by Secretary (image) This past Sunday, I woke up in a different London to the one I know and love. On Saturday night, a peaceful protest about the shooting of Mark Duggan in Tottenham had turned into a violent riot. The riots morphed into looting and violence, and it spread like a virus. That Saturday,... more

by Secretary



This past Sunday, I woke up in a different London to the one I know and love. On Saturday night, a peaceful protest about the shooting of Mark Duggan in Tottenham had turned into a violent riot. The riots morphed into looting and violence, and it spread like a virus.

That Saturday, I’d been at two fellow SG member’s apartment in North London. We’d heard of the Tottenham riots, but had assumed it would die down once the police got there. Since we were also in the company of an SG member living in Germany, talk turned to what we loved about London. We talked about how it is truly a diverse city in every sense of the word; about how people from every walk of life live side by side, and about how this makes the city feel so alive.

Earlier in the day, I’d briefly dived through the Brixton Splash, an annual community street festival that’s a celebration of diversity in an area famed for past troubles and tensions. Free food was cooked and handed out, there was rap, reggae and people drinking and dancing in the streets under the blazing sunshine. It was happy and relaxed, and it had ended peacefully at around 7 PM.

As myself and SG member Vermin made our way back from North to South London that Saturday night, we passed again through Brixton. We had no idea that just two hours later a gang of 200 youths would descend on the place, looting businesses and starting huge fires as they rampaged down the high street

We awoke on Sunday morning to find shops had been broken into. The police had cordoned the affected area off, tube stations were closed, busses were diverted, and the air was thick with a shared sense of unease. Shops closed early and people hurried home in the daylight. Rumors started to spread, of looting and riots planned in other areas.

Nobody was quite prepared for just how out of hand it became.

Friends in Streatham couldn’t sleep that night for the sound of sirens.

Friends in Peckham listened as a mob descended upon the shop and petrol station at the end of their road, as fires blazed one street over.

Friends in Croydon weathered some of the most terrifying violence of all, seeing people in masks pulling others out of their cars and robbing people’s homes. Muggings and serious acts of arson meant the London borough was described widely as a 'war zone.'


[Image source: Telegraph.co.uk]

People filled up Twitter with eyewitness reports of horrors in Ealing, Clapham, Hackney, Camden. This map shows the extent of the rioting in London.

Whilst the rolling news channels played the same scenes of devastation on a loop, Facebook, Youtube and Twitter have showed a million small acts of kindness, community and defiance. @riotcleanup has been coordinating volunteers for the clean-up effort all day. Their website has crashed several times over, and so many volunteers turned up in some places that people didn’t know what to do with them. The picture below, taken of the clean-up effort in Clapham, has warmed many a Londoner's heart today.


[The clean-up in Clapham via @Lawcol888 and Mirror.co.uk]

The looters, for the most part, were young. Depressingly young in some cases. They tended to come from the more economically deprived areas of the city, although it would be a mistake to assume that they looted because they were poor. Many of the photos captured showed that those partaking in the lawlessness were wearing expensive branded clothing, and it has been said that much of the organization of the mobs was done via BBM (Blackberry messaging), Blackberries of course being fairly pricey phones. The shops most often targeted were those selling cell phones and sneakers (or mobiles and trainers as we say here in the UK) rather than those from which looters might take electronics, alcohol and cash.

What started as a peaceful protest turned into something else, in part because of a realization that numbers help to make you invisible. People burned and smashed property so that they could feel important and above the law. They took things because they thought they could get away with it. The police were not prepared for things to get so bad so quickly; thanks to BBM the rioters and looters, whilst representing a miniscule minority of Londoners, were able to outsmart the police.

As my good friend and SG member DrewBeckett said ‘These people aren’t Londoners; London wants nothing to do with them. Whilst some copycat violence has erupted in other big UK cities, public anger at those partaking is overwhelming. One Facebook initiative, Operation Cup of Tea, encourages us Brits to do what comes naturally in a crisis – namely to keep calm, stay in, and drink tea.

People are invited to show their opposition to the riots by posting a picture of themselves on Facebook, having a cup of tea. We’re also encouraging SG readers/members to post pictures in the comments section below. To kick things off, here’s some pics of me and my SG mates Mat8drb and LaurenZombie showing support with a mug of the good stuff.


[Above: Secretary, SG Member]


[Above: Mat8drb, SG Member]


[Above: LaurenZombie, SG Member]

Further Reading:
Our SG UK group has threads on The Riots (What’s Really Happening and Why) and on Operation Cup of Tea.

***UPDATE***

Wednesday, Aug 10, 4.47 AM PST - More images just in:


"Last night during the Manchester riots, I could hear a fair few gangs come past my street near to the end of the night...Luckily I was drinking "Twinings - A moment of calm." - Social, SG Member


Oxy, SG Member


CptPyjama, SG Member

***UPDATE***

Wednesday, Aug 10, 1.45 PM PST - Even more images just in:



“I had an extra special peppermint tea bag that I had saved” – Sminks, SG Member


coldandwet, SG Member


Wilona, SG Member


Umeko, SG Member


Sticks, SG Member


Saiylor Suicide


“I got that mug in 1989 with an Easter egg. 
Still going strong and makes the brew better.” – Mark_plus_Beer, SG Member


“My mug is a direct homage to a very London-centric bunch of artists. The Bloomsbury Group, the Omega Workshop...I salute your absolute fucking barminess, and your questionable genius. But most of all, I salute you for having been part of making London the magical city it is. No amount of vandalism can kill that magic.” - DrewBeckett, SG Member

***UPDATE***

Wednesday, Aug 10, 4.06 PM PST - Yet more images just in:


“Drinking Lemsip since I'm ill.” – gtwr, SG Member


“Joining the party late as usual...
Hippified blackcurrant, raspberry and cinnamon works, right?” - Reuben, SG Member


“Yorkshire tea for the win!” - Brompton, SG Member

by Steven-Elliot Altman (SG Member: Steven_Altman) Our new Fiction Friday serialized novel, The Killswitch Review, is a futuristic murder mystery with killer sociopolitical commentary (and some of the best sex scenes we’ve ever read!). Written by bestselling sci-fi author Steven-Elliot Altman (with... more

by Steven-Elliot Altman (SG Member: Steven_Altman)

Our new Fiction Friday serialized novel, The Killswitch Review, is a futuristic murder mystery with killer sociopolitical commentary (and some of the best sex scenes we’ve ever read!). Written by bestselling sci-fi author Steven-Elliot Altman (with Diane DeKelb-Rittenhouse), it offers a terrifying postmodern vision in the tradition of Blade Runner and Brave New World...

By the year 2156, stem cell therapy has triumphed over aging and disease, extending the human lifespan indefinitely. But only for those who have achieved Conscientious Citizen Status. To combat overpopulation, the U.S. has sealed its borders, instituted compulsory contraception and a strict one child per couple policy for those who are permitted to breed, and made technology-assisted suicide readily available. But in a world where the old can remain vital forever, America’s youth have little hope of prosperity.

Jason Haggerty is an investigator for Black Buttons Inc, the government agency responsible for dispensing personal handheld Kevorkian devices, which afford the only legal form of suicide. An armed “Killswitch” monitors and records a citizen’s final moments — up to the point where they press a button and peacefully die. Post-press review agents — “button collectors” — are dispatched to review and judge these final recordings to rule out foul play.

