The landscape of standup comedy on television has taken a surprising turn in the past few years. People like Artie Lange, Patton Oswalt and Paul Mooney are doing these amazing standup shows and are videotaping them in a very cool verite way. In the wake of the success of The Comedians of Comedy, Zach... more

The landscape of standup comedy on television has taken a surprising turn in the past few years. People like Artie Lange, Patton Oswalt and Paul Mooney are doing these amazing standup shows and are videotaping them in a very cool verite way. In the wake of the success of The Comedians of Comedy, Zach Galifianakis and director/editor Michael Blieden have teamed up again to bring Zach Galifianakis - Live at the Purple Onion to DVD. Besides Galifianakis’ hysterical set at the world renowned venue, we also get to see his “brother” Seth get interviewed by NPR’s Brian Unger and get some real personal moments with Zach.

Buy Zach Galifianakis - Live at the Purple Onion

Daniel Robert Epstein: What are you up to today?

Zach Galifianakis: I just rolled a joint.

DRE: Nice.

Wait a second, does that mean you’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the day?

Zach: I have a lot to do, but nothing is more important than the ole joint rolling.

DRE: Can you do your normal stuff while you’re high?

Zach: I can’t do anything. I don’t know if I’m going to smoke it. I was rolling it. I’m practicing because my arthritis is really bad and I’m just trying to work on my fingers.

DRE: The only indication that you liked marijuana, was that one of your MySpace groups is the Relegalize It group.

Zach: Oh yeah, somebody added that. I’m probably also friends with sex offenders and stuff like that. But I’m all for the legalization effort of course.

DRE: You don’t do a lot of pot humor, well I didn’t see Out Cold. That’s a pot movie, right?

Zach: It is a bit. But it paints you into a corner if you’re like that. I’d rather have expanded a little bit.

DRE: Do you have a show tonight?

Zach: No, I’m going to go to one of those boring Hollywood meetings in about two hours. I’m going to sit there and pretend like I’m paying attention and nod my head. That’s all I have to do today.

DRE: Is this a meeting for something good?

Zach: I’m trying to get this movie made called Fat Jesus. I’m going around town talking about it and it is usually met with glazed over looks.

DRE: What’s it about?

Zach: The scientific community and the Catholic Church get together and release exactly what Jesus looks like. He looks exactly this assistant manager at Kinko’s. So everybody starts thinking he’s Jesus and he runs with it and his life starts paralleling the last days of Jesus but in the modern world. He’s also a complete loser, stoner type of guy so it’s as if Jesus came back as Pauly Shore.

DRE: Did you write it by yourself?

Zach: I am writing it with my friend A.D. Miles.

DRE: You’re from North Carolina, right?

Zach: I am from the mountains of North Carolina. It’s a small town in the foothills. Now I have a 60 acre farm up in the mountains that I live at sometimes. I’m getting ready for some cows. I’m really happy. It’s really nice. I’m going to make it into a writer’s retreat I think and maybe an all-black nudist colony.

DRE: You really have a farm or are you messing with me?

Zach: No, I really do have one. It’s really beautiful. I have a pond and a tractor and I drive around acting like I know what I’m doing, but I have no clue. But I’m learning how to farm and I love it.

DRE: What made you pick the Purple Onion for this DVD?

Zach: Purple Onion was this club back in the ‘60s that Woody Allen and Phyllis Diller and Mort Sahl and all these comedians used to play. They reopened it.

DRE: Did you specifically want Michael Blieden to direct so it would have the same feeling as Comedians of Comedy?

Zach: Yeah. I want Michael Blieden to work on everything I do because he’s really good at covering comedy. He’s shoots and he doesn’t tell you to do anything and he edits it nicely.

DRE: Did you guys talk about doing this when you were doing the Comedians TV show?

Zach: Well Netflix gave us some money and they said “Go shoot some stand up” and we just did it from there. It was a real organic type thing.

DRE: Netflix is getting into producing a lot of comedy. I saw their John Waters movie and they put out the Comedians movie. They seem like they give a lot of freedom.

Zach: They don’t muddle. They don’t do any of that. You just do it and you hand it in. I have all the say and the editing rights on it and that stuff, so it was good.

DRE: I’m sure you’ve been either offered or talked about comedy specials with places like Comedy Central and HBO. Is what they want out of you much different than what you want?

Zach: I definitely didn’t want it to be too polished. Standup on television is always over produced and everything’s really nice. I wanted the club feel for this. If you do it on Comedy Central or something, there are always a thousand people involved and it doesn’t really have the same feel as when you go see it live. So I wanted it to have the feeling that you are sitting in the room and hearing the drinks clink and people sucking through straws. Michael Blieden did a really good job of capturing that.

DRE: During one of the interviews you said that you are shy, to do what you do did you have to overcome that?

Zach: I don’t know if it’s a shyness rather than a lack of confidence, which I think translates into shyness sometimes. But when you’re working with people that you know, it’s a lot easier. I’ve been on the road with all those guys that worked on the Purple Onion thing. So that helps you loosen up. There’s also beer involved. That’s always a great confidence booster. They don’t let you do too much on Comedy Central. I’m shy a little bit in real life but everything is unleashed when I get onstage. Other than that, I’m pretty quiet.

DRE: I know you riff a lot, is that the right word to use?

Zach: Yeah riff, that works. A lot of it is just experimental. It’s making stuff up in the moment and improvising. I can stick to my jokes, but to be honest with you, you get a little bit bored with that. So I like to ask the audience questions and I like curveballs and all that stuff. I don’t really mind getting heckled. I think it’s fun as long as it’s done organically. I don’t like when people purposely heckle me because they’re trying to make the show better. That never works. They’re like “Hey, man. I just wanted to heckle you because it’ll make your show better.” I don’t fucking need you to make the show better. You’re making things worse.

DRE: You’re not in charge.

Zach: Exactly. You’re not in charge.

DRE: Did you tone any of the riffing down for the DVD?

Zach: I will say this without going into too much detail, I did say something political that was highly illegal. People can narrow that down. There were two references to that. Netflix just overlooked it. I had to call them and say, “You have to take this out. The FBI will come.” So I had to tone that down a little bit.

DRE: It’s funny that they missed it.

Zach: One of the producers, I guess he was trying to make me a martyr. I contacted a free speech lawyer and he said that we should take this on. I’m like “I don’t have time for that.” So it never happened. Thank God.

DRE: It’s so hard to tell what’s real and what’s not real in your act. But I read that your uncle really did run against Jesse Helms.

Zach: Yeah, that’s true. He’s still alive and he’s a congressman in North Carolina. Since my uncle is Greek, the KKK would show up at campaign rallies just to intimidate him.

DRE: Because he was Greek?

Zach: Yeah. My dad’s side of the family is real dark. Like a Greek guy running for Senate is intimidating to small-minded Southerners.

DRE: So you were raised in a very political atmosphere?

Zach: We discussed politics constantly and still do. A very Greek way of being is that you discuss politics. It’s a constant theme at my house. It’s what we talk about all the time.

DRE: Since you do some political stuff in your act, what does your family think of that?

Zach: My parents are very supportive. On the back of the DVD, it says that I want to thank my parents, but I hope they never see this. My parents are liberals, but I don’t think they like their son walking around saying “Who ate all the pussy?” and stuff like that. I tell them that it’s a stage persona, which is not really true but they understand. They don’t care. I could be in pornography. As long as I’m flying them to places, they could care less.

DRE: I saw that you have done Seth Galifianakis before on Jimmy Kimmel.

Zach: My brother has been on Jimmy Kimmel before and he’s performed live with me. I’ve gone on and he follows me. The DVD will be his second like thing on tape.

DRE: So we’re talking like he’s real? That’s fine.

What does Greg Galifianakis think of Seth?

Zach: Greg, my real brother, designed me. I don’t care what he thinks because he was my Dr. Frankenstein growing up since he was so mean to me. But he’s like an angel now so it doesn’t really matter.

DRE: I have an older brother too. So it was him beating the crap out of you that made you all angry?

Zach: It didn’t make me angry. I was angry towards him, but I’m not an angry person. It affects people different ways. I think I learned to use humor to defend myself against him and make fun of him because that was the only thing I could do to rebuke because he was so much bigger than me. My brother is such a gem now and he feels so guilty about all of it.

DRE: I know what you mean.

Zach: At least he says that. But he’s had talks with me where he started crying because he feels so guilty.

DRE: During the scenes with Seth, they kept in Brian Unger actually laughing. I didn’t expect that.

Zach: I told Blieden to cut that out. He’s like “No, you’ve got to watch it again.” You start laughing as Brian is laughing. We had a hard time keeping a straight face. None of that was written. We were just fooling around.

DRE: Once again it’s hard to tell if what you were saying is real. So did a bus driver really did pull your pants down?

Zach: That’s true. My brother did stuff his underwear in my mouth and yell out, “I’m giving you a gag order.” I’m trying to think of all the stuff that was on there. There was maybe one embellished thing.

DRE: I never thought about this before but Sarah Silverman told me that the reason that she had to change her act every night was because the same people were coming to all the shows. Is that why you do your standup that way?

Zach: That’s a good point Sarah makes because you do get these nerdy followers around town and it forces you to do new stuff, but screw them. I’m not doing it for them. I get bored with the same old, same old. When I go on the road I stick to my act, but in these little rooms in Los Angeles or New York, I do the more experimental stuff.

DRE: Is Dog Bites Man officially gone?

Zach: That’s done. Yeah. That’s cancelled.

DRE: You told Michael Showalter that you didn’t really love doing the show.

Zach: I really liked doing the show. It’s the same producer of Ali G, but Ali G went after people with power. There’s a different feel to it. We went after the religious right and we went after the Republicans and I have no problem with that. There were a couple of things that maybe didn’t even air, there was one time we were doing an interview and I started crying out of character. I was like “What am I doing? What am I doing?”

DRE: Oh wow.

Zach: It was inside this church. We were interviewing this preacher and he was so sweet. We went into this Megachurch thinking we were going to take on a certain kind of person. But it turns out sometimes people are just good people. Plus we had all these lawyers behind us. It felt a little bit iffy that way, to be honest with you.

DRE: Let me guess, Matt Walsh and [Dog Bites Man creator] Dan Mazer didn’t care.

Zach: No [laughs].

DRE: They didn’t care one bit I bet.

Zach: No, Matt Walsh was the hardest worker on the show. But Matt puts these blinders on and he just goes. Matt will say the most horrible things to anyone. But he’s a really nice guy and Dan’s a really nice guy, but when it comes to nabbing people, they were a little bit more ferocious than perhaps I was. I think Dan’s theory is that he thinks everyone’s a cunt.

DRE: I remember when your talk show ads were all over Manhattan. I had at least two people go to me, “Who is that guy?” I’m like “I don’t know who he is. I’m not in college.” Was that a surreal moment when they were plugging the hell out of that thing?

Zach: Yeah. My mom happened to be in New York at the time. She was in Times Square and she called me and she was like, “My God, Zach, your face is everywhere. It’s on the side of a building.” I’m like “I know mom, it’s bizarre.” But I wish they had not thrown that show on so strong. I wish that people had found it. In the TV business, they want a hit right away. It was weird. In Los Angeles there was actually a corner where I had a billboard up and then my roommate, who was a Banana Republic model, had a billboard up and we were facing each other. We were staring at each other through billboards.

DRE: You are actually in the Sean Penn movie [Into the Wild].

Zach: Yeah, it sounds like a joke. I didn’t audition for it. He called my cell phone and next thing I know, I’m in South Dakota with him in a hunting lodge for two weeks. The first thing I asked, “How the hell do you know who I am?” He goes, “I’ve seen that movie Out Cold about 20 times.” I’m like, “Really?” His son is a big snowboarder, so his son forced him to watch it. For Into the Wild, there was no written dialogue. I just showed up and improvised it all.

