Silliness

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TOPIC CLOSED
bluevalentine

bluevalentine

San Antonio, TX
December 2003

MAY 10, 2005 04:39 PM

CokeConfessional said:
Dear Eggplant Parmigiana,

I haven't seen you in far too long and I yearn for the warmth and fulfillment only you can provide.

Longingly,
CokeConfessional



Dear CokeConfessional,

I know all about you and the shiraz.

What kind of slut do you take me for?

Eggplant Parm

lilyk

lilyk

I'm lost
December 2004

MAY 10, 2005 04:40 PM

Dear the Spotless Mind,

How do you think he hypnotized them first? With his thick mannish locks and his piano key scarf atop the wall? No, with that banana hammock.

Sincerely,

It's making my eyes hurt.

pygmy

pygmy

Portland, OR
July 2004

MAY 10, 2005 04:40 PM

Dear person in the parking lot who was chatting for like 20 minutes while we were waiting for your spot, completely oblivious and/or annoyingly inconsiderate,

at least wave us by to indicate that you'll be a while. Or just pull the fuck out. Actually, too bad your dad didn't.

-pygmy McGrumperson

XPOSINGXPINUPX

XPOSINGXPINUPX

Monroe, LA
December 2004

MAY 10, 2005 04:40 PM

Dear Mallrats,


I know that I am super cool and that is why you loiter in my store all day and never buy anything. Im sure it has nothing to do with the fact that your parents dont love you and thats why they drop you off at the mall for 8 hours everyday.
But isnt there and episode of TRL or something you are missing?


p.s. tell mommy and daddy i am not their fucking baby sitter, however if they would like to pay me large sums of cash you can stand around in my store, probably shoplifting, all you want to.



your,

that cool chick from the movie store.

lylas and all that bullshit

KorbenDallas

KorbenDallas

Qatar
January 2005

MAY 10, 2005 04:41 PM

Dear doggies,

Please stop eating my food when i go refill my drink. I work hard all day, and need food to keep going.

Sincerely,
Korben

CokeConfessional

cokeconfessional

Belleville, NJ
March 2004

MAY 10, 2005 04:41 PM

Dear Friend Who Was in Town From Canada for a Week,

Thanks a lot for making an assload of plans with me, then not answering your cell phone and completely disappearing. Searching for you in New York City instead of hanging out with my friends was a blast. Really.

In Appreciation,
CokeConfessional

SovietCanada

sovietcanada

Montreal, QC
February 2005

MAY 10, 2005 04:42 PM

ChrisSick said:

sovietcanada said:

ChrisSick said:
Dear SovietCanada,

Please stop signing your posts as 'Chris'. I did it first,

and I'm older than you.

And,

no one likes Communists, anyway.

Sincerly,
A Facist




Dear Fascist,

You suck.

With Communist Greetings,
Chris



Dear Communist Scum,

Your day is coming. The revolution will not be kind.

Yours,
The Public Saftey Comminson



Dear Bigoted Capitalist Pig Dog,

You have been selected for a special work program. Please report to your nearest relocation center immediately.

With Fraternal Brotherhood,
Central Committee for De-Kulakization

CokeConfessional

cokeconfessional

Belleville, NJ
March 2004

MAY 10, 2005 04:42 PM

bluevalentine said:
Dear CokeConfessional,

I know all about you and the shiraz.

What kind of slut do you take me for?

Eggplant Parm



Dear Eggplant Parmigiana,

It meant nothing!

CC

XPOSINGXPINUPX

XPOSINGXPINUPX

Monroe, LA
December 2004

MAY 10, 2005 04:43 PM

CokeConfessional said:
Dear XPOSINGXPINUPX,

Your open letters had me laughing out loud the most. Feel free to continue with that, the kids appreciate it.

From the windows to the walls,
CokeConfessional


Dear CokeConfessional,


Dont you think we are moving a bit too fast. I mean you are rad and all but do we really need to bring the kids into this.


p.s flattery gets you everywhere in my world



butter me up,

XPXPX

ChrisSick

ChrisSick

Philadelphia, PA
March 2008

MAY 10, 2005 04:45 PM

Dear Communist Brother,

Learn to spell. Random 'z's don't make you cool.

