Men so hot you'll need mittens

I just jizzed in my pants.

ahh, skeet skeet skeet.

Oh yeah, but I'd like to get to know you...



and you know who you are.

I just jizzed in your pants too. Sorry about that.

Whooo I'm checking out the awesome pants!!

I'll jizz green gravy all over your belted knit sweater if you don't behave yourself.

In all the time you've known me, what makes you think I would ever behave myself under any circumstances?

*applies Scotchguard to belted knit sweater*

What, now you're taping yourself down so everyone can jizz on you easier?

That's Scotch tape. Scotchguard sprays onto fabrics and makes them stain resistant. It shall deflect your green gravy jizz.

Hahahaha

I'm pretty sure you said Scotch tape.

Tell Jesus he still owes me a COKE!

" All in good time son, all in good time... "

Thats what he told me about the $100 I loaned him!

He wants me to tell you he has not forgotten about this either. He NEVER forgets. He loves you and can only ask for your patience and virtue while his paycheck is cleared.

Oh, now he want to talk to me? Where was he when my enemies need smiting, I ask you?

Spending his hard earned paycheck on coke and hookers. He has a problem, you see. He's in here with me for a reason.

My favorite Simpsons joke of all time is from the Treehouse of Horror episode with "The Shinning". Willie gets axed in the back and bleeds out all over the carpet, to which Marge says "Hmmmm... I hope that rug was Scotchguarded."

Yeah, because he thinks he's Jesus. You know that guy is really a used car salesman named Bruce, right?

Yes, that was a great joke, and a great episode

At least he's not wearing Scotchguard belted knit sweaters and perming his pubes.

You know you dig it, chicky.