My Attorney Oscar Zeta Acosta - Acosta was born in El Paso, Texas, and raised in a small San Joaquin Valley rural town named Riverbank near Modesto, California. Acosta's father was drafted during World War II, so he had to take care of the family. At times, Acosta felt like an outsider and he presented his feelings of alienation, mistrust, and dislocation in his works.
After finishing high school, Acosta joined the U.S. Air Force. He then worked his way through college, becoming the first member of his family to do so. He attended night classes at San Francisco Law School and passed the California Bar exam in 1966 on his second try. In 1967, Acosta began working as an antipoverty attorney for the East Oakland Legal Aid Society in Oakland, California.
Bought a Greyhound ticket to nowhere and wound up in Oxnard where he raises albino hamsters for use in unspeakable sexual acts. Loves to bake Apple Pies with too much cinnamon.
His balls itched. He used a Popsicle stick his mom had given him when he was 5. it was the only item he had rescued from the fire that took both of his parents away. As he realized that he was using his precious item to scratch his sack, he felt sick to his stomach. He broke down and cried like a little girl. "Why? Oh Why am I so alone in this world, Jesus?" he pleaded.
There was a door knock. He got up and walked to the door. "Who is it?" he asked.
"My name is Betty. I want to ask you a question, mister."
He liked the sound of her voice and what he could see through the peeping hole made him stand up a little taller. He opened the door slowly. "Shoot!"
"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?" she asked with a slight twang.
He looked at her breasts. "If you are willing to scratch my balls I will accept him." He could not believe he said that out loud. She smiled and winked at him.
That is how he found his special ball scratcher and his savior all at once.
When he died he was surprised to find that Jesus was a charlatan and that Jello Biafra was the real savior.
Guinness (pronounced /ˈɡɪnɪs/) is a popular dry stout that originated in Arthur Guinness' brewery at St. James's Gate in Dublin, Ireland. The beer is based on the porter style that originated in London in the early 18th century. It is one of the most successful beer brands in the world, being exported worldwide. The distinctive feature in the flavour is the roasted barley which remains unfermented. For many years a portion of the beer was aged to give a sharp lactic flavour, but Guinness has refused to confirm if this still occurs. The thick creamy head is the result of the beer being mixed with nitrogen when being served. It is extremely popular with the Irish and, in spite of a decline in consumption over recent years, is the best-selling alcoholic drink of all time in Ireland,[1][2] where Guinness & Co. makes almost €2 billion annually.
The parent company has been headquartered in London since 1932 and was later merged with Grand Metropolitan plc and developed into a multi-national alcohol conglomerate named Diageo.
Overcome by the frequent mockery of his home State, the smallest state in the Union. Innocent_Sid decided to take matters into his own hands and conquer the neighboring state of Massachusetts with an overwhelming force of Robotic Warriors built within his basement.
I was born to play James T Kirk, but alas I was born too late and that hack Shatner was already playing him. So I did the next best thing, I ate his dog.
Hannelore
Petaluma, CA
October 2008
NOV 14, 2008 02:38 PM