DRE: Is it an all improv movie?

Zach: No, it’s all strictly scripted, But Sean was like, “I’m just running the camera, so try to come up with stuff,” which is a bit intimidating. Hopefully I’m still in it. I’ve run into him a couple times and he says I’m still in the movie, so maybe.

DRE: You do a lot of movies. Do you want to be a serious actor or have a sitcom?

Zach: At this point I just take what rolls my way. I don’t really sit around going, “Oh, I’m going to take this project because it really spoke to me” because a lot of it is shit. I take a lot of jobs based on where it’s shooting. If it’s not in Los Angeles, that’s a big bonus. But in the coming years I hope to have little movies that I’ve written that I can be in. A less aggressive Woody Allen type of brand would be really nice like his early silly stuff.

DRE: Do you rewrite movies like Patton [Oswalt] and Brian [Posehn] Brian [Posehn]?

Zach: No, those guys all do that. I think that takes discipline and I’m too busy collecting firewood and trying to keep my house warm. Those guys are good at that. I haven’t gotten into that world yet, but I’m just focusing on my tractor and farming and when things come my way or if I come up with an idea, I’ll try to pursue that. I’m more of a shaker than a mover. Let’s just put it that way.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck

Back in 1984 Slayer and other metal mainstays Venom and Exodus hit the road on what was dubbed the Combat Tour. According to band legend, one drunken night on the tour bus, Slayer frontman Tom Araya -- just a tempestuous twentysomething -- stumbled down the hallway looking for a place to take a leak. more

Back in 1984 Slayer and other metal mainstays Venom and Exodus hit the road on what was dubbed the Combat Tour. According to band legend, one drunken night on the tour bus, Slayer frontman Tom Araya -- just a tempestuous twentysomething -- stumbled down the hallway looking for a place to take a leak. Venom vocalist Cronos joked that the bathroom was right there, in his mouth. Araya proceeded to whip it out and piss all over Cronos' hair. Sure, Cronos left Araya with a shiner but it's all part of what makes Slayer, well, fucking Slayer.

After more than 20 years and 13 albums, the thrash-metal titans are still going strong and with the release of "Christ Illusion" in 2006, some say Slayer is better than ever. Not only is "Christ Illusion" the first album in 15 years with the original lineup -- Araya (vocals/bass), Kerry King (guitar), Jeff Hanneman (guitar) and Dave Lombardo (drums) -- but it also managed to earn the band a Grammy, proving you never know what to expect from these California natives.

SuicideGirls caught up with metal legend Kerry King to chat about the "Christ Illusion Special Limited Edition" (out now), the band's summer tour with Marilyn Manson, and the joys of breeding snakes...

Erin Broadley: So Slayer just released a special edition of Christ Illusion, which is the first album you guys have put out with Dave Lombardo on drums in over a decade. How is it to have the original lineup back together again?

Kerry King: Well, we’ve been touring with Dave since ’02 so to us it’s old news, but for fans it’s cool because it’s the first thing he’s gotten to stay on since the ’90s. I think for the kids still, it’s like the gift that keeps on giving. Slayer putting out a new album with Lombardo for the first time since 1990, you know, it’s like Christmas every day.

EB: Right. How did the shows go in Europe?

KK: Cool.

EB: Those were not with Manson, correct?

KK: Just a couple. We played together in Switzerland and I actually held up bus call so I could go check out his show because I hadn’t seen Manson play in years. So I went on stage. Actually one of our old guitar techs is working for Manson, so I went up for the first five songs and hung out in guitar world and got to see what it was about. So looking forward to it, looking forward to having my first drink of Absinthe in a month next week [laughs].

EB: Yeah. One of our writers interviewed Manson a few weeks back and he said that he has to drink Absinthe every day because if he doesn’t, he’ll melt.

KK: I know, it’s the strangest thing, man! I remember when we met he did a photo session for Revolver. He brings out these three cups of Absinthe.

EB: Oh man.

KK: He’s like, “I’m drinking, who’s in?” I was like, “Oh, we’re going to get along fine.”

EB: I thought when you drink Absinthe, that’s when you’re supposed to feel like you’re going to melt -- not the other way around.

KK: It doesn’t do anything to me. Either that or I’m not drinking enough of it. Manson mixes it with water. I’m like, “Why are you mixing it with water man? Drink that shit straight.” I guess if he’d been doing it all day maybe he needed to put water into it [laughs].

EB: Do you have a favorite bottle you carry around with you like that?

KK: Well, I generally don’t drink before we play. I think of the fans first.

EB: For sure.

KK: I’m sure there’ll be a moment or two where me and Manson will light it up before we both play. When we did that show in Switzerland it was like that. I know a lot of people on his crew so it was like, “Come do a fucking shot before we go on stage.” So we did. For me, I usually drink whatever vodka flavor of the month I’m on. You know, we’ve always got Jägermeister backstage.

EB: When you and I first met at an Ozzfest press conference a couple years back, you made me do shots of Jäger with you.

KK: [Laughs] Imagine that…

EB: Wasn’t it only noon? You were like, “Dude, come on” and I said, “No I hate black licorice.” But you insisted so I thought, “Well fuck, who’s going to turn down shots of Jäger with Kerry King?”

KK: Yeah, it’s good [laughs].

EB: Well, getting back to the tour you guys are doing with Manson, during Manson said that with this tour you guys are “bringing Satan back.” I’d have to argue that when it comes to representing the evil in rock and roll, I don’t think it ever really went away. What do you think?

KK: No, I don’t think it went away. Something he probably didn’t bring up, which rings a bell with me, is that it seems like more and more people are coming around to our way of thinking. I’m not saying everybody’s going to be Satanists, but for me it’s like questioning what you’re told. I think a lot of people don’t just sit and think, “Oh yeah, go to church on Sunday…Jesus is good. Jesus is great.” I think people say, “Well, why is Jesus good? Why is Jesus great? I’ve never seen the guy. How do I know this is real?” I think people are questioning the norm more than they did 15 years ago.

EB: Well, I always say that if there is a God, the only reason he rested on the seventh day was because he was fuckin' hung over.

KK: [Laughs] Yeah.

EB: Do you see Slayer’s music providing any answers for those people who are “questioning the norm”?

KK: Well, the way I write 90 percent of the time is to throw up issues but not give a definitive opinion. I mean, to me the opposite would be Rage Against the Machine. Zack has an agenda. He makes sure everybody knows it and he wants you all on board. I don’t like to do that because I think some of our fans are still too impressionable and they’ll just believe it because you tell them to.

EB: Right, and then you’re kind of being the same thing you’re preaching against.

KK: Yeah. Like, when I say, “Religion is hate” -- I mean that’s a definitive statement, that’s what it is to me.

EB: When it comes to your fan base, do you find that there are a lot of new recruits still coming on board?

KK: Oh, absolutely. In the last five years I’ve seen more kids than I did when we were coming up. [Slayer] has definitely jumped generations and it’s really cool to be able to do that. There’s no formula, there’s no recipe. I guess you just stay relative long enough to where older brothers or parents hand it down and say, “I’m so into this, I want you to dig it.”

EB: Slayer, entertainment for the whole family.

KK: Hopefully the kids aren’t going to rebel and say, “Well I hate it because you like it.”

EB: You’ve mentioned before the importance of integrity to the band. Do you find that a lot of other metal bands out there are lacking integrity?

KK: Well there’s a revolving door as to who’s playing in a lot of bands. So there’s no question mark there. We never made questionable records where you thought, “Well, I wonder what Slayer is going to be playing when they come to town this time.” You know, it’s just like you know what’s coming to town. You know what’s going to be happening. You know you’re going to have a good time. You know people are going to be talking about it for the next few weeks. It’s as close to a guarantee, I think, as anything out there.

EB: You guy’s won a Grammy this year for the song off Christ Illusion called “Eyes of the Insane.” That must have been a pretty surreal experience.

KK: Actually I was on tour and I had a day off that day and I was at the gym when that went down. I came back from the gym and I had all these texts on my phone. I’m like, “Well, either something really good or something really bad happened” [laughs].

EB: Yeah, either someone died or I won a Grammy.

KK: All the congrats and when I came back to earth and went to the bar later and people could get a hold of me, they were like “Oh, congrats.” Whatever, you know, I don’t really care. The same day I won “Man of the Year” through Metal Hammer’s reader’s poll. That means more to me because the fans voted for it.

EB: Right, right.

KK: I think people in the Academy you know, I think as far as metal goes, they have no idea. That just told me we’re a household name. I think they probably picked it because it was [also a] video. I think if you were to ask them, “What’s the other nine songs on the record?” they would have no idea.

EB: Where’s your Grammy? Is it in the house?

KK: Yeah, we’re moving right now so I left it in the box. I’ll definitely display it. I’ve got two Metal Hammer Golden God awards. I’ve got two Kerrang! awards. I’ll have a little award shelf and they’ll be more prominent. I’ll probably have that one in back and the Golden God ones in the front.

EB: How is the snake breeding going?

KK: I only had one batch this year because I was touring and didn’t pay enough attention. But next year I stand to have 23 clutches of eggs, which could be upwards of 400 animals, you know. That’s going to be huge.

EB: It’s fascinating.

KK: I know people have had them, like Alice Cooper has had them and Slash had them, but it’s technically a secondary business for me.

EB: You know as much about snakes as you do about playing guitar.

KK: Oh yeah, there are people in the snake world that know me for my line of reptiles have no idea that I even touch a guitar.

EB: How long have you been doing it?

KK: I got my first [snake] in ’84. Right after our first big tour and I peaked in the late ’90s. I probably had just under 400 animals of my own. Then I realized it was taking too much time away from Slayer and I sold everything. I got back into it about four years ago on a much smaller scale. I still realize that Slayer pays the bills and I need to pay most time to that because I can breed snakes forever and I can’t play in Slayer forever.

EB: Well hey, you’re a smart man, you’ve got a back up.

KK: Yeah, I mean it took me a while to prioritize but now I’ve got it all right.

EB: And you know, it’s convenient that the two go hand in hand -- being a snake breeder and being in a band. They’re both pretty badass professions.

KK: Yeah, totally, once I actually get my website up next year. If there’s a Slayer fan that’s going to buy a snake he’s going to come to my site because he’s going to want a Kerry King snake. Even if 5,000 other people have the same reptile he’s going to buy it from me.

EB: [Laughs] Hey, well don’t tell Gene Simmons or else he’ll start a snake business. He’ll be like, “That is a great idea. I am a businessman. I’m going to start a KISS snake farm.”

KK: Yeah, he’ll buy me out [laughs].

EB: Right. With Christ Illusion, there was a bit of a debacle last year where you guys felt a little bit dissed when Rick Rubin chose to produce Metallica’s record instead of yours. What was the story behind that whole thing?

KK: That’s probably as much of it as I know. I didn’t delve into it at all. You know, once it was done it was done. I didn’t really care. All I’ve got to say is you know, I want Metallica to succeed as much as anybody because I would love to be a fan again. But now that I’ve got Christ Illusion out, they’ve got something to step over.

EB: Will you guys still work with Rick in the future?

KK: He had his hand on this record. He didn’t do full production but he had his hand in it mixing and stuff like that. If he wanted to do the next record, yeah he’d have a shot at it. I don’t dislike the guy for it or anything. But I think Josh Abraham did a good job on this record so I’d be more than happy to work with him again too.

EB: Right. What’s the difference between Christ Illusion and the special edition?

KK: We’re on Sony now. Sony wanted to re-release the record and have, you know, their own stamp on it so it’s got the song we didn’t finish – it’s got “Final Six” on it. It’s got the video for “Eyes of the Insane.” It’s got some behind the scenes video from Australia and Florida, I believe, just some fan stuff. Everything on there is pretty fun. I’ll watch it. If I was a fan I’d dig this.

