^ < v game

^ is hungry for home cooking
< lives too far away to cook for her in time
v finally caved and ordered pizza

^ will get a slice in the mail
< doesn't have any money to give the pizza guy
v will trade said pizza guy services for my viewing pleasure

^ seems to have a longer tongue than I do
< Hopes the pizza guy doesn't want "extra cheese" with his services
v Will undoubtly pick out something very meaningful to say about me

^ If I knew you I would
< should be doing laundry
v doesn't need to do laundry

^ Is still procrastinating about doing laundry
< did laundry this morning before work and has to run home to dry jeans before hitting the pub tonight
v is living under the philosophy of 'you can wear your underwear 4 times without washing - forwards, backwards, inside out forwards and inside out backwards'