Corbin Bernsen vs. bruce Boxleitner

*So long as it's not that vile voice over guy from Wendy's talking about some guy cramming his round pie hole with a big fat f'ing square burrrrrrgerrrrr (then zooming in for a close up of his greasy lips gorging on meat) I'm marginally happy.*

In a world of drugs and crime, one man stood up to evil.

"DAMNIT, TAFFIN! This isn't your personal war!"
"It is now."

And that man is... TAFFIN.

"Tell 'em, Taffin's in town." *gunshot*

He plays by his own rules...

"Why do they call you Taffin?"
"Well, I guess you'll never know" *gunshot*

...and always remembers to take out the garbage on time.

*body gets dumped*

"You know, Taffin, in the movies, heroes like you die in at the end of the picture..."
"Not the movies I watch..." *punch*

Pierce Brosnan is...

*Brosnan jumping out of a plane holding a shotgun*

"AAHHHHHHHH!!!"

TAFFIN