ANY QUOTE FROM ANY SHOW

Lead Shaman: Kirk is not to be trusted in these matters. Kirk is a violent and sexually deranged being from the fourth dimension.

Saboo: Kirk, is it true that you are still an erotic adventurer of the most deranged kind?

Kirk: Yes.

Don't mention this to Franklin.
Okay, but it's going to cost you.
It cost something to say nothing to somebody? What does it cost to say nothing to nobody?
You couldn't afford it.

And now for something completely different.

How will this end?
In Fire.

...in a fez.

"I'm not saying what I'm saying. I'm not saying what I'm *thinking*. For that matter, I'm not even *thinking* what I'm thinking."

I know what we're gonna do today.

Why am I here?
You have ALWAYS been here.

You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup.

You guys seem a lot cooler today- usually you guys wear clothes from the 70's.
They're not from the 70's, they're from New Zealand.
Isn't that the same thing?
Similar I suppose.

"Mr. Ford, live via satellite. American voters, what do they want?"
"Really, all 'merkins want is a cold beer, a warm pussy, and someplace to take a shit wif a door on it."

I have to admit, I'm a little bit skeptical about that.
Skepticism is the language of the mind. What does your heart tell you?
My heart and I don't speak anymore.
So I've noticed.

Behind this mask there is more than just flesh... behind this mask is an idea, and ideas are bulletproof.

I want to die like my uncle, peacefully in my sleep. Not screaming like the people in the bus he was driving.

"I hate my life."
"So do I."
"Shut up!"

"Damn it! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects, and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey"

"Fuck no snake"

God...damnit.

The quiet ones change the universe. The loud ones only take the credit.

When I was a child, my father would take me with him to temple. He carried me on his shoulder, so that I could see everything! One day, I came outside with him to go to temple, and he said, 'I'm sorry, Delenn, but you are too big now for me to carry you.' I realized then, my father would never again carry me in his arms. I felt such loss! And I knew for the first time that someday I would lose him. Then I looked in his eyes, and I saw that he was thinking the same thing. I don't think I ever loved him more than at that moment!

You used me! They could have KILLED me!
Nonsense!
...
You're not important enough to kill!

IT'S SODOM AND GOMORRAH!!

SHUT YOUR NOISE TUBE, TACO HUMAN!

You guys got somethin' to say to me? Why don't you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mic right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working and guess what? They don't like no feedback, what's up?

"Don't taze me, bro!"