NEWS: Santacon 2008

GEEK: Santacon 2008

This time of year, if you're in the western world, you're gonna see a certain red dressed someone hanging around the malls getting his photo taken with children and pets, or maybe outside grocery stores ringing a bell. But you don't often see this jolly fellow hanging around bars and strips clubs — unless you happen across Santacon.

Santacon is the pranksters response to Christmas, with a focus on lighthearted jolly obnoxiousness. It's been happening in various cities around the globe since the Cacophony Society first stepped out en mass in 1994. This past weekend, I joined the red tide in Los Angeles, where Santas met up in Echo Park on a beautiful Saturday morning. It was a picturesque day — typical Los Angeles, 70 degrees and balmy with a breeze — did I mention it was December? A wedding party was taking advantage of the weather, having their wedding photos taken in the park as the Santacon Santas gathered. Next thing we knew, Santas, tuxes and a turquoise wedding party were mugging for a sea of cameras. Who could pass up a photo op with 300 Santas?

Then the Midnight Ridazz, a cacophonous bicycle gang known for their late night bicycle rides, arrived in the park singing bawdy carols from megaphones on a myriad of tall bikes, tandems and variously altered street bikes. A few moments later 300 Santas marched around the lake and got into five school busses — their destination was unknown.

The secrecy of the route is a tradition. It goes back to the original Atomic Cafes from early San Francisco Cacophony days, where a group of 30 to 50 participants would pile into the back of a panel truck to be dropped off at secret undisclosed (and often abandoned urban building) location. Part of the fun is not knowing where you're going, what might happen, and the element of surprise for both participants and the locals.

Santa's first stop was Sunset Junction, where we took over a liquor store and stopped traffic — while drivers and locals honked and hollered. The motley assemblage of Santas eventually ended up at two local bars: the Moroccan styled 4100 Club and El Cid.

A packed bar takes on an entire new meaning when it's packed with Santas. At some point in Silverlake, a car full of clowns in full fluorescent make-up with protest signs bearing messages such as "Fuck Santa!", "Make Joy, Not Toys", and "Santa's Conform (boring)" showed up to give Santa a hard time, although there was supposedly a Santa/clown truce back in 2002.

Once the Santas were sufficiently jolly, a sleigh full of snow appeared just as L.A. gave us one of those typical sunsets and the sky was filled with white balls. It was Santa vs. Santa's Elf and Clown vs. Santa. Every Santa for himself. Complete snowball mayhem.

Next, Santas ran for the buses — it was time for our next stop — Hollywood. Make this picture in your mind's eye: five busses with waving Santa hands and arms surrounded by 50 bicyclists in a variety of holiday attire driving up Sunset Boulevard. You won't see that picture in a movie. That's real life.

Santa arrived at Hollywood & Highland just in time for the tree lighting ceremony. The local security was not particularly welcoming to the Santa massive, so many hung out on the sidewalk with the superheroes, singing carols and dancing with the musicians.

This is where this Santa's memory starts to fade and unravel. Six hours of drinking had taken a toll on my reality and there was a sea of red as I walked down Hollywood Blvd. to the next rendezvous point. I know we stopped by Jumbo's Clown Room (strip clubs are a Santacon tradition) but I can't remember the spectacle of the strip club crammed with cheap merrymakers drinking from their own flasks. I made it to the afterparty at BootieLA — which I heard looked like a rave of Santas. And I found myself the next morning wrapped in my red Santa suit, covered with bruises. Yup, It was your typical Santacon.

Santa's Favorite Naughty Carols

* Deck my Balls
* Walking Round in Women's Underwear
* Sinful Wonderland
* Oh Horny Night
* Come All Ye Faithless

Images courtesy of Ilainie, Creative Commons licensed.

Heathervescent is a writer, technology consultant and agent of
cacophony. You can read more of her adventures at: www.heathervescent.com.

I like her snowflake necklace!

I had to scroll back up.

What necklace?

Hahahahaha!!!





I wanted to do it this Saturday, but weather is going to be brutal. Booo.

Whaaa? You didn't notice her necklace the first time around? I mean, a girl always notices the jewels between the headlights.

Santacon is happening in pasadena, san francisco, santa barbara and other places this weekend. check out www.santarchy.com to find one near you.

If it's too cold outside, I find a bottle of scotch always warms me up jus fine....

just saying...

Nah, I saw her eyes and then her boobies. Nothing in between. I do like sparkly things, but must've been totally distracted.

I know they have it in NYC too. I was sad that I missed out on Zombiecon this year.

I was hoping for mild weather. It's not as cute and fun to be walking around en masse with your coat on y'know?

Mmmm...gimme some Blue Label and fosho will be fine.

I go for Talisker meself.

And yeah, that picture doesn't have anything that would distract anyone. lol.

Talisker. I may need to try that.

Great, now I want that necklace. Wouldn't mind the boobs either. Hey-o!

I just heard Santa approves of the comments for this post!

I definitely got a few ideas for this weekend.

I just heard Santa doesn't exist.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL. Funny guy. You obviously did not see the 350 drunk Santas this past weekend which was the whole point of this article.

Anyone can be Santa. You just need a furry red suit!

If anyone can be Santa, then George W. Bush can be Santa.