Dear _____,

Dear "Cuts For Cancer"

I really hope you enjoy my hair, and i hope someone loves the wig they will receive.... But i'm ready to have it back...... i may never cut my hair again.

Melia.

Ps, i now look almost 11 years old.

Dear Melia,

Your hair went to a very, very good cause. I'm proud of you for doing that. Both you and your new hairstyle are incredibly gorgeous, and I don't give empty compliments.

LB

Dear weekend,
w00t w00t!!!
that is all,
me

Dear Brooklyn,
I am so sorry sweet heart. I really do feel terrible that because this house is a complete shit-hole you get so wound up whenever I let you outside, or take you for a walk. I know that when you come up to the bed I am sleeping in with your wet nose, wide eyes and tail wagging uncontrollably you just want some attentions because you cannot go play outside right now. I will make it up to you and take you on a nice nature hike this weekend.
Love,
me

Dear Melia,
I bet that you rock the shorter hair....
Congrats on doing a fabulous thing

BRS

Dear stuck up girl at the register in Home Depot,
You are hot as hell. Nice ass, firm supple breasts and even a cute face to boot. I know your a strict right winger, won't ever change human nature. Never has never will. However stuck up you might be, doesn't really matter to me.
checking out your ass,
me

Dear sexy redheaded grocery store girl,
I adore you even though you taunt me. I will continue to purchase bland fruit and dented canned goods at the local "cheap" grocery just to get a glimpse of you, even though you are straight as a pin and purposefully hang out at whatever register I check out of. You love the attention. You love it! LOVE it! Maybe I am a glutton for punishment or maybe your just waiting for me to take you on the conveyor belt amidst the Ritz and Skippy. Either way, I love you.
Bashfully yours,
Blueink

Dear computer,

Please stop restarting while I'm in the middle ot typing a sente----
----

----

---

Dear Marc,

Um. The reason I am annoyed at you in the mornings is because you are annoying. Complaining that you don't want to get up when I haff to go to work and you kept me awake for stupid reasons (like waking me up with a glass of water tilted an inch from my face "hey Sarah want some water?" fuck no), is annoying. Using all the food in the house to make a breakfast you'll complain is heafy on your stomach is annoying. Taking foreffer to do anything is annoying. Not putting your shoes on and trying to make me late is annoying. Telling me it's impossible that I'll be late is annoying. Being in the bathroom thinking when I need to shower is annoying. Trying to cuddle me when I haff a hairbrush in my hand--annoying. Telling me I got plenty of sleep and to stop being grumpy... ARGH.

Get the picture?

lots of luff,

your fery frustrated and late lass,

Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Please, take my "v" key. I rarely uses it

giggling,
~ Marvel

Thank you I'm sure going to try and rick this ~

Dear Osmosis & Telekinesis,
I sincerely wish you were real or I at least had your the skills to utilize you to a) make me coffee while I lay in bed. b) finish painting my house because I just want this part of my remodel finished so I can move on to other projects that need to be done. c) be able to provide the pain of a good old fashioned beat down without having to actually punch you. Now that I think about it, having this skill would be super awesome because there are quite a bit of idiots out there and being able to punch them without anyone seeing it happen would really be awesome. d) i could also be able to read a shit ton more books without having to actually take the time to read them, just put the book to my forehead and valla instant absorption.
thanks,
squeezing my hands and shutting my eyes real hard trying to move my coffee cup to mah lips

Dear eferyone,

I think it is important that our language is good and balanced. What kind of a number is 26? Not a sensible one for an alphabet, I'll tell you that now. One day someone (me) is going to come along and sort out this mess once and for all.

If you want to be ready, why not rip off that key between c and b right now? C'mon, future-proof YOUR PC today!