EB: I have a quote here from Tom where he talks about the references to death in Slayer’s music. He says, “I think it’s just a common thread in general: we all share death, and we all share it at different times in different ways, but it’s the one thing that we all have in common. We all die. It’s how we live that makes us different.” I thought that was a pretty good way to sum it up. What would you say? What about the life you and the band have lived has made you different, especially amongst your metal peers?

KK: Well, we make up a mean riff [laughs]. It could be something that simple and easy. If I don’t come up with anything better, use that [laughs]! Yeah, you know, I think from the beginning we were lucky enough not to have to not be ourselves to be popular. Before we got our first record deal, we went out and played. We didn’t care if anybody liked us. We liked it. It was awesome and people came around to us. I think that also speaks for longevity. We never had to make believe we were somebody we weren’t. So, we made stuff up we loved. We made up stuff we believed in. We made stuff up we were fans of. I’m still a fan of the genre. I’m still a metal kid. You’ll always find me at Anaheim House of Blues if there’s a metal show in town. I think it all just revolves around itself.

EB: That brings up another question: Playing in this band for 26 years and being a fan of metal obviously longer than that, have you ever come to a point where you’ve felt disenchanted? Have you ever felt like you started to lose touch with being a fan first and foremost?

KK: The funny thing is, we were just in Europe. We played somewhere in Holland at a festival and Heaven and Hell opened for Slayer. That was weird for me.

EB: Wow.

KK: Yeah, that was weird to me. After the show Tony Iommi was knocking on the door and I’m like [laughs], “Stop knocking on my fucking door and get your ass in here! Don’t ever do that again!”

EB: Like, “Mr. King can I come in?”

KK: Yeah [laughs].

EB: What are Slayer’s plans for the rest of the year?

KK: The Manson tour is it. Then I’m off for football season. So don’t call me on Sunday.

EB: Is being home for football a requirement?

KK: No, this is the first football season I’ve been off for years. Usually I’m in Europe and can’t see shit! The last two years I was in European tours and I missed most of the season.

EB: Who’s your team?

KK: Raiders.

EB: Nice.

KK: Gotta be the bad guys.

EB: That, and they have a pretty badass color scheme going on.

KK: You know what, if Al Davis ever kicks the bucket the coolest thing the Raiders could do would be the monochromatic uniforms like all the other teams are doing. They could be all black. Or they could be all silver like little trophies [laughs].

EB: [Laughs] Anybody else in the band a football fan?

KK: Yeah, Jeff’s into it -- he’s a Raiders fan too. He used to wear Wheatly’s jersey offstage. He’s copying my ass because in ’94 I wore Biletnikoff for two years [laughs].

EB: How dare he.

KK: Yeah. It’s my idea.

EB: It’s funny; during the Manson interview he said that he hates watching sports, he reuses to watch them and he doesn’t want to be around anyone who does.

KK: [Laughs] Hey Manson, get in here, you’re watching this.

EB: I know, right? You just thought it was a coincidence that you got to go home for football season but maybe in reality he scheduled it to pull the plug before the jerseys come out.

KK: [Laughs] Yup.

EB: You guys are taking the stage before Manson but you’re excited because now you get to relax and hang out after your set, right?

KK: I know. We never ever get to play except last. So people say “Isn’t that weird?” And we’re like, “No, that’s really cool.” Yeah, Manson will be onstage and I’ll be drunk already.

EB: To wrap things up, I know that you’re a big lover of horror movies. What was the last good one you saw?

KK: 1408. I saw that when I got back from Europe. It’s pretty cool, man. You’re watching this movie and you’re like, “This is fucking wrong.” Just mentally, “What the fuck is going on with this thing?” It was cool. It was mental.

EB: Alright, well thanks for your time.

KK: Hopefully we’ll see you in Irvine.

EB: Hopefully.

"I have a knack for penises," isn't the kind of confession you'd expect from a memoir penned by Samantha Bee, The Daily Show's Most Senior Correspondent. But then I Know I Am, But What Are You? isn't the kind of book you'd expect her to write. Leaving politics and talk... more

"I have a knack for penises," isn't the kind of confession you'd expect from a memoir penned by Samantha Bee, The Daily Show's Most Senior Correspondent. But then I Know I Am, But What Are You? isn't the kind of book you'd expect her to write. Leaving politics and talk of Jon Stewart & Co. mostly to one side, the collection of humorous essays sheds light on Samantha's unconventional upbringing, which in turn sheds light on why her recipe for success includes a hearty helping of sexually explicit material - ergo her theory that "we need to bring more of a porn sensibility to our financial regulatory mechanisms" (see April 27, 2010 Sex-curities XXXchange Cumission report).

We spoke with the Canadian-born not-news show funnywoman (who is married to fellow Daily Show correspondent Jason Jones) about her Granny juice steeped childhood, her affairs with Jesus and her cat, her rebellious dislike of hot ham, and the repercussions of her exposure to penis-laden literature and videos at an exceedingly young age.

Nicole Powers: Congratulations on the book.

Samantha Bee: Thank you.

NP: The absence of two things surprises me: Politics and The Daily Show. Who knew you had a life outside of those things?

SB: I know, it's weird right? People are asking me that because they're interested in The Daily Show, but as I was writing the book I just didn't get there. I just so didn't get there. Also, I can't imagine that it's a super funny story. You don't want to read about people's great successes in life do you? Well, in a comedic way. It doesn't seem that comedic.

NP: Well the place you left off career-wise, where you're bouncing around as a Japanese children's superhero from Sailor Moon in a live kids show, is pretty funny.

SB: Yes, I really stopped the book before I ever started working as an actor. Like I don't consider that to be real acting work obviously. There were years before I got to The Daily Show where I was really kind of working and life was quite normal. But no, I just never got there. I don't know why.

NP: You're just making us wait for volume two.

SB: Volume two - it's a trilogy.

NP: And then you'll make it like Star Wars and write a prequel.

SB: I assume so. Before I was born, when I was just an ovum.

NP: Your book does give us a glimpse behind the confident and collected woman we see on TV. I mean before reading it, I thought the headshaking you practiced on The Daily Show was a genius comedic device that you'd developed through numerous improv sessions and comedy workshops. But now I realize it's just a result of you spending a lot of time hanging out with geriatric tutting relatives.

SB: Yes. [laughs] Yes, that's right. It's not a really storied history. It's a very ridiculous history. I'm just glad to be here now - thank god.

NP: Talking of your elder relatives, I'm curious, how long is a "car-length" coat?

SB: Well it's a coat that when you sit in a car it just goes to the top of the seat, so it doesn't get all bunched under you.

NP: So you don't get a wrinkly bum.

SB: It just goes down to that point at your hip level that you can sit comfortably in a car. It's really for sitting in cars and looking at the park as it goes by while you sit in the warmth.

NP: Since the book deals so much with your childhood, I guess we should revisit some of it. I have to say you totally stole my boyfriend. I mean, Jesus and I so had a thing going on.

SB: You know, wasn't Jesus all of our boyfriends? He was everyone's boyfriend. That's how they got you to become Catholic. I'm totally convinced they needed you to be attracted to Jesus.

NP: He was the David Cassidy of the Catholic Church.

SB: He really was. Did you have the picture of him with the sacred heart?

NP: I didn't have that one.

SB: Did you see Jesus of Nazareth? Did you see our beautiful mini-series?

NP: I saw that and I was really into Jesus Christ Superstar too.

SB: Oh right, of course, of course. Well handsome Jesus is a very important part of recruiting young girls to the Catholic faith and keeping them there.

NP: It's actually amazing that you were recruited by Catholic Church at all considering your dad was a raging atheist and your mom was into Wicca.

SB: Yes. Completely. And they are very anti-religion to this day. My mother, her Wicca practice was really just an answer to my grandmother's Catholicism. I mean, she's always been Wiccan in my memory, but I think it may have started as a rebuttal of my grandmother's Catholic practice, and it just became something she loved and stuck with all her life, and continues to practice to this day.

NP: How would you describe your relationship with the Catholic Church now?

SB: I don't identify with the Catholic Church anymore, so I guess lapsed. There's still a part of me that's Catholic, but it's not a very big part. They're certainly not doing very much to lure me back.

NP: I also appreciated your declaration that "not liking hot ham doesn't make you a freak."

SB: It doesn't.

NP: It made me feel so much better about myself; I was labeled a "difficult child" by my parents because I didn't like ham and peas so I share your pain.

SB: You see. I'm so glad to meet a kindred spirit. It is not wrong to be discerning. It doesn't matter how young you are, sometimes you just don't like things and that's OK. And you know what? If you change your mind and you happen to like cold ham, that doesn't make you difficult to manage, it just means that you are mysterious in my opinion.

NP: It's taken me many years and lots of therapy to realize that it's OK to not like ham.

SB: When Jason and I were getting married, Jason made a sarcastic comment to my stepmother about my love for ham. I think it was one of those, "Well we all know how much Samantha loves ham." She didn't understand that he wasn't saying that I love ham, and so from that moment she served ham just about every time I saw her for about three years. Like ham in the potatoes, ham in the desert, ham ice cream - any place you could tuck in a little ham. She just thought it was so pleasing to me and I felt so terrible.

NP: In the book you talk a little about why you got into acting - the whole well-paid-and-not-really-work aspect - but you don't say much about why you veered towards comedy. I take it you developed a heightened sense of humor as a coping mechanism to deal with the numerous “random penis exposure” incidents that popped up in your life.

SB: Right. [laughs] I really just tripped and fell into comedy. I mean it may seem hard to believe, but I really did. I really wanted to be a very serious actress. I saw myself in a very dramatic way. I thought, "I'm going to be an amazing Lady Macbeth." That was the direction I wanted to take my career in - and no one ever hired me. Ever. No one ever hired me to do anything serious.

I was receiving a message from the universe. And right around that time I started meeting people who were doing comedy and going to their shows, and it really just kind of occurred to me. I thought, well, how do you do that? I was not familiar at all with the world of sketch or anything. I was a consumer of comedy products. I've always loved comedy shows and watching stand up and stuff, but I never really considered it as a career move. It didn't seem like a very wise choice certainly, and so I really just fell into it. Someone dropped out of something and they asked me to replace someone at the last minute. I did it and I totally connected with it instantly, and then continued doing it.

NP: I have a theory about this. After reading Russell Brand's autobiography and then yours I've realized you do actually have something in common. You were both exposed to explicit pornography at a young age.

SB: Oh really?

NP: Yeah.

SB: You know I just saw him on The View. Errm, I don't know why I was watching The View. [laughs] I really don't have time to watch The View.

NP: There's an accidental confession.

SB: Yeah. Very revealing. I was watching The View. Oh, my god! Whatever. It's fine. And he was on, and it must have been so strange for everybody involved...You see how hard he was fighting not to say the word "pussy." He was really working hard not to work too blue.

NP: Russell was exposed to pornography by his dad and you were by your mom. You did stuff with your Barbie, Ken and G.I. Joe dolls as a kid that as an adult I still don't know how to do. I underlined all the positions that you wrote about that I needed to look up on the internet - and there were a lot.

SB: It's funny that you say that because I was at a dinner party with publishers and things. I'm not really accustomed to going to corporate dinner parties. It's not really my thing, but anyway, there I was. There were maybe twenty publishers or something like that. It was very fancy and they stopped the action at the dinner party at one point. They were all in their fifties and they were like, "Now tell us, what is bukkake? Nobody here at the table knows what bukkake is." I was like, "OK, well first of all, that's what Google is for. I'm not going to discuss it with you at the dinner table." But then after, I called my mom right away and I was like, "There were twenty adults at a table and they didn't even know what bukkake was!?" She was like, "What! How could they not know?" And we had a long twenty-minute conversation about it.

NP: Well I work for SuicideGirls.com and I didn't know what it was.

