news wire posting and you

"I haven't read any posts in the thread, I barely understood the original post and I sure as hell didn't read any linked document - Here's my insightful comment."

"I also didn't bother to read past the first three sentences of the original post. I haven't most of your post, and I've misunderstood what you said in the tiny fraction that I did bother reading. Here's my well thought out response, you dimbulb."

"I skimmed your post. I think I disagree. I'll use a smiley because I'm probably a bit drunk. Or angry."

"I see your smiley, and am enraged by your ignorance, because I KNOW THE TRUTH and I want you to know that."

"I've had a few more beers. Or more crack. I am even less coherent than normal, and that's not very coherent. Like, say, a drunk monkey. On crack. That's just been kicked in the head. Here, have a random insult that makes almost no sense."

"I'll pop in and say something flippant based on nothing more than the subject line"

"I'll be horribly offended at your flippant comment. BECAUSE I KNOW THE TRUTH"

Is it someone else's turn to post yet?

"I'll google and find some obscure 'academic' journal who gave space to someone who wrote an impenetrable slab of jargon filled bollocks, then I'll cut and paste about eight thousand words. Because, just reading this thread, it's obvious that what people really need is more stuff that they're not going to read."

angry, are we?

Can we all play?

*smiley face*

"I have no idea what the topic is about, but I've picked on you as a nice target for a stream of personal invective."

"I was kidding! I wasn't really wrong! How dare you point out a flawed arguement! I HAVE MORE POSTS!!!"

"This foil hat theory has been disproved time and again by those much more learned than me, but I'd like to post and vigorously defend it"

"I'm not taking anything you're saying even remotely seriously, so I'll just post this funny picture to show how seriously I'm not taking you. Take that!"

"I don't see what the big deal about this topic is, so I'm going to make a HUGE deal about what a big deal it's SO not!"

"I really want to get into an argument, so I'm bumping this old thread which already had an argument in it with an inflammatory assertion that's already been disproven at least a dozen times."

"Since I don't actually have a point to make, I'll just come up with creative ways to call you stupid."

"Asks how this is news"

"I've decided to just spend my remaining time on this site bashing FearTheReaper."

"I'd like to make as controversial a statement as possible, and then backtrack trying to explain what I really meant"

Shut the fuck up! I have the right to freedom of speech!

"I'm going to issue a spastic tirade full of spelling and grammatical errors, the main thrust of which seems to be that I think liberals should be rounded up and tortured to death for the good of America. Comment-stalking me will reveal that, although I've been a member of the site since 2003, my only other comments have consisted of 'I loved it!' Twice."

"I would like to point out that this thread is completely off topic"