Totally inappropriate response to a perfectly reasonable question.

thats just horse semen

Where does the donut go?

You make me hate god.

Wow! Have you ever seen anything as cut as these puppies?

I'll cut those puppies. Into soup meat.


Where have all the cowboys gone?

They died out fucking each other and grabbing the horns. . .

Are you ticklish?

I am NOT feeling your cock-a-doodle-doo so STOP asking me!!!!!


Dutch rudder??

What'd you fuckin call me?!?!?


Silly Willey?

Right in your ass.


Coffee, tea, or soda?

my cat's breath smells like cat food.

what's the weather like?

So, now I'm your own personal meteorologist? Look out the window yourself, you lazy fuck!

Who won the big game?

The game degenerated into an orgy halfway through, so… everyone!

Does pussyfoot sound dirty to you?

No, it doesn't. It's my favorite sexual pastime. This involves feet, cats (obviously), and you

Where have you put my giraffe?

Like you ever pay any attention to that damn giraffe! When I was your age, we wanted a giraffe, but couldn't afford one! We would have given anything for one! WE LOVED GIRAFFES! Look at you, you spoiled brat, I bust my ass at the factory all week, working my fingers to the bone, covered in grime, too tired to do anything when I get home, all so you can have nice things like a giraffe...and then you don't appreciate it at all!

Who wants a can of soda!?!

I'm going to shove that can of soda in your ass petty boy!

can you help me study?

Here, study the floor. I SAID STUDY IT!! Ill move my foot when you can give me its chemical composition.


So what's the plan for today?

go to the spca.... got a pot luck at work tomorrow


wanna join me for dinner?

Up yours, chicken-fucker!


Pardon me, but could you tell me what time it is?

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Do you know the Muffin Man?

I wouldn't mind getting to know your muff, man


Anyone seen a squirrel with a mohawk around here?

Yah I saw him trying drown the squirrel on water skis.

Can you pay for my medication?

I can't keep track of a goddamn squirrel with a goddamn mohawk, and you expect me to have money?


I mean, seriously?

Twat are you fucking twatting about, you twat?


What alcoholic beverage should I drink tonight?

My blood.


Is that wrong?

if that's wrong, i don't want to be right.

what would your superhero (or villain) alias be?

IfuckedYourmom Man


Sexual favors?