Advice on not feeling well

Dear SG and Intrawebs.

So Ive been having some weird symptoms lately, I seem to be gaining weight and loosing muscle definition this started around Christmas time. I've been eating well, lots of fresh baking and gravy etc. And I haven't been straining my body with any exercise or even un-needed movement. I also seem to be tired often, but I spend most of the time laying down on the couch or even the floor if I slide off. Sometimes I'll rest like this until 3 or 4 in the morning watching old movies or just staring at the computer.
Oh, and one other thing I seem to get recurring headaches and sometimes nausea in the mornings if I drink rum until I go to sleep on the floor. These symptoms go away if I add alot of Baileys and/or rum to my coffee.
So any thoughts? Should I see a doctor about the headaches and weight gain? is this weird?
what gets puke out of the carpet best without the energy waste of scrubbing?

Please help.
Confused in Canada.

you're probably possessed. see a priest.

Sounds like your Patient Zero, your the start of the Zombie Apocalypse.

you're* you're*
<3

You make even be a possessed zombie.

sheeeeit. That sucks. All my life I've dreamed of dispatching hordes of ravenous zombies with extreme prejudice. Well I guess I could start with myself but so feel so lazy.... meh, I'll do it tomorow.

I may be just taking a shot in the dark, but I believe you have sofalchoseditarianism.

The symptoms of this disease can vary from person to person and often consist of having uncontrollable cravings for alcohol, an over active apetite and a need to view moving colored pictures.

If you have any of these symptoms please report to your local pub for counciling right away.

im sick leave me alone

tl;dr


I think I'm also getting sick.

stay away from my braiiiiiiiins.

haha i know. which is why that ended with a heart instead of an animation of someone getting shot. xD

The OP has been having happy holidays.

This thread has gone to the zombies.

Lol...

*cocks shotgun*
Let's go.

I've been waiting my whole life for this moment!

looks like ill finally have a use for my chainsaw!

hmmm or werewolves, you may experience rapid hair growth in the next 24hr's
you may end up like this

God Bless you PaulNikon

give me some sugar baby!

The Lord loves a working man, don't trust whitey, see a doctor and get rid of it.

I love you

I may be able to send more money soon: as I'm expecting extra work; my friend, Patty, promised me a blow job.