Worst sex ever...

sucks to be him..... haha i'm totally the oppostie
worst sex lets see.......i never had any yet.

I think the worst sex ever was the sex that didn't happen.

it was with an ex, (we were exes at the time, it happened ages ago) and it was the first time that I had prematurely ejaculated.

I took it as a sign and left, never to see her again (thank G-d, she was insane).

OK folks: here it is. Everyone wants to know about my sex life- and if you dont, do yourself a favor and stop readind.
Did you stop yet?
...last chance
Ok so I had a date lst Friday with a guy I met on myspace. I was totally excited because it was a new thing- an adventure. And the whole week I had been trying to talk myself out of having sex with this guy. I had even turned to some friends for advice (who sucked at it btw) and tried to get a blessing for strength from the church. Part of the problem with why these things were not working to help me was my attitude. I went into this thinking... "whats the worst that could happen?" I was on Birth Control and I knew he was STD free, so I didn't see what could go wrong. I just left like letting go once in my life. Anyway- the other part of the problem was that the advice I was getting was mediocore at best and people were being very judgemental.
So long story shorter. I get there to this guys house 35 minutes late for the movie we were supposed to see because the directions he gave me sucked. I arrive at his house, which is much nicer then I thought it would be (turns out he is 36 and living off his parents) and I tour the house. Now he is cuter then I thought he would be. Very handsome, IMO. And we start making out on one of the couches. He is a good kisser. So things are getting hot and heavy and he tells me lets go to the bedroom. So I am thinking with my hormones now and leap over the couch to go to the bedroom and when we get there he takes his clothes off and starts to undress me. Well- nothing seems out of the ordinary until I reach down and the man is limp. Like- real limp...
curious....
THIS MAY BE TMI TERRITORY!! LEAVE NOW!!!
So he goes to eat me out and he was good at it- so i go to return the favor and
wait
what?
still N O T H I N G
ack! What the heck is going on. So then it hits me. Its not me. Maybe it is God taking away my chance to have sex with this guy- because I can tell he is struggiling to get it up and he wants me to go down but I am seriously confused about why that thing isn't rock hard yet.
So I go down on him and maybe 10 minutes later he cums.
limp
Thats right ladies and gents- he came limp- which I didn't even know could happen. So I am kind of pissed off and he goes out for a smoke so I turn on the light nd am trying to but my clothes on and sneak out, and much to my dismay he catches me. So he cuddles with me and says hes sorry- that had never happened before, blah blah blah. So I go outside with him and see his fabolus pool so I decide fuck it I will give him another chance to redeem himself.
I jump in the pool butt ass naked and hope that he follows, which he does, and we are headed for round two in the pool, which is hot, btw. So he is slowly getting hard- and I am straddling him and he is kind of walking around the pool. And I think he is hard enough to put it in, so thats what I think he does. Little did I know it was just his fingers he was holding his hand down by his cock. Tricky tricky. So after like 2 minutes I figure it out- but go with it because it is working for me if you know what I mean. So after my... ahem... He sits me on a stair and he puts it in and I am like- YES IT WORKS but no. After like 3 thrusts he goes soft and the poor man lookjs like he is going to cry. So I am trying to reassure him, but I have never been in this kind of situation and I have no idea what to say.
ok- I swear I am trying to make this shorter...
So the next day he is supposed to come over to my hotel and he stands me up. So I drive back through his city the next weekend and he stands me up again. I dont really care because i am not emotionally attached, but I think he is trying to blame his ..ahem.. problems on me.
more later- tired of typing

the girl I was living with at the time wanted anal so one thing lead to another and we go at it and when I finish there is this horribly awkward tension. Apparently it wasn't as hot as I thought it was and as good as she was pretending it to be. Her body language sets off all sorts of primitive danger receptors in my brain. She goes to the shower and I can hear her sobbing and crying then throwing up in the shower. It was a rather awkward night