Ok, you assholes really gotta quit ringing my doorbell

Magazine lady....you interrupted my show, my dog out, and patted my stomach and asked when I'm due, I'm not pregnant.

Jehovas Witness folks...woke my kid up from his nap with the overly enthusiastic doorbell ringing and knocking, and then shunned me because I wasn't a spanish speaking family.

piss off, all of you

This is why I always answer the door naked, erect, and with a 3 foot broadsword in my hand

Supersoaker full of old milk will solve this.

It doesn't help that I'm already getting a fear of my doorbell. Once hubby is over there, a knock at the door could really. really. really. suck.

I'd hug you, but I'm still prepped for the door and you might get the wrong idea.

Someday you are going to fulfill a very kinky Avon ladies fantasy!


Maybe I should post a sign on my door. 'Knock once for sales, twice if you are in a government car'?

Ugh...I can't even imagine

Seriously

just disconnect the doorbell

tape a thumbtack to the doorbell like that kid in home alone! hilarity would ensue

Regarding the Johova witness.

I was walking to work one day and passing through a parking lot and this older lady Literally ran after me. Shes like you going to work, i said yes, she said please take this. I quickly walked away with the pamphlet.

So i came up with this idea i wanted to do. One of two things. Carry around a Satanist literature (an No! i dont know where to get such a thing lol) and say ok well ill listen to you if you'll listen to me.

Or Carry around a piece of chalk and a lighter, and when they hand me out their fucking pamphlets i draw a pentagram on the ground and burn there pamphets chanting some unknown shit.

Ya know to fuck with them.... lol

Can you wire a taser to the doorbell ?

Oh PLEASE do the pentagram pamphlet burning! I'd love to see video of their reaction. That would be comedy gold!

But what if it's Publisher's Clearinghouse?

You search the bodies for the check.

Hire a hitmonkey

and why is it always during poo-time?

i wouldnt be surprised if u could find the instructions on how to do this on the net somewhere.

**goes to look**

and i just remembered i dont have a doorbell

Electrify your whole door so that way if they Knock....

excellent idea

i could put a puddle of water on the ground in front of my door too

I am so bad... I hate missionaries. My aunt was one in Taiwan when I was little but I just can't find it in myself to appreciate what they do. I (when I do bother to answer them at the door) tell them I don't believe in organized religions.

And as for the other potential knock, I pray that you never ever hear that knock sweetie.

Or if you do happen to know who it has at the door, next time, grab a kitchen knife and spread ketchup all over you and the knife, and answer the door, "WHAT!? im kind of busy at the moment"