Then I won't feel so lonely. And look--only one improfised spelling in this whole post. Who needs that letter anyway? Except people called _eronica. But hey, Feronica's not so bad, right?

luff,

the new self-appointed dictator of the English language

Dear Capt.J,

LOL

Laffing Pygg


Dear Place of employment,

No seriously, I want my paycheck NOW! Quit F'ning around. You haffe lost my paycheck "in the system" for the 3rd time now, and I'm tired of being nice about this shit! My rent is late and you are going to comp the fees. I should get a raise just for haffing to put up with this shit effery one or two months.

Ffery Angry Pygg

Dear Saturday night...
YOU SUCK!!!!! Where is the love?
Me

Dear short, potbellied guy who always wears a big cowboy hat and enormous sunglasses, even at 4:00 AM in a darkened naach bar:

Do you really not realize that your hat and shades make you look like a monumental dork?

- mingol

Dear lemmings,
Your almost there... keep running.
jas

Dear work:

FUCK OFF.

love,

Sarah

Dear work,
I am with her on this one you chincy bastards.
No love,
me

Dear old work:
It was a good two years, nine months, and ten days. In a good many ways I will miss you. However, in many others, not so much
Sincerely,
grayness

Dear new work:
Let's kick some butt!

grayness

dear grayness.

thanks for a good chat, maybe one day i will see you in SA.
congrats with the new job,you rule.

lovies,
G17

Dear G17,
Thank you very much. This is yet another thing that makes my day.

And if I hadn't had a reason to visit SA, I certainly do now.
Best regards,
grayness

hey, i need to go. ill be back on monday. be good until then!

Dear %u30D1%u30D1%uFF0B%u30DE%u30DE%uFF0B%u3053%u3053%u306E%u304A%u53CB%u9054
%u65E5%u672C%u306F%u5730%u7344%u3067%u3059%u3002%u4ECA%u307E%u3067%u3042%u308A%u304C%u3068%u3046%u3002
%u3053%u3053%u306E%u307F%u3093%u306A%u304C%u5927%u597D%u304D%u3067%u3059%u3002%u3042%u308A%u304C%u3068%u3046%u3002
%u305A%u3063%u3068%u307F%u3093%u306A%u306E%u3053%u3068%u304C%u5927%u597D%u304D%u3067%u3059%u3002
Rokko

dear florida,

why must you suck right now? can you please let us have decent jobs? i'm about to have no money and i REALLY don't wanna have to ask my parents to help me out.

stressed and unhappy, stephy.

Dear area manager,

You're a snotty little bitch. I bet you never did my job, nor even Christine's; I bet you just did a degree in one of those subjects so average I bet even you struggle to remember what you took, and then fell into a high up management job you didn't really know how to do. Then you swan into our cafe, tell us we need to get more done with less staff, bitch about my (fantastic, actually) manager, and then go away and forget all about it. Now let's get this straight: we work our fucking nuts off to keep that cafe going. Don't tell me to pick receipts up off the floor; ask anyone, they'll have seen me upsidedown picking things up from under the table, clumping my head and scraping my knuckles, just to make it a bit tidier. Don't tell me to take out the lowest number order first; I KNOW that's been there the longest, I worked that one out within half an hour of doing the job and I've been there six months now. Don't say Christine did the rota wrong when you stole the tray service staff to clean things. I could have done that--give me a list and I'll get it done over a week, and not use up all the staff at once doing it. Don't gloat about how you cleaned the dishwasher--you have a LOT more time to spend on the dishwasher than we do. We do our best to get it clean in the time allotted. And don't leave me on my own on tray service, then direct staff to be right on the floor in my way and leave bottle and stools and shit in my way so I nearly trip over, it's just fucking rude.

Let's just be clear: I work a lot harder than you for a lot less money, and on every day except today I do it with less attitude than you. I know what I'm doing, better than you actually, based on something you did today but I can't remember. When I leave the room people don't sigh with relief then start bitching, pretty much guaranteed.

So basically... you suck. I hope you fall in a ditch.

love,

Sarah, who you will remember because you patronisingly use people's names but have to peer at their name badge first to work out what it is, just so you can talk down to them