Has anyone ever gone to a massage parlor...

that gives a "happy ending"?

It's not so much that I want to do it, I am just extremely curious.

So, anyone?

Nope.

Is this why some people make a firm distinction between being called a "masseuse" or a "massage therapist"?

I'm not sure myself.

I went to a exotic palor in Honolulu at the time almost seven years ago now i was heavily into betty paige tees. I colect obsesed over them.I had just bought one that day when my brother dared me to go in. It was right next to a taco bell on date street and needless to say i left feeling like mybe the estblishment got more out of it than I but They really liked my shirt.so i think they got me.

What?

"I paid for a hand job in Hawaii, and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt"

All I heard was clicks and whistles.

Durka durka click chi wooop dee durka noog tee chakra tseeeop?

12 SIDED DIED!!

i block with my +3 shield of ass saving?

ass shavings?

YOU HEARD ME@!!! back to the topic, i live in las vegas, there are hundreds of these places, im sure they will beat you off, bang,maim,cut, tie , strangle, fuck what ever your thing is, im sure they do it .... all the while making your back feel like a 1000 bucks, ... but for good reason. Cause thats about the amount your check is going to be.

Yup, I have. It was called the Royal Knight Sauna and it used to be on a long thorougfaire that was known for skeevey enterprise. My then girlfriend and I wanted to do a mural on the side of the building that the sauna was attached to and we were trying to find who owned the building.Anyway, we couldn't gain access to the front as it had a buzzer and they must have seen two weirdos and thought the better of letting us in. We went around back and I could see the door was open a crack and had a fan in it as it was very hot out. We stepped inside the first door and it revealed a second one. I opened it in time to see a very sweaty looking woman in a two piece bathing suit and pumps walk out of a room with a hand full of crumpled kleenex that had the end of one very used looking condom stciking out of it, using her thumb and index finger to hold it away from herself as if it were, well, a hand full of crumpled kleenex that had the end of one very used looking condom sticking out of it. This part all happened very quick and the minute she stepped out and saw us she screamed and ran into an adjoining door, we fled as a much larger oafish looking hag screamed obscinities at us.
Fucking weird as hell, and we never did do the mural.

thats hot, i sperminated....

A happy ending.....wtf

My favorite part of the question...I wonder how many responses are gonna be like "Well I haven't, but my friend has and..."

There's a place near my office that is called "Oriental Massage" and the windows are covered with these weird blinds. I might check it out someday, but I don't have money to waste right now.

i wanna get beat off by a small asian lady.....those little hands

Curious about what? What do you want to know? I've been to 3 different places in Southern California quite a few times and had pretty much everything on the menu (It's a small menu unless you're willing to spend escort type prices (just look in the erotic services part of craigslist to see what those are)).

I've never gotten anything close to a decent full body massage. Pretty much every time I've gone away thinking "Shit, I just went to a massage place and now I'm all sore and need a massage".

Prices are typically $30 to $40 for a half hour to get in the door (it's always posted right when you walk in) then whatever the girl is willing to do. Most guys I've talked to talk her down to $60 er so successfully. Me I've always given them as much as I can afford, although that's usually just a c-note or less. It's hard to not give them just as much as you can. Sure I know that it's their job to do whatever they can to get all they can out of you, just like any other salesperson in any industry, but most of these girls are total sweethearts. DEFINITELY not all though, some are just total monsters, but the majority that I've met are absolute sweethearts that you want to do anything you can to make smile.

Going to them has kindo screwed up any hopes of ever having a normal sex life with any average Jane Blow girl you meet inthe supermarket. Not because I've lost all hope for humanity, but because now that I've been with a true professional I can see just how horribly bad 99.999% of girls are at sex. I mean it stands to reason. You have your neighbor fix your car, just average Joe Blow guy with a Sears toolkit, sure he's your friend and he's gonna try his damndest to do the best job he can. But there's no way that he's gonna be able to do near as good a job as a professional mechanic who's been fixing 5 cars a day every day since he was 12 years old. That's a really good analogy I think because that's what a lot of the pros I've seen have been through. Numerous people per day since they were pretty young. Most people - myself included obviously - would see it as majorly unfortunate that anyone would have a life like that, although every cloud, no matter how dark has SOME type of a silver lining. The biggest perk is definitely that the girls at the AMPs that I've been to all make plenty of cash as can be seen by their having VERY expensive cars. It was really weird parking my beat to shit pick up truck in between a brand spankin new Aston Martin and an SL class Mercedes. Another is that their skills, being professionals, are FAR beyond those that any non-pro could ever hope to be. In the sack anyway. Their massage skills are absolutely ghastly. No one ever goes to an AMP to actually get a massage and they never receive any feedback on the massage part.

I was coked up and drunk in amsterdam and ended up in one of those window call girl rooms. I remember being suprised about how pretty the girl was. Though I must say that it was cold and emotionless. Of course it would be, but I guess one hopes diffrently somehow. The experiance soldified my belief that sex just doesnt work for me with out intimacy. I would rather just masterbate and save 100 bucks. I like the George Castanza philosophy on the whole thing- dont pay for parking or sex, cause if you apply yourself you can get both for free.

How funny that you just started a thread about this ... the local government, in response to community complaints about the proliferation of massage parlors in the heartland, has just cracked down on them. Now all massage parlors must have a) clear windows that make the interior visible from the street, and b) no interior blinds, curtains, or other barriers that conceal what's going on.

The new rules came into effect about a week ago - and yesterday's paper reported that roughly 75% of the massage parlors in the country have since gone out of business.

Yup, outside of just a great ending I enjoy just a straight up 90min traditional swedish soft tissue massage. Once in awhile I stir it up by seeing a FSBM provider. Most of the time a independent does provide a great massage, but does end up like a Jefferson episode "Moving On Up". I stay clear of parlors, typically they are a little risking and not a smart move if you require a decrete nature. Why you ask?

I'm really just curious about what goes on, how it happens, what it's like, what the people are like, what the place is like, how things go on so as not to get busted, etc. You know, just cuz I'm curious about it doesn't mean I want to do it (in response to a few of you in this thread). I'd read a thread about making shit and piss smoothies, doesn't mean I want to drink one.
That being said, I don't think anything is wrong with it. Seriously, what could be bad about a massage and a hand job?
I have no desire, I can't even kiss a girl without being into her, let alone having her hands on my junk. It's not my thing.