Creative Masturbation

How about a good ol' fashioned finger or two??? I mean what did they do before batteries and dildos? haha!

shark cage

In the backyard on the hammock while all the neighbors are around having a bbq...

autoclave

6 axis CNC Machine!

RAWR!!

At a wedding.

I jack off with napalm and broken glass. All the gangstas do. Are you gangsta?

Actually, you'd be surprised! There's a line in the play Lysistrata that suggests that ladies have loved their dildos for thousands of years!

Those dirty dirty Greeks!

Books!

roast beef sandwich

Banana Peel

"open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur"

HAHA

a gymnastics beam (no, i don't mean vags' can be size gigantic, but rather like sitting on it kind of thing)

Arm under leg and reach over.

Anyone post the APPLE PIE yet?