Your pick-up lines

"Let's go back to my place!"....it has worked every time for the last 22 years.

I don't use pick up lines i just wait for the nearest chick to say "I am sooooo drunnnnnkkkkk!" Then i make my move.

"wanna go back to my place, and smoke a doobie?"
(shrug shoulders while saying it, really offhandedly)

Both your parents must have been retarded...because you're very special.

I just had a total stranger accost me on the way home from work. She was very, very drunk and had a bottle of wine in her hand.

For reference, very drunk girls yelling "Hey, can I have a kiss" at strangers in the street doesn't work as well as I'd've thought.

Ladies, may I fist you?

I lost my phone number...can I have yours???

In a crowded nightclub...

Say baby, wanna go in the bathroom and do it with me or what?

Did it hurt?
[S/he: Did what hurt? ]
When you fell out of heaven?

See, in my head I flip them off at "Did it hurt". In practice, I can be really quite slow. It runs more like this:

Did it hurt?
Moi: Excuse me?
When you fell out of heaven?
Moi: I'm sorry?
Did it hurt, when you feel out of heaven?
Moi: I don't understand...
Because you're all, nevermind.

Which, in the end, works out just fine for me.

Hi there, my name is _____________. Do you have a gag reflex?

Game over...

WIN

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

Can't lose with the new classics.

"Hey. Your tag is showing. It says... made in Heaven..."

I've been nice bootsed six times, and I never realized till it was too late.

Or you know--a doobie.

Excuse me, would you like to join me for a cocktail?

Fuck me if i'm wrong, but is your name Helga?


Works until you run into a chick named Helga.

This guy boring you? Why don't you come talk to me, instead? I'm from a different planet...It's true! Want to see my space ship?

so where's the buffet?

i've tried this one many times, sadly to no avail.....
"me....you....casual sex?".....tis still my fave though

I can do things with my tongue that drugs can't do to you.

Hi.