fake sex secrets

I'm never had a "Belgian Auto Club."

I run a donkey show in my spare time.

This is a LIES thread, sweetie.

i only want sex so we can "cuddle" afterwards

I'm into the tantric no touching sex. Eventually I reach a mind bending orgasm. Unfortunately my last partner reached spontaneous combustion instead of orgasm.. R.I.P. Brittany Murphy.

Brittany Murphy...?... she told me she was just going out for milk...!...

I've never been nude outdoors...

Statistics show that out of a grouping of 1 man and 1 women at least one of them will like penis.



Fuck it, wrong thread but I got a migraine so consider yourselves learned I guess.

I was born with two cocks, one is bigger than the other, the only issue I have is when I want to pee, I never know which one needs to go. 50/50 chance of peeing myself. LOL

I've never set up a clever system of towels and sheets on my balcony so I could masturbate, nude, outside in the sun.

I've never masturbated on my knees in my bed

Please do not ask me to get on top. I hate being looked at or interacted with at all during sex. I hate being choked/spanked. Masochism confuses me.

I LOVE when a guy only last 5mins!!!!

Its so damn sexy when a chic farts during happy time