Silliness

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casper_

casper_

Greenville, SC
February 2008

OCT 05, 2008 01:20 AM

....of a good story

tell us about the craziest, most whacked out,
or silliest thing that has ever (or never) happened to you.

scylis

scylis

Seattle, WA
November 2004

OCT 05, 2008 01:38 AM

i beat the shit out of Chuck Norris.

Dollface___

Dollface___

United Kingdom
June 2008

OCT 05, 2008 03:56 AM

I woke up this morning and upon looking in the mirror realised my marathon of beauty sleep this weekend has actually transformed me into Audrey Hepburn.

Loki_0724

Loki_0724

I'm lost
July 2007

OCT 05, 2008 04:09 AM

that i was the second man on mars, i had to kill the first, he stole my klondike bar lol

Varuka_Salt

Varuka_Salt

I'm lost
October 2006

OCT 05, 2008 05:27 AM

I fucked your mom. Before you were born.

Oh shit....

RudieCantFail

RudieCantFail

Intercourse, PA
January 2006

OCT 05, 2008 05:33 AM

Shiny_metal_ass said:
I fucked your mom.



I fucked your mom, and all I got was this lousy rash.

Varuka_Salt

Varuka_Salt

I'm lost
October 2006

OCT 05, 2008 05:43 AM

RudieCantFail said:

Shiny_metal_ass said:
I fucked your mom.



I fucked your mom, and all I got was this lousy rash.



SPOILERS! (Click to view)

It's not a rash. She says that to everyone. Get to the emergency room, fast, there may still be time.

casper_

casper_

Greenville, SC
February 2008

OCT 05, 2008 01:56 PM

Shiny_metal_ass said:
I fucked your mom. Before you were born.

Oh shit....



i always wondered why i was really good at bending stuff

wereduck

wereduck

I'm lost
July 2007

OCT 05, 2008 03:13 PM

My parents abandoned me at a carnival when I was a baby. The carnies took me in because they thought I was the cutest little doll in the world. After 17 years of playing ventriloquist dummy for the ringmaster (the carnies weren't that bright), and being dressed up by the flying trapeze girls (a story for another day...), I finally struck out on my own. I soon found myself Talahassee, and became a roadie for Toby Kieth (note: he is an asshole), only to get fired after punching the publicist. What can I say? Sarcasticaly telling me "good job" after accidentally bumping the stereos pisses me off.

Alone and with only $50 in my wallet, I wandered around, amusing myself with some imitation vaudeville performances. That's when I was taken in by a child, who kept me in a treehouse in his backyard. Though I knew this was going to be trouble, I liked the free place to crash. Soon, though, I found myself battling mobsters from an alternate 1930's, popsicle monsters, and the most vile creature of all: Dennis Miller. Eventually, I discovered the truth of why all these fights kept getting started: the boy was a genetically engineered Messiah for talking hedgehogs that live at the center of the earth.

One submolecular explosion later, and the boy's house is reduced to a micronized Tunguska, and now we're hiding out in a small town in the MidWest, fending off undersexed housewives with a penchant for chainsaws and woodchucks from beyond time and space.

phrogg

phrogg

Greenville, SC
August 2005

OCT 05, 2008 03:50 PM

wereduck said:
My parents abandoned me at a carnival when I was a baby. The carnies took me in because they thought I was the cutest little doll in the world. After 17 years of playing ventriloquist dummy for the ringmaster (the carnies weren't that bright), and being dressed up by the flying trapeze girls (a story for another day...), I finally struck out on my own. I soon found myself Talahassee, and became a roadie for Toby Kieth (note: he is an asshole), only to get fired after punching the publicist. What can I say? Sarcasticaly telling me "good job" after accidentally bumping the stereos pisses me off.

Alone and with only $50 in my wallet, I wandered around, amusing myself with some imitation vaudeville performances. That's when I was taken in by a child, who kept me in a treehouse in his backyard. Though I knew this was going to be trouble, I liked the free place to crash. Soon, though, I found myself battling mobsters from an alternate 1930's, popsicle monsters, and the most vile creature of all: Dennis Miller. Eventually, I discovered the truth of why all these fights kept getting started: the boy was a genetically engineered Messiah for talking hedgehogs that live at the center of the earth.

