made a feature film. Do you have the same attitude?

John: Hell, it’s fine. Look, it’s great to be able to go and prep for a few days and shoot for ten days and go home. You don’t have the physical and emotional pain of a feature. So it’s a vacation time. I still hate to get up in the morning. God, getting up is really rough. But other than that, it’s pretty much fun.

DRE: With Pro-Life, you could have taken the choice to not show the monster, what made you decide to do that?

John: Well, it would be pretty hard not to see him. He’s a pretty good monster. He’s reminiscent of an old movie that I saw when I was a kid called Curse of the Demon [directed by Jacques Tourneur]. That’s what he’s based on, sort of. Drew and Scott had a hand in fashioning him and I said, “I want him to look like your dreams too.” But we kept him in the dark. I think he’s got a big mouth. He roars a lot. Monsters are fun so why keep him in the dark? I remember once this actress and I were having lunch and she was lecturing me like, “You never show the devil. That’s just not done in movies.” I said, “Well, why not? If you could really have a great devil, show him. Where does that rule come down?” So sometimes it’s good not to see, but hell, we love watching monsters. Show me my monster.

DRE: Obviously you’re a big music fan and you do a lot of the music for your projects. How was it working with your son Cody on the music?

John: He was at the right age and he had the right talent. It worked out. It was fabulous. I’m really proud of him.

DRE: I interviewed your ex-wife [Adrienne Barbeau] last year and she said Cody’s band is wonderful.

John: He’s involved in music. He’s also in Japan right now finishing up his degree in Asian studies. He’s a Japanophile.

DRE: Did he capture the John Carpenter music flair that you wanted or did the two of you work on it together?

John: The themes are his. They’re very different than mine. They have their own unique feel to it. I’m just so delighted. It’s also really fun to see him get paid and I don’t have to worry about it.

DRE: I talked to Norman Reedus and I asked why his character in Cigarette Burns didn’t really have any reaction when he saw the angel. Norman said, “Well, what do you do when you see an angel? No one knows.” Was that what your thinking was?

John: If I walked in and saw an angel there and I had somebody like Udo Kier talking to me out of my side, I would think, “This whole thing is ridiculous. This is a fake.” I don’t know what I would think. Norman played it perfectly. I would go with what he said. No one knows.

DRE: I spoke with Will O'Neil who wrote one of those Snake Plissken comic books a few years ago. He had said that you, Kurt [Russell] and [producer] Debra Hill owned the character of Snake. Is that true?

John: Yes, but we share it with Canal Plus. It’s a long story, but the movie was originally made for a company called Avco Embassy. Avco Embassy was sold to Dino De Laurentiis. Dino De Laurentiis sold his share to Canal Plus.

DRE: So in this remake they’re talking about...

John: I don’t know that it’s a remake. I think it’s a lot about Snake before he gets to New York.

DRE: But it just made me think that maybe the remake rights might be different than the rights to the character Snake Plissken because none of the articles mentioned you guys being involved with the project. Are you guys going to be credited producers?

John: Executive producer.

DRE: Do you have any desire to be more involved?

John: My main involvement is I read the scripts and make sure the character is the same character that we wrote originally. I think that would be cool. My other main involvement in this project is to extend my hand and have a check placed in it.

DRE: It’s always nice when you don’t have to do anything, right?

John: You’re right. After 30 odd years of being in the fucking business, it’s nice to not have to do anything and get paid. That’s what I’ve been trying to do all my life.

DRE: Then the past few years must have been pretty good for you.

John: Not bad. Not bad.

DRE: Obviously Snake was a character that was perfect for the time he was in, so do you think Snake will lose the faux mullet?

John: I don’t know what to do about that. That’s not my decision. Snake is a character who was born out of the 1970’s when New York was having real problems. He came out of a post-Vietnam era and he was an anti-authoritarian. He was a really unique type of character back then. He’ll probably be reinvented for his time. But we’ll see. I don’t know if he will be mullet-less or with the mullet.

DRE: Have you ever seen any of Gerard Butler’s previous movies?

John: Yes, I like his work.

DRE: I think you’ll be very impressed after you see 300.

John: I can’t wait to see 300. It sounds really exciting. It looks great.

DRE: You don’t seem to mind these remakes, is that a result of you directing remakes yourself?

John: Well, if I’m not directing a movie, it’s not really mine. I’m flattered when somebody wants to take an old film of mine or a story of mine and rework it. I think that’s nice. I’m not trying to protect golden calf or something. It just isn’t that way. It’s just a damn movie, man.

DRE: On the other side, I don’t think you’re involved with the Halloween remake.

John: No, I bailed out of that after a while. But Rob [Zombie] has been a friend of mine for years. He did a song for me way back when [for Escape from LA]. He’s a real nice guy. He called me up when they were going to make it and I said, “Just make it your own. Hell. That’s the most important thing. Make it yours.”

DRE: If they re-use a piece of your music, will you get a check then?

John: Oh yeah. Big time. There was an agreement made, I can’t remember when it was finalized, but every time a sequel is made there are certain payments. I encourage more and more sequels.

DRE: I heard about this his project that you might be doing next, L.A. Gothic.

John: Well, I’m involved in a couple of things right now. I just don’t know. The script for L.A. Gothic is very good. I’d like to tweak it a little bit, but we’ll see. When it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, there’s always basketball.