When three teens stage an illegal public suicide, Haggerty suspects their deaths may have been murders. Now his race is on to uncover proof and prevent a nationwide epidemic of copycat suicides. Trouble is, for the first time in history, an entire generation might just decide they’re better off dead.



[PROLOGUE]

In the year 2156, stem cell therapy has triumphed over all forms of disease, extending the human lifespan indefinitely. Americans who have been granted Conscientious Citizen status now live healthy, youthful lives well beyond the century mark.

To combat overpopulation and depletion of resources, America has sealed her borders and instituted strict measures of birth and death control. Families are now restricted to one child per couple, and the leading cause of death in the U.S. has become technology-assisted suicide.

BLACK BUTTONS, INC. is the government authority responsible for dispensing Kevorkian units — handheld devices which afford the only legal form of suicide.

An armed “Killswitch” monitors and records a citizen’s final moments — up to the point where they press a button and peacefully die.

Post-press review agents — “button collectors” — are dispatched to review and judge these final recordings to rule out foul play.

[THE KILLSWITCH REVIEW – CHAPTER ONE]
[BLACK BUTTONS, INC. ]

Haggerty had his finger on the button. The black onyx set in the gunmetal casing felt cool beneath his touch. There were millions of registered buttons just like it, hundreds of millions, in fact. No one knew that better than he did, but this one was his, tailor-made. His name glowed across its base: JASON P. HAGGERTY.

He looked around the living room of his spacious compartment, remembering the pride and excitement with which he had made every acquisition it held. His plasma dome viewscreen cost more than most people made in a decade. The glass-topped bar was stocked with premium liquors, not cheap bar brands. A replitext that could become any book he’d ever read or ever wanted to read rested on an elegant simumarble pedestal. Those were just the most obvious of the niceties of life he had been afforded. He called the outer wall into full transparency mode. It cleared instantly, revealing the cityscape outside: close-packed stalk-like buildings stretching to the blazing blue sky dappled with wisps of clouds above distant snow-capped mountains. That view had been the main reason he chose to live here. All these luxuries, so casually on display, never failed to impress the few friends he kept or the even fewer women he’d brought here since Lorraine had left him. The pain that came with his job had once seemed a small price to pay for such wealth. No longer. The compartment and everything it held was too big, too luxurious. Too empty.

All week long he’d contemplated the act. He planned on pressing around midnight. There was a certain poetry to a midnight press on a Saturday night, a certain feeling of closure, pressing as the week ended, before a new one could start. He’d always been a man who saw things through to the end, no matter how difficult the task. He’d worked to be a true Conscientious Citizen, someone who made a positive contribution to society, who unfailingly honored his commitments, who promptly and thoroughly discharged his obligations, and who brought all his skill and ability to his chosen profession. If he were still that man, he’d be getting into his uniform and preparing for his final shift, making sure that when he pressed, he left no loose ends for someone else to clean up. Instead, his finger was on the button, fifteen hours early.

It would take so little, just a light push, to gain release. Why wait? It was unlikely anything earth-shattering would require his presence at work today. Black Buttons, Inc. could manage without him. Haggerty could barely recall the last time a Kevorkian unit had been tampered with, or a press coerced. These days there were no surprises in the reviews he conducted, rendering them largely a formality. Let his successor deal with the unclosed files in his office. No fortunes would be reversed, no futures altered. The outcome of no case would be affected by his passing.

Nor would any thing outside of work. Or anyone. He had no family left, and most of his friends had drifted away long ago. Only two remained who might regret his passing. Doug, the company doctor, who’d likely be pissed as hell, and Elsa, Haggerty’s personal assistant. He didn’t know how she would react. He wasn’t sure she was capable of comprehending the depth of the loss he’d suffered, or to feel loss herself. Any regrets she had would likely center around not having noticed what he was about to do and not acting to stop him. But Elsa would not wallow in self-recrimination or prolonged grief. Most likely she would pragmatically accept that there was nothing she could do to change things and move on to serve whichever reviewer was next in line for a new assistant. Haggerty had no final words for her or for Doug, nothing that mattered enough to say. All his affairs were in order, and if the only duty left to him was to rubberstamp some paperwork, well, that was one obligation his successor at BBI could discharge.

So easy, he thought. The cool metal drew heat from his finger — that exchange seemed reasonable. He could trade the inertia of routine for the act of pressing, trade the anesthetizing drug of work, duty, and obligation for the anesthetic spray on his thumb, the unfelt injection of tailored toxin that would deaden his pain centers as life drained from his body.

A fine tremor ran through his hands. He sat back, letting go of the unit. He felt old, tired, done.

He reached for his button once more. Just one push, he thought, one tiny exertion of pressure and it would be over — much as his father must have thought a year earlier, Haggerty suspected, as his thumb tensed on the trigger of the registered antique, double-barrel shotgun illegally restored to working order. Haggerty drew a deep breath and flipped the ARM switch.

“Recording,” announced the soft feminine electronic voice he’d selected years ago from a dozen options. “Eighth March, Twenty-one-fifty-six, oh-nine twenty-four.” The pale amber light he’d chosen came on beneath the button.

It was customary to say something. But nothing came to mind—no Forgive me or Not without you or Since I am ruined or Just done it all like he’d seen in so many reviews. So he merely said, “Enough . . . it’s been enough,” wondering who the agency would send to do the post-press, hoping it wasn’t Corbin. The Dragon owed him that much, at least.

A bead of sweat made its way through his hairline and down, stinging, into one eye. The climate control system silently switched on, no doubt registering his rise in body temperature, pumping cool air. His compartment was more alive than he was. Haggerty circled the button with the tip of his middle finger with hesitant tenderness, like a man exploring the nipple of a new lover, certain now. He couldn’t stand to face another day. He stared at his unit, ready to press.

The phone chimed an incoming call.

“Damn it!” he grunted, laughing mirthlessly. “Answer, visual off!” he barked, and disarmed his KV unit.

A small, clear light appeared in the air a few feet in front of him, began spinning fast, acquiring color, depth, texture, expanding outward until a life-size holographic representation of Elsa floated in the center of his living room.

“I’m downstairs, Jason,” she said. “Why is your visual off?”

“I’m naked,” Haggerty lied, stowing his KV unit in the drawer of an end table. “Still interested in seeing me?”

“Do you want me to see you?” she asked with polite disinterest.

Elsa was dressed in regulation BBI grays. The jumpsuit, though neither fashionable nor flattering, did little to hide her physical perfection. When she’d first been assigned to him, Haggerty had been married only fifteen years, and Lorraine had teased him, claiming to be jealous of his beautiful, supportive, fiercely loyal assistant. After all, flesh was flesh, and most reviewers did end up taking their assistants to bed, Haggerty included. But that was before Lorraine, and no matter how adult Elsa looked, she reminded him of a child.

“I thought you might like to ride to work together,” she said. Meaning she had concluded that his behavior over the last few days was worrisome, and she wanted to keep an eye on him.

“Go in without me,” Haggerty said. “I’m debating calling in sick.”

