Why weren't you raptured?

Lust in your heart? Coveting thy neighbor's goods too much? Or can you just not keep your hands off your junk?

Because I am not a Christian. I am, in fact, a Pagan.

I'm kind of a glutton.

And I'm a dirty dirty whore.

It turns out I love dirty, dirty whores.

Oh, please. I bet you shower at least once a day.

Because someone has to stay behind to shoot the zombies and that someone is me

I have bladed and bludgeoning weapons, because you don't have to reload those.

I SAID that someone is me!

I'm a pagan. . .

because the macho man intervened and stopped it from happening...



the madness saved us all one last time...

i posses to much power....they wouldn't dare challenge me to a thumbwrestle, i would kick there ass

You know, i always wondered how well he could see outta those glasses. I need to start working out intensively so i can be Macho Man for Halloween.

Because I am an Atheist.

'cuz I'm naked on the internet

'cause i wanted to stick around and look at Phacet naked a few more times!

My mom said if I got tattoos I wouldn't be able to talk to God. Turns out that means I also can't RSVP for rapturedom.

I was too busy having sex.
Also I'm naked on the internet.
Furthermore I'm bisexual and poly.
In addition to being an atheist.

Raptured or Raptored? Cuz I was mauled to death by raptors earlier. If that counts.

you atheists are no fun.

I think God took a peek from the clouds, saw the people that were actually qualified to be raptured, and said "NAAAH!"

Hi.

Oh yeah, I'm naked on the interwebz too.

and all lustful and stuff

Don't blame me. Blame the years I spent in Catholic school.

Oh, yeah. I'm also divorced, living with my gf in sin, and lustful. And covetting my soon-to-be-neighbour's ass. Mmmm-giggity.