Worst sex ever...

it's all happened to us i'm sure.... but let's get the stories out there in the open! it doesn't have to be your worst sex partner... it can be... but it can also be simply your worst time having sex - your fault or the other persons.

As a wise man once said,

"If your worst sex moment ever wasn't with me...

... then you haven't had your worst sex moment yet, baby."

When ever it smells like the great depression.

no such thing as bad sex!

Back in high school, I was having sex with my girlfriend. The phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. Her friend asked what she was doing, and she said, "Oh,nothing." Then my girlfriend made plans to get together with her later that afternoon. "I should be ready in about half an hour." I was pissed. I didn't want her to say, "Sorry, I'm fucking. Let me call you back when I'm done," but it really killed the mood to feel so dismissed.

I was too drunk...'nuff said.

I was drunk and she wasn't all that attractive. I don't think i was able to really keep it up either. I'm pretty sure i might have passed out during too.

In high school, when her Dad walked in and almost killed me...

The worst oral sex I've ever received followed by four hours of incredibly boring sex.

the worst sex i've ever had was so due largely to the fact that *i* know we didn't have sex, but *he* believed we did -during it and after.

picture this if you will:

waaaaaaay too much to drink on both your halves, he's at least 90% gay (closeted), you're a female, and he's on top of you pounding away making gasping porn rhapsodizations about how he's fucking you, how good it feels to be in you, etc.

and you're underneath doggystyle, looking at his stuffed bunny collection and drunkenly trying not to crack up because he's no where near being inside you, instead is rubbing and thwapping against your thighs randomly.

man, that was comic gold.

i let him let me down easily the next day that this night of "sex" wasn't the beginning of a serious relationship.

Awww...hell. You win. I was gonna say just incredibly DRY and BORING sex. She didn;t move at all. No facial expressions. No sounds. I had no clue if she was even into it at all -- and this is after she initated the whole thing.

RumpusParable - wow.. that's pretty bad! and too funny!

i guess my worst would be w/ an ex/kinda/ b/f something.. .(by the way i hate him w/ a passion now) but we were going to just fool around in his dorm room (romantic, i know) but when he took off his boxers.... he had the most bent pencil dick ever! when we did attempt to have sex (i wouldn't even count it as that) the condom he had on was like... sagging off of his penis... i was thinking.... um there's no way that's going to stay on during sex... sure enough it didn't ... and i had to stop and realize that the condom was gone... and we stopped to look for it...i finally realized where it was... ya... in me... so after i got it out , i felt so embarassed for him i just said we should just stop... and that was pretty much the deal breaker for that relationship... other than the fact that he was an insecure, immature, emoboy, crybaby, (i could go on) sorry excuse for a 21 year old... needless to say i'm not with him anymore and my boyfriend now, has a wonderful penis that im very much in love with!... haha

That took a while.

haha...i know... sorry

hell... RumpusParable took this one........my story is more like a chapter in the "Book of Boring Sex" (if such a book exists!!!)... allot o' back story here, so cuttin' to the chase... imagine a girl into closed mouth kissing, so much so that it goes on for over and hour (JUST kissing mind you...very soft kissing... The kind of kissing that you start to think of what groceries you need, or what movies you want to see next, or highlights in the book that you were reading before she started kissing you) where it gets to the point that you have to have sex (the kind where she just lays in one spot, not doing much of anything) just to get the evening over with. So you do it, you have "sex", and its as boring as possible, but then its over, and you're happy, b/c you can go back to your book, you shower, change, get your book and continue to read......................and she starts kiss you again

that sounds like the beginning of a horror movie/book. haha

wrong you are. i believed this same thing once.

bad sex is quite the reality.

doggy style, she farted. sex done. it REAKED i thought i was going to die

Big party at a hotel the night before a friends wedding. I was 19, the "lady" in question was an older Mrs. Robinson type. She'd been flirting all evening, but my girlfriend was arriving in the morning so I'd politely refused Mrs. R's "offers". 2am and I'm blind drunk, decided to stumble back to my room and pass out. Started to close the door when she appeared and closed it for me. She pushed me backward into the room and on the bed. Before I could yell "Bad Touch" she had pulled my pants down, hiked up her skirt, and was giving me the ride of my life.

Fast forward what seemed like an eternity and she's still going at it, I'm sobering up and hanging on for dear life. Suddenly the room door opens, the light come on, and a voice from the doorway says in a very pissed off tone, "Marie... I think it's time to go!" Squinting against the light I look up at her and ask "Who is THAT?" She bites her lower lip and replies "That would be my husband". Yikes. She dresses in record time, says a hasty "sorry" and bolts. I make sure the door is actually shut and locked then finally pass out.

Later that morning she showed up again, this time just to recover her shoes. I asked "WTF were you thinking last night" and she said it was payback. A few weeks earlier she'd discovered her hubby was screwing a [much] younger coworker and decided she was entitled to some fun too.

My best friend and I blew off the last of the sexual tension between us in five minutes of lackluster foreplay (in which he claimed that, because my skills at the oral sexin had gotten so much better that he was too distracted to go down on me. My thoughts: "Gee, I don't remember his balls being this small...") and two minutes of real sexin. I got on top of him, thinking I'd show him what a sex machine I'd become in the two or three years since the last time we'd fucked (also rather lackluster, as I recall... but not well enough to really recall it...). Two minutes later, I'm still not aroused, he's done, and I'm putting my clothes back on thinking, "Gee, it's only ten-thirty. There's still plenty of time left to go to karaoke!"

You know what? We did go to karaoke, and had a better time listening to people make asses of themselves than we did fucking each other. And now we have no more of those pesky urges... at all.

It involved vomit and tears. We don't really talk anymore.
Y'all can fill in the blanks anyway you'd like...

damn, yeah, sounds like an experience that really made you think twice before you made love again.

Its a good thing none of my exes are on here because this thread would just become one giant list where I'm mentioned