Have you ever been in love with a Sofa?

A sofa whose back is slightly arched, whose arms are open wide, whose sole purpose is to receive and enfold you? A sofa whose perky love pillows are cast casually between its arms, just asking to be grabbed, squeezed and nuzzled? Oh yes, you release a soft moan of pleasure as you slip your fingers, or your entire hand, between its creases. You pause to admire the silky smoothness of its upholstery, which invites you to caress, to rub it until the sparks jump between your hand and its sinuous surface (especially during cold weather). Have you ever known a sofa to which you could give your all, and which could take everything you had to give?

No, but I fucked a futon I was mildly fond of.

I gave an armchair a hand job.

Is that even possible?!!

Does a passionate affair with a daybed count?

I kissed a bench and I liked it,

I hope my sofa don't mind it.

No, but I humped on my love seat.

For a time, I did love a couch so completely even though I knew it could never be mine.


My shrink said that I was repressed in my psychosexual development and simply projecting. He also told me to leave his couch alone because the other patients were complaining.

I'll never forget my first couch.

I heard it moved to Toronto, has a family now.

...if liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.

I remember your first couch quite vividly. She had some big, soft cushions.

What he's doing to that couch is a hate crime.

It's foreplay.

Valid point

No sofas, but I once had my heart broken by the Inflatable Love Lounger.
It holds up to three hundred pounds and will rape your butt.

Just because I humped a sofa doesn't mean I loved it.


But I have loved a sofa, yes.

i think i might want one of those but not for my butt lol

I was thinking the same thing.

I love my couch.


I am not IN LOVE with my couch.

Okay, but don't come crying to me when the Inflatable Love Lounger rapes your butt. Because it will rape your butt.

Well, i might have to take that chance
besides i need practice lol

Listen, and understand. That Inflatable Love Lounger is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are raped in the butt.

Had a bit of a tuffet with benefits thing going for a while there but then gave up curds.

Tuffet with benefits? You mean you had your whey with the curds?

I had a fling with many an Ottoman in my day.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

thefreak said:
I had a fling with many an Ottoman in my day.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Sounds empir-ic