Adventure time: Kittie in the kiosk

So...

I work at a cell phone kiosk in one of those giant stores that sell shit in bulk that no one needs to have that much of unless they own a restaurant. You know, where you have to have a little membership card to get in. Yeah, it's a terrible job. So I'm going to use this thread to tell all you lovely people about my wonderful and exciting days at work. Most of the time I will be sharing while I'm actually at work. Sometimes I'll post some pictures once I get home; I like to snap pictures of the interesting folks that come in the door.

A little bit of background :
The customer base for this location are local yuppy douchebags and redneck old people from the boonies. The first group wants nothing to do with what I sell because none of it is the super new fancy stuff. The second pretty much wants nothing to do with technology in general. My company would like me to sell mostly new lines of service, and less renewals. The problem with that is that 90 % of people that come in have the same carrier. All of their friends and family also have that carrier, so no one wants to switch to something else. So that means I mostly sell upgrades at 5 bucks a pop for me. Have I mentioned that since I'm working for a third party I can't offer the credit on the phone that the corporate location can? Yeah, that's fun to explain.

As a result to all the bullshit red tape and general disinterest of the customers to talk to me, I spend most of my day observing people that walk by and playing on my phone. Why not try to engage the customers you ask? Because those 5 dollars aren't worth it to me to be annoying people that will just be rude back to me. I'm not a people person and the people that actually buy shit are the ones that walk right up to you.

So anyway, I will probably be updating this thread every 20 minutes during work, so stop by and laugh at my hell.

The word of the day is lovehandles. Yes, sometimes they are unavoidable. But please, please stop giving yourself the muffintop with those pants that are 2 sizes to small. And guys, ladies aren't the only ones with this going on. If your belt is digging in, its too tight.

Im sorry that its like that always wondered what people in those little kiosks did well now I know

Old guys with cheap toupees:

Your rug looks like shit. You look like one of those ken dolls that had the hair that came gelled back, but just ended up getting all messed up after a few months. Your hair looks plastic. If you refuse to accept that you're bald, please find someone to cut the weird scraggley neck pieces that stick out. Kthx.

Aww, I had to watch a guy in one of my classes give a presentation, and he had such terrible lovehandles hanging over the sides of his pants...it was awful.

I am eagerly awaiting your next update Kittie

Awh, Sam's Club or Costco?
My parents love to go to those stores.

Of course you lose a bar on the battery when you fucking talk on the phone!!!! Go buy the damn extended battery if you're going to use the fucking thing all day!!! OF COURSE you come and the day AFTER your 30 days is up when its me working and not my stupid boss that sold you the stupid phone in the first place! And of course you don't have any of the shit with it to exchange it, why would you?

i can see this thread blossoming into a lovely cloud of nuclear holocaust.......more please

One of the good things about the job are the people that work for the store. Many of them are nice and fairly interesting characters. Bob, for example, is the security guy. He walks around all day pushing his cart, watching for people stealing. It's very exciting when someone does. Bob is an older middle aged man who blends into the crowd very well. I like Bob, he calls me señorita.

Now the lady that is switching out her phone, I'm going to call her eyebrows lady. she's middle aged with dark brows and frizzy grey hair. Eyebrows lady is always a pain in my ass. She's one of those customers who you just want to tell them not to talk to you anymore. Lucky for her management is switching stuff out for her. If it was up to me I'd tell her to go fuck herself, but I guess that's why I shouldn't be trusted with power.

i've got a perfect place to leave bodies

FYI: it's not cute when you tell me to 'do some work'. Are you going to buy something to replace that piece of shit razor that you still think is a 'cool phone'? No, I didn't think so, so shut the fuck up. On a related note 'are you working hard or hardly working' has never been and never will be funny.

I agree with every part of this post

Dear 13 year old girls,

Stop dressing like you're a member of the pussycat dolls.

Signed,
everyone who's not a pedophile

when people ask me if im "working hard or hardly working" i imagine steven hawking doing a meow mix commercial or a midget running in circles (the knees don't bend) and i laugh hysterically

make me laugh Stevie

I've had 4 phones calls today of people asking if we take payments for tmobile. I'm beginning to think that there is a tmobile customer service rep who hates me.

I need to start keeping track of how many people from high school I see daily. Its pathetic, I need to move out of this town.

The worst part is that most of them actually think they're hilarious. They give you that shit eating grin with that look of expectation, waiting for you laugh at their witty comment.

Witty and original. I usually just look at them and ask "Think that one up all on your own did ya?".

I get a lot of old guys who say things to me that apparently are supposed to be funny, but since I don't speak crazy old man, I don't know what they're trying to joke about. Its always something like 'good thing there's not any airplanes in here honey'

Honestly that makes no sense

My point exactly. That's a ficticious example of nonsensical old man speak. But close enough to things I've actually heard.