Yours in Repression and Violence,
Facism

CokeConfessional

cokeconfessional

Belleville, NJ
March 2004

MAY 10, 2005 04:46 PM

XPOSINGXPINUPX said:
Dear CokeConfessional,


Dont you think we are moving a bit too fast. I mean you are rad and all but do we really need to bring the kids into this.


p.s flattery gets you everywhere in my world



butter me up,

XPXPX



Dear XPXPX,

I do it all for the kids.

Do you mind if I use margerine instead of butter? It's all I've got in the fridge.

Filled With Starry-Eyed Sodium,
CC

TAFKASP

TAFKASP

Oakland, CA
June 2003

MAY 10, 2005 04:47 PM

Dear Liger,

You know you love the Hasselhoff Recursion! Admit it, you nasty, nasty girl biggrin

xoxo,
TSM

p.s. thanks in part to your profile pic, i'll be sending you the dry cleaning bill for these pants.

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

MAY 10, 2005 04:49 PM

Dear Former College Roommates,

Thank you. While everyone in the world seemed to have a problem with their roommates, I had not one with any of you in four years. Thank you for not giving a fuck about what I did, and thanks for allowing me to reciprocate that insouciance. We had great conversations, wonderful times, and never felt the need to have one "talk" or "house meeting." Thanks for being sensible and elastic.

With reverence,

Pun

lilyk

lilyk

I'm lost
December 2004

MAY 10, 2005 04:49 PM

theSpotlessMind said:
Dear Liger,

You know you love the Hasselhoff Recursion! Admit it, you nasty, nasty girl biggrin

xoxo,
TSM

p.s. thanks in part to your profile pic, i'll be sending you the dry cleaning bill for these pants.



Dear Spotless,

Thanks for letting us all know that you're not so spotless anymore. I can give the name of a good cleaner in Oaktown, it will cost you only dolla fitty. wink

Thanks for the wanks,

Liger

SovietCanada

sovietcanada

Montreal, QC
February 2005

MAY 10, 2005 04:49 PM

Greetings Fascists, One, All,

Please know what you're talking about.

Yours while marching into the glorious future,
The Socialist Peoples of the World

ChrisSick

ChrisSick

Philadelphia, PA
March 2008

MAY 10, 2005 04:51 PM

socalsk1nhead said:
Dear Green Day,

When did you become so political? I like your old stuff better like the video with the mental asylum.

Sincerely,
Not wanting to listen to political rants right now



Dear Not wanting to listen to political rants right now,

Who's forcing you to?

Signed,
Listening to Kerplunk

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

MAY 10, 2005 04:51 PM

Dear English Dictionary:

If you want me to bear your name and stand as a firm proponent of your fine upstanding character, you have to stop this shit with the adding new retard-o words. I don't care how much a bunch of silly people love Harry Potter. "Muggle" is not a real English word, and should not be in the English Dictionary any more than arrivaderci or sombrero. I'm afraid that the next thing I know, I'm going to turn my back and all of a sudden brb and afk and omgrotfl will be "real English words." It's one thing to use them. It's another thing altogether to acknowledge them as words to be looked up and possibly used in essays by the kids I'll end up teaching some day. Don't give them justification. Please. For the sake of my sanity.

Forever yours, I trust,

_DictionaryGirl_

bluevalentine

bluevalentine

San Antonio, TX
December 2003

MAY 10, 2005 04:53 PM

_DictionaryGirl_ said:
Dear English Dictionary:

If you want me to bear your name and stand as a firm proponent of your fine upstanding character, you have to stop this shit with the adding new retard-o words. I don't care how much a bunch of silly people love Harry Potter. "Muggle" is not a real English word, and should not be in the English Dictionary any more than arrivaderci or sombrero. I'm afraid that the next thing I know, I'm going to turn my back and all of a sudden brb and afk and omgrotfl will be "real English words." It's one thing to use them. It's another thing altogether to acknowledge them as words to be looked up and possibly used in essays by the kids I'll end up teaching some day. Don't give them justification. Please. For the sake of my sanity.