“Are you seriously ill, Jason?” Elsa asked. “What sort of symptoms are you — You’d better let me come up immediately.”

“Wait there, I’ll be down in five,” Haggerty said. He snapped off the connection, glanced at the end table drawer and headed for the master bathroom just off his bedroom. The lights flared awake as he entered. “Cold,” he said, and the basin tap came on.

Haggerty popped open his pillcase and extracted a celtrex. The translucent, faint green gelcap sat in the palm of his hand like a drop of seawater. Sometimes he wished it were more than a drop, wished it were enough to drown his sorrows. He reached into a cabinet for a disposable cup. His hand came into contact with something soft. He frowned, pulled out the unexpected object, then froze, staring down at one of the bejeweled fabric ribbons Lorraine had used to tie back her long black hair. How had this one escaped his notice? He’d thought he got rid of them all. Haggerty lifted the ribbon slowly to his face. It was still there, ever so faint, the scent of jasmine and Lorraine.

He gripped the sink, closed his eyes, got himself enough under control to put the scrap of cloth back into the cabinet and grab for a cup. He filled it with water and swallowed the pill, calming instantly — a psychological reaction; it would be three or four minutes before the drug could do the job it was intended for, if not the job he needed done. He bent over the sink, splashed his face, then stared into the mirror and waited for the celtrex to take effect.

The mirror continued to lie, proclaiming him to be exactly as he had appeared on his thirtieth birthday, sixty years ago. His hair was still dark, his chin still cleft, still the most notable feature in what might be called a boyishly attractive face. Only his gray eyes revealed the truth: Haggerty had seen too damned much, too damned often. His eyes would always be haunted.

It appeared that he would be discharging his final obligations, after all. Maybe he should request that as his epitaph: A Conscientious Citizen to the End. With another mirthless laugh, Haggerty left the bathroom, pulled on his uniform, slid his pillcase into a pocket, grabbed his com from where he’d left it on the nightstand, and headed out for what he decided would be his last day of work.

* * *

Excerpt from The Killswitch Review, published by Yard Dog Press. Copyright 2011 Steven-Elliot Altman.

Steven-Elliot Altman is a bestselling author, screenwriter, and videogame developer. He won multiple awards for his online role playing game, 9Dragons. His novels include Captain America is Dead, Zen in the Art of Slaying Vampires, Batman: Fear Itself, Batman: Infinite Mirror, The Killswitch Review, The Irregulars, and Deprivers. His writing has been compared to that of Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Michael Crichton and Philip K. Dick, and he has collaborated with world class writers such as Neil Gaiman, Michael Reaves, Harry Turtledove and Dr. Janet Asimov. He’s also the editor of the critically acclaimed anthology The Touch, and a contributor to Shadows Over Baker Street, a Hugo Award winning anthology of Sherlock Holmes meets H.P. Lovecraft stories.

Steven also bares ink on his body, and is bi, as in bi-coastal, between NYC and LA. He’s currently hard at work writing and directing his latest videogame Cursed Love, an online free to play gothic horror RPG from Dark Hermit Studios, set in Victorian London. Think Sherlock Holmes, Jack The Ripper and Dorian Gray mercilessly exploit the cast of Twilight. Friend Cursed Love (Official Closed Beta) on facebook and you can have fun playing out this tawdry, tragic romance with Steven while the game is being beta tested!

Diane DeKelb-Rittehouse spent several years in Manhattan as an actress before marrying her college sweetheart and returning to the Philadelphia area where she had been born. Diane first worked with Steven-Elliot Altman when they created the acclaimed, Publisher’s Weekly Starred-Review anthology The Touch: Epidemic of the Millennium, in which her story “Gifted” appeared. Diane has published a number of critically acclaimed short stories, most notably in the science fiction, murder, and horror genres. Her young adult fantasy novel, Fareie Rings: The Book of Forests, is now available in stores or online.

Interested in buying a printed copy of The Killswitch Review? Well, Steve’s publisher Yard Dog Press was kind enough to put up a special page where SuicideGirls can get a special discount and watch a sexy trailer. Just follow this link to KillswitchReview.com and click on the SG logo.

Related Posts:
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One, Part Two

by Laurelin I’ve never thought of myself as a particularly crazy person. I don’t yell or scream at people I’m dating, I’m not jealous, I don’t nag, and I don’t get upset when ex- girlfriends are still in the picture. I was horrified by the female lead in He’s Just Not That Into You, and... more

by Laurelin

I’ve never thought of myself as a particularly crazy person. I don’t yell or scream at people I’m dating, I’m not jealous, I don’t nag, and I don’t get upset when ex- girlfriends are still in the picture. I was horrified by the female lead in He’s Just Not That Into You, and I am a firm believer in the idea “if it’s not fun, why do it?” Relationships are supposed to be fun. If it’s not fun, why the hell are you still dating? I’m not a crazy girl. Or at least that’s what I have been telling myself for as far back as I can remember. I guess if you break it down, I’m just as crazy as the next girl. I just hide it damn well.

I have been caught being crazy once a few years back, and let me tell you, it whipped me into shape. As much as I like throwing myself under the bus when I write these articles, what I did was so absolutely insane that I can’t even think about it without my cheek burning in shame. All I know is that I was busted, and the look on my boyfriend’s face when he caught me red handed was enough for me to realize then and there that acting like an untrusting maniac was the most un-sexy quality a girl can have. He should have broken up with me on the spot, and I’m not sure why he didn’t. I guess I got lucky. Unfortunately, that experience engrained something in me, and from that moment on I didn’t act anything but totally laid back about everything, ever. I didn’t ever want anyone looking at me the way my boyfriend looked at me that day.

That same guy would later start cheating on me, and when I walked in on him and the other woman I smiled and shook her hand and introduced myself before collecting my things and walking out. I remember my blood boiling inside as I smiled and said, “Hi, I’m Laurelin.” I thought smoke might come out of my ears as she turned to him and said, “Oh, she’s so nice!” I almost threw up walking back to my car, tears spilling over my bloodshot eyes and burning hot down my cheeks. One would think that I would never talk to that guy again. But I didn’t want to be crazy, so I swallowed any ounce of emotion and soon we were back on track as just friends –– the three of us would even hang out. Looking back, even I know that that’s fucked up –– an ounce of crazy in that situation would have been more than fine.

Fast-forward to now, and my current situation. I am no one’s girlfriend, but I guess I wouldn’t classify myself as exactly single either. I’m not itching to have “that talk.” I like things the way they are. (I think…) I’m noticing that I’m starting to look for things that are wrong with this person; I’m itching for a fight and looking for any reason to kick myself or him to the curb. Luckily with my anti- crazy female training I am aware that I’m fishing for self-sabotage and I have been able to talk myself out of being anything but totally calm and collected. There is no reason to get angry because you’re not going to lunch on time. Don’t delete his phone number because he had to work late. Stop. Acting. Crazy.

It’s just so odd to me when things are just…perfect. It’s been a few months of smooth sailing, and, as I am forever waiting for disaster, I’m trying to prepare myself for the worst, getting ready for the inevitable heartbreak. I feel like I’m already in over my head and I’m choking and thrashing to break the surface, trying to find any reason to get out of this before it’s really too late, before I’m sobbing into my pillows watching Meg Ryan movies and eating Chinese food for days on end. I guess deep down every crazy girl just doesn’t want to get hurt, and in searching mercilessly for something wrong with this guy I’m only showing my true shameful colors. Calm and collected all the time, my ass. I like this guy and he’s in trouble, because I have a serious case of the crazies.


