I actually met Madeline Zima in person at the South by Southwest film festival where her new film, Crazy Eyes, premiered in March. I ended up sitting right next to her, as she took the reserved seat to my left. She was perfectly lovely and laughed throughout the film. By midway through the film I was... more

I actually met Madeline Zima in person at the South by Southwest film festival where her new film, Crazy Eyes, premiered in March. I ended up sitting right next to her, as she took the reserved seat to my left. She was perfectly lovely and laughed throughout the film.

By midway through the film I was surprised she found it so funny though, considering many of the scenes involve what they call “Struggle Fucking.” It’s what it sounds like, you fuck someone even while they’re struggling against you. If Zima was in the scene and she was laughing, then I guess it’s okay to laugh.

Crazy Eyes is a semi-autobiographical film from writer/director Adam Sherman. Lukas Haas plays Zach, an aimless hard partying drinker who becomes obsessed with Rebecca (Zima.) He calls Rebecca Crazy Eyes and pines for her even though she’s made it clear she’s not interested in him, hence the struggle fucking.

Now that the film is out I got to catch up with my movie date properly. Speaking by phone, Zima wasn’t quite as aggressive as her character in the movie, or certainly her character Mia Lewis on TV’s Californication. Zima actually revealed some vulnerable moments and had fun discussing the ins and outs of struggle fucking with me.

SuicideGirls: I’m really glad to talk to you because I sat right next to you at one of the SXSW screenings.
Madeline Zima: You did? Was I doing anything super embarrassing?
SG: You were laughing it up. Did you always see Crazy Eyes as a comedy?
MZ: No. I knew that there would be funny moments because when we were filming it I was laughing so much, but I do see it as a dark comedy. I know a lot of people see it as a lot of different things but I think Lukas is hilarious in it and I think a lot of moments are so funny and Jake Busey is so funny in it.
SG: Is it more of a dark comedy than the dark comedy of Californication?
MZ: I think it’s right in the same vein actually. One is a slightly more intellectual brand of dark comedy and one is slightly more emotional.
SG: So Crazy Eyes is the more emotional one?
MZ: I would say so because I think it all comes from a place of really wanting to be loved and wanting to find that moment, whereas I don't know if necessarily that’s the goal of Californication or that’s the goal of the writers or anything.
SG: Let’s talk about struggle fucking.
MZ: Okay. [Laughs]
SG: Should I try struggle fucking with the women I date?
MZ: I think it’s a good idea to ask before anything that is not just normal consensual sex happening, but I don't know. My personal opinion is that I think men should be more, not in a creepy way, but should be more aggressive with women because women have to fulfill so many different roles and have to be aggressive because we want to get the guy interested, or have to be feminine. If a guy likes a girl than he should go up to her and be forthright and honest if he likes her, and not be too passive.
SG: But if I ask permission, is it still struggle fucking?
MZ: Well, yes, I think so. I guess it’s in the role playing sort of realm. I’m not really sure. I don't think I’ve ever done that so I can’t really comment on it.
SG: Obviously I’m having a little fun with it.
MZ: I know.
SG: Do you know what Adam’s inspiration for struggle fucking was?
MZ: You know, I totally did blow his cover on that and that’s my bad that I totally said that [in another interview.] For this interview I’ll keep the secret but if you want to cross reference than you’ll easily find it. I’m such a bigmouth, I really have to stop doing that. Also when you reveal your sources, it’s like a magician revealing his secret. It just loses all importance.
SG: When Crazy Eyes is the title of the movie, what did you have to do to embody that with your eyes and face?
MZ: I actually wore contacts in the movie because I happened to wear contacts to the audition. So when I got the job, I was like, “Hey, I wore these at the audition. Should I wear them in the movie?” Adam was like, “Whatever you want to do.” I was like, “I think I want to wear them for the movie because maybe it’ll give me permission to be this much of a disaster and then I won’t feel like myself so that I can have permission to be a little bit crazier.”
SG: Do you have friends like these characters who are a little bit aimless and mope around talking about their relationships?
MZ: Yes. Don’t you? Doesn’t everybody? And don’t we all have moments like this? I think that’s why it’s so relatable. Even if you personally haven’t had a disaster relationship like this and been on the dark side of life, even if you haven’t done that, you know people who have. So absolutely.
SG: What do you say to them to help them through?
MZ: I think the best advice always in relationships or in life is be the change that you want to see, you know the Gandhi quote. I’m really big on that quote and clichés and stuff. The clichés help me through and then sharing them with people. Especially in relationships, if you want your friends to be more loving, it’s a really good idea to be more loving in the relationship. Then you’ll naturally see change happening. So I was giving [a friend] relationship advice and she was like, “Well, I want this and I want that.” I’m like, “Okay, so why don’t you plan a night where you get all dolled up and cook him a meal and do the thing that want to become him and see what happens. If it doesn’t work, get out of the relationship.”
SG: That is fantastic. That Gandhi quote was so helpful to me because once I learned that, I realized I didn’t have to explain every situation I face. I can just be the example I want to be and put that out there.
MZ: Yeah, exactly.
SG: Are you still on Californication?
MZ: I’m not on the show anymore, no. I would love to be on the show. It’s doing so well and they promote it so much and I’m sure it would be great for my career to still be on it, but I’m not. I haven’t been on the show for years but people still think that I’m on the show or associate me with it. Even if they’ve seen the seasons of Californication that I’m clearly not on, they always go, “Are you going to be on the next season?” One of the best things that one of the interviewers said to me today was, “Oh, because I saw you in this it inspired me to go and start watching Californication because I like your work in this.” That was the biggest compliment I’ve gotten in a really long time. It made me feel really good about my work.
SG: When your debut scene is the one where you punch David Duchovny, does that make a lasting impression both on fans and people in the industry when you go to castings?
MZ: People just love it. I think most people appreciate the role reversal a little bit. Men have been picking up on women for 1000s of years. To see a woman beating up a man is sort of refreshing for both sexes. Most people are just happy that I punched David Duchovny. A lot of people really do believe that I actually punched him. Fans go, “Did you really punch him?” And I go, “No. If you look on the credits, it says David Duchovny – Executive Producer. You don’t punch your boss. It just doesn’t happen.” I’m proud of that moment even though it was the first nudity that I ever did and afterwards I was like, “Did I make the right decision? Now I have to live with guys coming up to me at bars and staring right at my boobs.” Now I’ve just sort of assumed that everyone’s already seen me naked so it just doesn’t mean anything anymore.
SG: Did it have that effect when you were out in public meeting guys?
MZ: Yeah, yeah. I did run into some people who were less than kind about what they said about me and felt that they could say whatever they wanted because they had seen me naked or something. So that wasn’t that pleasant but at the same time, so many people appreciated it more that the good outweighed the bad. Yeah, a lot of people come up to me and ask for me to punch them or whatever. I have a good sense of humor about it.
SG: Has that passed by now?
MZ: It still happens actually. It still happens. It’s shockingly bizarre but a lot more women come up to me than men who’ve seen it and one girl was like, “Because of you, I punched my boyfriend in the face” while they were having sex. I’ve just relaxed and I own it now.
SG: Did you know how manipulative and aggressive that character would become when you first did the pilot?
MZ: No, I had no idea. Of course not. It was sort of difficult for me to play also because I’m not like that personally so it was hard for me to justify those things. Reading the script each week was like a new surprise of how bitchy she would be and I was just sort of shocked about it. I had help. My sister helped me understand the characters on an equal level. That helped tremendously because at the time I was thinking I’m not pulling it off and they’re going to fire me off the show because I didn’t think I was doing a good job. Now I look back and I was like, “Wow, I didn’t mess it up at all.”
SG: Do you feel closer to Crazy Eyes than to Mia?
MZ: I’ve definitely had moments where I’ve been that vulnerable and angry, but not that it lasted this long. This character is in a downward spiral and hits bottom in the movie. I’ve never really hit bottom like that. I felt closer to this one because I could justify these things more easily based on the relationships of the two characters, how he’s kind of shady and she doesn’t really trust him and she can’t really trust him. These people are a little bit easier to understand whereas on the show the character was just ruining someone’s life.
SG: When you’re playing drunk, is it possible to go too big?
MZ: You just go big and then they’ll tell you to tone it down basically.
SG: Did he?
MZ: Yeah, sometimes he did and sometimes he’d be like, “Okay, you have to be way drunker.” But it was so fun. It’s fun to play drunk and after a while you start to feel drunk. It’s a powerful sense memory thing because we’ve all been drunk before so we know how it is. It’s a very distinct feeling that you can trick your mind into believing that you’re really in that state.
SG: What are you doing next?
MZ: Just auditioning, trying to get the next job.
SG: Is that an easier process now?
MZ: It’s the same. It’s the same until it isn’t, until I don’t have to audition anymore. Hopefully people see this and then I won’t have to audition anymore.