DRE: From what I’ve heard, you might not have been too happy with your last feature film [Ghosts of Mars].

John: The experience was pretty grim for a number of different reasons. But I have to take responsibility for it. It’s probably my fault. Look, when one gets burned out on the business, it really can be destructive to you, emotionally, physically, in all sorts of ways. It’s easier when you’re young, but as you get older, it’s more and more difficult. So I decided, “You know what? Fuck this. I’m going to take some time off.” Now it’s been the best time in my life.

DRE: Does doing the Masters of Horror episodes make you think, “Maybe I could spend two years on a feature again.”?

John: Oh sure. I love making movies. I love directing. It’s always been the love of my life. But I do have other issues. Myself. My own happiness. My parents. My mom died a couple of years ago. I went through that.

DRE: It’s interesting that both of your parents were still around with you for so long because you think that a guy who made the films that you made that maybe...

John: I didn’t have parents, right?

DRE: [laughs] Oh, I really screwed this one up.

John: Yeah, I really didn’t have any parents. I was left on a doorstep.

DRE: [laughs] Do you see doing something as personal as dealing with your mother’s death in a film?

John: In this business, I’ve learned to never say never. I’m attracted to stories. If I create the story or if someone else does and it is good, I’d be interested in it. But movies are really about fake life, not real life. Fake life is more fun. Drama, comedy, horror and all those things are fun to do. That’s what I’ve been involved with, in my career so I’ll probably keep doing it.

DRE: I was actually on the set of the prequel to the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. When we were interviewing the producers, I asked them why didn’t they ask Tobe Hooper to direct and they said, “Tobe Hooper doesn't have anything to learn from me. He's done it all a million times.” To me that was just insane.

John: But there’s a grain of truth in what he said. They’re not going to be able to control Tobe like they can some young guy. They can control you better when you’re green and starting out.

DRE: So that’s what it comes down to?

John: Partially it does. If you have a commercial background or a music video background or some tricky background, you bring your panache to the project. So you run around and get a bunch of trick shots and you’re not demanding final cut, so in the end it brings a breath of fresh air to the project. Tobe’s already done his movie. He doesn’t want to do it again.

DRE: What would happen if someone wanted you to remake one of your films?

John: That’s happened. I don’t want to do that. I’ve done it. You’d be treading the same ground. Especially with the Halloweens. That’s where it came up. We finished the story off. But that’s my personal opinion.

DRE: How soon do you think you want to get a project up and running again?

John: I don’t know. Whenever it happens. If I get a project going, that’s fine. If I don’t, that’s fine. It’s not life and death.

DRE: Have you heard of SuicideGirls before?

John: I know all about you. I know everything.

DRE: It’s got tattooed, naked girls who like your films.

John: That’s my idea of heaven. Tattooed naked girls who enjoy horror movies. There’s nothing better than that.

DRE: Have you ever seen a John Carpenter related tattoo on someone?

John: I haven’t.

DRE: I’ll have to email you one.

John: Would you? I think I need to see that.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck

by SG's Team Agony feat. Leandra Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls. (image) [Leandra in Verdugo] Q. Basically my boyfriend never wants to have sex and it confuses me. I wear sexy outfits, corsets, thongs, nothing but a skirt,... more

by SG's Team Agony feat. Leandra

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Leandra in Verdugo]

Q. Basically my boyfriend never wants to have sex and it confuses me. I wear sexy outfits, corsets, thongs, nothing but a skirt, fish nets stockings, but nothing works. I rub on him, even give him head, but he still doesn't want to have sex with me. I don't know what to do!!! Any tricks you could teach me?

A: Firstly, you need to know it's NOT you. Wearing sexy outfits, lingerie etc., will only do so much. I am sure you look amazing!

It sounds like you have a real problem in the relationship here, I don't think trying any tricks will help. How long has he been this way? Has he always been less sexual than you? Sometimes guys just are not sexual, despite the stereotype.

The first thing I think you should do is confront your boyfriend on this issue, but be kind and be gentle, this is a sensitive subject. I know this is frustrating and can do serious damage to your confidence and self esteem, but please try not to take it personally and please don't think you're not hot enough and can't "do it" for him.

He should be willing to go to a doctor and have a few tests done, he may have a medical problem. He may have low testosterone, (you might want to Google that and see if he has other symptoms). He may have erectile dysfunction, which he can get pills for (Viagra and others). There may be a lack of blood flow to his penis, etc. It's important to rule any physical factors out for his health.

Once you have ruled out anything physical, author possible causes could be emotional or mental. Has there been a change in the relationship or a change in his life? Could he be stressed, tired or overworked? Are you guys okay besides this sex problem? It may help him to talk to a therapist. You guys could even consider going to couples counseling together.

Basically, this doesn't usually happen for no reason. Sure, some men and woman are just not very sexual, but there is usually a reason beyond that, especially if it hasn't always been this way. You need to work together to get to the bottom of it, and you need to be supportive as I'm sure this is going to be a little embarrassing for him.

If he is not willing to seek any kind of help, you need to decide if you will be happy spending the rest of your life in a sexless relationship. Personally, I wouldn't be so hurt that my boyfriend wasn't having sex with me, I would be much more hurt if he wasn't willing to try and do something about it.

Good luck!!!

Leandra
xXx

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com