***

Related Posts:
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Unsettled
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boys of Summer
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Play On Playa'
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: How to Lose a Girl in Ten Minutes
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Naked Laurelin Reading
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Healthy Relationships are for Boring People and Other Mishaps
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Letting Go
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Does it Exist?
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The Dating Game
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: After a Few Beers Everyone Looks Good and Other Love Stories
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Getting Naked With Laurelin
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Seven Days and Seven Nights of Sobriety
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: When it’s Time to Move On
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Starting Over and Other Stupid Resolutions
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: He Broke Up with Me on a Post-it and Other Travesties
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The End of Four Loko As We Know It
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boston’s Top 5 Dives

"You're going to get so sick of me," quipped Olivia Wilde, when a journalist at a recent press conference noted that she was "going to be everywhere in the next couple of weeks." Though it's true we're going to see a lot of Wilde (who took her stage name from a certain... more

"You're going to get so sick of me," quipped Olivia Wilde, when a journalist at a recent press conference noted that she was "going to be everywhere in the next couple of weeks." Though it's true we're going to see a lot of Wilde (who took her stage name from a certain Oscar), the likelihood that we'll tire of the actress – who is as smart as she is attractive – in the immediate future is slim to none.

She first came to prominence as Thirteen in House, but her role as Quorra in the 2010 blockbuster Tron: Legacy firmly established her as big screen leading lady material. This summer she has two major films opening back to back: Jon Favreau's Cowboys & Aliens, which also features Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig, and The Change-Up, which is, by and large, the topic of this Q&A.

Styled after classic body swap movies like Freaky Friday, the set up for The Change-Up sees Dave, the over-stressed and over-married lawyer (Jason Bateman), and his BFF Mitch, the too happy go lucky and very single actor/stoner/whatever (Ryan Reynolds), coveting each other's lives. Wilde enters the frame as Sabrina, an associate at Dave's law firm whom the guys mutually covet, however she refused to play her as your run of the mill, caught between two men, one-dimensional love interest.

The daughter of two renowned journalists, it's perhaps instinctive that Wilde worked closely with the film's writers, Jon Lucas and Scott Moore (of Hangovers 1 and 2), and director David Dobkin (Friends With Benefits and Wedding Crashers) to ensure that Sabrina jumped off the page as a fully fleshed out, post-modern woman. Though the film is somewhat flawed, it's these moments that she brought to the table –– such as a tattoo scene in which a gaggle of Sons of Anarchy-types gather between her well-spread thighs –– that are among the film's most memorable.

Here Wilde talks about why she took on Sabrina, and how she avoided the stereotypes associated with such a roll.

Question: Can you talk a little bit about being in these two very high profile films -- how these opportunities came to you, and how you feel about each of them?

Olivia Wilde: I feel very lucky to be in two such different movies in one year. It's really kind of a luxury for an actor to have an opportunity to show such different types of characters. It's really fun. I actually left Cowboys & Aliens and went straight into The Change-Up, which was kind of a funny change of pace. I remember walking around on the set of Cowboys in this Western town holding the script for The Change-Up and saying to everyone, "What do you think? I mean, this is the funniest script I've ever read in my entire life. Can I run right into another movie?" And everybody said if a script makes you laugh that hard, you can't miss the opportunity, it doesn't happen very often. I actually was supposed to do another thing, pulled out of it, and went down to Atlanta because this script was just too good to miss. And it kept getting better. I mean that was just the beginning. Then we started this awesome collaborative process of fleshing out these characters, in particular the women. I really wanted to make Sabrina, my character in The Change-Up, smarter, tougher, and funnier. The guys were very supportive of that. I found it to be a very collaborative, great environment. I had so much fun in both of these movies and now being able to show them to people is really special. I love that people don't actually understand how it's me in both of them. I think a lot of people don't realize that it's me in both movies because I look different and act different, and that's obviously the goal for an actor. So I feel very lucky.

Q: What was it about the character Sabrina that really resonated with you?

OW: Well, you know, the whole movie to me is about balance in your life. Ryan and Jason find themselves at the beginning of this movie on opposite sides of a pretty extreme spectrum. You have the responsible guy who's got the kids and a lot of pressure on his back, and you've got the guy with no pressure who's just completely irresponsible and just has nothing to do and sleeps on a futon. They're envious of each other because they're fully in those extremes. Throughout the movie they learn grass is greener, and they have these insanely outrageous experiences, and they end up learning to have a bit of both in their life -- to have a little bit of fun and responsibility. I found that Sabrina was an example of that from the beginning. I loved that she had both in her life. She was a very smart lawyer, very responsible, professional. At the same time, [she was] kind of a wild woman. And I think that balance is healthy, and it's something that I enjoy bringing to the screen because I think too often our characters are one-dimensional and they don't really have that balance. I knew they would make it funnier, because if you assume that she was this sort of more conservative lawyer [who was] on top of her game at work, you wouldn't expect her to sit down at the date and order Scotch and suggest getting a tattoo. I liked surprising the audience in that way. If she was too wild and sassy from the beginning, she's not really a surprise, it's not really satisfying. So we spent a lot of time developing her. I was so grateful that they listened to any of my ideas because I was, out of the bunch, the least experienced in this type of film. But I do love to write, and I did bring some ideas, and a few major things that I brought to the table made it into the movie. That was such a thrill for me. I learned a lot and ended up creating a character that I'm proud of.

Q: You've seen a lot of change and growth in your career, and you've seen a lot of changes too in your life professionally and personally in the past year. Are you surprised at all by the way things have turned out? How do you feel the past year has been?

OW: I've been very, very lucky. This year has been outstanding in terms of being able to have these opportunities, all different types. The fact that I was able to have this huge opportunity with House and then Tron, and then several of my smaller projects, and then given the chance to do something completely new. I mean, for The Change-Up, Dobkin hadn't seen me do anything like this, but he had sensed that I could do. So I felt really lucky to have that chance. It was a surprise and one of those opportunities that you don't see coming, and it changes your life in a certain way. The same thing happened with Cowboys & Aliens. At this point, I don't know what's going to happen next week because everything seems to change so quickly. I just can count my blessings and feel really lucky at this point, continue working really hard and learn from all the people that I'm working with. Because that's the most satisfying thing about all of this, that I've had the chance to experience these kind of master classes in acting from people like Harrison Ford, Daniel Craig, Jason, Ryan, Leslie, everybody, so it's been a good year.

Q: Like in the movie, have you had a time in your life where you wished you were somebody else?

OW: Of course. I think all of us have had that experience where the grass is greener and you wish that you had the other person's life. And, you know, the really amazing thing about acting is I get to experience all different kinds of lives. I mean, I now have been a doctor and a cowgirl and a computer programmer, so I get to experience all these different lifestyles. It is really a valuable part of the experience of acting, getting to develop all of these different skill sets and really throw yourself into different identities. At this point, I realize that in my own life I have won the life lottery. I am an incredibly lucky person, and I try to keep that all in perspective and remember that. So any time I start being envious of someone else's, I remember I have it pretty good myself.

