crazy leeches may not sleep on my crotch

I'm sane but I wouldn't be doing much sleep if I was near your crotch.

You'll have to cut through the padlock I'm using to attach myself there, first.

Got my bolt cutters right here.

I however got matches

nicely played.

For fusck's sake, why havbe they not erected a statue in honor of your photoshopping god-hood??

I think it's my semi-lurker status. Plus I often smell of hummus and cheap booze.

Oh, man, now I'm thinking statues with smell-o-vision.

A Smell-O-Tue if you will.

Oh, man, now I'm thinking statues with smell-o-vision.

A Smell-O-Tue if you will.

My statue would feature a finger which could be pulled for a delightful blast of hummus and bratwurst aftermath aroma.

A statue that shits itself! Who needs pigeons!?!?

It'll only shit itself accidentally and unexpectedly though. Like after a late night and a lot of Pabst.