Crazy Eyes is now playing.

Christopher Moore is one of America’s funniest novelists and his new book, “Sacré Bleu,” a novel subtitled “A Comedy d’Art,” makes the case for him also being one of the smartest and most inventive. Arguably his best work, the book is set in the Belle Epoque era and involves the impressionist... more

Christopher Moore is one of America’s funniest novelists and his new book, “Sacré Bleu,” a novel subtitled “A Comedy d’Art,” makes the case for him also being one of the smartest and most inventive. Arguably his best work, the book is set in the Belle Epoque era and involves the impressionist and post-impressionist painters who lived primarily in the Montmartre district of Paris. Starring Henri Toulouse-Lautrec, who is so colorful and entertaining a character that it’s hard to believe that Moore didn’t create him, it’s a strange and fascinating novel that is about, among other things, the color blue.

Moore is fascinated by what made the impressionists so radical that they created unconventional work and lived in unconventional ways. If this novel is less laugh out loud than some of his previous books, it’s because Moore is trying for a different tone. While there are plenty of hilarious moments – try looking at a Renoir after reading this without cracking a smile – the book details the murder of Vincent Van Gogh and how his friends try to discover what really happened. Along the way you’ll learn the best way to test a baguette, how color is made, and learn a lot about art (although admittedly, some of what we learn is fictional). Moore is currently on book tour and we spoke to him about his just-released novel.


ALEX DUEBEN: I feel I should ask at the outset, have any art historians been harmed in the making of this novel?

CHRISTOPHER MOORE: Not yet, but there may be a few cardiac incidents once the book is out. I took some liberties.

AD: You mentioned at the end of the book that you set out to write a novel about the color blue. Why blue? And why not, say, vermilion?

CM: To be honest, I just don't remember. It just came to me, like, out of the–well, you know.

AD: This feels in some ways like a book that could have taken longer to research than to actually write. How much research was involved and how long did it take to craft this book?

CM: From the time I started working on it to the time I delivered it was four years. I was still doing research as I was writing it, but the actually writing time was about 18 months.

AD: I am forced to admit that I have never given thought to how to create color and after reading how they did in your book, I'm a little amazed that anyone went through such trouble.

CM: When you consider that humans have been harvesting color and using it to make art for nearly 100,000 years, it's not surprising that we moderns would take it for granted. The Australian aborigines, which, in spots, retained a stone-age culture well into the last century, actually have “sacred” color mines where their ochers are dug, and the colors were traded between bands all over the Australian continent, since you could only use a certain color for a certain type of painting. Color and religion are tied. Color is part of creation. I think color is so ingrained as part of human culture that now we don't think of it as having a source, any more than we associate the food we eat or the clothes we wear with the plants and animals from which they come.

AD: You spoke a little about the impressionists in the end but I was wondering if you could just talk briefly about what you love about them and find so fascinating about their work.

CM: I think I was first drawn to the Impressionists work as a respite from modern life, which is somewhat ironic, I suppose, since one of their goals was to portray modern life as they saw it. When I was on book tour I would go to museums to get out of the pace and patter of self-promotion, have an experience that wasn't about me or my books at all, and looking at Impressionists' paintings gave me that break. Later, when I learned about their lives, and about what they were trying to do as artists, and how unconventional it was at the time, I gained a whole new level of respect for them, as people as well as painters. They all had the ability to work within the conventions of art at the time and make a living, but they did something that broke with convention, in a counter-survival way. Creative courage is impressive, and inspiring.

AD: Who was Henri Toulouse-Lautrec and what made him the perfect character for a Christopher Moore novel? Was he really that colorful in real life?

CM: Toulouse-Lautrec was the Count de Toulouse-Lautrec Monfa, he was royalty, and was heir to a substantial fortune -- he didn't have to make art to survive. He was injured as a child in a riding accident, and his legs never healed properly, and he also had a genetic bone disorder (probably because his parents were first cousins) that cause him to be very short of stature. He discovered, early on, that he was very good at drawing, and as his athletic activities were limited by his disability, he got a lot of practice. When he came of age, he went off to Paris to learn to paint, and attended drawing classes with Vincent Van Gogh, Emile Bernard, and other budding artists of the day. In addition to being an extraordinary painter and printmaker, he was a bon vivant, a notorious drunk, who lived much of his life in brothels and cabarets, and recorded life there in his drawings and paintings. It's the combination of his being an artist and a bit of a madman that made him the perfect character for one of my books. Since I decided to open the book with the murder of Vincent Van Gogh, having a diminutive detective who was his friend, try to solve the murder, was irresistible.

AD: How important was it to spend time in Paris researching the novel?

CM: I don't think I could have written the book if I hadn't spent time in Paris. Much of Paris as it stands today, was built in the 1850s, so it hasn't really changed that much, so being there gave dimension to the scenes, plus, there are huge collections of the art that I was writing about, and living around where it was painting, gave me a perspective I wouldn't have had otherwise. 

AD: What is the challenge of writing a historical novel that's set in the more recent past, as opposed to Fool or Lamb?

CM: Mainly there was just more to work with -- almost too much. In the case of Lamb, for instance, they didn't even know where Jesus was for 30 years of his life, and Fool was constructed around Shakespeare's King Lear, which had so many anachronisms in the original play, that I had to make up a mythical time in which to set it–in other words, I was able to work with huge holes in history. With the Impressionists, they more or less knew what each of them had for breakfast every day of his life, plus, each was more or less recording moments of his or her life on canvas. It was a huge body of knowledge, and the challenge was how to pare it down and tell a story with a pace that would satisfy a modern reader. 

AD: Why did you want to include so many paintings throughout the book?

CM: I didn't want to assume that my reader had seen the art I was talking about. I have only seen a lot of it in the last few years, and yet so much of the story depends on understanding what the art looks like. I thought it would give readers who might have come to my work through the vampire books or the Pine Cove books a door into this new world I was writing about. 

AD: Do you fear that Renoir will be best known by his new catch phrase: I like big butts?

CM: I can only hope. I just couldn't resist writing a scene where he says that. In his biography he more or less says that a lot, I just sort of used a phrase we've heard before. Sometimes you just have to swing at a comedy slow-pitch, like when Manet sees Whistler at an art exhibition and the first thing he asks is, “How's your mother?”

AD: Is hitting someone upside the head in fact the best way to test whether the baguette has been properly made?

CM: I have no idea, I just thought that would be funny. Parisian society seems to sort of revolve around the baguette, even today, and I thought it would be funny if every morning you saw bakers smacking their kids in the head with a loaf to test the crust. 

AD: Is there a chance we might someday see a pseudo-sequel featuring Toulouse-Lautrec and the Art Nouveau movement?

