Most perverted thing ever said to you?

What's the most perverted thing anyone has ever said to you (or you've said to someone else)? And I mean both hot perverted and ewwwww, gross perverted.

"I love you."

This really ancient little old man told me he'd love to rape me! I was so disgusted by that comment so I told him "Too bad you're too fucking old to do it then hey?"

Believe it or not the chick I was with thought I was very rude to him...WTF!!! No, she isn't on my Christmas list anymore.

[Edited on Mar 20, 2006 by kimberleyfantasy]

"I wanna circumsize you right now"

"after you wash up, can you lend me $500 bucks to make my mercedes payment?"

i think all the text messages in my phone are 'hot' perverted. when i was with my ex gf we'd text eachother a lot and say some pretty dirty things. can't think of any off the top of my head though and my phones upstairs.

One of my friends (a guy) once got drunk and told me that he wanted to see me cleaning the kitchen floor naked on my hands and knee's and covered in soap bubbles. We were with a few people just sitting on the couch watching TV and he just blurted that out. He was serious. I didn't know what to say.

I guess I was kind of asking for this one.

But at a local adult video shop I went into one of the little preview booths to watch (jack off to) a movie and some guy tried to open the door.

On my way out a fat guy about 60 years old is standing there and says, "No need to lock the door, I'd love to see you shoot!"

I was appalled, but I said something to the effect of, "Well you never will."

And he replied, "I'd still like to suck it!"

I was glad to finally move out of my parents house so I could jerck off without worrying about those perverts!

"Have you heard the Good News?"

"I want you to pretend you are babysitting me, then I want to rape you, stick pins in your nipples, then cum in milk bottles every morning for three months and make you drink it. While my mom watches."

Swear to fucking God, I wanted to run away screaming right then, but I was so fearful of my life I was frozen in horror.

damn, am i reading this right?

I wouldn't say this was really perverted but it was funny as hell..

When I was 20 I was sitting at a bar in Dever, CO and a dirty old guy (probably about 54+) walks up, sits down and says
"Hi, my name is Captain"
Before I could stop myself I asked what he was captain of and he grinned and said
"Captain of the U.S.S. Between your thighs"

I couldn't stop laughing and had to get up and leave. He was so sincere too and I think that's what I found the funniest.

Whoa... dayum. I'd want to run too.

That's hot!

Anything along the lines of, " OMFG I wnt 2 fck u so hrd rt nw"?

I wanna put it in your eye-socket.

When I was fourteen a guy about sixty walked up to me while I was with my best friend's entire family and asked if I wanted to have a good time.

its not like really gross, but i was walking down the street in a different town, and some guy goes into the servo i was walking past and says something, i thought he may of been asking for directions or something so i went a bit closer, and he said "will you have sex with me for 10 bucks?"
like, 10 bucks? wtf??!! i was upset he asked that, and even more upset he suggested 10 bucks.. like come on, who wouldnt be insulted.
he was this really gross old guy too.... oh yuk.
it made me quite upset though.

I was at this guy's party who I didn't even know, and I went to get a drink & he goes "How about I get on my knees and go down on you right here?"
An hour or so later, me and my friends were at the Waffle House & the same guy calls my cell phone & says, obviously shitfaced: "Wanna hear me jack off?"
I let my friend listen while this wasted dumbass jerked it. It was pretty damn funny.
the only other thing is being at a Godsmack concert behind a bunch of literally toothless drunk-ass rednecks who turned around & yelled "Show us your tits!"

*Shudders*

But I mean... really, that's no where near a gallon of cum.

I think he meant the old fashioned glass kind that get delivered to your door!!!

I agree with you. first,


and really, he must have been talking about a smaller sized milk bottle like a 14.5 oz single serving.

That's hardly the issue at hand!

I dont care if it was a thimble sized portion of ejaculate...read the rest of it!

"I want you to stick it in her pussy as I lick her clit."

First threesome with my best-friend and her best-friend. Nothing like sexual frustration building to such a point that a few rum and cokes and a hot dance floor get two horny kittens so riled up the cabbie blushes. It took all summer long, but the outcome was and is very much worth it!