ask the yogi

Perhaps you have a question of a deeper nature, perhaps you have need of a spiritual friend.

I place myself humbly at your service.

what is the sound of one hand fapping ?

Always use organic, enviornmentally friendly lube. Never put anything on your peen that you wouldn't put in your mouth.

I usually wouldn't put a condom in my mouth. Is this a conflict ?

do soulmates exsist or is it something we create to make a connection seem more important?

Where the hell's Boo-Boo? Why isn't he being involved?

And why are you always trying to steal my pic-a-nic baskets?

Condoms are the lesser of evils, in most cases. You are welcome to do away with them by being monogomous, learning about moon cycles, and practicing the taoist practice called the "big draw "

Soulmates can be explained a few different ways. First, there is a concept called rnabhandhana(sanskrit). It literally translates as "karmic debt" and acknowledges the idea that much of what we feel as deep connection is a result of past life stuff. This is impossible to verify through methods available to most of us.

Astrologically speaking, often times the feeling of soulmate is explained by a mutual conjunction of the sun and moon. My sun is in cancer, your moon is in cancer. My moon is in Leo, your sun is in Leo. We are going to have a lot of fun together.

Sometimes, we are just tripping. Best to just enjoy the energy and let it wash over you, without attatching a meaning to it. Love doesn't have to mean anything more. It is for its own sake.

Booboo lives within your heart. Seek him there.

I steal your basket simply to reveal your unreasonable attatchment to said basket. For true peace, surrender the basket.

Why should I believe you over this Yogi?

does reincarnation occur within any sort of time frame............ seems like I read that in a Yukio Mishima book ........ but that would be the only place I seen it.........
(i'm thinking he had stated between 7 days and 7 months upon leaving the body......)

There are many models of how reincarnation works. Some schools believe that human souls remain human throughout their entire process. Some schools believe that all of your lives throughout time and space are happening right now, and so it is possible that there is more than one of you running around the planet or other planets, at any given time. Tibetan Buddhists have an extremely complicated system that charts the journey of the soul through a neverending cycle that includes dozens of different hell realms, dozens of different heavens, animal lives, etc. I believe that their funerary rituals last somewhere in the neighborhood of 49 days, so that's what they believe. I could be off a little.

What is important to remember, regardless, is personal responsibility. The now is a result of the past. The future will be a result of the present.

If you study our teachings, you will find them remarkably similar.

Assuming of course that Karma exists...if it doesn't the theories don't hold up.
So How do you know if it does or not?

I will assume that when you use the term "Karma", you are refering to "cause and effect", or "codependent origination". Phenomena happen because other phenomena arose before it that either caused or allowed it to happen. This is what you are talking about when you say "Karma", right? I just want to. Make sure we are on the same page.

So, how do I know?

It is observable in the natural world.

I practiced silencing my thoughts long enough to have a good look at the world around me. I have corroborated my findings with other yogis who have done the same.

If you are curious about understanding the intricacies of cause and effect, then I suggest you for the same.

Got a good stress-relieving meditation technique for a total n00b?

-TM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Yeah ask people if they wanna get naked with you.

I said I needed "a good stress-relieving meditation technique," NOT, "the quickest way to cause mass eye-gougings and turning of women to lesbians."

-TM

So the masterbation with a noob is out of the question huh? hahahahaha

It is called "yoga nidra" or yogic sleep. I call it counting fingers and toes.
Best to lie down flat on back, but you can do it in a chair, no slouching, feet on floor. Breathe deeply and easily. Circulate your attention around your body parts, one at a time. Say the part in your mind as you do it. "right thumb, right first finger, right second finger, etc". Do the whole arm, then move to the left. Then feet and legs, then start at the tailbone and work your way up. Play with lots of left and rights, fronts and backs, do organs, if you know them. When you get up to the neck and head and face get real detailed, there is a lot going on there. If you get through everything, then take your attention to the center of the chest, and breathe, visualizing light in the "spiritual heart".
Rest here.

I don't always get through the whole body, sometimes I count my fingers and toes, and just fade out. Usually my eyes open after 15 20 minutes and I feel really refreshed. If I am out for longer, I know that I really need to rest.

Good luck!

if karma exists and you commit a crime against it woukld the Karma Police arrest you?

If gravity exists and you commit a crime against it, would the gravity police arrest you?

A better metaphor might be digestion...
If you commit a crime against digestion, do police come? No, there is gas and bloating and pain and overweight, but no police. However, digestion is irrefutable. You can't lie to digestion. Karma relates to the digestion of experience.
Such as.

. . . such as like in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and I believe that they should, our education over here in the US should help the US, er, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children.

As I am surrounded by negative in my daily life.
How do I keep my head, so that I do not take it out on the one positive I have going for me?

just as one must take time alone to bathe, so as to cleanse the body of accumulated filth, one must take time alone to sit in meditation, so that the accumulated noise of the mind has a chance to settle and release.