Q: People are always coveting the life of a movie star -- what do you think are the drawbacks?

OW: First of all, I can never describe myself as a movie star. I don't know when that happens, but certainly not me. I think that, you know, you sign a sort of unwritten contract when you become a public figure, when you become an actor, that you're sacrificing a certain amount of privacy and parts of your life change. But the opportunity to be able to tell stories to a massive audience is really incredible, and this job couldn't be more satisfying. So any drawbacks I think are worth it if you really enjoy the work. And I hope to be doing this until I die. Hopefully that's a long time from now. Anything that becomes an obstacle in life is only an opportunity to learn. It's the same in any profession I think.

Q: As difficult as it is, I'm sure, to pretend to be attracted to Ryan Reynolds, did you feel like it was important to establish a real sort of chemistry between these two characters?

OW: No. You know, the funny thing is Sabrina is initially attracted to Dave. She likes Dave. She likes Jason Bateman's character. She loves that he's this brilliant lawyer, she loves his awkwardness, all of that is a real turn on for her and she identifies with him in certain ways. So when she meets Ryan's character, she's actually getting to have that same personality in this different shell. It feels familiar to her, and she's attracted to his personality more than his looks. When she sits down at that date, she's expecting him to be just another dude who thinks he's going to be able to date her because he's good looking, and she's very tough with him. She sends back the Chardonnay and asks for a Scotch because she just wants a drink after a long day at work. She's not expecting much from this guy, even if he's really pretty. Then he opens his mouth and he's funny and he's smart, and that's what makes Sabrina fall in love with him. And that's certainly I think the way it is for many of us women. There's a lot of pretty guys out there, but there are very few that are funny and smart enough for us.

Q: I'm just curious about working with David Dobkin. How much freedom are you given for improv for example?

OW: Gosh, it was great. Dobkin loves to push the boundaries, and he knew that we were pulling no punches on this movie. He knew that we were making this a hard R, and as far as we were willing to go was as far as he was going to push it. We would often keep the cameras rolling and just to see what happened. That's where a lot of the great moments were born. I really appreciated Dobkin's collaborative spirit. He was very open, very encouraging of me since I was kind of new to this type of film. He was very encouraging for me to go all out. I knew by watching Wedding Crashers and seeing what he had done, particularly with Isla's character, that he respected and encouraged funny women. They weren't just there to hold up the walls, which happens way too often in these comedies -- the boys are funny and the girls are there to do nothing -- and it's not the way he operates. That's the reason I wanted to do the movie [was] because I knew this was an opportunity to play in a really good environment with smart people. He was really encouraging of me in terms of making Sabrina smarter, and making her really have a purpose behind everything she did. Certainly in one of her wildest moments, she's in the midst of this kind of feminist manifesto and she's not just stripping down to entice him, it's about something much deeper. So I love Dobkin's intelligence and his respect for women. I think that's why you see these funny female characters in his movies.

Q: There's a long tradition in Hollywood of making body switch movies all the way back to Freaky Friday and other comedies in the '80s. What was it about this script in particular that you liked and that stood out from all the rest of those films?

OW: I loved how outrageous and funny it was. I loved this idea of taking a concept that the audience is familiar enough with that they understand the logic, they can accept it, and then you can have fun. It's just a launching pad for ridiculous, fun situations. I really appreciated that they were going to make a hard R body swap comedy, and that it was going to involve two fantastic actors who the audience really wants to see play in these different kind of environments. And I loved that when you do a body swap comedy, the reason it's so funny is because the stakes are always high. It's always outrageous and terrifying, and I think it's something everyone can really relate to as well. As we were speaking about before, have you ever wanted to be someone else? Well if you actually found yourself in that situation, what could you handle? What if you had to walk into a lorno [a light porno] like Ryan did. I knew that they were pushing it, it wasn't like they were just going to show a day in the life. It was really much more extreme than that. I loved that I could tell that they weren't afraid to push the boundaries. That's what I'm all about. It's very hard to shock me, and when I read the script I found myself gasping, and shocked, and really excited. I also very rarely laugh out loud at scripts and I was just howling. It was just well written, and I loved that they were taking this opportunity to take a concept people understood and blow it out of the water.

Q: You mentioned earlier that you wrote a couple of things for your character that got into the film. What were they? Also, are you looking into doing that more in the future?

OW: Well, I love the writing process. It's something that I'm interested in personally. It's something that I always do on every movie. Writers get to know me very well. It always serves me in the end because I feel I have a deeper understanding of the character, and sometimes they really like my ideas and they use them. But I don't kind of swagger in with a bunch of big structural changes and demand things. I sort of meekly suggest -- what about this, could we do that -- while understanding the structure of the film and not trying to change that.

In this movie an idea that I came to them with was the tattoo concept. That was because we were trying to think of something outrageous that could happen on the date that would be at once fun and sexy, but a little too much for Dave. Something he would wake up and think, "Oh my god!" And something that they audience would enjoy. We had all sorts of ideas. They were going to run through a graveyard, they were going to go to a rave and see Mark Wahlberg, we had all these weird ideas. We were just thinking what could it be, and I thought the great thing about a tattoo is that it creates something permanent after this wild experience is over, something that will force them to remember. I loved that they then came up with this idea of putting Jason's face on Ryan's back. That was all them. But the tattoo idea was something I brought to the table. I was so excited when they liked it. It was this amazing feeling that helped me build confidence, and it's helped me in my own writing process. I wrote a script that I'm directing this summer. It's a short film. It's a comedy, and I know I learned a tremendous amount from this experience.

Q: What Sabrina was like on the page when you originally got the script?

OW: She was already someone I really wanted to play. She was clearly smart and interesting, but she wasn't necessarily as wild as she ended up being. I think that we kept pushing it further and further in the pre-production stages as we were going through the script, saying, you know, can we make this a little funnier? Can we make this a little more intense? I really liked the idea of her really shocking the audience in a certain way. I wanted her to be unpredictable, so we all worked together to make her scenes at the office a little bit more of a misdirect. You know, she's kind of serious about her work, and she's very apt with the legal terminology, and she's clearly not the sassy secretary slinking around the office. I think it was sort of ambiguous at first what her role was in the office. I kept saying she's not Jason's secretary. They were like, "We know." I was like, "She's the associate....You have to hire another person to play the secretary so they know." They're like, "Yes, okay Olivia." So, that kind of stuff, you know, just really clarifying that she was this professional, and then having certain beats in the date to let you know that she's a pretty unique type of women.

The whole thing with the scotch was something that we added because I thought it would define her in her certain way for the audience. And then you see her start to actually have fun, and that was something that developed as we were working on the script. That she actually really falls for this guy, and it becomes a little bit more heartbreaking 'cause you realize, oh no, Sabrina, he's not real, he's not actually there. He's going to go back to his wife and when you see the real Mitch, what are you going to think?

Q: What is your idea of a good time on a date?

