What did you Learn today?

In the interest of starting a public campaign dedicated to the promotion oflearning, I offer this:

Today I learned that the cute girl who sells pictures at the flea market also works at the pretzel shop. And she's quite skilled at haggling.

Learn anything today? If so, what?

My parents are even bigger assholes than originally thought.

You can't say that something is "ghetto" in front of a black person- even though the origins of the word doesn't have anything to do with with them. Apparently, I needed to be "schooled" because it's just like saying nigger. What other things can't I say so I'm not so "ignorant"?

Valley rules Eight-Ball sucks.

a couple of things:

1. i'm too stupid to realize that driving to chicago requires money for the tolls.
2. i might just be lamest person i know.
3. i'm a pitty whore too.

I cannot make my ass any bigger, no matter how much I sit on it. Poor me.

"my penis is too large" is a valid defense in a sexual assault case...

see: Penis Used in Defence In Trial (originally from the Toronto Sun, but you gotta pay to read their stuff, so i found it on pervscan)

This guy brings the creepy where ever he goes.

I learned if your naked don't stand to close to the door when you close it.

I learned that I spend too much

I'm a lazy SOB.

I learned I can hold my pee for a VERY long time.

The homeless deserve our empathy.

Don't cook bacon naked.

*Struggling to not laugh myself off my chair*

that I can't go on paying a phone bill of 400 Euros for too long.

That protein stains are real. Don't use yellow socks.

I learned San Dimas High School Football RULES!

That work would be an excellent place to gather the tools/supplies I need to fix my television...

I tend to not have the equipment necessary for circuit card repair just lying about my home.

I learned, for the second day in a row, that the new coffeeshop on the corner serves lukewarm coffee.