What do you need?

I got this from a Myspace bulletin and thought it was rather funny.

Heres what you do:

Go to google.com and type "(your name) needs" Then pick the 5 funniest ones there.

If your name is James, you would put this in to the search engine: "James needs"...WITH the quotation marks.

you got the idea

Here's mine


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


(1) Joanne needs intellectual stimulation and companionship
(2) More important, JoAnne needs to slow down the process
(3) What Joanne needs further development
(4) Joanne needs space and can't stand to be suffocated. When under too much pressure
(5) Joanne needs to walk away from or ignore Rachael's tantrums and complaints when they are about things like her clothes or food.

mine only showed two.

1) seems Hafu needs to stop daydreaming
2) Turaga! Hafu needs help

5. Except I do have a feeling that Brad needs to have pretty high-end spreadsheet
functionality.

4. If Brad needs coaching, what makes you think you don’t?

3. Brad needs Kerry's psychic ability to sense where and when fires will happen to
catch this psychopath.

2. Brad needs to just calm down and let it fly.

1a. Brad needs to grow up!

1b. Brad needs babies!

1)Lobotomizer needs a reality check
2)Lobotomizer needs the fans more than ever
3)Lobotomizer needs the Enterprise to enable him to carry out his intention to become 'Lord of the Universe'
4)Lobotomizer needs to get back in the studio
5)What Lobotomizer needs to do is stop and say, It's not what I've done, but who I am


[Edited on Oct 06, 2005 by Lobotomizer]

1. Why Dirty David needs a wash.
2. David needs our support.
3. How was your career shaped by David's needs?
4. David needs prayers Sai Ram, brothers and sisters
5. David needs to roar with pride.

ha ha ha it came up with one for my SG name and one for my full name, so I used my nickname...

1. Silicon Fen needs pounds 2bn' to stop business exodus
2. Fen needs to buy things no matter what
3. And Fen needs some rest as well - the poor kid's already been through serious illness
4. either fen needs to go gay or lurk needs a sex change
5. I think Fen needs to replace The revolving door!

WEIRD

1. Megan needs prayers please.

2. . I think that Megan needs to become more acquainted with some of the conventions of spelling.

3. MEGAN NEEDS SOLUTIONS THAT SIMPLIFY – NOT COMPLICATE – HER LIFE.

4. Megan needs to learn how to receive the concessions and help others offer without
defensiveness.

5. Megan needs coffee this early!

1.) Rian needs:
-- A collapsible wheelchair so they can easily taken Rian from place to place.

2.) Rian needs to keep the actors in the dark.

3.) Rian needs work on improving his pass coverage; he is decent
in zone, but struggles in man to man coverage.

4.) Rian Needs More Cowbell.

5.) Rian needs a random new comment on his page.

1. Claire needs private support.

2. Claire needs your support.

3. Claire needs a Visit to the Bunny Planet.

4. Claire needs to watch out for the sleazy lawyer though, he's trouble!

5. Claire needs Edie.


Oh that's tickled me!
(edited to rectify my terrible typing)

[Edited on Oct 07, 2005 by Lissom]

In no particular order of hillarity:

1. Jesse needs some reading spectacles
2. Jesse needs a more stable and disciplined environment
3. Jesse needs acting lessons
4. Jesse needs round-the-clock care
5. Jesse needs a knockout here

and as an added bonus, from page 2:

Jesse needs an Infidelity Counselor of his own, and not one from the Godless
heathens in the Democrat party

Hahahahahahaha funny that's the best one !!!

1) Brian needs to communicate more effectively and stop being negative.
2) Brian needs food, badly.
3) Brian needs a fix.
4) Brian needs a home.
5) Brian needs assistance.

The first one, I must say, is pretty damn true...