CM: I don't know. I really like the art from that period, but it's not nearly as rich or influential as the Impressionists. It was really more decorative and design, like Art Deco, than revolutionary, like, for instance, Cubism or Surrealism. I love the period and the characters of the time, but if I were to revisit Paris, I think I'd have to tell the story around something a little more universal–maybe just use Belle Epoch Paris as the setting. Everyone was there, just everyone, so there's a wealth of historical material to launch from.

by Lee Camp (video) As you'll see in this video, Negin Farsad and I sauntered into the NYC headquarters of JP Morgan Chase and delivered a petition signed by 30,000 people requesting that CEO Jamie Dimon resign from the NY Fed. (Apparently Negin and I are unconcerned with the type of watch lists... more

by Lee Camp



As you'll see in this video, Negin Farsad and I sauntered into the NYC headquarters of JP Morgan Chase and delivered a petition signed by 30,000 people requesting that CEO Jamie Dimon resign from the NY Fed. (Apparently Negin and I are unconcerned with the type of watch lists we will now be placed on.) But what you WON'T see in the video is one special moment that ended up on the cutting room floor. We explained to the head of security that his boss, Jamie Dimon, is guilty of sitting on the board that regulates his OWN BANK! The security man then said, "Oh, it's kind of like Pete Rose." I then reminded the man that Rose's name was rightfully dragged through the mud for betting on his own baseball team, and he was permanently banned from baseball. Basically Jamie Dimon's own head of security called his boss a criminal. It was a touching moment. I personally think it should be added to the end of The Night Before Christmas...Now, enjoy the video.




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by Nicole Powers A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups. (image) (image) [Above: The many shades of Tore] This week Tore tells us why there's never a dull moment in SG's colorful Hair Stuff group. Members: 2,105 / Comments: 27,415 WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: I love Hair Stuff... more

by Nicole Powers

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.



[Above: The many shades of Tore]

This week Tore tells us why there's never a dull moment in SG's colorful Hair Stuff group.

Members: 2,105 / Comments: 27,415

WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: I love Hair Stuff for multiple reasons. I learn something new every time I go in. The group is filled with people who love doing hair or just love the aesthetic. I started DIY dying my hair when I was about 12. The first color I ever dyed it was blue. My skills and love for doing hair have grown tremendously along the years. It's even led to me getting my cosmetology license. In the group I hear reviews of different products. I read about tips and tricks I wouldn't of thought of. I always love seeing what everyone does to their hair. We have some awesome talented individuals in group.



DISCUSSION TIP: Don't be afraid to ask questions. We have people of all levels in the group. Some have never done anything more than a ponytail. We also have professionals in the group who are always willing to give opinions and help as best they can. Our fearless leader, Vivid, is also extremely helpful and way rad.



MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: Our most popular thread is probably our thread about Coloring and Bleaching. It's an informational thread so it's stickied at the top. It's for anyone with questions really. I try to help out in there when I can. Color can be tricky. If you don't understand the theory behind it you can end up with a mess. 



BEST RANDOM QUOTE: "I get to join the pink club now!" - We have a 27 page thread dedicated to pink hair here.

WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: Everyone who is interested in hair/cosmetology is welcome to join. We're a public group. 



***
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I should admit this right off the bat: I’m not a huge fan of Travis Barker’s music. The only work of his I’ve really gravitated to is The Transplants; I'm still spinning that disc ever since I interviewed Skinhead Rob nearly a year and a half ago. But Barker’s new band +44 is good and a lot of... more

I should admit this right off the bat: I’m not a huge fan of Travis Barker’s music. The only work of his I’ve really gravitated to is The Transplants; I'm still spinning that disc ever since I interviewed Skinhead Rob nearly a year and a half ago. But Barker’s new band +44 is good and a lot of fun. He’s teamed up with another former member of Blink-182, Mark Hoppus, as well as former Transplants touring guitarist Craig Fairbaugh and the lead guitarist of The Nervous Return, Shane Gallagher. I had a very open and honest conversation with Barker about the new band and his trials and travails with the paparazzi and various famous blondes.

Check out the official website for +44

Daniel Robert Epstein: How long have you and Mark wanted to do this?

Travis Barker: It actually wasn’t that we were seeking out to do it. After Blink broke up, we decided we wanted to keep playing music and we just started writing and writing and writing until we had this big collection of songs. Craig [Fairbaugh] was in The Transplants so I got him. Shane [Gallagher] was in this band called The Nervous Return that I had grown up with. We just started playing music together. We wrote a record and it’s coming out in a couple of weeks and we’re going on tour.

DRE: Was there an overall concept behind it?

TB: It was just Mark and I continuing where we left off in a sense.

DRE: Is it impossible to avoid comparisons to Blink-182’s music just because two members of the band are in +44?

TB: We’ll probably never escape that, but it’s not even something that I disown. I loved being in that band. It’s probably natural if 2/3 of that band is in +44 for there to be some similarities like Mark’s voice or something like that.

DRE: What does +44 mean?

TB: It means absolutely nothing. It was just a number that I really liked, like how Blink meant nothing. It was just Blink. It’s for anyone else to interpret. You can’t hear the band name and say “That’s like a death metal band or that’s a rock band.” We decide what it means.

DRE: +44 is a little poppier than I thought it was going to be, was that something you guys were looking to do?

TB: Thank you. No one’s ever said that. Since I’ve started doing press on this record, everyone always says “It’s dark.”

DRE: It’s darker than Blink-182, but it’s still poppy.

TB: Yeah. Totally. You wouldn’t expect anything aggressive or sickening because Mark Hoppus isn’t going to sing like that. That’s not what this band was meant for. We’re never going to get too ill or anything.

DRE: Is it much different doing something like this as opposed to The Transplants?

TB: Oh yeah but it’s supposed to be. If everything was the same, it would suck.

DRE: Is it a different mindset?

TB: No but everything is different. In The Transplants, we’re talking about people getting killed. There are people getting robbed. There are a million things happening in The Transplants. +44 is more like real life situations that we experienced or that we went through. All these songs mean something, but it means something in a different way. For The Transplants, Rob is really doing all that stuff that he’s talking about, just like Mark’s singing about what’s he has experienced.

DRE: I was told you’re recording today, what are you working on?

TB: I’m actually producing Skinhead Rob for his hip-hop record called Warfare. I’m just doing all the production on it. I’m also working with this other artist named Eddie RapLife who’s a rapper and a skateboarder from Rhode Island.

DRE: When is Skinhead Rob’s hip-hop album coming out?

TB: Probably next year on [Cypress Hill member] Mugg’s record label.

DRE: How do you like producing?

TB: It’s amazing. It’s different. Producing in the rock world and producing in the hip-hop world is different. I’m a drummer so at the end of the day, that’s what I do. I play beats and I make beats and I’m moved by beats. It made sense.

DRE: Do you rap at all?

TB: No, I don’t rap. I play the drums.

DRE: I know. You just never know who’s a rapper nowadays.

TB: I think we all know who should and shouldn’t be a rapper nowadays.

DRE: What’s the writing process in +44?

TB: Mark can come to the studio with a whole song tracked with guitars, drums and everything. I come sometimes with ten different beats and I’d leave on tour with The Transplants and Mark would just write to those songs. In the beginning, I played a lot of keyboards. I did a lot of like chord progressions and stuff. Mark was programming drums. We were playing instruments that we hadn’t played before so it’s really wide open. I think that’s the only way to really get people’s ideas out and really collaborate.

DRE: How’s it going since you have to drum with one arm?

TB: It’s amazing. I’m not going to say I like or I enjoy it but I’m used to being dealt with fucked up situations and overcoming them. I guess that’s part of why I continue living and have a smile on my face because I like getting past shit like this.

