Current Events are Silly!

Simple rule to follow: put on your best Colbert faces and talk about those "serious" things in the way only we can: with macros of kittens, sledgehammers of wackiness, Dadaistic performances, and a Fox News level of disrespect for meaningful discourse.

First topic to kick things off: Super Tuesday. Will Ron Paul finally take his rightful place as King of America? Let the speculation begin!

The truthiness of the matter is that the only thing that can protect america from the terrorists and homosexuals and god forbid the liberals is another bush term, followed in turn by yet another bush term. I propose an amendment to the constitution rolling back a short sighted change made to it. Abolish presidential term limits, if god had wanted term limits he would have put them in there when he wrote the king james bible in english.

Marry me?

But, until that glorious day, we have to decide who will steward this country in the meantime, correct? That's why I say: PAUL/ROMNEY for 2008. One wants to roll back centuries worth of communist undermining, and the other changes his personality to get votes. Together, they can take the Magic Marker of Righteousness to the Constitution, and set it right again!

Ron Paul is alll about protection. Protecting freedom from the Constitution.If the media wouldn't ignore him, he would have won every primary by landslide, all of them if you ask me. Ron Paul has what it takes for those of us who are tired of being bent over by politicians.

If Ron Paul fails to become President, the world will be overrun by flaming monkeys carrying chainsaws!

Everyone will be required to marry a penguin!

I thought it was a pelican? Shit.

*Gets dragged away by police*

*pelican wife unable to get child support*

Ron Paul is a trani right?

I totally would vote for her... him... herrrr let's say it.

You see it would be such a good way to make US more open minded.

Open-mindedness is the tool of the devil!

Then again... we've seen what Bush has done in the name of god...

Many American are looking for a change. Giving a chance to the devil is all the changes US citizens need. It has never been done. It's new, it's fresh, it's hip. It would be a way to draw teenagers back to the politic.

I still want to know why, if evolution exists, we still have monkeys.

To wear tuxedos and serve as butlers.

God put them there to disprove evolution, like he put dinosaur bones in to trick us.

AH! AH! (Familiprix for those from Québec)

This proves my theory. We've been fallowing God all this time. And he was only trying to trick us. God is evil and there for evil is good.

This proves we should take our chances with the devil and campagne for Ru Paul

RU PAUL FOR PRESIDENT

Give Evil a Chance!
:evil smile:

God would never trick us. He just likes to test the faith of the weak-minded. I believe. I believe that God will reward more faith and steadfast dedication by protecting my militaristic compound, 4 wives, 14 children, 96 grandchildren, and 7 eunuch manservants from the coming Rapture. Then God will reward my diligence to Him.

Now for those of you wondering why the democrats are even bothering to hold primaries when we all know that a republican is going to take the oval office again, two words, Sore Losers!

Thats right I said it and I meant every word of it. Oh sure the democrats are riding high right now but they need to realize that no matter what happens, they are the patriots of this coming election year Superbowl. and no matter how impressive their wins may be leading up to it it's just going to end in dissapointment and failure with coach Hillary, or Obama, still to early to tell, *holds hands up for emphasis* walking off the field a broken man, or in Obama's case Black man.

So hows my Colbert impression so far?

It's so uncanny. It's almost like you're a REAL conservative, or something.

Has anyone noticed that at the debates if anyone starts talking about Veitnam, John McCain looks like he wants to slap a bitch?

Nop but then again I'm not a good exemple... Canadien = ignorant.

RU PAUL FOR PRESIDENT

at least Ru Paul has balls. American's need a president with balls your instincts are good.