1) Sullivan Needs Slaves
2) Sullivan needs to do some remedial work.
3) Sullivan needs a real job.
4) Sullivan needs consistency to regain starting job.
5) Sullivan needs to be pummeled

1.justin needs to start playing smash bros. again.
Very True

2.But Justin needs to know Brian's true feelings for him before he can decide his
own future.
To quote Strong Bad "I hope Brian Is short for Brianrietta or Brian-Sue"

3.Justin needs sleepy.
And Humpy

4.Justin needs parent(s) who will encourage emotional, social, and intellectual progress within a closed classroom setting. He needs selfless parents who are skilled at channeling his frustration and even depression into activities that build feelings of security and self-worth.
Wow They hit the nail on the head.

5.Justin needs to find a way to make sales grow .
I sure do! Im broke.

1. ______ needs a really good nemesis.
2. ______ needs $$ BAD. (how true)
3. ______ needs to save others.
4. ______ needs a romantic interest right now. (also very true)
5. ______ needs some friends.

1) Waldo needs love too. I hear there's no luvin' like Troll luvin.
2) Waldo will first need to figure out what his goals of his web site will be
3) Waldo needs those to supply the power to his DJ equipment
4) Waldo needs 17 more stolen bases to become the all-time Cougar leader.

I left some out, because it was wiser.

1.) Zeke needs the names, addresses and telephone numbers (SSN's wouldn't hurt either)
2.) Zeke needs a home with a kind, benevolent leader that he can count
on and trust never to be unkind to him physically. (I hurt easily)
3.) Zeke needs all the help he can get (ain't that the truth)
4.) Zeke needs a cat (I have been kind of lonely lately)
5.) Zeke needs to build his trust in people again (Get out of my head!!!!!!)

Yeah me too some of them are so true on mine lol

Lies needs a come shot and you could buy it for a quarter cents a
peak in any porn video arcade

Lies needs a bass player

lies needs to be voted out of office

Lies needs more than Brits behaving badly

Lies Needs to take the opposite side

truly hilarious

1. Mandy needs a knight in shining armour
2. Mandy needs the human touch that only traditional animation would
give her
3. Mandy needs Toby's help to replace a dead panda bear
4. Mandy needs to slut it out more
5. Mandy needs to knee him in the groin

tried with my nick name

JO needs head, Politically Incorrect Chat. ( oook)

Everything Jo needs is located in her subconscious library

JO NEEDS 2B FUNKY

JO NEEDS SURGERY - CAN YOU HELP? (since when?)

1 - On review, the trial court found that Cecelia's needs have become even more
pronounced since the divorce judgment.

2 - Rogue gets up and tells Wolverine
that Cecelia needs their help.

3 - Cecelia needs to be a nag from now on, and get on peoples cases so that jobs get done.

4 - He did say however, 'Cecelia needs you more than me Buzz. Send the money for her son and go to Holland'.

5 - Cecelia needs help.


Interesting.

1) Ryan needs a bar mitzvah.

2) Ryan needs a tear in the space time continuim.

3) Ryan needs to call a meeting with all of the Death Row 10
attorneys.

4) Ryan needs to find a Middleastern terrorist with a nuke.

5) Ryan needs this deal with Laura Reynolds to save his sugar company.

'Michael' needs a bit more flesh.
Michael needs some Juice
All MIchael needs is to feel loved.
Michael needs neck massages
Michael needs lie-down after two days in bed

1. Fences, walls, hedges and trees.
2. Meticulous guides to really see through the haze history has left behind
3. Needs lab maintenance added, Friday afternoons
4. To talk this whole thing through
5. Doesn't need a sequel, but one would work.

Since I already did my Real name, and it seems unlikely that I'll find the phrase "PM Virgin needs" - I decided to do one for my more mainstream handle:

1.) The Runt needs little introduction as it has already provided itself as a consistent catcher of pike over the last year or so.

2.) Runt needs a blunt stat!

3.) Runt needs to be done now.

4.) Well, I still maintain that, for The duration of This exercise, Runt needs to
receive a $48/day raise at minimum.

5.) What that little Runt needs is a friend at each side of him, holding him back.
That way he can make a big show of trying to get into a fight.