OW: One that ends at dawn. Yeah. I think, you know, creativity -- not being taken to a boring restaurant and a boring whatever. I think, you know, someone who thinks of something interesting -- an interesting location. I love that in the script, you know, he doesn't really know how to go on a date. He has no idea. So when they leave the restaurant and it's 2 o' clock, and she's like, "What should we do now?" The last thing he can remember from the dating world is raves, so he's like, "We can go to a rave," and she thinks he's hilarious. She thinks it's the funniest thing she's ever heard, but he's obviously serious. You just see that he has no idea how to show her a good time and so she ends up taking him on this wild experience. But, for me, yeah, it's some sort of creative idea and one that stays fun. I think one that has a sense of humor as well.

Q: Do you like to plan or do you like to be surprised?

OW: I like to be surprised, yeah, for sure.

The Change-Up opens in theaters this Friday, August 5.

(image) by Blogbot (image) (image) (image) Delilah
 the Pekingese


 (pictured with her mistress Creepy Suicide) INTO: Mini tennis balls, squeakers from inside my toys, food of any kind, chasing squirrels and birds on walks, chasing the cat, singing for mommy, and sleeping all day

. NOT... more

by Blogbot







Delilah
 the Pekingese


 (pictured with her mistress Creepy Suicide)

• INTO: Mini tennis balls, squeakers from inside my toys, food of any kind, chasing squirrels and birds on walks, chasing the cat, singing for mommy, and sleeping all day

.


• NOT INTO: Children, being woken up, going to the vet, baths or getting my hair and nails cut, having to wait for mommy to wake up to go outside, rain, and when it snows because the salt gets stuck in between my toes =(

.


• MAKES ME HAPPY: Mini balls, squeakers, my crochet corn and eggplant toys, bacon, long walks at night, sleeping behind mommys knees, and going to grandma's

.


• MAKES ME SAD: The rain and snow, the kennel (purgatory), losing my mini balls under the furniture, leaving grandma's, getting shots, and people I dont know trying to pick me up.


• HOBBIES: Sleeping and more sleeping, barking at any noise I hear, playing fetch, chasing animals big and small, and doing tricks for my treats

.


• 5 THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT: My squeakers and balls, ice cubes in my water bowl, bacon, mommy, and my Juicy Couture collar.


• VICES: Barking at everything while mommy is trying to sleep, growling when I'm woken up, biting mommy when I get scared or mad, rolling in dirty things outside (like poop), not letting mommy come near me when we're at grandma's, tearing every toy I get apart for the squeaker inside, and trying to attack people I dont know outside on my walks

.


• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Chewing on tennis balls, chewing on my toys, chewing in general, eating everything I can find, and driving mommy crazy cuz I love her!

by Secretary (image) This past Sunday, I woke up in a different London to the one I know and love. On Saturday night, a peaceful protest about the shooting of Mark Duggan in Tottenham had turned into a violent riot. The riots morphed into looting and violence, and it spread like a virus. That Saturday,... more

by Secretary



This past Sunday, I woke up in a different London to the one I know and love. On Saturday night, a peaceful protest about the shooting of Mark Duggan in Tottenham had turned into a violent riot. The riots morphed into looting and violence, and it spread like a virus.

That Saturday, I’d been at two fellow SG member’s apartment in North London. We’d heard of the Tottenham riots, but had assumed it would die down once the police got there. Since we were also in the company of an SG member living in Germany, talk turned to what we loved about London. We talked about how it is truly a diverse city in every sense of the word; about how people from every walk of life live side by side, and about how this makes the city feel so alive.

Earlier in the day, I’d briefly dived through the Brixton Splash, an annual community street festival that’s a celebration of diversity in an area famed for past troubles and tensions. Free food was cooked and handed out, there was rap, reggae and people drinking and dancing in the streets under the blazing sunshine. It was happy and relaxed, and it had ended peacefully at around 7 PM.

As myself and SG member Vermin made our way back from North to South London that Saturday night, we passed again through Brixton. We had no idea that just two hours later a gang of 200 youths would descend on the place, looting businesses and starting huge fires as they rampaged down the high street

We awoke on Sunday morning to find shops had been broken into. The police had cordoned the affected area off, tube stations were closed, busses were diverted, and the air was thick with a shared sense of unease. Shops closed early and people hurried home in the daylight. Rumors started to spread, of looting and riots planned in other areas.

Nobody was quite prepared for just how out of hand it became.

Friends in Streatham couldn’t sleep that night for the sound of sirens.

Friends in Peckham listened as a mob descended upon the shop and petrol station at the end of their road, as fires blazed one street over.

Friends in Croydon weathered some of the most terrifying violence of all, seeing people in masks pulling others out of their cars and robbing people’s homes. Muggings and serious acts of arson meant the London borough was described widely as a 'war zone.'


[Image source: Telegraph.co.uk]

People filled up Twitter with eyewitness reports of horrors in Ealing, Clapham, Hackney, Camden. This map shows the extent of the rioting in London.

Whilst the rolling news channels played the same scenes of devastation on a loop, Facebook, Youtube and Twitter have showed a million small acts of kindness, community and defiance. @riotcleanup has been coordinating volunteers for the clean-up effort all day. Their website has crashed several times over, and so many volunteers turned up in some places that people didn’t know what to do with them. The picture below, taken of the clean-up effort in Clapham, has warmed many a Londoner's heart today.


[The clean-up in Clapham via @Lawcol888 and Mirror.co.uk]

The looters, for the most part, were young. Depressingly young in some cases. They tended to come from the more economically deprived areas of the city, although it would be a mistake to assume that they looted because they were poor. Many of the photos captured showed that those partaking in the lawlessness were wearing expensive branded clothing, and it has been said that much of the organization of the mobs was done via BBM (Blackberry messaging), Blackberries of course being fairly pricey phones. The shops most often targeted were those selling cell phones and sneakers (or mobiles and trainers as we say here in the UK) rather than those from which looters might take electronics, alcohol and cash.

What started as a peaceful protest turned into something else, in part because of a realization that numbers help to make you invisible. People burned and smashed property so that they could feel important and above the law. They took things because they thought they could get away with it. The police were not prepared for things to get so bad so quickly; thanks to BBM the rioters and looters, whilst representing a miniscule minority of Londoners, were able to outsmart the police.

As my good friend and SG member DrewBeckett said ‘These people aren’t Londoners; London wants nothing to do with them. Whilst some copycat violence has erupted in other big UK cities, public anger at those partaking is overwhelming. One Facebook initiative, Operation Cup of Tea, encourages us Brits to do what comes naturally in a crisis – namely to keep calm, stay in, and drink tea.

People are invited to show their opposition to the riots by posting a picture of themselves on Facebook, having a cup of tea. We’re also encouraging SG readers/members to post pictures in the comments section below. To kick things off, here’s some pics of me and my SG mates Mat8drb and LaurenZombie showing support with a mug of the good stuff.


[Above: Secretary, SG Member]


[Above: Mat8drb, SG Member]


[Above: LaurenZombie, SG Member]

Further Reading:
Our SG UK group has threads on The Riots (What’s Really Happening and Why) and on Operation Cup of Tea.