DRE: Does your drumming sound a lot different?

TB: No. The only thing that I can’t do is like a 32nd note. But I’m compensating by playing another part instead. I basically taught everything that my right hand did to my left hand. Then I taught everything that my left hand was doing to my left foot. I put a pedal down there and it triggers the sound of a snare drum. So every time I push the pedal down, you’ll hear the sound of a snare drum. That’s my left hand now.

DRE: I know the way you broke your arm is a little bit different than the average way someone breaks their arm. How is that going?

TB: I went and saw a nutritionist recently and I’m in the best condition I could be health-wise. I have eight percent body fat. He said there’s nothing wrong with me. It’s actually turning into more of a bone issue like brittle bones, maybe something on the lines of osteoporosis. I have tests and stuff next week.

DRE: Oh damn. Are you nervous?

TB: Yeah. But I’m ready to fight it and move on. I don’t want to dwell on it. If that is what I have, I know that I just have to kick it in the butt and take care of it.

DRE: Are you going to be touring all over the world with +44?

TB: Well, I’m doing five weeks because I have to come back and get MRIs and x-rays. Then we’re coming back for a couple weeks just so I can get my tests done and then do some Christmas shows.

DRE: I know it’s going to be difficult to sell as many albums as Blink-182 did, but is that very important to you?

TB: I think you have to earn it just like anything else. I’d feel like I was getting over on everyone if people just bought our records because we were in Blink. I want to earn everyone’s respect and I want people to actually really love the band and that’s why the band has to stand for something. It has to make great music and we have to be good to our fans. If we sold a million records, cool. But when Blink first started we weren’t expecting to be the biggest band in the world. You just let it be a symptom of making good music and touring.

DRE: As a music fan yourself, when you were younger there must have been bands you just hated because teenage girls liked them or they were “too” popular. There are a lot of people who don’t like you just for those reasons. What’s your opinion of that?

TB: I think that was Blink’s heyday. But that’s not the only kind of music I play now and that’s not the only type of music video I’m in now. I design shoes. I design clothes. That’s one-dimensional. Yeah, in 2003 or whatever when it was crazy and All The Small Things was out, of course you’re going to have people that go “I don’t like Blink anymore. I don’t like them because they’re all over the radio. I don’t like them because girls like them.” But you’re just jealous. Get over it. Man up. If you don’t like the song we made, write a better song.

DRE: Did you hear about what Tom DeLonge said at a concert?

TB: No.

DRE: I’ll quote it to you “I do not want to be in a bullshit pop band with some bullshit pop songs while you drive your fucking bullshit car and sing along to it like you’re some 14 year old girl.” Is that a slam on the music you guys made?

TB: Yeah. It sounds like he’s trying to disown himself from who he was in Blink or something. That’s his personal issue. I would stand up for it in a minute. Was I a trashman? Yeah. Was I in the Aquabats? Yeah. Did we look like Devo? Absolutely. Did I play in Vandals tours? Yes. I played drums for The Vandals. Yeah, I ran naked in a Blink video. I don’t disown any of it. Man, those are some of the greatest times of my life because I was playing music. I think maybe he’s jaded or something or maybe he doesn’t know who he is or maybe he doesn’t like who he is.

DRE: Why did Blink-182 break up?

TB: We were playing a benefit concert and Tom, Mark and myself had different views on the next six months of our band. Like whether or not we were going to make a record, how we were going to make it and then Tom didn’t show up to the tsunami benefit. He had his manager call an hour before. So he left a bunch of people who paid to help the tsunami victims hanging and he didn’t even call. It was just like, “Whoa, man. There’s a way of doing things and that wasn’t the right way.” That’s all it is. I don’t hate, dude. I don’t wish him any bad. I just go, “Man. Sucks that you handled yourself like a little girl when it came to saying you don’t want to play music no more.’”

DRE: Years in the future or probably even sooner, someone’s going to try and get you guys back together. Any interest?

TB: I never say never. I don’t think things went down well but I don’t hate and I don’t hold grudges. I’m down for whatever. I would never do a reunion with any of the bands I’ve been in unless everyone was like brothers again. You hear these stories how bands are on stage getting paid ridiculous amounts of money and they hate each other. I won’t even entertain something like that. I’d rather be poor.

DRE: All the reality show couples’ marriages are breaking up. Does doing a show like that put extra pressure on a marriage?

TB: Oh absolutely. I think people start behaving differently and whatever else and then when the cameras are gone and your husband doesn’t want to do the show no more, you’re looking for this extra attention or something. There are a lot of crazy things that can happen as a symptom of doing a reality show if you’re not staying grounded during the whole time.

DRE: Do you feel like you and Shanna weren’t grounded during the reality show?

TB: Yeah, but at the end of the day, Shanna’s awesome. I love her. But she’s an actress.

DRE: They’re crazy.

TB: That too at times, but they don’t even feel themselves turning it on or turning it off. Me, I don’t have shit to hide from anyone. I think within the last couple years everything that I am has been exposed or whatever. I’m comfortable with it because that’s who I am, but other people have smoke and mirrors in this big front. That only lasts so long.

DRE: Do you feel like you guys would still be together if you hadn’t done the show?

TB: No, not necessarily. I think you can fall madly in love with someone and move really quickly like we did. We fell in love. We had children. But I never had the conversation with her like “Hey. How do you plan on changing after we have children? Do you plan on reevaluating some of the things you do now or maybe the amount of days you work a year? Now that we have children, are we going to step up our roles and stuff?” I should’ve had that conversation and I didn’t. So I’m partly guilty for that or whatever, but at the end of the day, I just have a different way of raising children and a different way of prioritizing things in my life. My children come first and then my work and then everything else. With Shanna it was that Shanna comes first, then her work, then the children fall way down the line. That’s not something that I can wake up to and live around. I’m madly in love with her, but you can’t compromise something like that. Family and little humans are way more important.

DRE: When I told a friend that I was talking to you, he sent me this flyer for some divorce party Shanna is throwing.

TB: Yeah. What do you do? She’s having a party because she’s getting divorced. It’s crazy. It’s classy. That’s all I can say. Classy. I’ll be real honest with you. I’ll be real bold and blunt. I think it would be okay and it would be acceptable if she wasn’t a mother of three. But as you are a mother of three, your children are old enough that their friends are going to be talking about you having a party because you’re getting divorced. You know what I mean? That’s kind of ill.

DRE: Since you are someone who’s very much in the public eye, will you not go do certain things because you don’t want it to be in the tabloids?

TB: Nah. I live my life, man. There’s only certain things they’ll want to cover. They want to cover you making out with someone right when you get divorced or whatever. But I haven’t changed anything I do. I haven’t compromised a bit because I think if I do, then I’m going to turn into some weirdo and I’ll stop being me. Half of the things they’re not even interested in. They’re only interested in something they can flip and turn around and use to their advantage.

DRE: What happened with Paris Hilton?

TB: I’ll be absolutely honest. So you’re asking me if I made out with her at a club? Yes. I made out with her at a club. I’m sure you’ve gone to a bar and just been crazy or wild and having fun that night and you just shamelessly kiss somebody. But she happens to be photographed by a million people when things like that happen. So it was weird for me.

DRE: Do you know exactly why Shanna attacked her?

TB: About a couple months ago it had been shared with me that Paris and Oscar [De La Hoya] had an issue a long time ago and I told Shanna, “Man. That sucks. I don’t know why you still get down with Paris or why you even talk to her.” Then she had told me the story right afterwards and just bashed Paris real ugly, saying awful things about her. I was like, “It’s crazy that you even can look at her in the face and be cool to her then.” Shanna was like, “Aww. Well I can just use her for networking and for press.” Then after this all went down, I had been separated for like three weeks and I was in Vegas for the grand opening of one of my buddy’s restaurants and we had a Famous Stars and Straps party that same night. We went out afterwards and Paris Hilton comes up to me and says hi to me and she’s super friendly. I’m sitting there going, “Gosh. Shanna told me she’s so hard to talk to and that she’s a cunt. She’s this and that.” I was like, “Paris is actually super nice.” So we ended up being friends and we ended up kissing in public.