SB: Well there you go. These things are not tip-of-the-tongue for everyone. It's not like we're always talking about it here at work, but we end up tripping across those things all the time. There are people here who have knowledge greater than mine

NP: So of a sampling of celebrity bios read by me lately - which is yours and Russell Brand's - a hundred percent of people that were exposed to sexually explicit material at a young age became funny and/or a pervert.

SB: Well, there you go, how to raise children, a recipe for success - more porn.

NP: Your previous work experience included a stint as a penis-clinic intake technician.

SB: Yes, at an erectile dysfunction clinic.

NP: How did this prepare you for your role as Senior Correspondent at The Daily Show?

SB: [laughs] Well it certainly taught me how to interview people. That was my job - because these men with erectile dysfunction are so shy about talking about it. Well thirty percent of them, or however many, were probably just jerking off, and many of them just wanted to have an ear to talk to or what-have-you. But for the rest of them, they had genuine problems. It was hard getting them to outline exactly what their problems were. It prepares you for the unexpected - I think that's probably the best way to think of it.

NP: And I guess it helped you develop a talent for asking ridiculous questions while keeping a straight face.

SB: I believe so. You cannot laugh when someone - let's say someone you went to high school with - calls one day and reveals himself to you.

NP: No, no, no.

SB: Yes. For many of these men it is the toughest call they will ever have to make, and their problems can be so ridiculous. I mean some of them are real problems and others are not really problems, but you really can't laugh at somebody as they painfully outline their penis problems to you on the phone.

NP: I can completely see how you could draw on that skill when you're interviewing high level politicians.

SB: You really can't afford to blow it because you don't get a second chance.

NP: Have there been any particularly memorable on camera Daily Show moments during interviews that never made it to the screen for whatever reason?

SB: I did have someone walk out on me once, which I'll never forget.

NP: Who was that?

SB: I can't tell you. It was a famous person in the political arena. We never used the footage. We were not allowed to use it. So that is one thing I do remember, and whenever I see that person I give them the evil eye.

NP: It does amaze me that these politicians do open themselves up to ridicule on the show. Because it can very rarely be a good thing when Samantha Bee walks into a room with a microphone. I mean, really?

SB: Well they usually have to have some kind of...

NP: Delusion?

SB: Well, I feel like, in some ways, they are using us as much as we're using them. They never don't have a reason for doing anything. I think that's it. I think they feel like they are going to get the upper hand and they're going to use us in an efficient way. And they're so cocky, I mean, they believe in themselves.

NP: Also, I think that some think if they go on The Daily Show they'll be perceived as being young and hip. But most of the time people that think like that just come off as the fuddy-duddy uncle that tragically embarrasses himself at a kid's party.

SB: Well, I don't want to say that they'll never get their point across. We certainly want people to continue coming to us, and maybe one day one of them will get their point across. You could be the next one sir or madam.

NP: I understand you were the first woman hired by The Daily Show.

SB: That's not exactly true, there's been women before me.

NP: But you were the first full-time, long-termer.

SB: Well, Nancy Walls [who is married to Steve Carell] was there for a while, and there were some others. I've definitely been there the longest, but there were lots of women before me. And we have a new one now.

NP: Oooh!

SB: Yes, we're just staring a female correspondent as we speak.

NP: How exciting. What's her name?

SB: Her name is Olivia Munn. She was on a network called G4.

NP: The tech network?

SB: Yes.

NP: So is she going to be your Senior Geek Correspondent?

SB: I don't know. We'll see.

NP: It surprises me, on screen there are so many men, but you've gone on record as saying it's a very female-friendly environment for you

SB: It really is. I could not do it without their [support]. You know, we're expecting our third child now, and there's no way that that would have been possible without the support of everyone here at the show - especially Jon. I bring my babies everywhere I go. The last round of conventions I had just had Fletcher. Actually he was born just six weeks prior to the conventions, and I brought him and I brought my daughter [Piper]. We were all ensconced in this big hotel room. They just could not have made it more easy [for me] to be a working mother, and I treasure them for that. It surprises a lot of people to hear that actually, but I mean to dispel the rumors that this place is a boy's club - no boy's club would let you do that. I'm not whipping out my boobs in front of everyone and breastfeeding, but I have been on field shoots and pumped in the van filled with cameramen. I've done it. I'll do it again. I'm about to do it again. I don't care. It's good.

NP: It must help that your husband, Jason Jones, is also on The Daily Show. You sort of have his 'n' hers jobs don't you?

SB: We do. We're such nerds. Our desks are right beside each other. We have lots of kids stuff in here, people think we're lunatics.

NP: Matching photos of each other on your desks?

SB: Yes. We wear noise-canceling headphones so we can't hear each other, but other than that it's quite nice.

NP: Yet the most passionate sex scene in your book is between you and your cat.

SB: I know. Have you ever been molested by a cat?

NP: I've never had any kind of sex with a cat, consensual or otherwise.

SB: I'm glad, because nobody should have to go through that. I'm just glad he wasn't a mountain lion or something like that because he could have killed me. I had that cat for twenty years. He only just died in June last year. It was very, very sad. He was with me for twenty years. We were lovers for twenty years.

NP: Again, I have a theory. I know what went wrong.

SB: What went wrong?

NP: You didn't teach your cat your safe word.

SB: I didn't. I didn't know how to say my safe word in cat language.

NP: Is you safe word still "horseballs?"

SB: Of course.

NP: I have to ask why?

SB: [laughs] It's a term of endearment that relates to my husband.

NP: That put a very interesting image in my mind. Thank you!

SB: I apologize.

NP: [laughs] I'll never be able to look at him on The Daily Show in the same way again.

SB: His body is so out there, it's probably the one part that you haven't been entertained by.

NP: It's one of a couple of parts that The Daily Show has yet to expose and exploit.

SB: Exactly.

NP: So what's in store next for Samantha Bee?

SB: Well I need to push this baby out of my body in early August. Then I think I'm going to take about six or eight weeks off, not too long because the mid-term elections are coming up. So we'll be pitter-patter let's skedadder. We're literally rounding up the whole family, all three children, and I think we're traveling with the show. I'll be wearing a BabyBjorn trying to interview people with a baby on my chest.

NP: It's good that you planned ahead so you can push it out before the elections. Do you always procreate around the election season cycle?

SB: Thank god my body seems to agree with my plans. It doesn't always work that way, but in this case it's been quite good. It's behaved very, very well.

NP: Your body is just naturally in sync with the political calendar.

SB: Yes. We're in synchronicity.

NP: A key qualification for The Daily Show.

SB: It is actually. We'll see how Olivia works out on that account, her body - can she sync herself up?

NP: So last question: What don't we know about you that we should?

SB: Don't you know everything now? Hmnn, gee, I'll ask Jason, he's right here.

[talks to Jason off phone]

Other than the fact I beat Jason up? Oh, that I'm doing this interview without any pants on.

NP: I do all my interviews without pants on.

SB: It's so freeing.

NP: It really is. A little breeze and stimulation down there, it helps the brain work.

SB: You need to let your lady parts breathe.

NP: Well I'll let you go, so you can put your pants back on - or not as the case may be since you're with your husband. And I want to reassure you that I am going to try and run the naked photo from your book jacket alongside this interview.

SB: I appreciate that.

NP: I think you may want to be able to tell people that you're naked on SuicdeGirls.com.

SB: I would love to be able to tell people that. I would really appreciate it if you did that.

NP: I think it would look good on the resume too.

SB: It would, yes.


Unfortunately Samantha Bee's dreams of being nude on SuicideGirls.com were cruelly dashed by her publicist who stated: "We aren't sending that image out for publicity." If you want to see Samantha Bee naked buy her rather excellent book, I Know I Am, But What Are You?, which is published by smut peddlers Gallery Books (a division of Simon & Schuster).

I Am Love is a cinematic tour de force that explores the revolutionary power of love. The film is the result of a long-term collaboration between British actress Tilda Swinton (Orlando, Michael Clayton, The Chronicles of Narnia and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) and Italian writer and director Luca... more

I Am Love is a cinematic tour de force that explores the revolutionary power of love. The film is the result of a long-term collaboration between British actress Tilda Swinton (Orlando, Michael Clayton, The Chronicles of Narnia and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) and Italian writer and director Luca Guadagnino, who first worked with Swinton when she took the lead role in his 1999 feature-length debut, The Protagonists.

At the center of I Am Love, is Emma Recchi, played by Swinton. She's a trophy wife acquired by her Russian art-loving husband on a foray into the former socialist republic. By marriage, Emma is part of an Italian industrial dynasty that is born of fascism but embracing capitalism. But having served her primary purpose, giving birth to and raising those that will carry on the Recchi lineage, Emma is searching for a place in life beyond that at the end of a well-laid dinner table. At a point where she's at a crossroads in her own life, Antonio Biscaglia crosses her path. As a chef, he's below stairs and below her status, but he proves to be irresistible to her, and their passion ignites a chain of events that rocks the stability of the Recchi patriarchy.

Though I Am Love is a work of fiction, there are distinct parallels to Swinton's own life. "You're always playing yourself," the actress told The Observer newspaper back in 2005 while promoting the film Thumbsucker. "It's all autobiography, whatever you're doing. It's using them as a kind of prism through which to throw something real about yourself."

With luminous pale skin, Celtic coloring and disconcertingly vivid green eyes, Tilda is clearly not born of Italian capitalist / nouveau aristocratic stock. However she comes from one of the oldest feudal baronial families in the United Kingdom, and can trace her bloodline back to the ninth century, so understands what it is to be a woman in a grand family. The mother of twins by Scottish writer John Byrne, who is twenty years her senior, since 2004 Swinton has been in a much-speculated about relationship with German-born painter Sandro Kopp, who is her junior by 18 years. Though this love triangle has echoes of that in her latest film, ultimately the outcomes are very different. The choice Byrne made to give Swinton his blessing in order to preserve their love and family life for the sake of themselves and their children is as progressive as her partner's alternate choice in the film is archaic.

We sat down with Swinton at the Beverly Hills Four Seasons to talk about her philosophies on filmmaking and love.

Nicole Powers: What originally drew you to this project?

Tilda Swinton: Well Luca [Guadagnino] and I have been friends for a very long time. I say that we've been talking about this particular film for about eleven years but we started developing the story about seven years ago. The reason I can date it is because we made a film eleven and a half years ago and, as tends to happen when you have a long-term working relationship with someone, you make a piece of work and then as that film is being cut you start talking about the next one and it's usually 180 degrees from the one you've just made.

NP: What was the initial concept behind the story?

TS: Seven years ago we made a film, it was an interview. Luca interviewed me and he made a film out of the close-up of me as I talked. It was called The Love Factory and it was basically us having a conversation about life in general, but at a certain point we were talking about love. At the end of the process of making that film we turned to each other and said let's make that idea - the idea of the revolutionary aspect of love - the germ in the heart of the narrative of the film we make.

We'd already been talking about a kind of film, what we call a sense-sational film. For many years we even talked about the possibility of it being a silent film. A film that does things one hopes that the films we adore from [Luchino] Visconti, from [Alfred] Hitchcock, from John Huston do, which is to get you feeling and smelling and luxuriating. We'd been thinking, how is it possible for modern cinema to be sense-sational in that way? To actually be involving in that way, rather than being satisfying as a story or interesting as a concept or maybe overwhelming as a special effects experience. How is it possible to make a modern film that's sense-sational like these classic language-of-cinema films? So that's what we've been discussing for eleven years.

But when we started thinking about the story, we started with this idea of love that we decided to place at the heart of the story, the concept of the revolutionary aspect of love. From that we sort of went outwards. So this love story would happen in the heart of a woman who I would play. She has to be an alien in an environment which is breakable by that love. It has to be able to actually disrupt the status quo. Then like detectives we started to [think] what's that status quo going to be? What is antipathetic to that kind of volcanic love? And then we worked our way through all the possibilities and very quickly ended up in Milan.