***UPDATE***

Wednesday, Aug 10, 4.47 AM PST - More images just in:


"Last night during the Manchester riots, I could hear a fair few gangs come past my street near to the end of the night...Luckily I was drinking "Twinings - A moment of calm." - Social, SG Member


Oxy, SG Member


CptPyjama, SG Member

***UPDATE***

Wednesday, Aug 10, 1.45 PM PST - Even more images just in:



“I had an extra special peppermint tea bag that I had saved” – Sminks, SG Member


coldandwet, SG Member


Wilona, SG Member


Umeko, SG Member


Sticks, SG Member


Saiylor Suicide


“I got that mug in 1989 with an Easter egg. 
Still going strong and makes the brew better.” – Mark_plus_Beer, SG Member


“My mug is a direct homage to a very London-centric bunch of artists. The Bloomsbury Group, the Omega Workshop...I salute your absolute fucking barminess, and your questionable genius. But most of all, I salute you for having been part of making London the magical city it is. No amount of vandalism can kill that magic.” - DrewBeckett, SG Member

(image) by Blogbot (image) (image) (image) Delilah
 the Pekingese


 (pictured with her mistress Creepy Suicide) INTO: Mini tennis balls, squeakers from inside my toys, food of any kind, chasing squirrels and birds on walks, chasing the cat, singing for mommy, and sleeping all day

. NOT... more

by Blogbot







Delilah
 the Pekingese


 (pictured with her mistress Creepy Suicide)

• INTO: Mini tennis balls, squeakers from inside my toys, food of any kind, chasing squirrels and birds on walks, chasing the cat, singing for mommy, and sleeping all day

.


• NOT INTO: Children, being woken up, going to the vet, baths or getting my hair and nails cut, having to wait for mommy to wake up to go outside, rain, and when it snows because the salt gets stuck in between my toes =(

.


• MAKES ME HAPPY: Mini balls, squeakers, my crochet corn and eggplant toys, bacon, long walks at night, sleeping behind mommys knees, and going to grandma's

.


• MAKES ME SAD: The rain and snow, the kennel (purgatory), losing my mini balls under the furniture, leaving grandma's, getting shots, and people I dont know trying to pick me up.


• HOBBIES: Sleeping and more sleeping, barking at any noise I hear, playing fetch, chasing animals big and small, and doing tricks for my treats

.


• 5 THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT: My squeakers and balls, ice cubes in my water bowl, bacon, mommy, and my Juicy Couture collar.


• VICES: Barking at everything while mommy is trying to sleep, growling when I'm woken up, biting mommy when I get scared or mad, rolling in dirty things outside (like poop), not letting mommy come near me when we're at grandma's, tearing every toy I get apart for the squeaker inside, and trying to attack people I dont know outside on my walks

.


• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Chewing on tennis balls, chewing on my toys, chewing in general, eating everything I can find, and driving mommy crazy cuz I love her!

(image) by Nicole Powers (video) [Above: FDA, FBI & LAPD agents raid Rawesome private food club in Venice, CA.] The people of Venice, CA slept soundly last night after authorities broke up a major criminal cartel that had been operating in their midst. Raw milk and cheese lord, James “Rawesome”... more

by Nicole Powers


[Above: FDA, FBI & LAPD agents raid Rawesome private food club in Venice, CA.]

The people of Venice, CA slept soundly last night after authorities broke up a major criminal cartel that had been operating in their midst. Raw milk and cheese lord, James “Rawesome” Stewart, and his accomplices, Sharon Ann Palmer and Eugenie Bloch of Healthy Family Farms LCC, were arrested yesterday following a raid on premises in the predominantly metro-hippy, hipster-hippy, genuinely hippy, and wannabe hippy beach district.

The multi-agency action –– a collaboration between the FDA, the FBI and the LAPD –– is part of a major government crackdown on healthy food. Agents had successfully scored illicit cheese and dairy products on several occasions during a year-long undercover sting operation centered around Rawesome, a members-only organic produce speakeasy operated by Stewart out of a location at 665 Rose Ave. After consuming the goods they obtained, the reduction in allergy and asthma symptoms in the operatives involved provided probable cause for the warrant required for Wednesday’s armed raid.


[Above: No Mango Left Behind]

The search warrant, which was issued by the appropriately name Ms. LeCavalier, called for a thorough search of all rooms, attics, and basements of the single story property, plus the surrounding grounds, garages, vehicles, storage areas, trash containers, freezers, refrigerators, and outbuildings. A Girl Scout who was just selling cookies in the wrong place at the wrong time was also asked to turn out her pockets, but only string and a compass was found.

The document also called for samples to be taken, and that the remainder of the controlled substances be seized and destroyed according to State of California "health" codes. Highly trained law enforcement agents therefore dilligently poured the exceedingly fresh milk down drains, and loaded organic produce and whole food onto a truck for off-site destruction as several members of the local homeless community looked on. However, Mrs Tovey, a sprightly pensioner from nearby Marina del Rey, escaped with several mangoes in her hemp handbag before all the fresh food could be removed from the site. She is wanted for questioning in relation to this matter.

Computers, receipts, phone records, a 2007 crumpled Baywatch calendar, and other documents were also seized, as were membership records and documents pertaining to The Right To Choose Healthy Food campaign. Authorities will be contacting members of the raw milk prohibition-busting club over the next few weeks to not-so-gently remind them that The Right To Choose Healthy Food doesn’t exist, and that the First Amendment right to make and distribute pamphlets about it is going the way of habeas corpus.

Talking of which…

Los Angeles prosecutors allege Stewart is guilty of conspiracy to supply fresh food, and is being held on $123,000 bail, with no possibility of using bonds. Furthermore, given Stewart’s Mr. Big status in the raw food underworld, authorities have taken the unusual step of requesting proof of the legitimacy of any funds posted to ensure proceeds from a secret stash of contraband unpasteurized Camembert are not used to spring the kingpin. Palmer has been charged with 9 counts of producing fresh food, and her part-time associate, Bloch, is charged with three counts of conspiracy to do so.


[Above: Eugenie Bloch’s husband, Thomas admits his wife if guilty of selling organic poultry and eggs.]

During the search of the Rawesome premises, authorities were hoping to find evidence that the illegal substances had been smuggled across state lines so they could pursue additional felony charges. However Westsiders know how hard it is to smuggle themselves East of the 405 at the best of times, so unfortunately for law enforcement officials the chances that the easily spoilable raw materials made it to La Brea, never mind the Arizona border are slim to none.

The three arrests had nothing to do with a massive recall of turkey produced by food giant Cargill, but since it happened in the same week The Los Angeles Times thought they’d mention it in their coverage of the raid just so they had a legitimate reason to use the word salmonella, since there was disappointingly no evidence that any goods produced or distributed by Stewart and Palmer had caused illness or were tainted by the pathogen (unlike that of the Minnesota-based food giant, whose dodgy meat is responsible for at least one death, and numerous cases of serious illness).

The manufacture and sale of unpasteurized dairy products is technically legal in California, however, thankfully a whole host of virtually unobtainable licenses and permits are required, which by and large puts a stop to the disgustingly healthy practice of consuming the stuff. But Stewart contends that since he wasn’t operating a public retail establishment, his members-only club wasn’t covered by the small print, which law enforcement officials are too understaffed and busy to read anyways. It’s therefore good to see that rather than taking the time to define the grey areas of the law, government officials are cutting to the chase and taking a firm stance on worryingly healthful consumables, which have the potential to seriously dent the much-maligned healthcare and pharmaceutical industry.

