Dear _____,

Dear G,

You are the bestest friend ever. I miss you.
xox
bex

Dear Keira,

You suck as an actress and look like a horse. You have stolen another 3 hours of my life, wench. Give me my ten bucks back.

BP

Dear TMobile,

I have been a loyal customer of yours for 3 years. I have paid my bill every month, and I make it a point not to call and complain unless something is really a thorn in my side. You have been very good to me. My service is generally fantastic, the customer service folk I've dealt with have been nothing but wonderful to me. However, there has been a steep decline in your service as of late. My text messages to other carriers, including to other TMobile customers have been getting delayed for several hours as well as days. Every time I make an outgoing phone call there is a horrendous echo that's about a half a second delayed which makes it nearly impossible to hold a conversation. I have called o n this issue, and I'm told to restart my phone. Fantastic, you know what that does? It resets my time but it doesn't fix the problem. The delay in my text messages has increased to just about every other day. They are sent out of order, several hours late, and some times not at all! I'm very sorry, but this has gotten out of hand. Please correct the issue with whatever it is that is causing the delay, credit my account, and massage my feet. Otherwise, I will have to take my cell phone budget elsewhere.

Yours truly,
A dissatisfied paying customer.

Dear Co-Worker's Husband,

Dear Co-Worker,

Dear Little Red Haired Girl,

Have fun in CA, but miss me a lot.

Love,

Old Guy that follows you around

Dear old guy that follows me around

I will spend every second of the day missing you, just like i always do.

Love,

Little Red Haired Girl

Dear B,
Drugs make me sleepy, I'm sorry I've fallen asleep during the last 4 or so of our nightly chats. It's really sweet that you stay on until I wake up after a few minutes to say goodnight. It's even more sweet that you do that even though I snore sometimes.

-Kiwi

Dear Penis,

I'm sorry for abusing you and making you throw up all of the time.

Dear Okio,

The echo might mean something fell in your speaker.

As for the texts... if you often text one person over others, tell that person to empty their damn inbox. If it is full when you send the text, it takes a while and gets held up even after they empty their inbox.

That said I wouldn't use TMobile, because they suck. Hope you get it sorted!

Captain

Dear new guy,

i promise i won't haze you if you promise not to get me killed next deployment.

-Phaedrius

Dear Captain,

Thanks for the info, however I've gone those routes. My phone has been replaced several times because of the "echo" issue. It only happens when I'm the one making the call. It's not a big issue, as it's not like I talk on the phone often. The text message thing, well it's been determined to be a failed connection on my end. I've been told "they are working to fix it."
And TMobile may suck in your area, to each his own. But around here, they have pretty awesome service, so other than this, I have no complaints.

Thanks again!
-Okio

Dear Teeth-
What the hell?

Dear Today,
Don't suck.

Love,
Me

Dear TMobile,

Thanks for teaching Rogers Wireless how to run a cellular phone operation. When your customers decide that paying the contract cancellation charge is a sweet deal compared to your monthly "service", then you know you've made the big time.

Hope you start getting a growing number of ex customers in the very near future,

6B

Dear New Time-Consuming Healthy Hobby,

Kindly make yourself known so I can start you and get through the next 5 months.

~ M.

Dear cockblockers,

Will you please stop that shit?

- mingol

Dear TMobile,

I quit. I fucking quit. The next time you hand my phone call off to a so-called "manager," have them take out their fucking retainer first! There was no reason to be fucking snarky to me. I did nothing but explain the issue and ask what you could do to fix it. Crawling down my throat does nothing but piss me off, especially when I was only friendly to you, as I'm fully aware that it's "not [your] problem." Hey guess what, cunt. It IS your problem, you know .. since you work in CUSTOMER SERVICE.

I will be raising hell in a store tomorrow, and I will be canceling my account. Suck my balls, TMobile.

-O

Dear dude that hacked all over me yesterday while I checked your boarding pass and got your germy saliva on my face,

Yeah, you asshole. Now I'm miserably sick. I don't know what you gave me while I was running on 2 hours of sleep and my immune system had no energy to fight of your germs, but this is your fault. My supervisors tried to get me to go home from work today but I fought them off. If I'm like this tomorrow they won't hesitate to force me to leave the airport. If that happens and I lose my Sunday differential pay, I'ma be wicked fucking pissed.

This has also caused me to lose many a kiss today (minus the ones I got on my forehead from Zarth). You suck. Seriously. I hope you die (but not from whatever you gave me because that would not bode well for my healthy recovery).

~K


Dear Blue Cross Blue Shield,

What the fuck do you mean you won't pay for my blood work that the doctor ordered and that I have to pay for it myself?! Are you fucking kidding me?! I didn't ask for it to be taken. I hate needles! I still haven't even HEARD from the doctor and it was done over 3 weeks ago! Fuck you. I'm not paying. I can't afford it.

~K

Dear Kindle,

Do feel better soon love

~ M.

dear ex,
why are you giving me your number again,
i was trying to be nice when i said i didn't have it because i have a new phone
(the new phone part is true though). will u please get the hint when i still don't call you.

-c

dear person with my credit card info who tried to order a bunch of stuff online,

fuck you

-c

Dear My Body,
I understand why you hurt. Really, I do. And I am not going to try to take you all the way to the bridge and back tomorrow. But we are going to do that trip on Thursday, so rest up, stop hurting, and be ready.

-grayness

i second that, being ill stinks

Dear Girls,

Stop trying to distract me with your tits.

Thanks,
Puppies

same thing for you... take some vitamins

Dear Excel Test on Monday,

Don't be difficult. I'm not sure how much more advanced tutorials I can find, and while I'm nervous about how good I'd be at this job that I'm taking the test to qualify for, I'd really like to find out. Plus, I'd really like for the interviewer lady to keep thinking I'm amazingly smart; it's not that she's cute, or anything, but I could really do with the ego boost - I haven't had a good one in a long fucking time.

Sincerely,
D

Dear Nick,

Hope you're horny soon.

Love,
D