Usefull but false information

If you catch a congressman you can make him grant you three wishes in exchange for his freedom.

I am not a witch.

President Barack Obama voted for Ross Perot.

Men wearing kilts have a higher testosterone count then men who don't.

Amish people make the best Death Metal.

Car batteries are filled with many, many AA batteries. You can save money by buying them in bulk like this and prying them open while they're on their side.

Janitors aren't really human, they are drone alien clones developed to slowly poison the human populace with chemicals and pollute the water supply.

I'm going to have to call shenanigans on this being on this thread

When a rattlesnake shakes it's tail that means that it is happy and wants to play. Think of them like the puppies of the reptile world.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

"Usefull" really is spelled with two Ls.

Yeah I think this is actually probably perhaps maybe might be true.

Well something had to be false in the title.. duh.

Also this "It's "O'Neill," with two L's. There's another Colonel O'Neil with only one L, and he has no sense of humor at all."

My shit does not smell.

Everything in the SG shop is made of people.

19 is the highest hand total in Cribbage.

Cool poster...(Srsly)

This very statement is false.

The checks in the mail

Silliness is filmed before a live studio audience.

I gave at the office.

Smoking crystal meth is a perfectly healthy and safe weight loss alternative.

The next time you are filing your taxes on your computer, enter the following code on the IRS home page: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, shift, enter.

This will give you an extra life that you can then claim as a dependent.