“Praise the lord that in these economically challenged times, the government is allocating significant resources to this issue,” said a Republican who asked not to be named before rushing off to check the value of his Big Ag and Pharma stocks.

***

The Consumer Wellness Center is collecting donations for a legal defense fund for James Stewart.

For more information on our government’s war on raw milk watch Farmageddon, and read our interview with the film’s maker, raw food and small farm advocate Kristin Canty.

**UPDATE**

At his arraignment at the Los Angeles County Courthouse on Thursday August 4, James Stewart's bail was reduced to $30,000. He was released on Friday on condition that he no longer engage in the sale of unpasteurized milk and cheese. (He's not even allowed to give away raw dairy and eggs, and Rawesome is subject to warrantless searches at any time.) Victoria Bloch was released without bail, but, according to MMO-Champion, "only under the condition that she completely give up her First Amendment rights and refrain from talking to anyone about the case." (She can't Facebook or Tweet about it, never mind talk to the press!) Sharon Ann Palmer is expected to be arraigned on Monday, August 8 in Ventura County. The delay is apparently due to transportation issues. Rawesome is currently closed, and, Healthfreedoms.org reports that the case "is now going to be handled by an 'environmental crimes' prosecutor from the FDA." Meanwhile, despite being responsible for 76 salmonella-related illnesses and one death, the owners of the company responsible, Cargill, continue to enjoy their life and liberty.

Government agencies involved in the year-long action again Rawesome include the FDA, the California Franchise Tax Board, the California Department of Food and Agriculture’s Milk and Dairy Food Safety Branch and the department’s Division of Measurement Standards, the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office, the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health, the Ventura County Sheriff’s Department, the Ventura County Department of Public Health, the LAPD, and the Los Angeles Department of Building and Safety. In related news, having maxed out our nation's spending limit, America's credit rating has been downgraded, and when it comes to the issues surrounding raw dairy, Democrats and Republicans are uniting in favor of less government intervention.

There will be a series of special screenings of Farmageddon at the Electric Lodge cinema on Saturday, August 20 (see details). Proceeds will go to the Rawesome Community Fund.

by SG's Team Agony feat. Aadie and Lexie Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls. (image) [Aadie in Time Out] Q: Got a problem that's been on my mind for a while. I've been married for the past 8 years, and my partner has... more

by SG's Team Agony feat. Aadie and Lexie

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Aadie in Time Out]

Q: Got a problem that's been on my mind for a while. I've been married for the past 8 years, and my partner has never been quite a partner in the sense of taking on or handling the usually shared responsibilities: paying bills, cleaning, parenting, etc., etc. I feel as if I'm constantly putting out fires started by her -- without the help of a partner. Being the dedicated person I like to be, I always muscled on -- I hate quitting.

So anyways, about 18 months ago I found out that she had an on going affair with my best friend. I was pretty shattered. I left with my son and broke ties with my ex-best friend. After 7 months I decided to try to repair the relationship for the sake of my son, and to help with her father since he was living with us and was fighting cancer. Also, I felt like I wanted to try again, so I moved back in. The disease eventually took its course, and her dad passed. I was glad to be around.

Now, 6 months have passed and I feel like I'm back where I started. I can't seem to find a way to love her like I did before. I love her as a person and the mother of my child, BUT I feel like I'm just playing a part in a movie, living a lie. We have little in common anymore. She hates all my friends, she aspires to do nothing more than sleep, read, and smoke pot, criticizes my family, and the list goes on. I'm scared to leave because I'll want custody of my son, and around here moms always win.

My head is just about to spin off my body. Any advise?

Anon-o-moose!

A: So I am a very firm believer in the sacredness of one’s happiness. I think that what you have tried to accomplish in spite of your issues is absolutely beautiful. You’re a good dad!

But, and don’t get me wrong here, for yourself that is not enough, nor is it for the child. It is frustrating growing up in a ‘loveless home.’ I have empathy for your fear of your wife receiving full custody. That alone is a massive drive to continue on, though you need to take a second to look at this whole situation. Your heart is entirely in the right place, ENTIRELY. But is it at all possible to sit down with your wife and discuss what you feel emotionally?

Though this is easier said than done, honesty in the end should never be a variable and it is always a beacon of the highest value. Usually, even if there is an upset, your genuine honestly is appreciated in the end. I want to tell you that she will be ok with this and that the two of you will work it out like adults in regards to the custody of your son, but I can’t unfortunately. Ultimately the decision resides with you as to what you think is the best course of action to take, I can only offer a blind and untainted opinion.

From where I am though, and the experience I have had in relationships, I feel moved to tell you that this is not good. But you know it’s not good. That’s why you’re writing us. It is possible that you could fall back in love with her and live happily ever after, but that outcome seems unlikely. The other is that you continue to force yourself to stay wrapped up in something/someone where the magic and lust has faltered and gone. I would not want that for anyone. Plus, are you completely sure that she is happy now either? She was, after all, participating in an affair!

The child does make this an incredibly emotionally charged and tricky situation, but do you really want your son growing up in a household where dad is suffocated and/or just stuck there? Emotionally stunted possibly? That is potentially what he’ll be exposed too, and those are not lessons we would want taught to our children.

Sticking it out is one thing, but consider this; Two separate happy households can be just as good, if not better than one. The key is getting her to cooperate (would couples counseling as you approach a split help?). I believe you have already determined in your gut what needs to be done –– taking the first step is the issue. Good luck.

Aadie

***


[Lexie in Speres]

Q: I have a problem, both of my best friends that are guys have feelings for me. I don't, so I tell them I'm a lesbian. I just want to be friends. I don't want to lose them, but yet they keep telling me how they want to be more than friends. I keep telling them that I just like girls but feel that they don't listen. I don't know what else to do or say to them. I’ve known them about 5 years now. Please help.

A: While I can understand how emotionally taxing it can be to have a close friend want more from you, and even more so when its two close friends, not being honest with yourself and your friends is doing more damage than good. If they are your close friends you should be able to be completely honest with them and not hide behind the facade of being someone you are not.

It may seem like a good idea at the time to just tell them you're a lesbian to get away from the pressures of their feelings for you, but they aren't taking seriously your attempt to mask not wanting a relationship with them by claiming a preference for the same sex. Isn't that obvious if they won't quit it?

Best friends can be honest with one another, even if the truth does hurt. It’s better to have all the cards out on the table and take a true stand about how you feel. If you keep masking behind being a lesbian, you aren't being true to yourself, –– and worse, you are helping add to the stigmas people in the LGBT community already face. Lesbians have a hard enough time in modern society being taken seriously when you have so many lesbanes seeking out male attention by claiming they like other women. Your average heterosexual male has had a fantasy, or two, involving lesbians. I'm sure they even believe they can snag you and another girl to fulfill this fantasy they have. Your little lie to get out of a tough situation, is just forcing you into a tougher one.

Come clean, and be honest. You'll feel better about yourself in the long run. And if they are your true best friends, they may be heartbroken, but they should understand and be able to move on.

Lexie

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

after my sudden yerning for an sg belt buckle, i realized that i didn't just want that. now added to my list of things i'd like to see in the shop... SG hip flask SG martini shaker SG zippo (you know you want one!) and SG cigarette case