NP: Working in Milan, that must have been...

TS: Hot - especially in the winter scenes. Milan was the only [place]. Milan is the subject if you like. Milan is where those families live and go about being very discreet about their lives and their great industrial wealth. The architecture of Milan is everything. You'll walk down what looks like a perfectly normal business street but behind every single door will be a courtyard with some exquisite palazzo inside that's lived in by some great family that made most of their money during the fascist era.

NP: And you refer to that in the movie.

TS: The story in a way is a fable, it's like a fairy story really. It's not a documentary. It's about tendencies, but it's not about any particular family. But the reason why it felt most productive for us to set it in Milan is because we wanted to explore this idea of love and this idea of nature being set, human nature and the bred-in tooth and claw element of natural progress...

And it occurred to us that we're not talking about the feudal aristocracy of Visconti's Leopard, which has much, much more latitude within itself to change, to be organic. It's a much more robust phenomenon the aristocracy because it's a social project. However exploitative feudalism might have been, there's always this sense that it's necessary to keep morphing and evolving as a beast, the whole aristocratic principle. Whereas this kind of high capitalism, you know, it's pretty brutal. It's very anti-natural. It's all based on the idea of denial.

If you're going to spend your days operating a house like that, operating a business like that, ordering countless Diptyque candles and getting more and more fittings for your Jil Sander wardrobes, you're going to have to be in denial about where that money comes from. You can't sit in a corner and worry about the workers who are living in high rises - they're actually earning the money that is keeping you in these Ferragamo shoes - you have to operate a kind of blinker system, and that makes you very vulnerable. It makes you vulnerable to the idea of real natural evolution and change.

NP: Which leads us to the glorious love scene, which sows the seed of change within the Recchi family, which is set within nature - Emma and Antonio are just like animals in the grass.

TS: Well it's all so democratic.

NP: You're stripped of your designer clothes and your pearls.

TS: Completely, it's an animal and mortal business. And of course we then intercut it with what I call these Dallas letters - "LONDON" - and come straight into an industrial London landscape and go back into the concrete world, which is manageable, and again breakable. I mean it is as much about nature as anything.

NP: That scene is so real, so tangible and tactile, and you talk about how you wanted almost to make a silent movie that involves the senses. Obviously the use of food plays an important part in the execution of that in this film, but I also love the way that you used sound and silence. So often when there's a stressful scene in a movie, it's so shrill and high volume that I'm repelled from it. But in this film, when you had those highly emotional scenes you turned the volume down so it actually draws you in, which is such a powerful device to use. The silences speak volumes.

TS: It's a very honorable tradition, and it's something that we learned from Hitchcock. Hitchcock is always talking about the style of a film being the content and the dialogue just being atmosphere. We knew always that we wanted to make a film where what people actually said to each other was not really that important. For that reason we decided that the woman, Emma, would be out of her own language. She's not an articulate person. She's not somebody that uses language, possibly not even in Russian. The most she speaks is when she's talking about her past to Antonio. She's not someone who relies on expressing herself verbally.

And we wanted to show behavior more. I remember saying very early on to Luca that I wanted to make a film where the way in which a woman would roll up a ribbon off an unwrapped present would tell you more than some long speech about her life. Just those details, which you don't often see in modern cinema - you still are able to look for that kind of detail in modern novels but you can't really look for it in modern cinema very often - we wanted to recoup that possibility.

NP: Right, there's not the texture there anymore.

TS: The texture and the observation, for the camera to observe that. For there to be both in the direction but also in the cinematography the possibility to go there and catch it, and not always be there and be listening to what's being said. To look at body language and to feel the way in which people fill space. To try and work out what they're thinking and feeling rather than just listening to what they're saying.

NP: The film also explores the idea of happiness. There's an amazing line that your daughter says in the movie where she talks about how happy is a very sad word. In cinema and literature there's always a price to be paid for happiness. We're always told that about happiness, and made to feel guilty about it.

TS: Well I think the idea of love as some kind of antidote to pain, the myth of romantic love, particularly two people in a romantic situation being joined together in such a union that they will never feel pain again, and they will never really need to be alone again, and in fact they will never experience anything alone again either, this kind of bondage forever, is something that we talked about in that film The Love Factory that was the genesis of the idea of this film.

What I was talking about in The Love Factory was a different kind of concept of love, which is that at the very heart of a real proper concept of love is an idea of loneliness. That if one is really, really in proper collusion with one's own loneliness then one is really in a fit state to love another person. And that's something that I think parenting has the opportunity to teach you, which is why Emma is presented as a really quite advanced mother. I mean the way that she is able to embrace her daughter coming out and they way that she gracefully absorbs her daughter's liberation, and the way in which her daughter comes out to her, there is absolutely no feeling of there being any schism for Emma at all.

It shows that she actually is quite an advanced mother. She's prepared for her children to leave. She understands enough about love in relation to the love of her children to know that she is alone from them. They have left her now and they are going on to live their own lives, and she's kind of cool with that. So the idea that to truly love another, whether it's in a romantic situation...I mean her husband has the opportunity to love her at the end when she says to him, "You no longer know who I am. I love Antonio." He has the opportunity to say, "That's fine." And, "On you go, my love. I will support you." For him to love her conditionally, so conditionally that he actually says to her, "You don't exist," that's a very archaic and breakable kind of concept of love I think.

NP: Going back to this idea of love being a cure for loneliness, I always think you should work on being as complete of a human being as you can on your own, then you'll likely find and attract other complete souls. But if you consider yourself to be half of a being and are set on looking for another half, all you'll find is another incomplete soul. Even if you find a partner under those conditions, instead of ever being whole you're destined to walk through life as two incomplete or broken souls.

TS: Well the idea that loneliness is either something that should be healed or could be healed is completely ridiculous. I think it's a modern construct, and it's something by the way I think that capitalism has co-opted very successfully. The idea that the second you feel lonely you have to go out and buy more stuff, and that you can actually be cured of your loneliness by buying more stuff is one of the ways that capitalism actually works...

Lonely people make the best company it seems to me. And there's a difference between alone-ness and loneliness. But really that existential loneliness of knowing that at the end of the day you are the only one on your particular path means that you can really properly communicate with somebody else who knows the same thing about themselves.

I mean, what do you do with the idea that you have to cut parts off yourself in order to be in communion with somebody else? Whether they're a lover, or whether they're a child, or whether they're a mother or a father or a brother or a sister, or even a friend, to sort of go, "Well, we're very close but I used to love to go raving, and I can't go raving anymore because he doesn't like it" or "I can't go raving anymore because my children wouldn't approve," that's kind of a terrible waste of life.


I Am Love opens in theaters on June 18.

It’s close to the year 2020. America’s slow, arduous decline is accelerating thanks to a protracted war with Iran and other ill-conceived military adventures. Interior states now have their own border checkpoints, manned by farm boys in Kevlar vests. GovTV comes with your standard cable package. What... more

It’s close to the year 2020. America’s slow, arduous decline is accelerating thanks to a protracted war with Iran and other ill-conceived military adventures. Interior states now have their own border checkpoints, manned by farm boys in Kevlar vests. GovTV comes with your standard cable package. What few technological and scientific advances have occurred seem to be exclusively in the realm of surveillance and gadgetry, but that’s about to change. At its most secretive levels, the government is running tests on an ultra-rare Bolivian virus that appears to have an incredible property, namely the ability to affect the thymus gland in a way that results in deceleration of the aging process. A project codenamed “Noah” is commissioned, and death row inmates in prisons across the country begin to find themselves being shuttled out of their cells hours before their executions, bundled into vans with blacked-out windows and disappeared.
Meanwhile, this hardened world is wearing down one single mother in Iowa as she slips through the cracks, going from a waitressing job to mopping floors to turning tricks at roadside motels while her six year-old daughter stays locked in the bathroom. Soon Amy – an extraordinary little girl with the ability to communicate with animals – will find herself alone in a world that’s coming apart at the seams. A world in which the government will be powerless to halt what it began, and in which the final editions of newspapers will scream headlines like “Chicago Falls.” And all this is just the sprawling prologue to Justin Cronin’s new 800-page epic, The Passage. Time is what the title refers to – the book’s main story begins only many years after the dust of a worldwide cataclysm has settled, and a new epoch in human history has been christened as A.V. SuicideGirls recently called up Justin Cronin in a Midwestern hotel to discuss the book.


