Tommy's Lucille Bogan Love Thread

In honor of the triumphant return of everybody's favorite hoopin' Aussie, I'm dedicating a thread to her role model, Lucille Bogan.
Lyrics:

She's not my role model! I just happened to be listening to the blues one night!

Don't lie. You told me you can't resist a woman with nipples on her titties as big as the end of her thumb, and you want to be just like her when you grow up.

This thread failed Greaser. It failed big time.

Dinah says,"Hey Lucille. Anybody seen my daddy with his big long slidin' thing?"

Rumor has it a person's thumb is the same length as his/her nose. Not sure how this applies or relates to nipples, but there you go.

Give it time. It's a slow bloomer.

Bahahaha!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I did

Dinah Washington also has a song called "Lick it Before You Stick it". I honestly thought she may have been referring to postage stamps.

velvet_petal said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Rumor has it that 93.8% of you put your thumb up to your nose to check, and the 1st rumor may not be true but it was entirely worth saying knowing that is what y'all are probably doing right now.

Not me. I know my thumb is longer than my nose.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Okay, Tommy, now the thread is dead

Th0mps0n said:
Bahahaha!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I did

Dinah Washington also has a song called "Lick it Before You Stick it". I honestly thought she may have been referring to postage stamps.

I hereby revoke your membership in the ubersexualpervie club until such time as you can demonstrate that the first thought that pops into your head is a pervy one, given that the situation can be interpreted in a pervy way.

Shame about the shoes. Just remember to lick it before you stick it.


I may or may not be talking about postage stamps.

And what nose/penis rumour?

Greaser said:

Th0mps0n said:
Bahahaha!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I did

Dinah Washington also has a song called "Lick it Before You Stick it". I honestly thought she may have been referring to postage stamps.

I hereby revoke your membership in the ubersexualpervie club until such time as you can demonstrate that the first thought that pops into your head is a pervy one, given that the situation can be interpreted in a pervy way.

It's called thinking outside the box! Quite literally! (And I'm back in.)

^Okay, you're back in, but you're on probation.

This one. They say hand size is also rumored to predict penis size, but for me it only works with my nose and feet.

*cue in old song about penis size*

I want there to be an actual song. Where is it?

Ideally it would be a Schoolhouse Rock sort of a song.

How about shoes & mules instead?

I can hear Johnny Cochran in my head...

Given that Greaser has related shoes to his penis, I think it's perfect

I was going to correct you and say I had related my feet to my penis, not shoes, but that somehow sounds worse.

I kinda dig that George. Good stuff.

You know what's wrong with music today? Not enough butter churning euphemisms, that's what.

Here's one I'm working on. I call it Unidentifiable Root Vegetable Song.

Got an unidentified root vegetable fillin' my refrigerator drawers.
Don't know how it got there. Never seen that thang before.
Went to get it out. Got a real good hold.
Then it yelled, "Oh mama, let's get Handy like they do in Muscle Shoals!"

I'm just a big bad root vegetable. Just a livin' in your drawers.
I say squeeze me little lady 'til I be drippin' on your floors.

I can actually hear the music in my head, with Miss Petal singing like Howlin' Wolf.

I'd buy the song, but it had better be on a 78rpm with plenty of scratches.