DRE: Are you interested in a free SuicideGirls membership?

TB: Absolutely. I just want all the SuicideGirls to come to all of the shows that we play whether it’s The Transplants or [DJ] AM and I or anything. They are always welcome to have free passes to just hang out, listen to music and enjoy themselves.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck

(image) by Ryker Suicide (image) Ingredients – Makes 2 Latkes: 1 Russet potato, skinned and shredded 1 egg 1/4 cup sweet or yellow onion, diced 1/3 cup of flour Smoked salmon Red Onion, diced (for garnish) Tomato, seeded and diced (for garnish) Sriracha Lime Sauce (recipe follows) Capers (for garnish)... more

by Ryker Suicide

Ingredients – Makes 2 Latkes:

• 1 Russet potato, skinned and shredded


• 1 egg


• 1/4 cup sweet or yellow onion, diced


• 1/3 cup of flour


• Smoked salmon


• Red Onion, diced (for garnish)


• Tomato, seeded and diced (for garnish)


• Sriracha Lime Sauce (recipe follows)


• Capers (for garnish)


• Oil for frying

Ingredients – Sriracha Lime Sauce:

• 1/2 cup mayo


• 1/2 cup sour cream


• 1/2 lime, juiced


• Sriracha (to taste, we use about 1/2 cup. This will be on the spicier side)

Directions:


1. Take shredded potatoes and soak in water for approximately 30 minutes to remove starch. While potatoes are soaking, prep your Sriracha Lime sauce.


2. Combine mayo and sour cream, stir until mixed well. Add lime juice and then Sriracha sauce to taste. Wisk until mixed well and refrigerate.


3. After potatoes are cleaned of starch, strain and press to remove as much water as possible. Combine egg, yellow/sweet onion, and potatoes. Add flour and mix well. Form two patties/ latkes.


4. Heat oil to 350 degrees. Place latkes in frying pan and allow to fry on each side for about 3-4 minutes (or until golden brown). Remove and place on plate lined with paper towel/plate (allow a few minutes to cool/absorb excess oil)


5. Top latkes with a layer of Sriracha-Lime sauce. Layer on smoked salmon, tomatoes, red onion, and capers. Drizzle with more Sriracha-Lime sauce.


Eat and enjoy!





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(image) by Callioppe (image) [Callioppe in Sun Drips] The Pax by Ploom is my favorite new way to, “smoke.” It is a loose-leaf vaporizer that is small enough to fit in your pocket. Powered by an internal lithium ion battery the device is butane free and holds an impressively long charge. I would guess... more

by Callioppe


[Callioppe in Sun Drips]

The Pax by Ploom is my favorite new way to, “smoke.” It is a loose-leaf vaporizer that is small enough to fit in your pocket. Powered by an internal lithium ion battery the device is butane free and holds an impressively long charge. I would guess you could get about 8 – 10 smoke sessions per hour long charging. The vaporizer heats up really fast, it was ready for use in about 30 seconds. The Pax has three adjustable heat settings and at the highest setting the device delivers the most full-bodied vapor hits I have ever gotten from a portable Vaporizer.

The Pax is also completely silent and virtually odorless which makes using it outside a movie theater or in a park fell pretty safe. Another really stand out feature of the Pax is it’s long, shallow herb chamber which makes the device very easy to fill and clean out between sessions.

I have smoked out of a couple different vaporizers in the past and have always felt a bit disappointed. Some of the things I enjoy the most about smoking are the texture of a joint in on my fingertips, the feel of it on my lips, and most importantly the way my lungs fill up with rich velvety smoke that escapes from my nostrils and mouth.

Before the Pax I had tried vaporizers with awkward hoses, noisy dispositions and cumbersome bags, all for tiny puffs of vapor that left me feeling frustrated, disenchanted and no where near high. Of all of the vaporizers I have tried the Pax delivers the fullest, richest, most smoke like hits of vapor. The Pax is simple to use, clean and charge. Modern, discrete, and beautiful with its cigar like shape and amazing build quality the device has the simplicity, fit and finish of an Apple product.

The bottom line is this is the best portable vaporizer I’ve ever used, and probably stands up against the very best non portable models as well. If you are considering a vaporizer, this is the one we at SG recommend you buy.

For more information visit: ploom.com/pax

Patton Oswalt braved a very rough cell phone connection to give a phone interview for his latest film. He stuck to funny one liners to keep it safe when the questions were breaking up, so it was kind of a free 10 minute standup set from a major comedian. Even his polite refusal of a Suicide Girls membership... more

Patton Oswalt braved a very rough cell phone connection to give a phone interview for his latest film. He stuck to funny one liners to keep it safe when the questions were breaking up, so it was kind of a free 10 minute standup set from a major comedian. Even his polite refusal of a Suicide Girls membership was funny.

There’s only one scene with Patton Oswalt in the new movie Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. He plays Roache, a neighbor Dodge (Steve Carell) runs into at an end of the world party. Since an approaching asteroid gives earth only three weeks before destruction, people are living up their last days.

Roache explains to Dodge how he’s been using the end of the world to get laid. It turns out 8s and 10s lower their standards when they don’t have any time to wait for someone better. Oswalt gives a funny monologue in a memorable scene from the movie, and he gave us some time in support of the film.