Forever yours, I trust,

_DictionaryGirl_



Dear _DictionaryGirl_

I think we should take up a collection and get you your own OED smile

Stephanie

CokeConfessional

cokeconfessional

Belleville, NJ
March 2004

MAY 10, 2005 04:53 PM

_DictionaryGirl_ said:
Dear English Dictionary:

If you want me to bear your name and stand as a firm proponent of your fine upstanding character, you have to stop this shit with the adding new retard-o words. I don't care how much a bunch of silly people love Harry Potter. "Muggle" is not a real English word, and should not be in the English Dictionary any more than arrivaderci or sombrero. I'm afraid that the next thing I know, I'm going to turn my back and all of a sudden brb and afk and omgrotfl will be "real English words." It's one thing to use them. It's another thing altogether to acknowledge them as words to be looked up and possibly used in essays by the kids I'll end up teaching some day. Don't give them justification. Please. For the sake of my sanity.

Forever yours, I trust,

_DictionaryGirl_



Dear _DictionaryGirl_,

Thank you for saying what we were thinking.

Yours faithfully,
The Publishing Industry

ChrisSick

ChrisSick

Philadelphia, PA
March 2008

MAY 10, 2005 04:54 PM

sovietcanada said:
Greetings Fascists, One, All,

Please know what you're talking about.

Yours while marching into the glorious future,
The Socialist Peoples of the World



Dear Communists, Just You,

No,

I refuse to have any clue as to what I'm discussing.

It's part of the doctrine,

In the handbook and all.

Signed,
Ignorant Facist Bastard

khoos

khoos

HOPEFUL

Ottawa, ON

MAY 10, 2005 04:55 PM

Dear Employer,

Did you know it's illegal to have me work a 9 hour shift with no lunch break? You should have probably thought of this before you decided that only one staff member should be on during the weekends.

Yours,
Exhausted.

flowerofromance

flowerofromance

Chicago, IL
May 2005

MAY 10, 2005 04:55 PM

Dear Turkey Hill Iced Tea,

My roommate brought you home from Pennsylvania, and you are so tasty, especially the Blueberry flavor. Please come to apartment A-9 and make babies with me.

Sincerely,
The girl who is replacing alcohol with tea

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

MAY 10, 2005 04:55 PM

Dear Mamet,

Please just stop. You may love the girl, but the girl does not love you. She only pretends when her confidence is threatened. You make her feel good at those moments, so she clings to you. When she gets what she wants, she flees. You know this. Stop falling for it. You will only get your heart ripped out once again. Also note, this is supposed to be the "Silliness" forum, so keep it light, Buster.

Filled with obnoxious self-pity,

El Mamerino

[Edited on May 10, 2005 by mamet]

SovietCanada

sovietcanada

Montreal, QC
February 2005

MAY 10, 2005 04:55 PM

socalsk1nhead said:

ChrisSick said:

socalsk1nhead said:
Dear Green Day,

When did you become so political? I like your old stuff better like the video with the mental asylum.

Sincerely,
Not wanting to listen to political rants right now



Dear Not wanting to listen to political rants right now,

Who's forcing you to?

Signed,
Listening to Kerplunk



Dear Kerplunker,
Yahoo! Music is. I don't pay for Launchcast Plus, therefor I have used my 3 skips on other shitty songs. I have no choice because I'm alone in the office and bored.

Signed,
Ripping my ears off


[Edited on May 10, 2005 by socalsk1nhead]



Dear Ripping your ears off,

I find that funny. I listen to Launchcast every once in a while, and when they talk about getting as many skips as you want, I find it funny. That's because my internet or something is broken, and I get to skip as many times as I want without paying.

Yours Forever,
Laughing at You.

ChrisSick

ChrisSick

Philadelphia, PA
March 2008

MAY 10, 2005 04:56 PM

socalsk1nhead said:

ChrisSick said:

socalsk1nhead said:
Dear Green Day,

When did you become so political? I like your old stuff better like the video with the mental asylum.

Sincerely,
Not wanting to listen to political rants right now



Dear Not wanting to listen to political rants right now,

Who's forcing you to?

Signed,
Listening to Kerplunk



Dear Kerplunker,
Yahoo! Music is. I don't pay for Launchcast Plus, therefor I have used my 3 skips on other shitty songs. I have no choice because I'm alone in the office and bored.

Signed,
Ripping my ears off


[Edited on May 10, 2005 by socalsk1nhead]



Dear Ripping my ears off,

you know you can get an Ipod for like a hundred bucks,

right?

Signed,
Apple Guerilla Marketing Team

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