How to survive a nuclear war.

Keep a school desk in your home, that way if the bomb does drop you can hide underneath the damn desk.

Be the one that dropped the bomb.

Be one of the few people who have a mutation that allows you to absorb the radiation and become the hulk

Spam. Lots of it.

-TM

Wear magic pants.

Become a cockroach.

Or Keith Richards.

-TM

wear Iron Man armor.

Lay down on the ground with your feet facing the bomb blast. Cross your feet, and make sure your weapon is protected under your body.

Learn to stop worrying and love the bomb.

Word.

Stick your head in the sand ostrich.

Live at the bottom of the ocean.

duh, that's an atomic bomb, not a nuclear bomb.



Everyone knows you need a fall out shelter for a nuclear attack:



duck and cover for an atomic attack? Get your facts straight! Loose lips sink ships!!

But how do you survive a nucular war?

Adapt. I could totally use another arm growing out of my chest.

I reveal my Inmost Self unto my God.

May the Blessings of the Bomb Almighty, and the Fellowship of the Holy Fallout, descend upon us all. This day and forever more.

Build a shelter made entirely of Twinkies.

Sit down, put yr head between yr knees, and kiss yr sweet as goodbye.