Suicide Girls: This interview is for Suicide Girls.
Patton Oswalt: Oh cool.
SG: Are you familiar with our work?
PO: I know of the website, yes. I’ve been interviewed a few times in the past.
SG: Can we count you as a member?
PO: You know, I never had a membership there. I think they sent me a free one and I never used the password and then I got a whole new internet thing so I just kind of never was a member.
SG: We’ll have to fix that.
PO: Oh, I’m good, but thank you. That’s very kind. I’m okay.
SG: Whenever I see an end of the world movie, I always think, “Where would I go to find supplies?” Do you think about that?
PO: I mean, in the case of a movie like this where you know the whole world is going to be wiped up, I think it becomes a moot point. I would try to find enough alcohol and DVDs to get me through it.
SG: I think so too! I would collect the entertainment.
PO: Okay, yeah, me too.
SG: Would you go for the full out debauchery like your character does?
PO: Maybe for a few days but I bet the hangover would be too brutal to enjoy it for very long.
SG: Is it kind of amazing that they’re still civil enough to have a party?
PO: It is nice. It speaks well for humanity.
SG: Did you improvise anything in your scene?
PO: A couple lines here and there but the script was pretty great. I didn’t have to add all that much stuff.
SG: As a standup performer, you memorize your whole act, so is it easy to memorize a long monologue for a movie?
PO: Yeah, you always get a couple runs at it so definitely it’s way easier on film where you can do it again and again. Most of my stuff as a standup is more riffing out on stage, so there’s not that much memorization involved.
SG: As a movie fan yourself, what can we do about the texting in theaters?
PO: I have no idea and theaters don’t seem to be that concerned with stopping it. I would do what they do in India which is click devices that block cell phones in most movie theaters. Go ahead and take them out. They don’t work.
SG: Is it frustrating that it seems like people don’t want to watch movies? They’d rather sit there and text.
PO: Apparently. I mean, as much as they don’t care, I care less and less about getting angry at them and just block them out and make it my own experience.
SG: You have such a strong presence on Twitter. Do you ever start a tweet and then think, “No, I’ll save that for my act?”
PO: No, because my Twitter feed is more self contained one liners and that’s not what I do as a comedian.
SG: As a comic book fan, what are your thoughts and expectations for the Amazing Spider-Man reboot coming out this month?
PO: I can’t say. I can’t get a grip on this one from the trailers. I’m going to have to wait to see it. I just don’t know. I won’t know ‘til I see it. I just learned not to just movies by their trailers anymore.
SG: Where did you fall in the greats organic webshooters versus mechanical webshooters debate?
PO: I never really thought about it either way. Whatever’s going to make the thing work in the movie I guess. I mean, it didn’t bother me in the first movie. It’s all just different versions of storytelling I guess.
SG: Is The Dark Knight Rises a big one on your radar?
PO: Yeah, it looks like it’s going to be great. I’m very excited and I hope it’s great. I loved The Dark Knight so we’ll see what happens.
SG: Do you think there’s still room for Batman after The Avengers?
PO: I think there’s always room for good movies. It doesn’t really matter. As long as you make a good movie, people will go see it.
SG: Were you a fan of The Avengers?
PO: Oh yeah, I thought it was great. I thought it was amazing.
SG: I was pleased you mentioned the great video store Erol’s in a blog post on your site. What are your fond memories of Erol’s Video?
PO: Oh yeah. Not really anything specific. It was just a part of my childhood.
SG: Did you ever imagine when you were growing up that you would one day have a platform for all your ideas and opinions?
PO: No, I don't think any of us did. There was no way to predict the kind of future that we’re living in and there’s no way to predict what’s probably coming down the pipe now. God knows what’s next so we’ll see.
SG: But even that you’d be a performer and say what you want and people would listen?
PO: It’s nice! It was a nice dream and now it’s come true so I can’t complain.
SG: Once you’ve had albums and sold out comedy shows, how does that change your perspective when you know you have a platform?
PO: Well, everything in your life changes your perspective so I can’t really think of it in terms of that. It doesn’t make me doublethink everything that I do. I always try my best to be as true to whatever I feel in the moment. I’m not like oh, now more people listen to me, I’ve got to do this.
SG: When did you realize you had your own unique point of view?
PO: It’s hard to put a finger on that. Again, it’s a thing that just happens. It just happens without you realizing it and then you kind of end up looking at it in the rearview mirror.
SG: How do you stay current?
PO: I’m more like staying true is way more important than staying current.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World is now playing.

by Brad Warner (video) Last week I saw the movie Kumare. It’s a tremendously important film that I really hope gets a lot of notice. But it’s a movie that will be widely misunderstood. Take, for example, the review in the June 29th issue of Entertainment Weekly. They say: Now, I like Entertainment... more

by Brad Warner



Last week I saw the movie Kumare. It’s a tremendously important film that I really hope gets a lot of notice. But it’s a movie that will be widely misunderstood. Take, for example, the review in the June 29th issue of Entertainment Weekly. They say:

Now, I like Entertainment Weekly. I’m even a subscriber. But I’m not at all surprised that they were unable to grasp the point of this movie. As they say, this is a movie about a guy of Indian descent who posed as a guru and filmed it. But what Vikram Gandhi did was not in any way a “mocking scam” nor is this film at all “Borat-esque.” As Borat, Sasha Baron Cohen played his character and the reactions it got for laughs. And while there are plenty of funny moments in Kumare, Vikram is dealing with a much more serious and important subject. But it’s a subject that I doubt the writers at Entertainment Weekly have much close contact with and so perhaps I can forgive them for completely missing the point.

As I’ve often written in this blog and in my books, I am highly uncomfortable in my Buddhist robes. Even though I am entitled to wear the golden colored sash (called an o-kesa) of a so-called “Zen Master,” I rarely take the damned thing out of the box it lives in, in the bottom of my closet. This is because as soon as you put something like that on a certain segment of the people you meet start reacting to you in ways that I find highly bizarre and off-putting.

Uniforms are powerful and significant. This is why the police, our “boys in blue,” dress in special clothes. It’s why the President of the United States always has a red tie. It’s why priests of all religions dress up in funny outfits. People really respond to that stuff.

Vikram had a serious interest in why certain well-heeled middle-class Americans are so easily drawn to pretty much anyone with a funny accent who puts on a set of robes. His first idea was to make a documentary film about actual gurus. But what he found disgusted and deeply disturbed him. He uses a few of the interviews he conducted for this unfinished project in the early part of the movie. And some of them are really chilling.

The one that bugged me most was Bhagavan Das who says, “If I was a twenty year old girl, I would love hanging out with me. What could be more fabulous than having sex with a really spiritual mystical person?” Vkram cuts this together with shots of a slightly spaced out but very attractive young blonde who says of Bhagavan Das, “He’s the new teacher of this age, of this world. He’s someone who has the answer, I believe.” Yep. And the answer is in his pants.

Bhagavan Das, in case you were wondering, is an old teacher of Ram Dass, the guy who wrote Be Here Now, and has been milking his association with Ram Dass for the past forty years (he even titled his own book It’s Here Now (Are You?)). He was a hippie who went to India and became a yogi then made a lot of famous friends including Jimi Hendrix. Which is fine. But I saw him in that video and it’s hard to imagine sex with a dude that hairy would be all that fabulous for a twenty-year old girl.

I don’t want to draw this into yet another of my rants about the matter of spiritual teachers who sleep with their students. I wrote two books that go deeply into that subject. But it’s just one of the things that drove Vkram to undertake the important social experiment he documents in this film.

By putting on some orange robes and imitating his grandmother’s Indian accent and mannerisms, Vkram discovered that there are people out there who are willing to believe just about any damned thing as long as it’s spoken by someone who appears to represent some kind of mystical spiritual tradition from the mysterious East. He has them doing air guitar moves and getting little penises drawn on their foreheads. Not only that, he tells them straight up that the thing he’s drawing on their foreheads is a dick and they still let him do it.

These are not dumb people either. They are intelligent, educated and sincere. Nor does Vkram try to make them look like fools. Over and over again he takes pains to point out that pretty much anyone could potentially fall for this kind of thing if they were seeking “The Answer” outside of themselves.

But as the guru Sri Kumare, Vkram has a message. And his message is that the answer is always within each of us. That we do not need to seek it in someone else. He intends to prove that by first luring his followers in with the scam of the guru Sri Kumare and then revealing to them that he’s really just a guy from New Jersey. I won’t give away the ending. But suffice it to say, it’s pretty intense.

The thing is, though, as Entertainment Weekly failed to understand in spite of saying it in their review, “even a phony wise man can offer real solace.” Sri Kumare, phony as he is, ends up doing his followers some actual good. That’s because Vikram, the man inside the Sri Kumare guise, is at heart a good guy who truly does want to help — even if that wasn’t what he initially set out to do. He’s not trying to scam these people. He’s trying to make a very important point. Sure he’s also trying to get a hit movie out of it. And I really hope his movie is a hit because a lot of people need to see this film.

It’s going to upset a certain segment of the audience who will see themselves in Sri Kumare’s followers and feel that they’re being played for fools. And you know what? It ought to upset them. That is precisely the point. But this is going to make it tough for Vkram to get the film seen by the people who most need to see it. It would be sad if the only people who get into the film are those who see Sri Kumare’s followers as a bunch of idiots and who mistakenly believe they’re above all that.

As for me, who very definitely is one of the people who needed to see this movie, it’s got me thinking again about the whole matter of spiritual uniforms and the role of the teacher in the spiritual quest. It’s true that the answer is within each and every one of us. But it’s also true that most of us need someone else to help us see that. The film Kumare demonstrates this in a very concrete — and highly entertaining — way.

