I am Who I am

I am who I am nothing more nothing less. I struggle to get by and most days I want to die. I can't and won't give up though. I don't know how. I am the person that's there but isn't there. You see me but you don't acknowledge me. To you I'm a ghost a shell I take up space but to you I'm not there.


Then the time comes when you need me but only for a moment and that's it. I'm just a tool for you at a time of need you use me for what you need and then you send me away. It's ok I understand. I'm nothing to you not even a man.

You must understand I was someone once a husband, father, solider, a man.

The husband and Father I was died with my wife and my son. They died when I was quite young only 19 I lost my wife and my son. A piece of me died with them. Then came the drugs.

Then drugs took my soul and made me a shell sending me on a path to hell. I got smart and turned off that path. I became a soldier trying to do what was right. Remembering my son and my wife. I wanted to make them proud of who I was. I fought in two wars not just one. I lost many friend's got hurt once , twice, and then the third. The third took my life as a soldier away. I was lost with nowhere to go. I went home to a family that hated me so. I left and went somewhere new.

The man that I was went somewhere new looking for someone who knew. I never found that person searching still. No longer a man just a ghost of who I was. My friends are never there they left me to sit here alone and wondering why I'm still here. I think I shall just disappear deeper inside where I like to hide. It's nice in here me and my pain, loneliness, despair, anger, and hate. All for me noone else. What's left of my soul turns darker everyday yet a small light of hope stays ever present that maybe someone will save me.

Hope the only thing that keeps me going just the smallest amount is enough. It won't let me quit even at my darkest times. Even when the thoughts of death cross my mind. Still I'm a ghost here but not here I cry for help and noone hears.

I was someone once a husband, father, soldier, a man.


Now I'm just a ghost of a man.

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

I'm happy for your cat

tldnr.

TLDNR

you're cute...your post though

not so grate aktully.

I need a taller step ladder can I use you for that?

Spalding gray?
Zat you?

...are you considering teh dark side of silliness? Cause that sounds like something Cassiel or ckdexterhaven would say???

Blah Blah Blah....who reads these long entries? Someone give me a summary.

struggle

misery

unhappiness

I saw the capitalised Who, assumed a Doctor Who related post, clicked, and was disappointed.

I want my money back.

Also, get off my lawn.