The Buttered Cat Paradox

...may be stated as follows:

Given: Cats always land on their feet.
Given: Buttered toast always lands buttered side down.

Therefore: What would happen if one attached a piece of buttered toast (butter side up) to the back of a cat, then dropped the cat from a height of 1 meter?

Discuss...

Mmm buttered pussy.

Pussy overrules toast every day of the week...

Your eyes being scratched out and cat sitting in the corner eating butter toast, snickering to it's self.

How you doin'?

I KNEW it!

yeah

Surely you meant "accusingly meowing at you".

U.S. dependence on foreign oil = solved? ^^^

It's F'n SCIENCE!!

I received this answer from one of alien sheep's apparent homies:

The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat can not smash its furry back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall.
That's right you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get), you have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.
Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this principle to drive their ships while within a planetary system. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred tabbies.
The one obvious danger is, of course, if the cats manage to eat the bread off their backs they will instantly plummet. Of course the cats will land on their feet, but this usually doesn't do them much good, since right after they make their graceful landing several tons of red- hot starship and ticked off aliens crash on top of them.

I want to put all of these theories to the test but all I have is buttered muffins.

I've actually shot down spacecraft by shooting butter onto the dry side of the toast.

Oh yeah? Well me and the girls once toilet papered someone's space elevator.

Didn't the US Air Force, in conjunction with Jackie Gleason, conduct a series of secret anti-gravity cat experiments throughout the '50s?

Either way, Nostradamus predicted it would come to this.

That was you?!

That sounds familiar, except I thought it was Buddy Hackett.

That was my space elevator, and it wasn't remotely funny. I'm still picking cellulose bits off my nanotubes.

There seems to be some confusion here. How many space elevators did you toilette paper, Velvet?

Ummm guys...

That guy's an idiot. First the cat to buttered toast ratio is all wrong. Second, the toast has to be attached to the belly are preferably the paws of the cat with the butter side facing up. Third, you can't have a big ass tie in the way covering up all the butter!

She also got peanut butter in my warp drive. ...you know the rest.

Pics or it didn't happen.