Dear Sonic Drive-In

First of all, I don't really believe you exist. See, I've never seen a single Sonic ever. So despite the fact that you run your commercials nonstop in my area, I'm pretty sure you're just an elaborate dickish ruse to make me crave your food with no hope of ever tasting it.

Second of all, fuck you for hatching and executing your elaborate dickish ruse to make me crave your food with no hope of ever tasting it.

Third, and most importantly, I just saw one of your commercials. You're advertising a sort of "popcorn" chicken thing, where nuggets of "chicken" are "breaded" and fried for your "enjoyment". The issue I take with this commercial is this:

I recognize that this type of chicken is in smaller bite-sized pieces, but you referred to it as "portable" chicken. Correct me if I'm wrong, but all chicken is "portable". It's fucking chicken. You can carry it around even if you're selling the whole goddamned bird. It's not a fucking waterbed.

Get over yourselves.

Signed,
Subrosa.

+1

I love Sonic, had a Route 44 Dr. Pepper from them last night. It was tasty.

I don't believe you.

I love how the new Sonic's around here have a drive-through


It's already a drive-in

Heehee


PS I have seriously considered moving on account of their cherry limeade.

Their breakfast sandwiches are drooleriffic too.

They do exist. I've seen them, eaten at them, and had a handjob at one of their carhop stations.

I've considered the 50 minute road trip because of their commercials. Damned their marketing!

I was looking at this the other day, and then I realized something. If you are towing a boat or something, you can still get Sonic. Otherwise, you'd just have to be Sonic-less, and that would make the Baby Jesus (who is from TX, BTW) cry.

I'm going to have to side with Subrosa on this one. I never stop seeing the commercials, but I've never seen one either.

And I hate their god damned commercials. I want to kill the guy, and his dumb ass wife, and his asshole friend.

Yeah, like I'm going to take your word for it? You're just part of the conspiracy, man.

Regardless, FOCUS, PEOPLE. We're trying to start a movement here. ALL CHICKEN IS PORTABLE. God, keep your eyes on the ball.

Dead chicken is very easily transportable. Live chickens, however, are another matter.

Point taken.

But the one down the street from me, has places designated for trucks towing stuff off to the side well away from having to turn around the building. . and the still have the drive through part.
Why do you really need both?
It's like .. the size of a WalMart parking lot over there.

If you have a newsletter, sign me up.

Good point.

Exactly. Eat it DHD.

Good Times > Sonic

...But kill, pluck, gut, dismember, batter and fry ot first.

Some chicken is more portable than others.

In mother Russia...

Really? I mean Jimmy "J.J." Walker is a funny man and DY-NO-MITE is one of the greatest catch phrases in tv history but is it better than a egg and sausage toaster sandwich or an extra long cheese coney? I don't think so.

I think in this situation it is you that is considered portable. At any rate, I'm guessing that chicken can top out at about 40 mph, so it might even be more convenient in transport.

They don't exist. I've never seen one. Although I seriously want to choke that annoying bitch in those commercials. The two guys are cool though. Ladybug jokes rule.

...chicken carries you.

I'm pretty sure that doesn't exist either. I don't know if it's part of the Sonic conspiracy, but it's definitely suspect.