The question it raises for me is this; Does it really even matter if the teacher has any sort of grounding? Can anyone at all put on some robes and, if he or she is at least a decent person, act as a guide for others? Why should I insist that anyone I would pass my lineage on to be extremely balanced before I give them the paperwork that lets them wear one of those silly golden colored sashes? My tentative answer is, on the one hand pretty much anyone who is even just a bit balanced can help others find balance. But such a person could only help their followers to a limited degree.

Also, as Vikram in the guise of the guru Kumare discovered, putting on those robe can make you act differently. When people start to trust in you, as they trusted in the phony Sri Kumare, any decent person will feel the need to try and be worthy of that trust. This may be why Dogen extolled the virtues of wearing the o-kesa, calling it “the great robe of liberation.”

But those robes can also be a dangerous weapon. Putting on the robe may make a decent person inclined to act more decently. But a less decent person can use its mojo to get all kinds of things like money and sex and power. The movie Kumare only hints at the extent to which one can abuse such power. But the real world provides plenty of examples.

Yeah. I’m talking to you, Bhagavan Das.

***

Brad Warner is the author of Sex, Sin and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between as well as Hardcore Zen, Sit Down and Shut Up! and Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate. He maintains a blog about Buddhist stuff that you can click here to see. You can also buy T-shirts and hoodies based on his books, and the new CD by his band Zero Defex now!



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Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: Crazy Wisdom – The Story Of A Drunken Sex Pervert Who Revolutionized Buddhism

by SG's Team Agony feat. Rin Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls. (image) [Rin in Voyeur] Q: I'll just jump right into it. I'm 24 and single, have been my entire life. It’s definitely not by choice, just a long running... more

by SG's Team Agony feat. Rin

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Rin in Voyeur]

Q: I'll just jump right into it. I'm 24 and single, have been my entire life. It’s definitely not by choice, just a long running series of me being an idiot, and saying the wrong thing at the right time.

Given, I am a nerd, always have been and always will be. But unlike the stereotype, I do have social graces. I can get along with pretty much anyone, short of them just generally being an asshole. It’s not the fear of rejection either, I've overcome that a while ago. I just have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I'm too impatient and can be over-bearing at times, which I'm trying to work on. I'm not an ugly guy by any means, I'm fairly average, and have a pretty awesome beard. I guess my question is: How do I garner interest? How do I get a girl to be interested in me?

The overwhelming lack of response most of the time is disheartening (does that even make sense?). I won't whine about the "friend zone" either, because it doesn't really exist; I believe if something's there it could still happen, it’s just another meek, nerd stereotype that doesn't lend itself to me. What do I do, hell, where should I even be looking? I appreciate any advice you can give me.

A: It sounds like you're doing okay in some aspects of dating –– you're not afraid of rejection, you get along with lots of different types of people, and you've got a beard (extra points!). It also really helps that you're self aware enough to realize some stuff about you that might be a barrier to getting close to the ladies.

Sure, some people like intense dudes, but for many of us it's a huge turnoff, so working really hard on improving your patience and intensity level should really help you connect with the girls you're interested in. Ladies generally like to be pursued, but if you push too hard it's easy for us to get scared off. Take it easy, and trust that your natural charm & good qualities are shining through.

How often do you meet new people? Are you often exposed to new ladies at friends' parties, work, sports clubs or anywhere else? If not, you may want to try internet dating? It's kind of nutty, on one hand, but I've found it an incredible way to meet people and practice my social skills. I've had the best and worst dates because of random dating sites! I definitely recommend this. You may not meet your dream girl, but you will probably have a lot of experiences that help hone your romantic senses. Internet dating is also great because you can find people who you connect with (on paper) and display yourself in a very straightforward way that makes it clear what you're into.

When you're interested in a lady, ask her questions about her likes and life. Don't go on and on about yourself, and remember, coming on hard with too many compliments can seem insincere/strange. Cultivate a wide variety of interests. Not only does that help when you're feeling bummed about not having a ladyfriend (it keeps you busy with things you're really into), but it helps to give you avenues to meet new people. If you're super boring, it's more difficult to attract people to you.

Ask her out on a date, but not something typical like dinner and a movie. Some ideas: visit an aquarium, play bingo, go for a walk/hike somewhere nice, go to a botanical garden, plan a picnic, play darts/pool/bowling/laser tag, go to an old-school arcade, visit a planetarium, go to an author reading or lecture series at a bookstore, library or university, etc.

Hopefully this helps and you soon find yourself having lots of fun dates!

Best wishes on your quest for love.

Rin

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

(image) by A.J. Focht (image) In the hours following the carnage that took place at the Century 16 movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, there was a remarkable flood of moving reactions from across the internet. It’s been more than a week since that awful night, and online communities remain one of the... more

by A.J. Focht



In the hours following the carnage that took place at the Century 16 movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, there was a remarkable flood of moving reactions from across the internet. It’s been more than a week since that awful night, and online communities remain one of the greatest allies for the victims.

Seventy of the innocent movie goers that entered Theater 9 excited to enjoy The Dark Knight Rises, ended the tragic evening either spread out among seven local area hospitals or in the morgue because of wounds inflicted by gunfire. Many of the victims were in serious or critical condition, and a total of twelve didn’t survive that night. Doctors and surgeons scrambled to help all of the victims, but their efforts were hindered by a blood shortage. Websites such as Lets’s Be Friends Again helped promote an emergency call for blood in this time of need.

A well-intentioned, if somewhat misguided, viral post requesting that Christian Bale visit the victims also did the rounds on Facebook. With dozens hospitalized in need of blood, a celebrity appearance was what the city wanted, but not what the city needed. More groups rose up and made efforts online to promote blood donation. Social media kept the blood drives fresh on everyone’s mind as the feeds were filled with images and articles encouraging donations.

It wasn’t just blood the patients in the hospital were in dire need of though. Many of the injured were without health insurance. A local standup comedian, Caleb Medley, was shot in the face that night. His medical bills quickly rose well into six figures; all the while, his wife Katie was in labor with their baby, Hugo. The family doesn’t have insurance and they fear the bills the young couple could be facing will haunt them for the rest of their lives. CalebMedley.com was established to accept donations to help ease the couple’s medical bill burden. With the help of social media, the story was picked up by major news organizations.

Caleb isn’t the only victim accumulating mountains of medical debt. A week after the shootings, twelve people remained in hospital, five in critical condition. Three Colorado hospitals announced they would waive or help with the medical fees the victims accrued. The charities being established for the victims and the hospitals’ support has laid a strong foundation to service this crucial need.

The city also got what it wanted. On his own accord, without contacting his publicist, Christian Bale showed up in Denver to visit the victims. No one would have even known Bale made an appearance if it hadn’t been for people tweeting and posting to Facebook from the hospital. Bale also visited the memorial set up near the theater.

Amazing acts of generosity and kindness have come through the social media networks, but that isn’t to say that everyone is sympathetic and respectful. Amongst all the calls for blood donations and the thousands of well wishes, social media feeds were beset with posts politicizing the issue, most of these honed in on the issue of gun control. Now, I am not saying that this isn’t the time to talk about gun control, but both sides used this disaster as an excuse to further polarize the debate, when in fact an air of pragmatism and compromise is needed if we are to effect lasting change for the better. In the middle of the raging gun control debate, were those who complained that this wasn’t the time to discuss the issue. In reality, this is the perfect time to discuss all issues that tie into this catastrophe, and guns are part of that.

My quick note on guns: While I don’t agree with absolute gun control, I can’t fathom why civilians are allowed to legally purchase military grade weapons, like the assault rifle that was firing at my friends and I. As for those who’ve posted comments along the line of “if only someone else in the theater had been armed,” your logic is flawed and misinformed. The coward in question opened fire on a crowd of unsuspecting moviegoers in a dark and confined space, dressed in full combat armor, neck and head covering included. More people firing guns would have only added to the confusion and senseless violence.