Ryan Stewart: I just finished the book last night, and I guess my first question is: Governor Jenna Bush? Is that even possible?
Justin Cronin: [laughs] Well, the easy answer is no. I put that in there at a moment when I just needed a governor for the state of Texas. I did put it in there as a kind of joke, but I wasn’t quite sure what the joke was even when I did it. On some level I just liked the idea of a governor named Jenna. I got a call from my British editor, and he had two questions about the Bushisms in the book: One was that he was very concerned that there was no way they would name Houston’s major airport after George Bush, after the last eight years, and I had to explain to him that it already was, in fact, the name of the airport. It’s named for his father, though. And also the governor thing, and what I said to him about that was “Yes, I get that it’s far-fetched, but anyone who thinks it’s impossible doesn’t know anything about the dynastic nature of Texas politics.” But yeah, some people have said it’s the most horrifying part of the book! Make of it what you will.
RS: Would it be fair to say your intuition about our near future is not overly optimistic, even without vampires?
JC: I’m a parent, and as a parent you’ve got to stay optimistic. But the book is an expression of anxieties of various kinds. They’re the anxieties I’ve had since I was a kid, and I think they’re the same anxieties a lot of people of my generation have. I grew up in the Cold War -- I was born in 1962. I literally came home in a basket and then the Cuban Missile Crisis happened. The Cuban Missile Crisis is taught in school now, but what they don’t really say is that it was absolutely the most dangerous moment in the history of human civilization. There is no question about it, nothing else even comes close. And I was a baby, so it didn’t bother me at all then, but sometimes I think that something about it just went straight into my DNA. So, yeah, I grew up very, very worried, as we all did in that era. I grew up underneath a very dark cloud. The difference between the Cold War era and the era we live in now is a question of clarity. The only good thing about the Cold War is that we knew exactly what to be afraid of. It was very clear and nothing else could compare, you know? Twenty thousand warheads all pointed at each other. But since 9/11 there’s been a danger out there, but we just don’t know what form it will take. We’re living in times of great stress and anxiety about all kinds of things, and I wanted to try to wrap all of these things into a single form. But you don’t write a book like this because you think that’s what the future is going to be like. In a sense, it’s not forecasting. It’s like when audiences first went to see Oedipus; one of the reasons you read a book like this is so that you can come out the other side and know that you’re still safe. And like I said before, as a parent I must be an optimist. The future I will not live to see is the one my kids will live in.
RS: Did you read Alan Weisman’s The World Without Us or any other books of that kind, to get a sense of what the world would be like after a hundred years of neglect?
JC: The Weisman book I did read some of, but I’m not sure if I read the whole thing. But I have to be careful, because when I write a book I try not to read other books that would overly influence my project in various ways. For instance, I didn’t read The Road by Cormac McCarthy, which came out when I was beginning this novel, because he’s such a distinctive stylist and I knew that we would kind of be working in a similar vein. Mostly I just sat down and concentrated really hard. I used a lifetime of knowledge I had accumulated about things and materials and people to figure it out and make good decisions. For instance, I used the Southwest because it’s dry and the moisture is what wipes things away. Houston would dissolve like a pill in water in a hundred years. Some structures would not, of course – the last thing standing will be the freeways. But a small town in a desert region of Southern California would just be slowly buried. You’d still have mummified corpses because they’d have dried out so quickly, particularly if they were in cars. I wanted to use a region of the world where the ruins of the past would be more vividly present. So, I did a lot of research, but a lot of it was just me being forty-seven and having thought about a lot of this stuff.
RS: There have been some heady comparisons made between this book and The Stand. Is that just lazy journalism, or maybe a result of this book’s epic length?
JC: I think when people compare books to other books it’s just a form of shorthand. It’s a way of saying ‘This has similar content.’ But once you start doing that you open the floodgates. No book is invented whole cloth, because no plot is invented whole cloth. It’s just saying ‘This book gave me a similar experience to that other book,’ and in that sense it’s just a way of starting a conversation, even though it’s not a good way of summing up the whole thing. So, yeah, I have heard that a lot. I’ve heard ‘It’s The Stand meets The Road meets The Andromeda Strain meets Moby Dick,’ you know? The range of books that influenced this one is very large. I thought about the great adventure novels that I read as a kid, like Larry McMurtry’s Lonesome Dove, which was an important book for me because it’s such a sprawling epic with great characters. It both uses genre and also completely leaps over it. Any book about a great journey will make reference to The Odyssey, you know? And there are references to The Odyssey in here, there are references to three plays by Shakespeare that were important ones to me – it’s a huge range. It’s a kind of garden of references to other books, but I do think you can read and experience The Passage all by itself without having read any other book in the world, although I don’t know who that person would be. There are some writers who will do the pretending of ‘Oh, my book stands alone and there’s nothing else like it,’ but I’ve been a college professor way too long to buy that. I would prefer to just throw my arms around the idea that all books are in conversations with other books, and have fun with that idea. There are lots of little winks and Easter eggs in the graphs.
RS: Is one of those winks the references to “paleovirology” as a science? I didn’t Google it, but I couldn’t tell if that’s something real or if you’re just stringing words together.
JC: I think I just made that one up! It is a big book and I can’t remember exactly how everything worked itself out, but I had a friend who wrote a book about the science of prehistoric pollen, and she had a character who was a scientist that was looking for the first flower. It’s a great novel, Easter Island by Jennifer Vanderbes, and she and I are good friends. She’s actually a better scientist than I am, but we both love science and think it’s interesting and that there’s great material to be had there. If there is no such thing as paleovirology, I’ll gladly take credit for its invention.
RS: I heard that you submitted this manuscript under a gender-neutral penname, and then didn’t use it?
JC: Yes, and you wouldn’t even have known it was gender-neutral – that was the best thing about the trick. It wasn’t like F. Flintstone, where there’s just an initial there because the writer obviously doesn’t want you to know the gender. I chose the first name Jordan, so that if you look at it and you want it to be a woman it will be a woman and if you want it to be a man it’s a man. So, yeah, it was submitted under the very brief penname Jordan Ainsley. It was never meant to survive. I wasn’t writing it under that name, I was only submitting it under that name. The publishing world wants to put books – and the writers of those books – into categories and they want to do it very quickly. It has a lot to do with the way books are sold, but it has very little to do with the way books are written, or at least the way I write books. I’m defiantly uninterested in being categorized as a writer. I never want to write the same book twice, even though I am going to write three books in the world of The Passage – there are three volumes. Everyone says it’s a trilogy, but it’s really not – they are meant to be free-standing books that accumulate, also. But in general I don’t see myself as a certain kind of writer, I just see myself as a writer. I had written two quote-unquote literary books, they were critically appreciated, they had pretty quiet plots, the emphasis was more on the quality of the writing, and I was very proud of them and think they’re wonderful books. I could die happy because I wrote them. But I did not want this manuscript to go out and hit an editor’s desk and then they call up my other books and immediately expect it to be a certain kind of thing. If that happened they would spend their whole time reading going ‘My God, how different this is, how different this is!’ I wanted them to just read the book and experience the book without any kind of preconceptions and without the context of my other books. So, I was never going to keep the name, I just wanted to use it as a way of getting the best kind of read I could.
RS: Having made a deal for three books and committed to an outline, what if you decide six months from now that the next books should go off in a different direction? Would that be problematic, in terms of your book deal?
JC: I think I have pretty free reign. They know the gist of books two and three. And that’s about it, what they know. They have faith in me to continue the story in a satisfying way. My experience as a writer is that every editor I’ve ever worked with keeps saying one thing, even when they were making large suggestions and even when they were offering you elaborate criticisms: they always said “It’s your book.” And they’re right. You can’t tell somebody else what to write. You can’t do it because it doesn’t work, it would be a terrible disruption of the natural chemistry. Psychologically, morally, ethically – pick a category – all of these elements actually combine to make a story out of words. I’ve never had an editor who didn’t stand back and let that happen, but that said I’ve always loved being edited. You have to learn to be a cooperative and attentive listener to editors. But, yeah, if I suddenly decided that these are no longer books about a world with vampires -- it’s about little green men from Mars now -- that would upset them. But I’m not gonna do that. A lot of this is based on mutual trust and respect, just like anything else.
RS: What’s been the reaction of your colleagues in academia to this book?
JC: I’ve got to say that overall the university has been enormously supportive and helpful to me. They’ve basically let me not teach for a few years, but not quit either. Some of that is because I’m a tenured guy. I’ve been there for a while, and I’ve been teaching college for twenty years, and I’m perceived as valuable to the institution. Teaching is my other life and I put a lot of pride into it. I’m good at it. I have former students sprinkled all over planet Earth who show up at my book readings and I’m always very delighted to see them. As for my colleagues, I sort of vanished two and a half years ago when all of this started. Those that I see and hang out with, they’re just really excited. They think it’s great, but the other thing is that Rice is full of rock stars. They have Nobel laureates on the faculty. Everybody there is incredibly good at what they do, though theirs might be somewhat more obscure and mine happens to be kind of public and visible – that’s really the only difference. They have the world’s preeminent Victorianists, you know? So, I’ve always felt really lucky to be there and almost like a sort of imposter because they’re all so smart. In a way, I finally feel like I have my Rice street cred.
RS: The book could garner some interesting academic criticism, with regards to its heightened race consciousness. In the prologue there’s a pronounced black and white divide, a lot of Southern racial rigidity and animosity that feels a bit retro even now; then the catastrophe happens and all of that is completely gone. In the A.V. era, your hero is a young black man and the heroine, his love interest, is a white redhead girl.
JC: It’s the one piece of good news in the whole book. I live in large American cities, I always have. I lived in Philadelphia for eleven years and I live in Houston now, and race is the big subject. It’s the big subject even when we’re not talking about it. And when we talk about it openly, it’s just so explosive and dangerous. So we run away and shut it down, or we pretend like we’re talking about something else. Now, I didn’t do this overtly for some political reason, but I was writing a book about the end of the world. I didn’t want to pretend like that was only happening to a certain kind of person. It happens to everybody, and that means black and white and brown and rich and poor, and that’s all North America. For dramatic purposes the question remains: what happened to the rest of the world? I’m not looking at what happened in Japan or Indonesia, but within the United States I wanted it to be a full-bodied presentation. There’s a line in the book, in the section called The Last City where Ida Jaxon is looking back and narrating the Philadelphia Evacuation and she describes a man as “A big white man with a beard.” And she says something about how you’re not black or white or young or old when you know you’re about to die.
RS: And then she says that it’s funny, looking back all these years later, how there used to be white people.
JC: Yeah. It’s this small community of people and race essentially vanishes because of white people having children with black people and Asian people. It takes just a few generations, then the idea leaves – it’s just gone. There are still certain physical markers, like for instance the references made to “Jaxon hair.” The Jaxon family is African-American and so there’s a strain of darker, denser hair. But they don’t think of it as “black hair,” they just think of it as hair belonging to a particular family. So, the good thing about the world that these people live in – the only good thing, probably – is that that has just ended. I’m glad you noticed that, actually. I haven’t had a chance to talk about it at all. This was the present that I gave to these people, for all of their troubles and sorrows. I wanted there to be one upside. And there are other upsides, actually, just in the way they live. They’re very close, they know each other, they’re very familiar to each other. There are no anonymous people, as most of us kind of are moving through this world. They are a tribe. And this was definitely the thing I wanted to give to that world, and I hope people do notice it, because there is a message there.
RS: Should we expect any more upsides in the coming books? Based on the last page of The Passage, it seems like it’s all downhill from here.
JC: It isn’t, because they know what to do. They just don’t know how to do it yet. The upside will be the upside of heroism, in all its forms. What awaits these people is an opportunity which I personally wouldn’t want myself, but it has been thrust upon them by me, their creator: a chance to rise to the biggest occasion of all. To become myth. To become the basis of a creation story.
RS: When you said earlier that the next books would be free-standing, does that mean you might not necessarily even continue following the established characters?
JC: No, no, I’ll continue with these characters. When I say free-standing, I mean that each book will kind of have a fresh beginning, with some new material injected into the story, and a satisfying conclusion. You won’t send the book pinwheeling across the room in frustration that it didn’t actually end. It’s okay to toss a little cliffhanger in there, a little bit of bait for the next book. That’s pleasurable for a reader, and I’ve watched too many exciting television series. I think we’ve gotten used to these long, novel-like television series. With The Sopranos, all of a sudden television got good, you know? It became like when everybody would wait on the dock for the new Dickens, the new installment. We’ve had a number of really well-written, successful TV shows in the last decade, I suppose, that have re-excited people about the potential of a sustained, episodic narrative, which is what this is. People become addicted to shows now, and I’m very observant of that. I think it’s interesting, and I think it’s good for us. The television I watched as a kid was just crap, really. But now real writers are working in television and producing what are essentially long, episodic novels. I suppose that’s part of my education as a writer.
RS: Does that mean you’d be satisfied if The Passage ended up as miniseries of some kind instead of going down the route of a Ridley Scott film?
JC: It’s definitely going to the movies; that’s how they’re going to do it. That’s an all-together different artifact. And they’re the experts. I stand aside with gratitude at the fact that I have John Logan and Ridley Scott.
RS: Do you expect to be working closely with John Logan on the script? What’s the arrangement?
JC: The arrangement is that he’s the screenwriter and I will consult on matters of necessity, which there are going to be plenty of. I imagine that because this is a three book tale, there’s hope that it’s also going to be a three movie tale, and so they need to know things about volumes two and three in order to appropriately adapt the material. I’ve been in conversation with John especially, but also with the producers and so on about this. It helps them to shape the characters and think about the stuff that movie people think about, like casting. They need to know how old these people are going to get. I can sit down and do anything I want with the stroke of a pen, but they have to call caterers, you know? They have to build towns and get everyone together in the same place, and it’s very complicated. I just make coffee and go to the office. So, yeah, there are logistics that I’ve given no thought to whatsoever that I actually do have something to say about.
RS: Have you seen the movie in your head? Or do you not really think like that.
JC: Well, I grew up watching movies. I was as influenced by movies as I was by books. I grew up in the woods, basically. I didn’t have any other kids around. I grew up in Westchester County, which is now a fancy-schmancy suburb, but back then people couldn’t even commute to New York because they hadn’t electrified the train lines yet. When I went home at the end of the day, or on the weekend, all I had to do was basically wander around the woods. In those days movies were special, because you actually went to a movie theater to see them, and they had one screen. [laughs] I’m making myself sound like Ol’ Grandpa, but it was actually different. The 70s were just different. I remember my mom dropping me off at a Planet of the Apesfilm festival at the local playhouse, and I’d packed a lunch. I sat through all five of those movies, which I loved. The Planet of the Apesfranchise is one that I totally loved as a kid. I had the Planet of the Apescomic books and I even watched the cheesy TV show. But to go back to your question, did I see it as a movie in my head? I think I see everything in my head as a movie a little bit, even this conversation. But I’m also aware that I work in words. What I have is narration, and what Ridley Scott and John Logan have is visual spectacle. They do their exposition with a sweep of the camera and the right details, I do it with sentences. So, it’s in the back of my head; I always try to visually imagine a scene. I’m very loyal to the physical reality of it and I do think really hard about who is standing where and what that means, and what kind of gestures they could make and how far they are away from each other. If a guy is climbing a ladder and he’s carrying something, how’s he gonna do that? I am really careful about things like that, and it requires that I just close my eyes and imagine it so I can get the physics of it right. And not just the physical physics, but the emotional physics: how does it feel to be in that room with those people? And that’s all those years I spent watching movies at the playhouse very attentively, because you couldn’t take a movie for granted then – that was the movie that was going to be at the theater for two months. It was time well spent!
RS: You know, Stanley Kubrick used to annoy Stephen King by calling him at 3:00am during the making of The Shining to ask if he believed in God, things like that. Are you prepared for the eccentricities of movie folk?
JC: [laughs] You know, this whole thing has been moving from one space that I know really well – my head, cause I just sit in a chair and write a book and maybe go in and make a ham sandwich once in a while – to something else, and it really is a trip. If Sir Ridley, who is this great big bear of a man, wants to call me up and ask me questions in his heavy Welsh accent, then far out! You know why? Cause he’s a genius. When a genius calls me on the phone, I take the call.
RS: I think Alicia is my favorite character in the book. Who should be cast?
JC: People ask me about casting a lot, but they don’t ask me specifically about Alicia -- I’m glad you did, because I totally love her. She’s my dream date in a lot of ways. She’s an amalgamation of all these great, strong women. And I really did want to write a book where the female characters were every bit as important and heroic as the male characters and in many cases more so. The men in this book are often baggage handlers to the women! As for Alicia, the funny thing about writing a book is that you do imagine them in your head and they are very vivid and very specific in your mind, but they aren’t really built out of actors. They’re either built out of your imagination or other people that you know. So, it’s challenging to actually say who would play that character and I kind of avoid it, psychologically, so that I can maintain my working relationship with this person. So now I will turn it around and ask you: who would you like to play Alicia?
RS: Scarlett Johansson.
JC: Scarlett Johansson, with red hair! I actually just saw her in what was kind of her first action role, Iron Man 2, and I think she’s got red hair in that too, doesn’t she? Yeah, let’s get it going, let’s make it happen.
RS: I’ll call Sir Ridley.


