Sex License?

Ok, so it seems to me that a lot of stupid people are fucking without a clue. A far cry from safe, sane and consensual (a crime to neglect any one of the three, not just the last, in my opinion).

So, i think that people should be licensed to have sex. They should have to take a half year course (like in school, one semester) and afterwards, take a test and then be officially in the clear to have sex, and only with those who are also licensed to fuck. Who's with me on this?

Then of course there can be different levels of licenses. Gangbang license, orgy license, oral license (maybe this would be like a learners permit?), anal license (i think this DEFINITELY requires at least a class or two), etc.

Then after a certain number of years, your license can be upgraded. Just having a license in the first place can make one eligible for official BDSM classes, Kama Sutra classes... hell Kegels classes should be compulsory.

Hmm... i could be onto something here....

Well you know believe it or not, I've thought of this plenty of times before, unfortunately I'm not even sure I agree with my own idea. Plus no one would go for it, and what's more, there would be no way to enforce it. Not to mention your levels would never fly either, as half of that stuff is illegal in some states. Of course, with ol' Bushy, you never know, he might see this topic and decide to make it federal.

I firmly belive that virgins are to be trained than released once at a satisfactory level. You can't have a bunch of pussytards out there not knowing a clit from a labia or dickdummies (cup the danm balls, and give em a lick every now and again). Training is imperative to the survival of the quality (yet needy) vaginas and penis.

Says you. I hate to break it to you, but it's not like the splooging at the thirty second mark is done on purpose or is because of a lack of training. :p As for the rest of that stuff, I'll buy it.

(oh, and I thought I was obviously joking around *shrug*)

Well, it could be non-mandatory, but you could treat it as training in a discipline rather than being compulsorily licensed. So, for example, you could earn your black belt in fucking. Second dan is an advanced qualification that includes anal and gangbangs. And so on.

The sparring sessions would sure be fun.

Now you've got it. See I like your thinking. How cool would that be. "I'm a blackbelt in fucking." It'll be a whole new pick-up line.

Now of course one issue with my idea is the actual *testing.*

First off, i think that there should be a written test after the classes. Cuz hey, if you're too stupid to pass, you're too stupid to fuck. Then of course, similar to getting a driver's license, there has to be the test drive which is where things get tricky...

My driver's tests were all given by old women who looked like they'd rather be ANYWHERE else than giving me my driver's test. Should all the test givers be hot? Or should it be major points on the test if the test taker can make them interested in what's going on? I think that would be a great way to prove that you've really done the studying....

Would this be like the sex education class in Monty Python's 'Meaning of Life'? 'Cause I'd just keep taking the course, but failing the finals so I could take it again.

This I agree w.

I don't, because if they did it for all sex offenders then they'd have to do it for a statutory rape case between an 18 year old and a 17 year old. I don't think they should be put in the registry and I wouldn't want them to have to have it on their license.

A Sex License would be the "The Darwin Awards", but better. Now we'd really get that shit out of the gene pool!

...and OUCH! It's years later, but I still hurt from reading that golfing 'incident'.

Personal vendetta, I still say "yes". Littel girls are stupid, I was one I know.

Well I can't argue with that.

That absolutely cracked me up!

will there be an oral exam?

and *ahem* will be administering it?

Salome with a clipbvoard, observing you doing your best on a Real Doll wired up with sensory electrodes.

Noone seems to have proposed that people starting off on the licensing track could get a learner's permit, so as to be able to have sex with a licensed adult. You'd get a little booklet from your high school guidance counselor with all the basic information, then you'd take a computer based test for your permit. Then according to their resources and/or talents the sexual learners could then study under the tutelage of a licenced adult or take a class. The test would be same for all learners, and they could also test for endorsements for oral , anal, BDSM, etc. The learner's permit would enable the inexperienced to get started but it would also pressure people to really learn and get licensed, after all noone would still want to be on their LP when they were 25.

I would assume that there would be a period of time set to have the license renewed to account for those that have the occational drought. Just because you have a license is no reason to allow your skills to slack off.

I mean, they make you re-test for a drivers license when it comes up for renewal if your record isn't so hot.

Very funny idea with some valid points but in the end......VIVA LA FREEDOM!!!

wait, we're NOT supposed to say that?