What watching 50,000 + porn clips has taught me

I don't mind seeing dick as long as there's a girl in there as well...

in a 3-way, you are still hetero as long as you don't cross swords.

I'd agree except that there are a few angles used in porn that make me hate penis. Mainly the from behind the dude angle where all you see are is dick, his ass, and his balls swinging back and forth. Who do porn directors thing that is something people want to see. Oh boy, some dude's hairy asshole and swinging nuts, just what makes me want to play with my penis!
There's a lot to be said for POV porn.

POV porn for the win...

That real girls are sexier than porn stars. And less likely to develop anal leakage problems later in life.

I agree.... and agree

The best job is to be a pizza delivery boy!

I ve learned that simply by pulling your penis out of your pants women fall to their knees and commence blowjobbery.

Or pool cleaner in LA-LA land

That women can orgasm from giving a blowjob.

I dunno about la la land, but where I live cleaning pools is boring and basically never leads to having sex with hot older women. Mostly it means being annoyed by ugly older women, or more often their husbands. Though to be fair I am also not the porno version of a pool boy. I'm sure they're disappointed too.

and who would want to film that?

Lesbians are only lesbians until a guy shows up.

All coeds dream of sleeping with their college professors.

I've been a college prof for 7 years. The closest I've come to this is unintentional butt-cleavage

All women are one pillow-fight away from bisexuality.

a couple must go through every position imaginable before the money shot

I always thought it went
Oral
Oral
Vaginal
Anal
Oral to facial

For a $100 bill, any random girl will drop trou and go down on the money guy, while being video cammed.

Yes...crossing the streams...er swords is bad.

+ 1

Eight years in the pool business (building and repairing, not cleaning) and hardly even anything worth looking at, much less getting surprise porno sex.

I have incoming freshmen in their very first "must-pass to stay in college" classes. But I also live in the middle of Bible-country. I've had students use their ministers as references for research papers. Very little playing going on until they are older and out of my classes

Bad 70s rock gets the girls really hot.

Bad 70's punk gets them even hotter.

There's an episode of "Friends" ,"The One With The Free Porn", where Chandler and Joey discover that: that just because you go to the bank, the teller probably won't bring you back to the vault, and, the pizza delivery girl won't be adding herself as the extra topping.