The Passage is available now in bookstores everywhere.

If I didn’t know better I would think David Lynch was Italian. He uses his hands to describe ideas more than anyone I have ever met. It’s fascinating to watch this man communicate. He pulls out the cigarette pack, the lighter, moves the ashtray, lights the cigarette, puts the pack away the and then,... more

If I didn’t know better I would think David Lynch was Italian. He uses his hands to describe ideas more than anyone I have ever met. It’s fascinating to watch this man communicate. He pulls out the cigarette pack, the lighter, moves the ashtray, lights the cigarette, puts the pack away the and then, once his hands are free, resumes emphasizing his words with enigmatic gestures. Lynch, a four-time Oscar nominee, remains one of the most enigmatic American filmmakers. He first entered the feature world with Eraserhead, which was a five-year journey. Since then he’s directed the film adaptation of Dune, Blue Velvet, co-created the cult television series Twin Peaks and directed many other features. His latest picture, Inland Empire, is the first feature he has shot on video. He's even taking a stab at self-distribution. Inland Empire was another five year journey from start to finish, and once again Lynch is working with old friends and collaborators such as Justin Theroux, Harry Dean Stanton and perhaps his most talented muse, Laura Dern. Dern plays an actor who, after a long dry spell, lands a coveted role in a big film. While filming, Dern's character and the other actors are told that the film is actually a remake of another picture that was never completed for mysterious reasons. Along the way Dern plays two other characters and seems to segue from reality to fantasy without any warning. In other words, Inland Empire is classic Lynch.

Check out the official website for Inland Empire

Daniel Robert Epstein: Hello David, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve been a fan of yours since I saw The Elephant Man as a kid.

David Lynch: Did it freak you out?

DRE: Yes, it did.

DL: Doggone.

DRE: Isn’t that what you wanted to do?

DL: No [laughs] but it’s tough for a little kid. I remember someone telling me they saw The Elephant Man when they were eight. I think it was a little too much.

DRE: I might have seen it when I was nine or ten.

DL: Uh-huh.

DRE: I had nightmares about your elephant scene.

DL: Right, sure.

DRE: It was very scary. Elephants were friendly when I was a kid.

DL: Uh-huh [laughs].

DRE: I look at Inland Empire as more of an art piece than a feature film. Do you see it that way?

DL: No I don’t but I’ve heard people say something like that.

DRE: Do you see a narrative in it?

DL: Yes.

DRE: How many times do I have to see it until I discover the narrative?

DL: You’d only have to see it once. Well, you might have to see it a couple times, but it’s there.

DRE: It reminded me of that old quote of yours from when you first got into film, where you said that you wanted to see the pictures move. Inland Empire feels like you are using the paintbrush to go in many directions. Is that more of an editing process or are you already thinking about this stuff when you’re shooting?

DL: It is weird. It is all from ideas and then the ideas tell you everything. But you get to a point where the ideas are gathered and now you’re getting close to a whole thing, a sequence is indicated pretty clearly. Then there’s a point where for the sake of the whole, another thing happens. When you finally see the whole thing and react to that you see that there’s much more work to be done and then there’s sometimes rearrangements and deletions, maybe even something new that you never thought you were going to use. So it’s a process but driven by the ideas.

DRE: Watching Inland Empire is a harrowing experience for the viewer. Is creating it as harrowing?

DL: When you get an idea it’s like seeing it in a movie so it’s not so much as harrowing, it’s like thrilling. It fires you up because then you know what you’re going to do. You get an idea, you love the idea and you love the way cinema is able to translate that idea. Those things are what drive the boat for me. It’s not so harrowing, but if you get a fragment of a whole, that’s usually the way it happens. Starts with fragments, then an unknown thing opens up and that’s sometimes harrowing, but beautifully harrowing because you don’t know what’s there and you want to know.

DRE: Is it true that you were writing scenes right before you shot them?

DL: No, not right before I shot them, I’d write them before I shot them but not necessarily right before [laughs]. Now a couple of times I wrote them the day before, because I was in a place where I had to take advantage of an idea that was there. It was like a blurred, veiled inkling and then this thing happens and you focus on it and it comes into focus and you see it and you write it down. I was in places where I needed to do something there because I’d be leaving.

DRE: The scene where the prostitutes do the song and dance number to The Loco-Motion reminded me of Lost Highway where in the middle of the movie Robert Loggia freaks on the guy on the highway and also the Naomi Watts audition scene in Mulholland Drive. These are very impressive, in-your-face scenes. Do those things liven it up for you or is that all just part of the process?

DL: It’s part of the process. Different scenes do different things and when you’ve got nine girls dancing to The Loco-Motion or something like that, it’s got to be in the liveliness department.

DRE: Does a scene like that energize the movie?

DL: No, it’s not like you say, “Oh, I need something here.” The idea came along for it. It is not that I feel I need something and then would make something to fill that need. The idea is what’s doing it.

DRE: A few years ago I interviewed David Cronenberg. Now, I’m not comparing the two of you.

DL: Good.

DRE: Too many people do that. I asked him if he puts certain things in his movies to tweak the audience and he told me that if he were to do that it would be more like he was tweaking himself. That seems to jibe with what you were saying with just putting something in a film.

DL: Yes, that would be a real false note and I feel like if you’re true to the ideas and you work on it until you realize those ideas and they feel correct based on the idea, then they have a chance of feeling correct for others. Even if you’re going on a intuitive feel, if you’re true to those ideals, sometimes they’ve got these harmonics, if you dick with them, you might ruin the harmonics. They would be bad things and people would start smelling a rat. You may not even understand those harmonics, but somebody out there might and it’s true on that level and it’s true on the harmonic levels. So you’ve got to be real careful.

DRE: Are the harmonics ever not correct?

DL: No, they have to be. If the notes, the chords are correct, the harmonics are going to be correct. But you may not understand the beauty of the harmonics but somebody else might. If you’ve been true to these notes, they’ve got a chance to appreciate some other thing. On Eraserhead, I don’t remember what it was but I had the feeling that I appreciated some other level of it later, but I wasn’t even aware of it when I did it. It’s that thing.

DRE: Your past films are so recognizable and famous for having great, lush cinematography and beautiful colors. Even though Inland Empire does have those things, it is in a much different way.

DL: It was because I was shooting DV so the quality isn’t film quality. But it is it’s own quality. For projection in theaters it needs to go to film, so you’ve got a certain quality resolution DV up-res-ed to Hi Def and then put on film. All these processes are opportunities to me. They keep adding something that’s really magical and beautiful.

DRE: Besides it being shot on video did you try to shoot it the way you did your other films?

DL: I sometimes put it on the tripod and light it but sometimes it’s floating. Something happened because I’m holding the camera more on this and when you hold the camera you find yourself moving based on the feeling you’re getting from the scene and I think that’s a secretive act. You’re looking and listening and you are just doing things that you wouldn’t do if you had an operator. You wouldn’t be able to tell him in time. It’s more like you’re in there and you’re doing things that you couldn’t have done before.

DRE: Did the idea of the movie come before the idea of self-distributing it?

DL: Oh yeah. People would tell me that I’ve got a three hour picture that no one understands. [laughs] But I long for the 14 year old girls in the Midwest to fall in love with Inland Empire and embrace it. That would be so cool. I don’t see why it couldn’t happen but there’s a whole bunch of things happening and I don’t know all of it at all. It’s a feeling that the studios are just following the music industry. The music industry used to be a big advantage to artists and then those advantages started going down and down and down. To the point where they say, Jack give me your final album and maybe we’ll distribute it. They’re going down low enough so that you say, “Well wait a minute. I’m going to do the same amount of work, take this advance and that’s the last nickel I’m ever going to see.” You don’t see another nickel even if your film is doing good. How depressing is that? So I’d rather go a different route and take my chances. It’s a little bit thrilling to do it. It is a large amount of work but I’m getting to meet the people. I’m getting to meet the theater owners and I’m taking a hair more responsibility than in the past. I think it’s the way of the future.

DRE: I saw the video of you with the cow in Los Angeles on Youtube, are ventures like that something you want to be a part of?

DL: It is what’s just going to happen, but for me, I’m still hanging on to the theatrical experience as the best. But it won’t be too long before there won’t be any DVDs. We will be downloading our films and what you do with it is up to you but I would recommend squirting it on a big wall with speakers in a dark room and seeing it all the way through. Kill the phones so you have that experience and you can go into another world. But a lot of people are going to see it on their phones and their computers but in my book they won’t have seen the film.

DRE: Was it very important to have actors you’ve worked with before like Laura [Dern] and Justin [Theroux] in the main roles?

DL: What’s important is to get the right actors for the roles. If you’ve already worked with them, you’ve already developed a shorthand and you’re friends but that is not the reason to cast them. But when they marry to the part and you’ve got that added bonus, it’s beautiful. Laura is in a film that’s considered somewhat strange, but she has given a performance that will rival anything done this year so I hope she fares very well. The danger is that it will take a while to filter into the culture and miss an award but I think she’ll be remembered for her role.

DRE: It is interesting how self-referential the film is. Much of it takes place on a film set, part of the movie is about a director working with actors, part of the movie was shot in Poland and there’s a Polish character in the movie. Do you like putting what’s happening to you right into your movies?

DL: I also went to New York City but no ideas came in New York. You see what I mean? It’s the ideas coming and how one relates to another. You never know what’s going to trigger them or when they’re going to come. When they come along, then you focus on those and that focus and desire for more brings more in time. So the thing starts growing, you don’t know where it’s going, it just starts growing. A whole thing comes from Poland and from Hollywood. Now if I hadn’t gone to Poland, I don’t think I’d have gotten the Polish idea, but something was happening there. But I’ve gone to other places where something’s happening but the ideas didn’t come.