One submolecular explosion later, and the boy's house is reduced to a micronized Tunguska, and now we're hiding out in a small town in the MidWest, fending off undersexed housewives with a penchant for chainsaws and woodchucks from beyond time and space.



Win!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
What kinda drugs you taking? Can haz?

wereduck

wereduck

I'm lost
July 2007

OCT 05, 2008 04:11 PM

phrogg said:
Win!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
What kinda drugs you taking? Can haz?



SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I don't need drugs. I'm just that fucking good.

casper_

casper_

Greenville, SC
February 2008

OCT 06, 2008 01:51 AM

phrogg said:

wereduck said:
My parents abandoned me at a carnival when I was a baby. The carnies took me in because they thought I was the cutest little doll in the world. After 17 years of playing ventriloquist dummy for the ringmaster (the carnies weren't that bright), and being dressed up by the flying trapeze girls (a story for another day...), I finally struck out on my own. I soon found myself Talahassee, and became a roadie for Toby Kieth (note: he is an asshole), only to get fired after punching the publicist. What can I say? Sarcasticaly telling me "good job" after accidentally bumping the stereos pisses me off.

Alone and with only $50 in my wallet, I wandered around, amusing myself with some imitation vaudeville performances. That's when I was taken in by a child, who kept me in a treehouse in his backyard. Though I knew this was going to be trouble, I liked the free place to crash. Soon, though, I found myself battling mobsters from an alternate 1930's, popsicle monsters, and the most vile creature of all: Dennis Miller. Eventually, I discovered the truth of why all these fights kept getting started: the boy was a genetically engineered Messiah for talking hedgehogs that live at the center of the earth.

One submolecular explosion later, and the boy's house is reduced to a micronized Tunguska, and now we're hiding out in a small town in the MidWest, fending off undersexed housewives with a penchant for chainsaws and woodchucks from beyond time and space.



Win!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
What kinda drugs you taking? Can haz?



that is the best thing i've read in a long time biggrin

Franzipan

Franzipan

United Kingdom
July 2008

OCT 06, 2008 03:07 AM

This one time...at band camp...I stuck a flute up my pussy

scylis

scylis

Seattle, WA
November 2004

OCT 06, 2008 03:31 AM

When they're not around, I put the TV on. Purely out of curiosity, you understand. Up here, we can snatch some forty thousand channels out of the air. Most of them, of course, are still showing CSI and LAW AND ORDER. There are twelve different channels showing LAW AND ORDER 24 hours a day. In some countries, Jerry Orbach has become a cargo-cult figure. They don't understand the language or much of the situations. They comprehend only that Jerry Orbach is immortal. They watch and divine from the show that he outlives the young gods who are selected to be his assistants. Criminals fall. DAs change. Assistants fade away. Jerry Orbach is forever. Jerry Orbach is, in fact, some kind of avenging God-King who will hunt and incarcerate Scum until the end of time.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
thanks be upon thee, oh Wise Man of the Internet Forest! may virgins be sacrificed upon thine staff and may the water of fire from the Highlands (and West Highlands. and Lowlands. and Speyside. and Islay. and even the Islands.) and meat cooked over flames be heaped upon you in great quantities in thanks! and may you never lack for Red Bull!

casper_

casper_

Greenville, SC
February 2008

NOV 17, 2008 08:56 PM

Franzipan said:
This one time...at band camp...I stuck a flute up my pussy



that ones true isn't it?

JuliusChurch

JuliusChurch

Vatican City
November 2005

NOV 19, 2008 12:04 AM

I was adopted from Romania.

sweetloretta

sweetloretta

Bellingham, WA
June 2003

NOV 19, 2008 12:07 AM

i'm one of those people that cant have anything normal happen to them. i dont just got to the store. i go to the store and the cashier vomits on me. no shit. my friend and i are thinking of making a comic book of my ridiculous life.