I.....

...gives you a

... just got hung up on by some fuckin' llama

... wasnt the one on a cell phone in cell-hell!! Twas I that was so rudely hung up on.

... did no such thing! I was talking to air for several minutes (damn you and your non-breathing)

...was wasting away




yep.

... suggest you get a real phone so you stop cutting people off.

... should. But I should also stop yelling about whatever we were talking about when my closest neighbors are in their 80s and might have heart attacks if they heard me saying such things

... think you need to relax...eat a jar of mayo!

... hate you. Times a thousand.

...found a free wireless signal in my bedroom!!!

...have a tank full of gentle cuttlefish.

is that a euphemism for "I just rubbed one out into the toilet"?

'Cause if it is...

...'m totally stealing it.

.... was just in the "sex talk" room.... thinking i was in silliness... OH MY GOSH...

How silly of me

... am in a good mood.

...can't wait until i have this house to myself for 3 weeks.
...t won't come soon enough.

....'m out for the night
Bye bye!

...am lonely tonite
...don't really wanna go away anymore

...smell good.
...'m tired of my perfume though.
...need to get something new.

...t's Friday! Tomorrow's my only day off this week I better make the most of it.

. . . spent my only day off doing nothing except dying my hair and going out for pho.
. . . should have been in bed 4 hours ago.
. . . have to get up in 4 1/2 hours for work.

...have rarely been this violently pissed off.
...just found that someone decorated my car with one of those microwave cups of crappy pasta sometime in the last 2 days .
...haven't driven since Wednesday
...have an urge to drive a baseball bat through someone's skull.

That is just terrible. Sounds like somebody needs a good beating, just make sure you beat up the right person.

...am bored as hell
..have no idea what's going to happen this weekend...

...love weird al

... can agree with that.