DRE: What is it you like so much about Los Angeles?

DL: I love the light. I love the feeling. It comes, I think, from the light, maybe more than that. But in LA I get the feeling of all possibilities. A freeing feeling of all possibilities can be gotten.

DRE: You started the short film Rabbits before you finished Inland Empire, did you always intend to put it into Inland?

DL: It started something happening. One thing leads to another, that’s the beautiful thing about the world. So some things you do and that’s it. Some things lead to more and more and more.

DRE: I believe you had some non-professional actors in Inland Empire.

DL: Well there were Polish actors, American actors, professionals and some surprises.

DRE: And regular people?

DL: Regular people, yeah.

DRE: What does putting regular people into your movie do for you?

DL: Everybody’s an actor and they might be bad, but there’s an actor in everybody. So sometimes you meet someone and see that their face would work. If they’re right for that thing, then that’s what you got to do.

DRE: Would you ever work for a studio again?

DL: Well, I haven’t ever worked with a studio, really. But it is like asking, would you ever poke a knife through your chest? Maybe, but I don’t think so.

DRE: Are you already doing things for your next project?

DL: No, I’ve got to do this distribution. But I’m longing for the day to start focusing on catching ideas. Maybe I’ll catch them during the distribution thing. I’ve got some ideas for the next one but a lot more has to come.

DRE: I heard a rumor about more Twin Peaks.

DL: No, somebody asked me about that the other night. I don’t know where that rumor is coming from.

DL: Is there material there for a special edition DVD of The Elephant Man?

DL: I don’t think so.

DRE: What do you think about the rise of Eli Roth?

DL: Oh, Eli’s my buddy. I haven’t talked to him in a long time. Eli is a go-getter and he’s smart and a good guy. So everybody’s got their own voice but Eli, I guess, is making it happen.

DRE: Do you watch many movies?

DL: No. I don’t have time. I’ve got to work.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck

Stan Lee was recently named the 26th most influential American by Atlantic Monthly, but if it was up to me I would have put him quite a bit higher. Lee is, of course, best known as the co-creator of Spider-Man, X-Men, Fantastic Four and dozens more, though controversy has always swirled around how big... more

Stan Lee was recently named the 26th most influential American by Atlantic Monthly, but if it was up to me I would have put him quite a bit higher. Lee is, of course, best known as the co-creator of Spider-Man, X-Men, Fantastic Four and dozens more, though controversy has always swirled around how big his real contributions might have been. But first and foremost Lee has always been the consummate salesman, whether it was selling the latest weird Spider-Man villain to the readers or hosting the television show Who Wants To Be A Superhero?

Lee’s latest projects are totally without connection to Marvel Comics. His company, Purveyors of Wonders, has been producing original characters for straight to DVD movies. One of the best is Mosaic, an animated film starring the voice of Anna Paquin as Maggie Nelson a high school student whose father is an Interpol agent investigating a mysterious race that can change appearance at will. After Maggie is bathed in the power of one of her father’s discoveries, an ancient runestone, she gets all the powers of a chameleon. Maggie teams up with a member of that ancient race, codenamed Mosaic, to defeat the evil Mannequin who wants to take over the world.

Check out the official site for Stan Lee Presents: Mosaic

Daniel Robert Epstein: So Stan, these are the Purveyors of Wonders projects you’ve been talking about for years.

Stan Lee: Yeah Purveyors of Wonder or POW! is our company. Obviously we wouldn’t purvey anything that wasn’t at least wonderful.

DRE: How involved are you with this?

Lee: I come up with the basic concept for what we do. I’ll write an outline or a treatment or something of that sort. Then we find the best script writer to put it into script form and I stay on top of the whole operation.

DRE: Do you find it difficult to keep relevant?

Lee: I have this one problem. I’m a little too hip. I have to cut back as much as I can because I don’t want to lose too many readers or too many viewers because I am too advanced. When I walk past a bunch of kids playing ball in the street I am always surprised when they don’t yell at me, “Hey fella we’re one man short. You want to join us?” I still feel like I’m one of them.

DRE: I interviewed Roger Corman not too long ago who I believe you’re friends with.

Lee: He’s a great guy.

DRE: His company is now doing stuff straight to DVD. I think some of the best stuff I’m seeing now is straight to DVD. Do you feel this is a really untapped market?

Lee: I don’t know how untapped it is because we’re starting to tap the hell out of it. It’s a great market absolutely.

DRE: Did you find more freedom in straight to DVD movies than theatrical films or even comic books?

Lee: We can do whatever we want but I still love movies and television. But the beautiful thing about POW is that we’re involved in all of them. We’re working on movies, TV series, videogames and we’re doing things for cell phones. DVDs are fun because we just decide to do one and we damn well do it.

DRE: People have trouble creating new franchise characters, what’s the key to writing compelling characters?

Lee: Sure I’m going to tell you so that all our competitors can make note and put us out of business [laughs]. The key is to create characters that people will care about and will want see more of. Now how you do that, I am not going to tell you.

DRE: [laughs] We spoke of a few years ago and you said that you weren’t a fan of pure fantasy, did you relax that a bit for Mosaic?

Lee: It depends on what you’re talking about pure fantasy. If your story has nothing but fairytale qualities then I’m not interested in it. Fantasy has to be tempered with reality. For example, one of the famous fairytales is Jack and the Beanstalk. The fantasy element is that he had magic beans and they grew a giant beanstalk that went up to the sky where a giant lived. That’s fantasy, but it was coupled with reality. Jack was a poor kid who lived with his mother. They didn’t have enough money and finally she told him to sell their cow. By making the character’s realistic and empathetic, you can go into fantasy but if everything is fantastic then it gets boring.

DRE: I know that you said many times that the executive producer credit you get on the Marvel movies are honorary.

Lee: I really don’t have that much to do with producing the movies. Though many of them are based on the things that I have written years ago. As far as the production of the movies, there are so many talented people that they don’t need any help from me.

DRE: Would you be interested in being more involved with the Marvel movies in the way you are involved with the Purveyors of Wonder projects?

Lee: Any creative juices that I have, I can expend on POW so I don’t have to butt into other projects. At POW we are doing so many things that I’m totally involved in so I do manage to keep busy and stuff.

DRE: I read that you will be making a cameo in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

Lee: Yes and it’s a great appearance too. I have a couple lines to say and I think the viewers who are old Marvel fans will get a kick out of it because my appearance is based on something that happened in a Fantastic Four story years ago.

DRE: I assume that means Willie Lumpkin will be using his ear wiggling superpower.

Lee: I’m not going to be Willie Lumpkin in this one. I’ll be an even more recognizable figure and I can’t tell you anymore.

DRE: Obviously I write for the internet and so much of the comic book community can be traced back to the fanzines that came about after you started printing people’s addresses on the Marvel Comics letters pages. What made you start doing that?

Lee: I just wanted to make everything personal and friendly and make it seem as if we’re all part of a little club. I wanted to have a warm friendly feeling for everything we did and I thought that helped.

DRE: Did you have any inkling that people would start corresponding with one another?

Lee: I hoped that would happen like that and it did and it was very satisfying. It was very gratifying.

DRE: I read that Atlantic Monthly voted you the 26th most influential American.

Lee: I don’t know how I missed being in the first 25 but you can’t win them all.

DRE: What does being a living legend mean to you?

Lee: Between you and me I don’t give it much thought. I just keep busy doing what I am doing and having fun working with people that I like. That’s the most important thing. I’ve always worked with people that are very talented and whom I like personally so it doesn’t feel like work. You are joining your friends and you get to have a good time.

DRE: I always wondered why it seems that Marvel and whoever their parent company is never gives creators like Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko their due. What are they afraid of?

Lee: I don’t know what you mean but if what is it you would want them to do?

DRE: It always seemed that they never seem to get as much credit as they deserved.

Lee: Everything that they’ve done, their name has been on. I make sure of that. How much more credit could they get? Anytime I do an interview and we are talking about Spider-Man or Dr. Strange, I always mention Steve Ditko. When we talk about some of the other things I always mention Jack. Nobody has been hiding them. Marvel publishes a series called Marvel Visionaries and one whole book was devoted to Jack. I think they’ve done one devoted to Steve Ditko. I’m happy to say they did one devoted to me. I don’t really know what more you would want. I’m not a spokesman for Marvel so I’m not speaking as a Marvel representative but just as a guy outside looking in.

DRE: Years ago Daniel Clowes wrote a book called Dan Pussey and it had a Stan Lee-like character and Kirby had a character based on you in New Gods called Funky Flashman. How did you feel about those?

Lee: At that time Jack was mad at me and he had some fun doing it. I thought it was funny.

DRE: You thought it was funny even though he was mad at you?

Lee: Well, he didn’t stay mad very long. If you’ve worked with an artist for years. it’s almost like a married couple. Every so often you have a quarrel then you get over it.

DRE: Are you working on any new comics?

Lee: Not really. I did some comics for Marvel called Stan Lee Meets. I am in the story and I meet Spider-Man and then I meet Dr. Doom. In another one I meet The Thing and Dr. Strange. John Romita Jr. has done the art. We planned to do that five years ago and I forgot all about it and John was busy. But he got the artwork done a couple months ago. I’ll do a story if something comes up and if they ask me but basically I am pretty much out of comics now.

DRE: Howard Chaykin told me that he doesn’t think comic books are going to last through his life time, which is another 30 years or so, because of computers and the internet. Do you think comic books have a lot of time left?

Lee: I think that comics will be around for a hell of a long time. My gosh, comics are fun to read. Now there is more competition then there has ever been. When I was writing comics they didn’t have television, they didn’t have videogames, they didn’t have iPods and they didn’t have computers. The only competition was movies. But comic books take their place with all the other forms of entertainment and I think that they’ll always be here.

DRE: It’s interesting that you say that while you’re not working on comics anymore.

Lee: Believe it or not I don’t think that I am so important that if I am not working on comics, the companies would fall. People would think that I am stupid or the most conceited guy in the world. Comic books are a great way to read a story. Movie producers are getting more and more interested in comics because they realize that they are great sources of material for TV shows and movies.

DRE: Marvel has many amazing properties but most of them are not nearly as popular as the X-Men and Spider-Man, do you think Marvel has properties that could be as popular in movies as those characters?

Lee: I don’t know if they could be as big as Spider-Man but there is always a chance. I don’t think that anyone will agree with me but I feel almost every character can be successful depending on how you write and produce the character and who plays the role and who directs it.

DRE: A lot more women are interested in superhero comics than ever before. Was that an audience that you found difficult to crack in the 60’s and 70’s?

Lee: Back then there weren’t many female readers but the movies have helped a great deal. Women who have seen X-Men and Spider-Man realize that there is romance, human interest and quite a bit of realism in them besides the fantasy. That’s what women like so more and more women are getting into comics and comic movies.

DRE: You’ve said publicly that you and Steve Ditko were never friends, right?

Lee: Well, we didn’t socialize. But I always thought of him as a friend when we worked together. I had great respect for his brilliant talent. He was so important in creating and making Spider-Man important.

DRE: Do you ever think he’ll show himself publicly again?

Lee: If I had to guess, I would say no. If he hasn’t done it in all these years I don’t know why he would do it now. For some reason the guy just doesn’t want publicity or he just doesn’t want to speak to the press. It’s certainly his prerogative.

DRE: How many Stan Lee related tattoos have you seen on people over the years?

Lee: Quite a few. When I would go to comic book conventions for autographing, very often somebody would roll up their sleeve and say, “Would you sign under the Spider-Man tattoo?” Or under the Dr. Strange tattoo. One of them actually had a tattoo which was a caricature of me [laughs]. I don’t think it did me justice, but hey, what are you going to do?

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck