Would you ever...?

Only if I had a death wish.

...get drunk enough to start talking to a chair?

I can talk to a chair if I am not drunk. Why must you be so picky?

... participate in a pie eating contest?

shit yes! infact, i demand someone organise a pie-eating contest

take part in a medical trial?

Depends on what for.....


Streak?

no


fake your own death?

Only to infiltrate the lair of the evil Shogun so I could destroy him!


Ride a pogo stick?

Fuck yeah, pogo sticks are fun.

... walk around the streets throwing water balloons at random people?

I woke up with my Boa in bed with me once. I kinda threw him.....


Kiss a snake?

I have, but how high do you mean?

... go on a cross country road trip?

if it was cooked and marinated with some tasty sauce... maybe.

actually choke a bitch?

Depends on the five w's.

... become a stripper?

already am...

fuck ben stiller?

closest thing to stripper that i would ever consider taking up would be a burlesque performer

make a legitimate video dating profile (a la pretty much everything on the last couple of pages in "cooking by the book")?

i wouldn't fuck ben stiller, but i'd kick him in the fucking head

no...

fuck Bill Nye the Science Guy if he was a zombie?

Um, what does him being a zombie have to do with anything? Are zombies better in the sack because I like warmth myself? So probably not?

... buy this sweet Lady a rose?

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

and then some


uppercut an old lady?

What did she do? I would watch it on youtube over and over.

Fill someone's cabinets with fish?

I really, really want to but cannot afford it.

Punch a shark?

I actually have... they were veeeery small

and fuck yes I would punch a shark

Punch Richard Dreyfus?