My final message to everyone on the internet is to just do the best you can with the resources available to you. This event has proven the power of social media networking. This is a power that each of us exercise every day. Whenever you ‘like’ or repost an article for your friends to see, that message gets passed a little further and becomes a bit louder. All I ask is that you start watching what messages you pass. As I asked of the media in my first post, please stop posting or reposting pictures of the shooter, or articles specifically about him. Stop giving him the attention and infamy he craves, and stop helping to write his name into the history books.

My personal challenge to everyone using social media: Convince Steam and the creators of the Batman Arkham series to put all affiliated games on sale for one day with proceeds going to the Aurora Victim Relief Fund.



Related Posts:
Back Row Perspective Part 2: An Aurora Theater Survivor’s Message To The Politicians
Back Row Perspective Part 1: An Aurora Theater Survivor’s Message To The Media

***
A.J. Focht is a student, writer, and self-identifying geek. He has a BA in English, and is currently pursuing his Master’s degree at the University of Denver. He is a regular contributor to SuicideGirls. His work is also featured in Kush Magazine.

Since the publication of her now classic book “Eros the Bittersweet” a quarter century ago, Anne Carson has become one of the most acclaimed classicists, translators, poets and essayists of her generation. In one of her most acclaimed translations, “If Not, Winter,” Ms. Carson translated and presented... more

Since the publication of her now classic book “Eros the Bittersweet” a quarter century ago, Anne Carson has become one of the most acclaimed classicists, translators, poets and essayists of her generation. In one of her most acclaimed translations, “If Not, Winter,” Ms. Carson translated and presented the complete works of Sappho, including the fragments, revealing what has been lost as well as what was written in a way that is striking, showing Sappho’s genius as a poet but also serving as a reminder of what has been lost to time.

Ms. Carson is also a noted poet and essayist who writes about love and desire, longing and despair, heartbreak, what has been lost and how we fill those voids that have been left in our lives. In “Autobiography of Red,” a novel in verse, she retells the myth of Herakles’ tenth labor where he slays the monster Geryon. In Ms. Carson’s contemporary telling, Herakles steals the boy’s innocence and breaks his heart. In her recent book “Nox,” she tackled a much more personal subject, her relationship with her late brother and his death, composing a hauntingly beautiful book that certainly stands as one of the great books about grief.

Ms. Carson also achieved pop culture notoriety when in the first episode of “The L Word,” a discussion of Carson’s work became an elaborate seduction scene. That a book about love in ancient Greek literature could serve as such a catalyst is odd enough but that Ms. Carson could be mentioned by name makes her the rare writer and public intellectual with a reputation to be so noted. Given all that, it seems in poor taste to note that the characters in “The L Word” largely misunderstood the book.

Her most recent book is “Antigonick.” A translation of the classic play by Sophokles, the book, published by New Directions, is one of the best designed books of the year and a unique reading experience. Ms. Carson hand-lettered the text of the play, which isn’t presented like most plays but incorporated within pages of artwork. Like her previous book, “Nox,” “Antigonick” is a unique book and a reading experience that can’t be replicated electronically. Ms. Carson was kind enough to agree to speak with us about the book and her work and we exchanged a series of emails in which she demonstrated that her passion for an interest in literature and Greek has not dimmed, but that she is uninterested in discussing personal topics. Despite her lack of interest, she did answer the questions. As she said in response to a different question, “Canadians are dutiful.”



ALEX DUEBEN: In recent years you’ve been translating a lot of dramatic work, first the Euripides plays for the NYRB imprint, The Oresteia, and now Antigonick. Why have you been drawn to and interested by drama in recent years?

ANNE CARSON: These were all commissions. I have never in fact been much interested in drama but if someone asks me to do something, I generally do it. Canadians are dutiful. 

AD: Where did the idea of translating Sophocles’ Antigone come from and could you talk a little about the decision to not simply translate the play but to rewrite it?

AC: To be honest, I don't see any "rewrite" going on. Everything I've done in the translation is an attempt to convey a move or shock or darkening that happens in the original text. This doesn't always mean reproducing the words and sentences of the original in their same order; but a play is (note etymology of "drama" from Greek DRAN "to do or act") a collection of actions or doings, this is what needs to be rendered from Greek into English. It's true Sophokles doesn't mention Hegel on the first page of Antigone, but he does refer to the long tradition of A's catastrophic family in order to remind his Greek audience of the legend and for us, in 2012, the Antigone legend includes Hegel.

AD: Do you think about how the play could be performed, or at least how the language could be spoken as opposed to read when you translate a play?

AC: Yes, every minute.

AD: Talk a little about Nick. Why do you create this character and how do you feel Nick helps to illuminate the themes and ideas of the play?

AC: 1.  Nick measures things. Most Greek tragedies are about a person who is too big for the space of life allotted to him. Excess leads to catastrophe. The need to avoid excess hums through these plays as a constant anxiety.  

2.  A mute character who moves all the time is a free space of invention for whoever directs/produces the play. It could be funny, it could be lyrical, it could be a whole other dramatization of tensions, depending how you stage it.

AD: How personal a book do you feel Antigonick is?

AC: Not sure what this means. 

AD: Your last book published was Nox, which was about your own personal grief and then you translated Antigonick which is about, among many other things, what remains after the death of someone and what we bring to that experience and our responsibility to the dead. Having said that, I think much of your work deals with this topic: what has been lost, whether through death or heartbreak or loss, how we cope and understand the holes in our lives.

AC: You could say that. I don't think I know why. 

AD: I can’t help but think of Antigonick as a relative in some ways to your last book, Nox, which I loved. And they’re both books created by someone who is a designer. You studied graphic design, is that correct?

AC: No, I know nothing of graphic design. I studied it for half a year once and flunked out. The design of both books is owed to Robert Currie, my friend and collaborator. 

AD: I know that you’re a visual artist. Why didn’t you illustrate the book yourself?

AC: [Robert] Currie and I wanted to give someone else a chance, then we met Bianca Stone and liked her work. 

AD: How did you meet Bianca Stone?

AC: Bianca was a student of Currie's and mine in our workshop – Egocircus – at NYU a few years ago.

AD: Why did you chose to hand letter the book instead of using a font?

AC: For vitality and intimacy and to slow down the reading. Also fun to do. Currie pencilled the text first, I went over it in ink - his part was way harder.

AD: What first drew you to studying the classics?

AC: The incomparable beauty and endlessness of Greek. 

AD: I remember in an interview a few years back after Grief Lessons came out, you mentioned that you didn’t like Euripides, who wrote a play Antigone that’s largely been lost. You know far more about this than I, but having translated Sophokles and Euripides, I’m curious how you thought of them and how they tackled the same tale.

AC: I can't answer this question without doing a lot of research, as I'm not familiar with the ancient resume of the Antigone by Euripides. It is indeed a big topic, the different angles that Sophokles and Euripides take on tragic projects, but in general I would say that Sophokles is deeply interested in language and Euripides is not. For Euripides language is a means to an end, the end being a spectacular speedy plot line and crashing confrontations. As a translator you cannot travel into the language of Euripides, and you can that of Sophokles. In Sophokles every word is a universe.

AD: After translating so much tragedy, have you ever considered translating a comedic work?

AC: I dislike comedy; never get the jokes. True for TV as well as ancient lit.

AD: You once said in an interview, “Homer's a poet. I would say I make things.” Why don’t you think of yourself as a writer? Or has that changed over the years?

AC: Hasn't changed.

AD: What’s on your desk now? What are you working on?

AC: I am translating Euripides’ “Bakkhai” for the Alameida theater in London.

AD: If someone reading this is intrigued to pick up not just your work but something from the classic tradition, is there a book or an author or a translation you would recommend?

AC: All translations by Christopher Logue and Memorial by Alice Oswald.