everything i know i learned from tv

post here what youve learned from tv

that a rat farm in the basement will never work

Played out but: That doughy, off-putting, marginally funny, 5 males marry fit, agreeable, witty 8 females. Always.

It's like your life.

I'm not you, silly.

you can barely work and afford really nice apartments

Otters will play a big part in the future of the universe.

And if you electrocute yourself in a tub of water, you'll be transported back to colonial times. Sweeet.

Don't wiz on the electric fence

Small white mice in labs may take over the world, poorly.

Poor bedside manner and shady decisions make you the best ever!!

Aliens are fun as house guests, although their taste for feline may cause hysterical antics!

Gay men get all the chicks.

You may not know it but even YOU may have a villain plotting your destruction!

A three hour tour may result in 3 seasons of hilarity.

Anyone ugly in high school will be glamourous as an adult.

Anyone hot and popular in high school will end up scabby and living in a trailer.

Fair and balanced means lying through your teeth.

Your pets can talk, your just not listening!

Cars talk too.

Sooner or later Mr. T or some other random celebrity, will walk randomly into your life.

Knowing is half the battle.

"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."
--Homer (the Springfieldian poet, not the Greek one)

You can make something AWESOME from various bits of JUNK!

It doesn't matter how hot a girl is, if she wears glasses she is both a genius and is shunned by her high school peers.

What have I really learned from TV? That you can put a bunch of complete idiots with no acting credentials, put them in any situation, and as long as the girls show cleavage and everybody has to eat something odd on a weekly basis, the whole world will watch.