Favorite Happy Madison Quote

I'm cheating.

Bobby: "Seein'? Uh, uh, I see a lot of girls. I see a lot of giys too."
Rita: "I think that's sexy. You ever been with a guy and a girl at the same time?"
Bobby: "Oh, yeah, plenty of times. The other night, I was with my mama and Coach Klein at the same time."

Your nuts are frozen to the porch. Oh, that sucks!

"Y'see Bobby, you ain't got what they call 'the social skills', which is why nobody likes you, 'cept fo yo momma."

Coach Klein: Gatorade not only quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too.
Bobby Boucher: No, you people are drinkin the wrong water.
Coach Klein: Gatorade.
Bobby Boucher: H2O.
Coach Klein: Gatorade.
Bobby Boucher: H2O.
Coach Klein: [singing] Water sucks. It really, really sucks. Water sucks.

and Def Leppard sucks!

"I was petting my walrus this morning and thinking of you"

This gem was left on my FB wall the other night.

I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
....no.

YOU'RE A HOOKER!

Your gonna die clown!!!

IT'S NUDIE MAGAZINE DAY!!

The price is wrong bitch

"Can I prance around with my morning erection?" - Davey

"Dude, jerking off on my mom is one thing. But banging your grandmother and her roommates? That's like... legendary. " - Jeff

"Play my head monkey!"

I actually say this to my son all the time. He likes to hit me in the head and laugh.

"Ok... so who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era? Yeah, put your hands up for that one. This chick's pussy smelled like the Great Depression."